Did I overreact????

[tha_mrs]

my husband works late on wednsdays. He actually is the creator of a special needs bowling league.(i am sooo proud of him) Anywho, I came home last night and his wedding band was on the living room table. So I called him. I said hey baby....you left me at home. He said he did it so nothing would happen to the ring while he was bowling. He said, I can't believe that you called me about this. I was like okay. So whe he got home I told him that we needed to talk. I explained to him why I felt it was important for him to never leave home without his ring. I said if you are worrying about something happening to it...why not just put it on the non bowling hand. But, don't leave home without it. I also asked him how he would feel if I left my ring at home...he said it depends on where you are going...I said to a place where I think something could "happen" to it. He never answered.He asked if it was okay for him to take a shower. He said that he couldn't believe that we were having this conversation and that he felt I was overreacting. What do you think?

[dylansmom011908]

I probably would have done the same thing if my FH had left without his ring. I can see your husband's point though, Bowling balls and rings don't mix well! (speaking from experience..oops! lol)

Anyways.. Unless you were screaming your head off at him for it, i don't think you over reacted. He needs to know how important wearing the wedding band is for you.

On another note.. if he's constently going out wihtout his ring on, that's one issue, but to leave it behind say when he bowls.. that's not something to argue over. You need to trust that your husband is a one woman man with or without the wedding band on.

[tha_mrs]

gotcha! Thanks. I wasn't sure how I was suppose to respond. No screaming. But, I don't really bowl so...I didn't know. But now I do. Thanks for your response. No he wears it everyday. Just brings it home on wed. before he goes to bowl.

[dylansmom011908]

sounds to me like he's just being extra careful because that's something of value to him!

That's a great thing! :bbwink:

[tha_mrs]

yeah. I didn't want to start any habits. I felt like if I said nothing...he'd think it was okay to just not wear it. Ya know. I wanted him to know how important it was to me.

[ChristineLS]

I understand where both of you are coming from - I told FH that I wanted him to wear the wedding band (after we are married) because it does not seem right to me that one of us is broadcasting non-singleness and the other isn't, and you wonder why... I was bowling on Friday though, and I had to take off my ring because my fingers were swelling and it gets too close to the finger holes, I was so afraid I'd break it! As long as your neighbors didn't hear the discussion, you're good :)

[tha_mrs]

LOL! Naaaa We don't yell. We talk. I wasn't mad, he wasn't mad. I was little frustrated and he was a little annoyed.But, now I understand his problem. And as long as this doesn't become a habit, I am okay with it. I told him that a married man out without his band is out "naked". (lol) And a bare finger is advertising a single man. A "band" is your commercial. It says I am apart of a something bigger than just me. so pardon me, I am not availible. (lol) I told him that wearing his ring to me.....is like me wearing his name to him.(which is very important to him)

[ThePhotoBride]

I had a similar issue recently. My husband is in Iraq, and they have a gym over there that they go to. He told me he takes his wedding band off when he lifts weights (he puts it on his dogtag chain until he's done lifting). I was a little annoyed by that and it did make me upset. I'm over it now, but if he ever thinks he needs to take his ring off for some silly reason (which I don't think he will, but you never know), I will definitely let him know how I feel about that.

I'm glad you and your husband didn't get into a big fight over it. I guess you wouldn't want anything to happen to the ring OR the finger that he wears the ring on. :)

[Jacobs_Girl]

IMO I think you did overreact. To understand him a little you have to think in his shoes. He basically didnt want to damage his ring you gave him, him thinking it would be much worse if he came home with a scratched up ring. I wouldnt think too much on it if he didnt wear his ring. There will be much more to argue about than the little things.

My husband NEVER wears his ring to work. He works in construction so his hands are constantly banged up and he would be very dissapointed if he was to lose a diamond.

[WebLady]

I probably would have done the same thing if my FH had left without his ring. I can see your husband's point though, Bowling balls and rings don't mix well! (speaking from experience..oops! lol)

Anyways.. Unless you were screaming your head off at him for it, i don't think you over reacted. He needs to know how important wearing the wedding band is for you.

On another note.. if he's constently going out wihtout his ring on, that's one issue, but to leave it behind say when he bowls.. that's not something to argue over. You need to trust that your husband is a one woman man with or without the wedding band on.This is pretty much my thought too ... on one hand I can understand you wanting him to wear his ring all the time, but I can understand why he wouldn't want to risk losing it, something happening to it, or have it possibly causing an injury while bowling or whatever.

So yeah, as long as he is not constantly leaving it at home and making excuses to why then I wouldn't worry.

Sounds to me like you both made more out of it than it should have been. But you should be able to calmly talk to each other about your feelings.

Maybe tell him that you are sorry for jumping on him about it, but explain how it made you feel; maybe it was not so much that he did it, but that you had to come home and just find his ring like that. Maybe he will apologize for his lack of communication and for not taking your feelings into consideration and for the way he handled you bringing it up.

