She called it a "Weird Wedding"

[kgvettegirl]

so I hang out on another forum and there was a thread about a weird wedding so just out of curiosity I started reading:

"Okay...maybe I'm just out of date or something....

But DH's cousin - in her late 20's with a great career and been living on her own for many years - is getting married and it just keeps getting weirder and weirder....

First....she sends a "Save the Date" card with her parents Christmas cards! She doesn't live at home - she's not even living in the same state as them. Ummm...post card postage ain't THAT expensive?!

Next - I get the invitation to the Bridal Shower. It is printed on green copy paper with some strange picture of food on the front. I know not everyone can/wants to make their own, but can't you buy nice invites at like, Target and just fill in the info??? These are seriously hideous.

Of course they are registered so I go to check out the registries. OMG. They registered for $15 bath towels, $300 cookware and a $300 Blue Ray Player. THEN they registered for hundreds of dollars in TOOLS at Sears!!! Things like a PVC cutter, carbide blades, an electric sander....along with shovels, hoes and lots of drill accessories.

Maybe I'm just bitter because the girl never sent so much as a card when we got married or even when the twins were born....not even a Christmas card. Not ever. We basically have not heard from her until her parents Christmas card arrived. I am totally opposed to DH flying to West Virginia to attend this wedding, but he still feels obligated for some reason....

Whew! I feel better now....thanks for letting me get that out. http://www.cricut.com/messageboard/image/s5.gif "

The rest of the thread was the other members responses and girls let me tell you they pretty much raked the poor bride over the coals. So what we have learned here is don't skimp on postage for your STD's, Nice invites instead of photo copies of shower invitations, and if you have never spoken or visited with a family member your chances are pretty slim of them attending or purchasing any of your gift registry.

[ChristineLS]

Was this on TheKnot?

[Thalia_themuse]

Was this on TheKnot?

I was going to ask that too... :notsure:

That's insane. I love OneWed because people are nicer and a bit more sensible... I am sooo lost as to what the issue is with having registered for tools? I must have missed something pretty big... :snide:

Besides, just because they register for something you don't like doesn't mean you have to buy it for them... there are generally enough options for everyone to get something that suits them and then they get a discount on what's left on the registry. I am confused.

[gwenshack]

I'm just happy that nobody rakes me over the coals on this site. My fragile ego wouldn't be able to take it! haha. :)

Um, everyone's different though...it really doesn't sound like that bride really did anything tooooo unusual...I mean, I know lots of people who registered for that kind of stuff, I know lots of people who like to save money on postage, and if I had a shower I'd probably insist on an evite - no paper at all! Funny post.

[Deanna2112001]

I posted on ******* on Friday.. just responded to a thread where someone got there first NO. I simply said I got my first no today too.

Omg.. you would of thought they were eating dinner at a table and I walked up and totally interupted everyone to make my comment.

Needless to say.. I ended it.. saying they can go **** their selfs.. lol To stop crying about me not introducing myself.. when I did that Months ago!

[SerendipityCrafts]

I love OneWed because people are nicer and a bit more sensible...

I love it because there isn't the same "catty-ness" that one tends to find on other boards.

I happen to like differences :) Wouldn't this world be a boring place if we all thought or acted the same?!

[Mrs.Goff]

It's like that on the forum I came from. I swear I was afraid to post. Because I knew I would be attacked by Miss. Manners personal army. lol I still go there and read the post and keep up my journal because I did meet a few nice people. But I don't comment on too many things.

I know there are rules of etiquette but sometimes rules just don't apply.

Like the rules of STDs. Someone once posted that she had sent out STDs to several people from her old church. However she hadn't spoken with them in over 6 months and she had move and started attending a new church. She wanted to know if she had to send an invite to the members of her old church, because she had limited space and would like to invite member of the new church.

I told her that I wasn't sure what the etiquette rule was. But that if it were me I would send the invites to the new people.

Of course the etiquette police attacked saying you MUST invite everyone that received a STD.

My response was, yes, you should intend on inviting everyone that you send a STD to. But that sometimes things change. More importantly people change. I stated that if I sent someone a STD and we had a falling out or our relationship changed for the worst that I wouldn't send them an invite.

And that if I were in this girls shoes I would invite the new church members, before I would invite people that I hadn't even heard from in 6 months.

All of this sparked a war that last weeks. lol


I love it here because everyone is welcomed with open arms. There are more then a handful of active members, and those members are willing to respond to a question and not attack someone, just because their opinion is different.

Agree or disagree there's no need for a personal attack. IMO of course.

[WebLady]

As for other boards; I have been on other less than friendly boards with all sorts of drama junkies and I am so glad to have found a home here at OW :D

As for the "weird wedding"; I would probably be more bothered by an invite from someone I barely know and hardly ever see or hear from. I sure wouldn't be going to that wedding; especially in another state. They would be lucky to get a nice card from me.

You are not obligated to go to a wedding (or shower or whatever) of some random family member just because you get an invite. If you are not a part of their lives normally then why go to the wedding? The way I see it; these people are usually either fishing for gifts or "just being nice" by inviting you and really don't care if you are there or not.

DH and I have gotten wedding invites from his extended family; some of which are not even on our Christmas card list! I really feel like it is fishing for gifts when we never hear from these people and then suddenly when they are getting married they send us an invite. And even more so when I get a shower invite from someone I have never even met and DH hasn't seen or heard from them in years; and the event was in another state!

Needless to say, we don't attend these events ;)

[kgvettegirl]

Not the Knot I only went there once and when I found this place I never went back.

