Night Shifts

[ikkin510]

Anyone else out there have a FH or DH that works a night shift or is away with traveling a lot? My FH has been on a rotating days and nights shift for almost 2 months now. I don't mind the rotating and I don't mind the day shifts. I am having a hard time with the nights though. We do not live together yet, but he tucks me in every night when he doesn't work nights. It's tough on nights like tonight when he isn't around. I know it will be even harder once he moves in and I have him asleep next to me. How do you cope with FH/DH not being there? I figured I would get use to it after awile, but so far it's not much easier. :bbcry:

[WhiskeyGirl]

Fortunately for me I don't have that problem. My best recommendation would be to get a dog or cat to share the bed with?! lol

[ikkin510]

We are going to be getting a dog. But with the house still needing some work yet, and then the wedding coming up, we decided to hold off until after that stuff is done. So hopefully that will be a wedding gift or christmas gift to each other. I was hoping that would help me out a bit having at least a pet around.

[LaceyinPgh]

Sean travels a lot with his job. Usually he is out of town 3-4 nights a month. Right now he is in Seattle. At first it was kind of hard but after 5 years of living with him, I am really used to it. It gives us personal space. I didn't used to be able to sleep or if I did, I didn't rest well just becaue I was lonely. Then I realized just because he is out of town doesn't mean that I have to sit at home lonely and sad. He is out doing stuff so why shouldn't I. These are the nights I do things with girlsfriends or my mom. Sometimes I just take the time for me. It is nice when I work and I don't have to rush home to get dinner ready.

My advice is to find something that you enjoy doing and do it when Steve is working the night shift. That way you don't feel like you are taking away from your time as a couple but you are still enriching yourself. I go shopping, read, I have osme organizations I am member of and I go to meetings when Sean isn't in town. Things like that. Or, plan girls nights and go to dinner and movie. On Friday my MOH and I are going to dinner when she gets done with work. I haven't seen her since the wedding. Plus it makes you apprecaite the time you do spend together.

[Jenn060306]

Mark works from 9am to 9pm Tuesday-friday. So i have alot of time on my own in the evenings. It gets kinda boaring and lonely at times. I've spent so much time planning the wedding in that time that it didn't usually bother me too much. But now i have more time to sit arround and wonder what to do with myself.
I have to agree with Lacey. Make the most out of this time on your own. Get involved in some things, take some courses of interest, and plan to get together with your friends. It can be more difficult to find those girlfriend times when you are married.
The nights when Mark is away over night i don't sleep as well. I've actually fallen out of bed because he hasn't been there to block me. I leave more lights on in the house and the TV on to make a little extra noise. It makes me feel a bit better.
Eventually you will become accustom to him not being there.

[LaceyinPgh]

I'm curious, is it a security issue that you are feeling or is it a loneliness issue?

[Kacie_bride]

Justin goes out of town a lot for his job. During major show season Jan-Apr he is only home a few days here and there. During that time he is never home for a complete week. After that he goes out of town a few times a month. In fact he is out of town now. He just took another job and will start in a couple of weeks so there will be less travel!

I am getting used to it. Sometimes I do get scared at night. I just worry because about a year ago at about 4:30 in the morning my dog who sleeps in the house started going crazy. She never does that. When I couldn't calm her down I decided to look outside and there was someone out there. Justin was home and he got up and went outside to run the person off. If I would have been by myself I would have freaked out. So I worry that the person is going to come back sometimes. At least I have my dog and I know some of you are probably not gun advocates, but I also have a gun.

[Jenn060306]

When we move to the house i am planning on getting myself a nice baseball bat for the nights i am on my own. I have never lived on my own in a house before. Anyone who came to the building where we are now had to get through security doors which have a camera on them so i can see who is buzzing on TV. Soon anyone can come to the door which i am not so sure about yet.

[Hayz]

sorry didn't mean to double post - only wanted to edit and add a bit more.

[Hayz]

With Evan in the Army he tends to be away a bit. Tonight he is away and he was only told about it today so it was totally unexpected.
With finishing work at 2.30pm it makes my evening seem very long. I normally fill in time by going on the net. I actually spend most of my time on this site catching up all on all the posts from the day. Other than that I play with Keira, and watch TV.

I've kinda just got used to it when he was away for 5 months last year. It still gets to me at times though.

If you need a cry then have a cry - don't just bottle it up, that doesn't help at all. Generally I can feel a bit better after a good cry.

[darkangel090260]

yep mine is working from 7pm to 7am this week and hoping he gose back to his normal 10pm-7am.
mine is easy when he is at work i can get thing arround the house done unless I have something to do the next day. Pretty much i am up all night and sleep with him all day.