If it makes you feel any better, my husband does even have a ring ;) We got married without them; neither of us are really big on jewelry and didn't think it was a big deal. Of course now I wear my grandmothers wedding band and since I started wearing it I actually like it there and sort of want a little nicer one to wear. But it still doesn't bother me that DH doesn't wear one.

All the best to you :flower:

[tha_mrs]

thank you guys for your responses! I needed those. I called and talk to him. He actually understood what I was saying and now I understand him. It took us a min. He prob went and asked someone...I had you ladies to bounce this off. We have a comprimise and are okaywith it. This way no one wins or loses.

[savepaws]

Glad that everything is ok. I think its very good that you brought it up since it was bothering you. No matter what, if something is bothering you, I think you should discuss it with your DH. Even if I'm overreacting about something and am upset over something that is no big deal, FH wants me to talk about it so that we can get it straightened out. Otherwise it'll just fester away inside of me and that is not healthy & then it can become an even bigger issue. At least now you know why he didn't wear it and now he knows why it means so much to you that he wears it. :)

FH won't be able to wear his ring once we get married when he is working because he works in construction & also does automotive work on the side. I just hope that when he gets home in the evening, that he'll put it on. He's never worn rings or jewelry so it will be a completely new concept to him and I don't know if he'll like it. lol I know I'll want him to wear it but honestly I don't think I'll make a big deal if he doesn't. I know how he feels about me and I don't think I'll take it personally. It's not like once he takes off the ring it means we are no longer married. We will say our vows and we will be bound to those vows no matter if we wear rings or not. :)

[NOTKT]

Glad you worked it out, I see your point. You are right, you don't want to allow habits like that, if it's important to you. I know that I would be upset, but I asked my DH and he would too. He wants me to show him how much want to wear it, etc.

DH can't wear his ring at work either, he works in the military on jets, and they say no jewelery. He can't even wear his dog tags, which I thought was kinda weird.

[JJsWifey08]

Me and hubby take off our rings to do any housework like dishes give the kids baths etc because I dont want anything happening to it. But If I got out somewhere i do have it on unless I know its a place it will get messed up but Ill wear my wedding band because my engagement ring has the prongs on it and I dont want it to bend or break.

[He_calls_me_Angel]

Glad you guys worked it out! I was going to say that I am left handed so I always leave my ring at home when we go bowling...

DH actually doesn't wear a wedding ring because.... well it's my fault lol I got the wrong ring size but he has a ring he has been wearing in place... I need to get his sized lol

[HisDelightfulFaerie]

It's great that yall worked it out. We've talked about all of that upfront. My DF is in the military and the stuff he works with could easily get his ring caught up in it. So I'm already aware that he won't really ever be wearing it.

[SerendipityCrafts]

LOL I handle this issue in another way.

DH will take his ring off because it can bother him (my fault really - I insisted that he get a big friggin thing and it makes his finger sweat :rofl:). Anyhow .... he doesn't mean to forget to put it back on but, from time to time it happens.

So, I told him that if he doesn't wear it, he owes me a diamond. One day, he actually came home with a cubic zirconium. As he put it, a cubic's properties are the same as a diamond. That was the day that I also clarified the rules :rofl:

I have forgotten my ring a few times as well but, I believe based on the current count, he owes me 4 diamonds.

BTW - I am a lefty bowler and I don't find my rings get in the way at all :)

[mitch]

My DH always wears His Wedding Band to work. And He's got His hands in Mud, Slurry and Rats Wee all day. :bbeek:

I do take My Engagement Ring of to do the Dishes and Housework. And since working from home i only put it back on when i go out the front door. Even if it's just to the local shops. But My wedding Band is always on. I also wear My Mum and Dads Wedding Bands on My other hand. They haven't come off since Mums Funeral when i got them.

If i was to see DH without His Band i would know there is a good reason for not wearing it. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions into why He took it off. I know He Loves Me. And even if He wasn't wearing it. He's still My Husband no matter what.

[HisDelightfulFaerie]

My DH always wears His Wedding Band to work. And He's got His hands in Mud, Slurry and Rats Wee all day. :bbeek:

I do take My Engagement Ring of to do the Dishes and Housework. And since working from home i only put it back on when i go out the front door. Even if it's just to the local shops. But My wedding Band is always on. I also wear My Mum and Dads Wedding Bands on My other hand. They haven't come off since Mums Funeral when i got them.

If i was to see DH without His Band i would know there is a good reason for not wearing it. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions into why He took it off. I know He Loves Me. And even if He wasn't wearing it. He's still My Husband no matter what.

I'm extremely vocal about the fact that he's mine. :D No confusion on anyone's part.

