DH wants to be an Ultimate Fighter...what???

[candars]

Okay, so now my DH says he wants to start training to become an Ultimate Fighter. For those of you who don't now what that is, he would basically be getting into a ring/cage with another fighter...and they fight until somebody either taps out or is knocked out! I told him I don't want him doing this but he's so stubborn! He keeps telling me not to worry because he's not going to die. I keep telling him that he's bound to get hurt at some point. It's not that I think he's a wimp or that he couldn't do it, he's not wimpy at all and I know that he's tough enough to do this! I just don't want him to get hurt at all. Am I being selfish? He wants to do this to make himself happy and he thinks it would be fun. My mom was even excited about it when he told her. Am I crazy for not wanting him to do this? What would all of you do and how would you feel if you were in my situation?

[mj512]

Haha if DH told me he wanted to train to be an Ultimate Fighter I have no clue what I would do. We would certainly be having a serious talk about it. I would explain to him how worried I would be about him and that I enjoyed the way his face looks :)

I don't think you are crazy for not wanting him to do it. Maybe try to find him another hobby to distract him :)

[Docsgirl]

DH is one of the "cut-guys"(clean up the wounds so the fighters can continue to fight) when they host the fights down by the beach here. I'm not going to lie, he's seen some pretty bad stuff. Broken cheekbones, noses, head fractures, broken ribs. And the guys will continue to fight! We watch the fights on pay-per-view with friends sometimes, but none of the guys want to do it themselves and they're trained marines. I really don't know what I would do if DH said he wanted to try it. I don't think he will though, cuz he's a skinny guy, and broke his collar bone in combat training that never healed correctly. I wouldn't want him to do it either though, if I was in your situation. There are a lot of broken bones and even if you win money for winning the match, you still have to pay the medical bills to get fixed if you're injured badly.

Maybe you could take him to a match that will be hosted close to you. Maybe once he sees just how much of a beating those guys take, he might change his mind.

[BarceloMayaPalaceBride]

What is it with men & ultimate fighting? When it comes on the TV Bo goes crazy! Whenever I attempt to watch it someone always starts bleeding profusely. I completely understand where you are coming from by not being too thrilled about the idea. Has this always been his dream or did he just decide it? Do you think it's sort of like a phase and it will pass?

[BarceloMayaPalaceBride]

BTW, I just noticed you're in Oklahoma. My buddy in Oklahoma just informed his mom that he too wants to be an ultimate fighter. Does your hubby have any buddies that want to do this with him? His name is Derek. (It's a long shot that you would know him) hehe His mom wasn't too thrilled about the idea.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Me? Death would definitely be a worry but even still, I think I would worry more about him sustaining brain damage.

I remember watching a film in psychology class that showed what happens to the brain during a fight. Each and every blow to the face snaps the brain to the back of the head. One punch may not produce brain damage but years of it will.

Boxing causes brain damage, acute brain haemorrhage and eye, ear and nose damage. There is evidence that boxing not only causes acute brain injury but also chronic brain damage, which is sustained cumulatively in those who survive a career in boxing. It may take many years before boxers and ex-boxers find out they are suffering from brain damage.

In 2005 the World Medical Association [WMA] stated that "Boxing is a dangerous sport. Unlike most other sports, its basic intent is to produce bodily harm in the opponent. Boxing can result in death and produce an alarming incidence of chronic brain injury. For this reason, the WMA recommends that boxing be banned."

Research has long shown that head trauma— something no boxer cannot avoid over the years—puts one at risk for permanent brain damage. Brain cells generally cannot repair themselves (as can cells elsewhere in the body), so damaged neurons stay damaged. The American Medical Association and British Medical Association have both called for a ban on boxing, citing statistics of brain damage in professional boxers.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/05/070502093035.htm

Does he participate in "regular" boxing now? It can/will cause brain damage as well but at least there is some protection (ie gloves and governing regulations).