This was on the Cricut Forum. There are some pretty hard core nasty females on there and I try to stay out of the drama by usually only posting on the "card" threads. But since I hadn't looked in a few days I went to view all new posts since I had been on the last time.

One posters gift idea was for the lady in question to make her some really nice thank you cards so that at least the quality should be up to snuff.

I think I'm just going to looked at cards on there from now own and not even look at other parts of the forum. And stick with you guys for the friendship and camaraderie that is so much better here.

[savepaws]

This is by far the friendliest & most supportive wedding board that I've seen.

If they want to print their shower invites on green copy paper with fruit on the top, well its not like it is hurting anyone. Maybe the bride thought they were cute. Or maybe someone else made them. I don't even know what my bridal shower invites look like! My FSIL made them and I won't see them until after they've been mailed.

[kgvettegirl]

I guess if I had told them that my wedding invites were special e-mails inviting people to view the wedding online they would have had a field day with me too. And we didn't register for gifts because we had 2 houses full of stuff.

[girlggc]

I love this site because it's so nice and supportive. Nobody deserves to be raked over the coals like that.

[Jenna5366]

Wow, talk about over reacting! I hate boards like that. Unfortunately, there are quite a few of them. :(

[ChristineLS]

I'm just happy that nobody rakes me over the coals on this site. My fragile ego wouldn't be able to take it! haha. :)


We'd have to look *really* hard... and then we'd be shooting ourselves in the foot! You give some awesome advice. :)

But for real... I've seen some nasty forums online, and this is most definitely not one of them. I feel really, really comfortable here, and I know that I'll get well thought out, well meaning advice, support, and get to hear about what's going on in everyone else's world.

[laurenbee]

First....she sends a "Save the Date" card with her parents Christmas cards! She doesn't live at home - she's not even living in the same state as them. Ummm...post card postage ain't THAT expensive?!



This might be a tad snarky for a first post, but here goes... Maybe she was concerned family friends wouldn't be able to place her if she sent the cards on their own? ;)

[kgvettegirl]

This might be a tad snarky for a first post, but here goes... Maybe she was concerned family friends wouldn't be able to place her if she sent the cards on their own? ;)
Makes sense to me.

I went back and tried to find the thread. the search engine is really bad. I was going to let these women know that they need to lighten up but unless I can find the thread that won't be possible.

[WebLady]

Makes sense to me.

I went back and tried to find the thread. the search engine is really bad. I was going to let these women know that they need to lighten up but unless I can find the thread that won't be possible.
I woudn't worry too much about that; I would guess they will just flame you too.

[wannabeNurse2]

I hate the knot so much! The flaming, the drama, the preppy spoiled *****es. That site reminded me of high school so much. I'm so glad I found this site! You gals show there is such a thing as constructive criticism.

[tk93]

This might be a tad snarky for a first post, but here goes... Maybe she was concerned family friends wouldn't be able to place her if she sent the cards on their own? ;)

Haha, if that's the case, why is she sending them cards in the first place? :huh:

By the way, what's the etiquette for gifts if you're invited to one of those weddings by unfamiliar extended family members and you have no intentions of attending? Do you still gift or ignore?

[BnB]

I too belong to 3 other boards, not wedding related, but custody related, and there is always some sort of drama going on, in fact, 3 different times, the boards have been shut down because of it, once it lasted 2 months

I love it here too:)

[Ashleyerin2]

I started out on the Knot, came here, and havent visited the boards there since. I still look at the dresses and some of the other articles, but as far as asking things, uh-uh. I like it here :0)

[He_calls_me_Angel]

Ah the Knot... their motto should be "The Knot... Where Brizillas are made"

I made the mistake of checking the knot out as well... I was SOOOOOOO thankful to find onewed... and I think it was by total accident... a very happy accident though!

I've been married nearly 6 months now and I still love coming here... the people are just so wonderful! What are the odds that there are soooo many nasty brides on other forums and all the nice brides happened to end up here? lol really how often is it that you find a forum where everyone is so kind and helpful!?

[wannabeNurse2]

It's because the moderators here are awesome!

[WebLady]

I am glad that you all love it here and we all know that there are other sites/boards out there that are less than friendly, but lets not stoop down and continue bashing them ;) Lets just be happy with our own fun and friendly community :)

[caligal85]

By the way, what's the etiquette for gifts if you're invited to one of those weddings by unfamiliar extended family members and you have no intentions of attending? Do you still gift or ignore?

I believe the etiquette, is at least a card, gift if you're able to, but a card is a must. If I don't know the people, though, I don't know them, so I find it hard to justify a gift.

[gwenshack]

I believe the etiquette, is at least a card, gift if you're able to, but a card is a must. If I don't know the people, though, I don't know them, so I find it hard to justify a gift.

I always feel obligated to send a gift if I'm sent an invitation to a wedding, engagement party, shower, blech, even if I don't know the people. I feel like a jerk if I don't. :icon_barbar:I think this is a good question! Sara, I think maybe I'm gonna take your advice and just try to swing a card in the future in these situations.

[Whitewater]

Haha, if that's the case, why is she sending them cards in the first place? :huh:

By the way, what's the etiquette for gifts if you're invited to one of those weddings by unfamiliar extended family members and you have no intentions of attending? Do you still gift or ignore?

I don't know the proper etiquette, but since I'm one of those people who likes to be nice, I'd send a nice wedding-themed card and a small gift, around $25 or so. And RSVP that you're so sorry but you'll be unable to attend.


Whitewater