scarymary48
03-08-2009, 04:52 PM
I'm having a shocking week, so I'm the first to admit that I'm a little bit sensitive, but this has kind of really thrown me. Here's the background:
Soon after we got engaged, I called my friend 'C' (who has been with her man for 10 years) to tell her the news. She was really thrilled for me, doing all the screaming etc, it was a nice moment. The she blurted out "Oh what kind of dress do I have to wear? I mean, I'm your bridesmaid right? I have to be a bridesmaid!"
I'd been engaged for less than 24 hours, so I hadn't even thought about it, but she kind of put me on the spot and I was all full of 'just got engaged' positive energy, so I agreed.
Fast forward to my wedding planning. Every single time for the next few months that I got my bridesmaids over to look at dresses or whatever, the night would always go the exact same way- C would sulk the entire time, and eventually cry because she has been with her guy longer and he hadn't proposed. The whole thing would be about her. Every. Single. Time. In the end I just gave up even having them over and did everything myself. I just felt like I wasn't even allowed to be excited about my own wedding in front of her.
Then last week, C's guy finally proposed. YAY. She rang me all excited and promised to be a happier bridesmaid from now on and apologised for not being there for me, and said how special it was that she was standing up with me.
Then she said "Oh, but you don't mind if you're not my bridesmaid, right? I want Three Other Random Chicks."
Here's my thing- I'm not mad that she doesn't want me as her bridesmaid. My feelings towards her have definitely shifted these few months when she was making me miserable about my wedding, so I don't harbour any secret desire to help her with hers. I don't thnk that just because she is my bridesmaid that I should be hers.
BUT I do feel really weird and sad about it. I mean, she literally invited herself into my wedding party. Is it that she doesn't think enough of our friendship to have me in hers? Did she assume that I didn't have enough friends, so she was automatically in?
I think it's made worse by the fact that my wedding is still 8 weeks away, because now I'm even less excited about doing bridesmaid stuff with her then I was when she was crying all the time. I just feel really weird about it, like its awkward now or something.
I know it's her wedding, and she can choose whoever she likes to be a bridesmaid, but still, I can't stop feeling a bit depressed about it.
Soon after we got engaged, I called my friend 'C' (who has been with her man for 10 years) to tell her the news. She was really thrilled for me, doing all the screaming etc, it was a nice moment. The she blurted out "Oh what kind of dress do I have to wear? I mean, I'm your bridesmaid right? I have to be a bridesmaid!"
I'd been engaged for less than 24 hours, so I hadn't even thought about it, but she kind of put me on the spot and I was all full of 'just got engaged' positive energy, so I agreed.
Fast forward to my wedding planning. Every single time for the next few months that I got my bridesmaids over to look at dresses or whatever, the night would always go the exact same way- C would sulk the entire time, and eventually cry because she has been with her guy longer and he hadn't proposed. The whole thing would be about her. Every. Single. Time. In the end I just gave up even having them over and did everything myself. I just felt like I wasn't even allowed to be excited about my own wedding in front of her.
Then last week, C's guy finally proposed. YAY. She rang me all excited and promised to be a happier bridesmaid from now on and apologised for not being there for me, and said how special it was that she was standing up with me.
Then she said "Oh, but you don't mind if you're not my bridesmaid, right? I want Three Other Random Chicks."
Here's my thing- I'm not mad that she doesn't want me as her bridesmaid. My feelings towards her have definitely shifted these few months when she was making me miserable about my wedding, so I don't harbour any secret desire to help her with hers. I don't thnk that just because she is my bridesmaid that I should be hers.
BUT I do feel really weird and sad about it. I mean, she literally invited herself into my wedding party. Is it that she doesn't think enough of our friendship to have me in hers? Did she assume that I didn't have enough friends, so she was automatically in?
I think it's made worse by the fact that my wedding is still 8 weeks away, because now I'm even less excited about doing bridesmaid stuff with her then I was when she was crying all the time. I just feel really weird about it, like its awkward now or something.
I know it's her wedding, and she can choose whoever she likes to be a bridesmaid, but still, I can't stop feeling a bit depressed about it.