Of course this is just my opinion but I don't understand the need/desire to pummel someone else. If this idea is coming from out of the blue, I would be tempted to ask him to seek professional help. :snide:

[candars]

Haha if DH told me he wanted to train to be an Ultimate Fighter I have no clue what I would do. We would certainly be having a serious talk about it. I would explain to him how worried I would be about him and that I enjoyed the way his face looks :)

I don't think you are crazy for not wanting him to do it. Maybe try to find him another hobby to distract him :)
I have talked to him about it and told him I don't want him to get hurt and that I do love his face just the way it is, but he's one of those "manly men" and thinks he'll be fine. He's just so stubborn and once he gets his mind set on something, he dedicates himself 100%...so I don't even know if talking to him about it more would do anything. Plus, I've always looked at it this way: he's a grown man and can make his own decisions. I will give him my opinion, but when it really comes down to it, and he still wants to do it, I will let him do whatever, but this is pretty different than most situations and decisions. About getting him a different hobby, I wouldn't even know where to start!

[candars]

DH is one of the "cut-guys"(clean up the wounds so the fighters can continue to fight) when they host the fights down by the beach here. I'm not going to lie, he's seen some pretty bad stuff. Broken cheekbones, noses, head fractures, broken ribs. And the guys will continue to fight! We watch the fights on pay-per-view with friends sometimes, but none of the guys want to do it themselves and they're trained marines. I really don't know what I would do if DH said he wanted to try it. I don't think he will though, cuz he's a skinny guy, and broke his collar bone in combat training that never healed correctly. I wouldn't want him to do it either though, if I was in your situation. There are a lot of broken bones and even if you win money for winning the match, you still have to pay the medical bills to get fixed if you're injured badly.

Maybe you could take him to a match that will be hosted close to you. Maybe once he sees just how much of a beating those guys take, he might change his mind.
We have actually been watching quite a few fights lately...and he went and bought a lot of the past UFC fights on DVD so we've been watching those, too. And they do get really beat up! I watched one the other day with Forest Griffin - who is a great fighter, and he ended up with a gash in his forehead from a forearm to the face. The gash looked awful and was huge! He just kept fighting, too. Another one, a guy got a gash on his eyelid, I swear it looked like he had another eye! And everytime we see something like that happen, I ask him "And you really want to do that?" Of course his answer is yes. :irked: That same guy Forrest Griffin broke his arm during a fight and continued to fight and still won! But these guys have had years and years of experience and practice. We neve have any matches like that around here, but he wants to go see one in Vegas soon. Maybe after he sees it in person he will change his mind, but I kind of doubt it.

[candars]

What is it with men & ultimate fighting? When it comes on the TV Bo goes crazy! Whenever I attempt to watch it someone always starts bleeding profusely. I completely understand where you are coming from by not being too thrilled about the idea. Has this always been his dream or did he just decide it? Do you think it's sort of like a phase and it will pass?
That's another thing. He always goes through phases. He wanted to be a professional wrestler for a while, then a bodybuilder, world's strongest man, I could go on and on, but I won't. It my pass, but it may not. He's pretty unpredictable about this kind of stuff. At one point, him and his friend - when they wanted to be professional wrestlers - actually had me record a "fight" that they did. It was so stupid! Hitting each other with belts and jumping off of fences. That phase eventually passed, but he just moved on to something else.

[candars]

BTW, I just noticed you're in Oklahoma. My buddy in Oklahoma just informed his mom that he too wants to be an ultimate fighter. Does your hubby have any buddies that want to do this with him? His name is Derek. (It's a long shot that you would know him) hehe His mom wasn't too thrilled about the idea.
Unfortuantely, yes he does have friends that want to do this, too. His friend Michael already has a group of like 5 guys, so Michael has been doing this kind of stuff for a while. But he seems to have gotten Danny more excited by offering to train him and stuff. Where in Oklahoma does your friend live? We live in Oklahoma City, but his friend Michael lives in Newcastle.
They've already been talking about where they can do their fights! I just wish that Michael wouldn't have contributed to Danny's idea like he did...:irked:

[candars]

Me? Death would definitely be a worry but even still, I think I would worry more about him sustaining brain damage.

I remember watching a film in psychology class that showed what happens to the brain during a fight. Each and every blow to the face snaps the brain to the back of the head. One punch may not produce brain damage but years of it will.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/05/070502093035.htm

Does he participate in "regular" boxing now? It can/will cause brain damage as well but at least there is some protection (ie gloves and governing regulations).