[Katiegirl]

FH says he's not going to wear his ring either. He's a mechanic, and he's afraid it will get caught up. I'm going to ask (insist) that he wear it on the honeymoon, and I'm hoping he'll get used to it and it will be comfy. I never notice my e-ring. I think he's just worried about it being uncomfortable, so I'm hoping he'll find that's not the case. :)

[Kfancii]

FH says he's not going to wear his ring either. He's a mechanic, and he's afraid it will get caught up. I'm going to ask (insist) that he wear it on the honeymoon, and I'm hoping he'll get used to it and it will be comfy. I never notice my e-ring. I think he's just worried about it being uncomfortable, so I'm hoping he'll find that's not the case. :)

If he is working on machinery or cars I wouldn't want him to wear his ring. I would worry about it getting caught up and the possiblity that he could lose a finger because of it. Now, when he isn't working, I would hope that he would wear it.

[ChristineLS]

BTW - I am a lefty bowler and I don't find my rings get in the way at all :)

I'm a lefty bowler too, and my ring gets waaay in the way. I am envious that yours stay put! :)

[ChristineLS]

My DH always wears His Wedding Band to work. And He's got His hands in Mud, Slurry and Rats Wee all day. :bbeek:

If i was to see DH without His Band i would know there is a good reason for not wearing it. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions into why He took it off. I know He Loves Me. And even if He wasn't wearing it. He's still My Husband no matter what.

This reminds me of my dad - he wears it constantly, though his occupation has a risk of getting it caught. He liked having it on, he's been pretty crazy about my mom since they got married.

... And then it came to a point that he could not take it off, and his finger had like, accommodated it. It freaked us (my siblings and I) out, and he went to get it cut off and resized. They told him it might take six weeks for his hand to get back to normal because he was probably about four sizes too small. It's been over two months and his hand still isn't quite right. You can tell exactly where the ring was!

And my mom is not happy about that, she wants him to have a ring back on :rofl:

[savepaws]

I'm a lefty bowler too! I don't have problems with my ring though because I use the little 8 pounders and my fingers barely fit in the holes. hehe

[HisDelightfulFaerie]

FH says he's not going to wear his ring either. He's a mechanic, and he's afraid it will get caught up. I'm going to ask (insist) that he wear it on the honeymoon, and I'm hoping he'll get used to it and it will be comfy. I never notice my e-ring. I think he's just worried about it being uncomfortable, so I'm hoping he'll find that's not the case. :)

It would scare me that he'd come home without a finger.

[Katiegirl]

It would scare me that he'd come home without a finger.

That's why I'm only going to ask him to wear it on the honeymoon and hope he gets used to it so he'll wear it when he's not at work. :)

[HisDelightfulFaerie]

That's why I'm only going to ask him to wear it on the honeymoon and hope he gets used to it so he'll wear it when he's not at work. :)

aha! makes sense.

[Qtpie]

My FH told me the other day that he WILL NOT be able to wear his wedding band to work. He is a tow truck driver. I trust him, and i know that he loves me and isnt out playing games. I on the other hand, am NOT SUPPOSED to wear my engagemnet/wedding ring to work. I work in a hospital and they say rings are grounds for infection to spread. But I still wear my ring, I will NEVER take my ring off.

[rubysync]

that was not overreacting.. if that happens to me, I will also confront him... we girls really love our ring, it is so special to us.. I might fight with him if my honey will leave his ring at home...

[mitch]

This reminds me of my dad - he wears it constantly, though his occupation has a risk of getting it caught. He liked having it on, he's been pretty crazy about my mom since they got married.

... And then it came to a point that he could not take it off, and his finger had like, accommodated it. It freaked us (my siblings and I) out, and he went to get it cut off and resized. They told him it might take six weeks for his hand to get back to normal because he was probably about four sizes too small. It's been over two months and his hand still isn't quite right. You can tell exactly where the ring was!

And my mom is not happy about that, she wants him to have a ring back on :rofl:

That's so sweet Your Mum and Dad are still smitten with each other.

As for a Ring making the hand look weird. I wear a Gold Heart Ring on My left little finger. I too have never taken it off for any length of time.
Infact i only took it off in October for the Ring Cushion. I didn't want to put Our Wedding Bands on it incase Grandson threw the Cushion.
My Late Dad bought Me the Ring for My 16th. So over the 24 years it's been there it has indented My finger.
When i do take it off You can clearly see where it sits. And the Ring itself is far from round. I've caught it so many times and almost yanked My finger off more than once. But i wont part with it.

[flyerso6]

My husband doesn't wear his ring all the time. He is a mechanic and doesn't wear it to work, he would probably scratch it up more than in just normal wear, he could possibly lose it, but worst of all he could get it caught in something and possibly break, or even lose his finger ( one of his co-workers have ), so him wearing his ring isn't that important to me. So most of the time he forgets to put it on when he gets home. We always joke that when people see us together they probably think he is messing around with a married woman and i am having an affair haha.