Help

[brewsells]

Ladies, can you please help me with an outside opinion. OK. I work with a gal (well I guess). She is a transgender person. (male to female). Her mom also works here and is my boss. I invited my boss, but not her daughter. My FH told me he would just not be comfortable with it, along with his family. I don't want to offend anyone. I doesn't bother me in any way, but I don't want my family and friends to feel uncomfortable. I don't even really care for her anyway. Is this totally rude of me not to invite her?

[cowboysbride]

Ladies, can you please help me with an outside opinion. OK. I work with a gal (well I guess). She is a transgender person. (male to female). Her mom also works here and is my boss. I invited my boss, but not her daughter. My FH told me he would just not be comfortable with it, along with his family. I don't want to offend anyone. I doesn't bother me in any way, but I don't want my family and friends to feel uncomfortable. I don't even really care for her anyway. Is this totally rude of me not to invite her?

Nope...Etiquette says that the proper way to handle office invites is your immediate boss or if you're a boss then your assistant, secretary etc. If you and she aren't that close then by all means don't invite her.

P.S. I got this from the 2nd edition of "Wedding Planning For Dummies"...it was a gift from my boss!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Ultimately Holly, I say it's your call. If you don't want to invite her because you dont get along and find her rude and what not then don't. However, if you want to invite her and feel that it would make your family uncommfortable, well, let's go back to the thread about Broke Backmountain and tolerance, KWIM??

Do they know she is transgendered? If not, don't point her out and let sleeping dogs lie! Simply put, invite her if you want, don't if you don't! Your boss CAN'T fire you for not inviting her daughter!!! That's discrimination and not grounds for firing!! Good luck!! :)

[brewsells]

I guess the reason this even bothers me is that a couple people in my office that I invited think it is rude. The daughter works with me but we do not communicate outside of work issues. I just don't want people to think I am a total Bi***. I only invited 3 people from my office so it's not like I am singling her out. I guess I shouldn't even care what they think anyway.

[WhiskeyGirl]

LOl...that's what I hated about planning a wedding. EVERYONE thinks they should be invited. There were tons of people who asked when they were recieving an invitation, I told them they weren't. that my guest list was made up and it was final. Or I would give some vague excuse and then avoided them. I have no clue why people think that a wedding is cheap and that a person can invite any old person! In the end it's your wedding, your day and your decision!! Good luck.

[brewsells]

Thanks Ellen and Shawna. I have decided, oh well. Be pissed if you want.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Always glad to help when I can Holly!! :)

[AngelinLove]

I just wanted to chime in that I agree with Ellen and Shawna. This is your wedidnga nd you should invite who you want to invite. You should not feel obligated to invite anyone and etiquette does not state that you need to invite this person, just because she works with you and isyour bosses daughter.

[cowboysbride]

Thanks Ellen and Shawna. I have decided, oh well. Be pissed if you want.

Good for you!

All together now....


IT'S YOUR WEDDING!

[Kacie_bride]

I wanted to put my two cents in as well. As long as you do not invite everyone in your office but her I think it is okay to not invite her. Truthfully I never even liked any of my bosses enough to invite them! I would only invite those from my office (if I had one) that I consider friends.

[brewsells]

I appreciate everyone's opinion on this. Thank you.

[LaceyinPgh]

You need to do what makes you happy. I didn't invite anyone that I work with to my wedding. I had only worked there the one school year before I got married so I wasn't super close to anyone (aside from my friend and bm, Erin who I have known my entire life). Sean only invited his 5 business partners and their spouses. He didn't invite any of the employees that work under him.

But you need to keep two things in mind. First, what are you going to tell your coworker or her mom if they ask why she wasn't invited. And secondly if you invited the mom with an "and guest" how will you handle the situation if the and guest happens to be her daughter?

[darkangel090260]

I do understand your problem quite a few friend of mine are TS and i cant have them at our wedding due to my family heck i cant even have my bestfriend because he is just a little diffrent. he would most likly show up in leather pants and a see throw shirt 3 size to small but i still love him

[wedbyjean]

You aren't being rude at all. From what you've said, this person (regardless of gender) is not a friend, merely a work acquaintance. Inviting your boss is proper etiquette, but you don't invite someone because they're the bosses daughter. It make no difference who her mom is. You're not close, she's not invited.

You can't please everyone, and even if you could, there is no reason to.

But you need to keep two things in mind. First, what are you going to tell your coworker or her mom if they ask why she wasn't invited. And secondly if you invited the mom with an "and guest" how will you handle the situation if the and guest happens to be her daughter? Excellent points. Couldn't have said it better myself.