Of course this is just my opinion but I don't understand the need/desire to pummel someone else. If this idea is coming from out of the blue, I would be tempted to ask him to seek professional help. :snide:
He doesn't participate now, but he did wrestle and played football in high school. Yeah, I know it can seriously injure him-not just broken bones or his face/body being busted up-but that it can cause brain damage, too. I think I will try to talk to him about it again...the bad thing is that boxing is way different than ultimate fighting. It's not just punching someone with boxing gloves. They kick, choke, do submissions...and only wear these little gloves-mostly to eep them from breaking bones in their hands when hitting someone. And Danny is so persistent, I don't think he would give up a fight easily-if at all. Once his adrenaline starts pumping, he doesn't really feel pain, so I'm also worried that if he did fight and got hurt, he would keep fighting just to prove that he could do it.
Professional help is definitely out of the question! He has a pretty bad temper and I have tried to get him to see someone about that and he refuses. He's got so much anger built up inside of him and I have told him that seeing someone would help. He has a lot of anger towards his mom and step-dad. His mom started doing crack and just left when he was about 18...without saying a wod to him. She eventually came bac and is now clean, but all the s**t she put him through is still eating at thim. He also grew up watching his step-dad beat on his mom, he would beat her up pretty badly, too. I thin maybe this might be his way of keeping his mind off of things and letting out his anger. Another thing...I don't exactly want him to hurt anyone else either. I don't like thinking of him as a violent person...

[KMS]

Would something like karate satisfy his desire? I hope that you can talk him out of it! It would worry me too. I have to be honest, it wouldn't even be up for much of a discussion between Chad and I. I guess many dangerous things are just off limits with us.

[RosieAngel]

I second the suggestion for training in traditional martial arts, especially something like Tae Kwon Do, which has you breaking bricks with your bare hands for macho times. The first things they teach you in TKD are to control yourself both physically and emotionally so you'll never want to fight IRL.

It seems like he just needs something competitive and athletic to do, which in a way is good, because he won't end up being fat. Hopefully you can channel his desire to fight into something structured like TKD or another martial art.

[WebLady]

OK, I just skimmed the thread here so please forgive me ...

As for the ultimate fighting thing in general; if you are that against it (I would be) then you too should talk about it.

My brother went though a phase where he wanted to do something like that; he still has that sort of thing all over his MySpace page :bbrolleyes:

I don't know, I guess it could be a way to get out some frustrations, but the way I see it there are better ways that won't have as much risk of you getting hurt or really hurting someone else ... JM2C

As for your DH's anger issues; this is really a serious thing! He needs to get this out or it can lead to bad things later down the road. He could take it out on you, on someone else, on your future children, or on himself. You hear stories all the time of people with unresolved issues turning to drugs and alcohol.

Going to a couselor doesn't mean you are crazy or unstable, it just means you need to talk to a neutral party to help you understand and work through things.

All the best to you and your DH!

[gwenshack]

If my FH came to me and said that I would laugh in his face - he'd never have a chance...haha.

As for yours, well, if you aren't comfortable with it you should really try to have a sit down to discuss pros and cons...I do see more cons though...

As a side note, this totally reminds me of that Friends episode when Monica was dating Jon Favreau and he decided to be an ultimate fighter - and he got his butt kicked.

[Ninedays9]

As a side note, this totally reminds me of that Friends episode when Monica was dating Jon Favreau and he decided to be an ultimate fighter - and he got his butt kicked.

It reminded me of that, too! That's actually how I knew what it was.

Anyway, I really hope he changes his mind!

[MrsDM]

OMG - Ultimate Fighting is always on in our house!!!!

Personally, I wouldn't allow FH to do it. Those guys get beaten so bad. Although, I have a friend who's BF has been doing it for a few years and he has only lost maybe 2-3 times and hasn't been beaten up nearly as bad as what the guys on TV are.

Still, it would scare me!!!

[vicky_vicky]

If I were at your situation I would make it a big deal. I wouldnt want my husband to fight and I would insist untill the end.
I believe this is something that has to to with both of you, not only him.

[ChristineLS]

I second the suggestion for training in traditional martial arts, especially something like Tae Kwon Do, which has you breaking bricks with your bare hands for macho times. The first things they teach you in TKD are to control yourself both physically and emotionally so you'll never want to fight IRL.

It seems like he just needs something competitive and athletic to do, which in a way is good, because he won't end up being fat. Hopefully you can channel his desire to fight into something structured like TKD or another martial art.