[ikkin510]

It's nice to know I'm not the only one that deals with this issue. Lacey, it is a little bit of a security and a little bit of a loneliness issue. It's funny cause the days he is here when I go to bed, I am fine being alone. Most likely because I have no problem falling asleep then. But when he isn't here, I just can't fall asleep at night and every sound bothers me. That is part of the reason why I am looking forward to getting a dog. I am lonely too. I will spend a lot of time cleaning and playing on the internet. Unfortunatly, most of my girlfriends are not from around here. So I don't get to see them much. Most of my friends here are guys. I will go out with them some nights. I guess it's mostly just that I can't seem to sleep when he is working. IDK.

[LaceyinPgh]

With the loneliness, that is just osmething that you have to get used to. If your friends don't like in that area, the only thing you can do is go out make new ones. Didn't you mention taking a cooking class in a another thread? Try doing something like that.

As for security, it has never been an issue with me. Make sure you are comfortable in your neighborhood. I feel very comfortable walking the dogs at night by myself. (My dogs by the way are 20 pound Scottish Terriers, they aren't guard dogs.) If it makes you feel safer, install an alarm system in your house. I think that is where my security comes in from. It wired to a center here in town that alert the police, fire, ect. should it go off. If you can't install one right now, they make little sensors that you can attach to your door. If they are jarred, the go off, loudly. Also, the dog will help. Like I said, Ruffles and Ellie aren't very big but they are loud if they think they here something. (Which is usually a cat or a drunk frat kid walking up the street on a Friday night.)

[cowboysbride]

I know how you feel. Eric works 2nd shift 315P-1115P, he and I don't live together so I don't get to see him at night when he gets home and since I work 8-5 I'm at work when he's getting up and still at work when he's going to work. We see eachother on Saturdays and Sundays (which is why you NEVER see me in here then). He did however start a "tradition", if you will, he comes and gets me for lunch at 1P every Thursday (THAT'S TODAY!!!:bbmrgreen: ) and so it kinda gives me a mid point in the week...

When we get married next month and we move into our temporary home he will still be on seconds but at least most of the night he will be by my side and of an evening I will have time to get things done. I'm used to it now, but before the engagement and wedding planning I used to cry alot so I think I was insecure (thanks Lacey that was an excellent point). I spend a TON of time around his family at church and working the farm (our cows and horses are on his dads farm).

He was offered a day shift (we've been expecting that to happen for over a year now) but they told him he would have to travel to Canada for 2 wks and then be home for 2 days and turn right around and go back.......he turned it down becasue of me and him moving and the wedding so we just have to sit and wait for the morons at his job to let go of that idiotic "lean management" ideaology and put another welding mechanic on days!

[darkangel090260]

if any of you are up late at night and need to BS i am on yahoo as Darkangel090260

[hummingbird521]

while i am one of the lucky ones my husband doesn't work nights at all. we both have day jobs. but before moving in together i had said something to him about missing him and being lonely and having a hard time sleeping while he was away from me. he surprised me one night when he had been at my house for the weekend. when i got ready to go to bed that night (alone) i layed down and grabbed my extra pillow and pulled it close to me. i smelled his cologne. i thought i was dreaming. i know it might sound corny, but the next day he told me he had sprayed his cologne on it to see if it helped me to sleep any better. well, it did. i slept better than i had every slept on the nights he was not with me. i thought this was rather sweet of him to do as well. you might try it and see how it works for you.

[cowboysbride]

while i am one of the lucky ones my husband doesn't work nights at all. we both have day jobs. but before moving in together i had said something to him about missing him and being lonely and having a hard time sleeping while he was away from me. he surprised me one night when he had been at my house for the weekend. when i got ready to go to bed that night (alone) i layed down and grabbed my extra pillow and pulled it close to me. i smelled his cologne. i thought i was dreaming. i know it might sound corny, but the next day he told me he had sprayed his cologne on it to see if it helped me to sleep any better. well, it did. i slept better than i had every slept on the nights he was not with me. i thought this was rather sweet of him to do as well. you might try it and see how it works for you.

Eric sprayed one of his tshirts in his cologne and gave it to me for Valentine's Day last year....It's one of my favorite shirts to sleep in and I have since then purchased a small bottle of his cologne that I refresh the shirt with! How about that, so cool! I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who can sleep better "smelling" him!

[AngelinLove]

I am lucky, because I don't have that problem. I was out-of-town last year for about five weeks for a training, and would come home for the weekends, but I didn't really have trouble sleeping. He would usually come stay with me one night, cause it was only about 1 1/2 hours away, but the othe rnights I really didn't have a problem. I am an insomniac, so when I can't sleep, I just can't sleep, but when I can sleep...I can really sleep...LOl!! I am sorry for you ladies that have trouble sleeping without your men though. I am sure that it is very hard and that you miss them very much.