Two Weddings

[MOMOFBRIDE]

I swear since I read this site that I'm getting a bit jinxed!

Believe it or not I now have two weddings coming up in a year. That's ok, but while one wedding has a definite set date, the other is to come, but, I've been told that it will probably be two weeks after my one child is married when my second child marries.

Now I know this gets all you gals crazy that someone would have the nerve to do their wedding so close when they know when the one couple are marrying, but as Mom I cannot decide on the dates, that's a bride and groom thing.

So, I have had to very quickly determine my game plan to stay out of hot water with this one and decide how to make this a wonderful experience for both couples.

My first plan is that under no circumstances will I speak of the wedding of one couple to the other. And ditto on all the grooms dinners etc. I will treat each couple like the other couple is not planning a wedding and all my focus when with them is about their day!!!!!

I have further decided when family is together that if these couples want to talk wedding then it will be with each other and I fully intend to not have a single word to say when the subject arises.

What do you think of my plan, I believe I can pull it off and make sure each couple feels that I am giving them my full attention to their day and make them feel special. Any other ideas????

[WebLady]

Didn't you just marry off one daughter or do I have you confused with another?

So are these other two weddings of your daughters; ie; will you be footing the bill? When the family is expected to pay for both I think it is rude of the children to choose dates too close to each other.

But it sounds like you are not really worried about the money issue; the rest of your plan sounds good ... best to keep out of any potential drama between the two planning couples.

All the best :)

[savepaws]

Your kids are lucky to have such a good mom! Your support & consideration for their feelings is going to make their wedding planning so much smoother!!! :D

[MOMOFBRIDE]

No mistake, I did just marry off one child! And yes, we will be contributing a certain amount of $$$'s to each wedding.

My concern is to not have anyone feel that the other couple are shining more then the other when it comes to myself and hubby. We want each child to have their moment in the sun and for this special time in their lives to be memorable. Hopefully my game plan will achieve this goal!!

[WebLady]

Your kids are lucky to have a mom like you :)

[mobdilemma]

My concern is to not have anyone feel that the other couple are shining more then the other when it comes to myself and hubby. We want each child to have their moment in the sun and for this special time in their lives to be memorable.

You have just described the on-going challenge of parenthood (when you have more than one child). Isn't that what we do throughout their lives? We celebrate each child's unique gifts and make each of them feel special whatever their talents may be. If you have successfully raised three daughters, I'm sure you have been well-prepared for this "wedding marathon" moment. I have no doubt that you will be able to pull it off with style.:)

[ChristineLS]

Your family is just about doubling! That's wonderful.

As for your dilemma... I think you came up with the best way to go about it. They will know that you are involved in their own wedding, but if they don't hear you going on and on about the other, they won't feel that you are about person X's wedding more than person Y.

I second Weblady's comment, you have lucky kids :)

[tangled_poison_ivy]

it sounds like your plan for dealing with the two weddings is a good one, I'm just worried about how your out of town family is going to take it. Coming for two different weddings in two months will be a big financial burden, and if some of your family can't foot the bill to come to two weddings, it might hurt your second daughter if they come to the first as they'd already planned, and then don't make it to the second. You my want to briefly mention that to her, even though you're trying to avoid mentioning it to them each.

[2MOB]

I wish you good luck on your plan. My daughter is getting married in about 3 weeks, & my son is getting married in 3 months. As hard as I tried to keep both weddings seperate, my daughter & son could not. I have kept quiet so neither child would know the plans of the other, it is very stressful on me. My daughter & my future daughter-in-law do not like each other, so this makes it even more difficult. What should be a very joyous occassion for me is turning out to be too much. We are talking about 3 months apart & they are acting as if it is 3 days apart. I will need a vacation after July!

[LovingLife]

Wow, so many weddings! I agree your plan sounds great! Lucky children you have!!

[MOMOFBRIDE]

Well, things are getting more and more interesting these days. While a date has not been set for the second wedding, it is being decided between two dates. One two weeks after, and the second three weeks after the first wedding.

Virtually, all the invites for both weddings will be going out same time and all the activities surrounding a wedding will be bumper to bumper. Added to all this, the second wedding has decided to down scale and virtually on my side the identical guests will be invited to both events. Can you imagine!!!!

Once the second wedding date is set, there will be some major strategic planning on how to pull off all the activities ie showers etc. surrounding two weddings and set it up so that each couple doesn't feel overshadowed. My real fear is because of the overlap of guests to both weddings that actually one wedding will end up with guests declining and possibly passing on some activities due to too many events. It practically is going to fill up all the weekends of the summer between the two. I really believe that this can possibly happen.

I actually believe at this point the second bride knows quite well that she is overstepping herself into the other couples wedding time. But, I also clearly recognize that she is going to plow forward regardless and just wants everyone's blessing. She is being very low key and insisting (mildly) that she doesn't want a shower, or girls night etc., though I believe she really does!I've been asked if I'm ok with everything and I've kept my smile in place and have my pat line. It's your wedding, do what you want!!


I hope I make it through this mine field.

[doris27]

I'm a little confused with all those weddings. Lol. But it sounds like one couple is intentionally scheduling the wedding close to the other couple's wedding. I hope they at least have a good reason for doing it. If the bride is your daughter, maybe you could speak to her about it? It sounds like you don't think it would do much good, though. If that is the case, your plan sounds like the best one. I think you are being a very supportive mother, and I admire you for it. I do hope when my kids grow up and get married someday that they will space it out a little. =-P