Pertaining to the Rehersal Dinner....

[dylansmom011908]

I'm wondering if there's a "right" way to announce to our wedding party at the rehersal dinner that the first alcoholic drink is on us but after that ... they're on their own.

It's not that me and my fiance are cheap or anything.. i just figure... 22 ppl at the rehersal dinner the night before the wedding and to have to pay for an open bar for them and then turn around the following day and give them another open bar is a bit much on our wallets.

Is there a proper way to get this point across without sounding cheap and offending someone?

Thanks for the help! :)

[WebLady]

I don't think there is any real etiquette on this ... you could either just tell them all, or maybe make a toast and mention it is "on you" then.

Are you having the dinner at a restaurant or something? Maybe you could have the drinks served to them.

I don't think I'd make a big announcement about it though; I mean, will there be other people there? You wouldn't want to make others feel left out for not buying them a round too.

[dylansmom011908]

Yes, it's going to be a a restaurant. the 22 count includes the guests of the wedding party.. actually not i think it's going to be 26 including our parents.

Anyways... We want to buy a round of drinks for everyone included there for the toast.. but we just dont' want ppl to assume they can keep ordering drinks on our tab.

I like your idea of having the first round served..then they can always go up to the bar and get more if they'd like..but i'll make sure the restaurant knows to included the first round on our bill only.

Thanks!

[WebLady]

Yeah, I would try to have the toast (your round) served then, and definitely let the restaurant know that is the only drinks to put on your tab.

You might also tell a few close friends and family the plan and have them mention it to others in passing that there will be a cash bar.

[wannabeNurse2]

I've only been to one rehearsal dinner, but the hostess gave me the nastiest look I have ever seen when I ordered a second drink on their tab. Everyone else was ordering more drinks so I didn't see what the big deal was. When I tried to pay for my drinks the hostess laughed and said that wouldn't be necessary. I was so confused! So I'm really interested in the etiquette for this.

[MrsDM]

I'm not sure, but also would like to know. FH's parents are paying and they asked what we wanted as far as open bar/ cash bar/beer soda only? I said I would say cash bar, but its entirely up to them.

I do like the idea of buying a round of drinks for everyone though. Since we are just having are parents, siblings, and close friends who are in the wedding at the rehearsal, I am more than fine saying, "First round of drinks is on us, but after that its cash bar."

[BarceloMayaPalaceBride]

Maybe you could leave it more up to the restaurant staff to handle the tabs? After the first drink you could have the staff ask the guests if they want to start a tab for themselves, or if they want to pay cash. With 22 people they will be able to remember who's on what tab, or if they are paying as they go. That way you don't have to make any awkward announcements about money, and people know exactly what's going on. :)

[wannabeNurse2]

I agree with BarceloMayaPalaceBride. Just let the restaurant take care of it.

[Docsgirl]

We're having open bar during cocktail hour and dinner, and then cash bar after dinner, except for our bridal party, who we will be covering on our tab all night. We're hoping this might keep the heavy drinkers to tone it down a little bit, but if not, at least we won't be spending hundreds of dollars to get them silly. Our reception venue manager also said it's their policy as a dinner theatre to cut people off when they've had too much. Thank goodness!

Maybe just make a toast saying the first round of drinks is on you. If I was at a wedding and the couple made a toast saying the first round of drinks was on them, I'd take it as they were only going to pay for the first round of drinks, and any other drinks would be my responsibility.

[caligal85]

Could you say something like, we're so happy you're all here, the first round of drinks is on us. Cheers!

[dylansmom011908]

that's all good suggestions..thank you ladies.. caligal.. i like the wording... i may use that!

[Brian's Bride]

My dad handed out drink tickets at my brother's rehearsal. Everyone got one ticket. Seemed to work out okay.

For my rehearsal, we just bought a 1/4 barrel and soda. If anyone wanted a mixer, they had to pay for it themselves.

[Whitewater]

OMG, I'm so glad you asked this question!! I never even THOUGHT about alcohol at my rehearsal dinner, since I don't drink and a lot of the people who will be at the rehearsal don't drink either. We're going to be at an Italian restaurant, though, so they'll have a big wine list, and probably a full bar.

There are some that will be attending that do drink -- I'm definitely going to use the suggestions on this thread to take care of it!


Whitewater

[Gertie]

We had reserved a large private room attached to a wonderful local restaurant in the downtown historical district. They rent it out for all kinds of events, and it was really nice. We had a buffet service with several of their great, homemade Italian entrees, veggies, and dessert and we just arranged for them to have someone serving drinks at the end of the line. They even put out this cute little wooden thing that was sort of a cross between a kid's lemonade stand and an old time fruit vendor painted with grapes and flowers, and served up red or white wine, iced tea, water, or lemonade. Because it was along the buffet line, people just got their glass full and were seated, then it closed when everyone was served, and we just paid for the wine by the bottle. The wine actually came from the local vineyard which has a tiny shop beside the restaurant, and they even gave us the case price, then brought us the remaining bottles. A couple of dh's cousins took over and gave pretty much any who wanted it a second half glass "just to use it up" but it was great.

[Karyanne20]

I am doing this and actually I am just going to casually mention it to all the people who will be there sometime between now and the rehearsal. I doubt anyone will care. They are there to celebrate your marriage, not score free drinks.