What's polite?

[Ashleyerin2]

So after talking with my step mother today, I've learned that her and my father would like to help us pay for our wedding.

As much as the money would help, My father and Step Mother have done soo much for me in the past 6 years, I even actually still owe my father some money (which I am paying him on), that the last thing I would want to do is accept money from him.

Would the money help? God yes. But by accepting it I feel like Im cheating him out of the money that I do owe him. If that makes sense.

How do I refuse it without hurting their feelings? Or do I just take it, and think of it as something that my Father wants to do, and go with it.

Ugh, this is getting more and more complicated. lol

[Docsgirl]

Maybe you could accept the gift of money they would like to give you for your wedding and use it for the wedding, but continue to pay him the money you owe from before. That way they feel like they're contributing to your wedding and you don't have the feeling that you're cheating him out of money. If that makes any kind of sense.

[WebLady]

Maybe he just wants to help you out and give you a gift since you are getting married and it is traditional for the brides family to help out.

As long as you continue to pay him what you owe him and you didn't ask him for any money for the wedding, I don't see the problem.

If you just really don't want to take anymore more money from them, then tell them you love them and appreciate them, but you want to do it on your own. Or maybe ask if their gift to you can be to cancel out the other money you owe them (depending on your relationship with them and how much it is I guess).

[gwenshack]

Maybe you could just tell your dad that you love him and appreciate the gesture, but that you're not sure you can accept it, especially since you already owe him money and you'd hate to take advantage.
The best thing to do is start a dialogue and let honesty be your guide! :)

[NOTKT]

Maybe if you don't want to accept money you could tell them what you need help with. DJ, reception, etc.