I third it - while it doesn't have the same macho appeal that ultimate fighting does, by the accounts of those I know who do it, it's 1) difficult 2) competitive and 3) lots of opportunities to spar.

Good luck! I understand your concern, I would be too!

[xxredletterday]

Honestly... and I don't know how many will agree with me here but...

Getting into something like that would be a total lifestyle change. Training, going to fights, and taking care of injuries sustained during those fights is an all involving process. Especially the injury part... because you are going to be the one dealing with it. If DH gets broken bones, a concussion, or heaven forbid - brain damage, you are going to be the one expected to care for him. Let alone picking up all the slack that is left around the house. This is something that would be an all-the-time commitment, and while he might get a thrill out of being in the ring beating on someone else, and possibly getting beat on himself, I somehow don't think that he is looking at the whole picture. Mainly, the picture involving his WIFE.

One of my good friends' FH is a cagefighter. She is always talking to me about how she wishes that he were home more often (they have a child as well). She hates seeing him in the ring, and says that she doesn't know what is worse: seeing him lose, or seeing him win.

But the thing that bothers her most, I think, is how embarrassed she is to be seen in public with him. Just imagine sitting down to dinner with your family, and DH is there with 2 black eyes, or cuts, or a split lip, or a swollen broken nose, or... all of the above! I can't even imagine how she must feel, because even though FH and I are friends with them, I must admit that I find it hard not to sneak gawks at the way he looks sometimes.

And here is the main thing I wanted to say. If you are husband and wife, I believe that a lifestyle change is something that you should both whole-heartedly agree on, since it will most definately involve both of you. If you really feel as if you don't want him getting into this potentially damaging lifestyle (like, not talking about oh honey... I really think I want to get into golf), then as your husband, he should have enough respect for you to honor your decision. Period.

[candars]

Thank you so much for all of your replies/suggestions! I have tried talking to him about it more, but he's just not understanding. He's so darn stubborn and once he gets is heart set on something, there's not much anyone can do. The bad thing is everyone else-my mom, my sisters, his mom-they all think it would be cool! WTF? If I could get them on my side, then we all might be able to talk him out of it, but I don't think that's going to happen. When he came home and told me my mom was fine with it, I yelled, "she's not your wife, though!" Obviously they aren't thinking of everything that can happen. He might be starting to listen more, though. He now understands that I'm not saying he's going to lose all of those matches, but at some point, he will lose one. He may get lucky and just get knocked out, or he might be unlucky and keep fighting injured. He said that he does see where I am coming from and does understand my concerns. But, he still wants to do it...he has done karate-type stuff in the past, so I'm not sure if he would be interested in something like that or not. It's kind of one of those been there, done that things for him. I am just going to keep talking to him about it until I get it through that thick skull of his!

[WebLady]

Thank you so much for all of your replies/suggestions! I have tried talking to him about it more, but he's just not understanding. He's so darn stubborn and once he gets is heart set on something, there's not much anyone can do. The bad thing is everyone else-my mom, my sisters, his mom-they all think it would be cool! WTF? If I could get them on my side, then we all might be able to talk him out of it, but I don't think that's going to happen. When he came home and told me my mom was fine with it, I yelled, "she's not your wife, though!" Obviously they aren't thinking of everything that can happen. He might be starting to listen more, though. He now understands that I'm not saying he's going to lose all of those matches, but at some point, he will lose one. He may get lucky and just get knocked out, or he might be unlucky and keep fighting injured. He said that he does see where I am coming from and does understand my concerns. But, he still wants to do it...he has done karate-type stuff in the past, so I'm not sure if he would be interested in something like that or not. It's kind of one of those been there, done that things for him. I am just going to keep talking to him about it until I get it through that thick skull of his!Wow, I am surprised anyones Mom would think this sort of thing is cool :bbeek:

But it wouldn't matter if the whole world thought it was cool if you (his WIFE) didn't! If you did something he didn't approve of, I am sure he would have some things to say about it.

To me it wouldn't be soley about if/when he was to loose, but the whole violence aspect of it. And what if he really hurts someone else; that is cool?!

Maybe write out all of your feelings on the issue and some ideas for acceptable alternitives and present the issue to him that way, so you can get all your thoughts out without forgetting something and without seeming like you just don't want him to do something he wants to do.

All the best :flower:

Edit: Maybe get him the PS2 game UFC: Sudden Impact ;)