Why am I depressed????

[CindySue]

My married life is great. Ive got a wonderful husband. Except for the broken arm thing, the kids are doing good. The AG's office is finally going to do something about my ex not paying his child support. The only problem Im having is the inability to resume any sort of routine. While yes this is driving me nuts, would it have me on the verge of tears for 2 days now? Am I having a late bout of PMS? I cant stand this. Right at this moment, I feel like the slightest thing is just going to push me over the edge and Im going to bawl like a baby. Im not usually like this, so thats why Im so bothered with it. Could it be the after affects of all the wedding stuff?
Any advice?

[WhiskeyGirl]

Could it be after wedding depression? I know I suffered from a bout of this after the wedding was done because I worked so hard for that day and bam it was done. I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave to help make you feel better, I hate to hear that you feel this way. Maybe it is just PMS, who knows, but if it doesn't get better soon maybe you should see a doctor....or maybe you are pregnant?? :bbeek: I know you said no way before, but is there a possibility?? Hope you are feeling better Hun!! Take care and take it one breath at a time, everything will be alright!! :)

[shawnsgirl]

Hey Cindy... Sorry to hear about this rough time you're going thru right now. I'm no doctor but I do know a little bit about depression considering I have had my bouts with it too. I can't tell you what the roots of these feelings are from..It could be change, depression, or simply the change from the excitement of planning your wedding to not planning anything at all. However, one thing to be forwarned is that change can trigger depression. I would suggest talking to your husband and letting him know how you feel, or perhaps seeing your family doctor. I was marred once before in a JP's office and afterwards I felt horrible. #1 I felt like I threw away the idea of having the wedding I always dreamed of and #2 I had this odd feeling of "oh my god I'm married now...What's left?"...Later to find out I was suffering from depression. If you truely have depression these feeling will last more than a week, more than a month. If you continue to have these feeling I would suggest talking to a doctor. Until then talk with that new hubby of yours, take some special time out for you for atleast 30 minutes a day and see if you feel any better. In the meantime, if you need to talk you know we're here too! Keep me updated.

[CindySue]

No...Im not pregnant. My "friend" is just now leaving. Im thinking it may be from the wedding. I worked so hard and now I wondering what Im supposed to be doing. We talked about taking a break and not really doing anything for a few weeks, but apparently Im having a problem with that. Its hard switching from over-drive to low gear.

[WhiskeyGirl]

No...Im not pregnant. My "friend" is just now leaving. Im thinking it may be from the wedding. I worked so hard and now I wondering what Im supposed to be doing. We talked about taking a break and not really doing anything for a few weeks, but apparently Im having a problem with that. Its hard switching from over-drive to low gear.

It always is hard to switch from the fifth gear done to first! In car you'd hear the grinding gears and the car would be lurching like mad! You'd probably take out the transmission or clutch if you did that...so if nots easy for a car to go from fifth to first, why should it be for you?? lol. (I know bad annology!! :) ) It is so hard after the wedding to just get your life back to normal sometimes. I just took it day by day and tried to keep myself as busy as I could. I was lucky because my BF told me she was going to get married in January, so I kicked it back into wedding gear again, then she called off the engagement and by that time life was back to normal so it wasn't so bad! I mean I feel for her, but I had my life back! Maybe a hobby could help you feel "useful" and keep you occupied type thing. Or a camping trip this weekend to take your mind off of things??

[Kacie_bride]

It seems that it is just the post wedding blues. You've been looking forward to it for so long and now it's gone and you're like okay, what's next. I agree with Shawna about finding a new hobby or something. But beware, if it doesn't go away soon, you may need to see your doctor.

[MOB Karen]

I'm sorry, Cindy, I hate depression. In my opinion, I think it has a lot to do with the wedding. I got kind of depressed after I had my babies, because you anticipate the date for so long, then it's over and there is nothing left to plan or look forward to. Maybe it's the same for a wedding, there is so much planning to do waiting for your big day to come, and when it's over, it's over. That may make some people sad. But I agree with Shawna, if it doesn't go away soon, you may want to see a doctor.

[CindySue]

Later to find out I was suffering from depression. If you truely have depression these feeling will last more than a week, more than a month.
Yeah, Im have my bouts with it too. Could usually pin point the trigger. I think it has a lot to do with trying to shift out of planning mode. It doesnt just taper off. One day youre planning a wedding and then the next day, well youre married. Im going to discuss it with Brian, although he knows a little about it already.
Thanks

[CindySue]

Now see? Yall make me feel better already!!! Brian agrees that its the "weddings over, now what?" syndrome. He says the fact that I worked so hard on it and it didnt go exactly as planned probably factors in too.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Yeah, Im have my bouts with it too. Could usually pin point the trigger. I think it has a lot to do with trying to shift out of planning mode. It doesnt just taper off. One day youre planning a wedding and then the next day, well youre married. Im going to discuss it with Brian, although he knows a little about it already.
Thanks

Thats a really good idea Cindy! Brian will be more then willing to help you I am sure!! I hope your feeling better soon! :)

[countrygirl]

Hey CIndy, sorry to hear taht you are depressed. I hope the you start feeling better soon.;)

[CindySue]

Hey CIndy, sorry to hear taht you are depressed. I hope the you start feeling better soon.;)
Thanks Heather. Im sure most of it has to do with it only being 2 weeks since the wedding. I am no where near close to having things back to normal. I guess I need to follow some of my own advice and make a list of everything i need to do and then "schedule" it. Maybe then I wont be so overwhelmed.

[countrygirl]

Thanks Heather. Im sure most of it has to do with it only being 2 weeks since the wedding. I am no where near close to having things back to normal. I guess I need to follow some of my own advice and make a list of everything i need to do and then "schedule" it. Maybe then I wont be so overwhelmed.

Just out of curiosity, but could it also be the fact that the big day you were plannig for is over, and now there is nothing 'planning' that is going on?? Does that make sense??

[CindySue]

Just out of curiosity, but could it also be the fact that the big day you were plannig for is over, and now there is nothing 'planning' that is going on?? Does that make sense??
Heather I believe thats pretty much what it is.

[countrygirl]

Heather I believe thats pretty much what it is.

Obviously, I haven't gotten to that point yet, but I can see that becoming an issue for me. I hope that you feel better.

Hey, maybe if you give yourself another project, maybe something around the house to fix up, or create, maybe that will help bring you out of this. Just a thought.

[WebLady]

Quote:
Originally Posted by countrygirl
Just out of curiosity, but could it also be the fact that the big day you were plannig for is over, and now there is nothing 'planning' that is going on?? Does that make sense??

Heather I believe thats pretty much what it is.

Yeah that is what I was gonna suggest too. Glad to talked to Brian about it ... sometimes just talking about your feelings can help you resolve them. I am sure you will be back to normal in no time. Just take it one day at a time and try not to worry.

LOL, well have you got your Thank You cards out yet?! ;)

[Jenn060306]

Hey Cindy.... Sorry you're not feeling so peachy these days. It's good that you have talked to Brian about how you are feeling. If these feelings presist please go talk to youre Dr. about them. They can give you some suggestions on getting through this transition period.
Take Care.

[Valmai]

The fact that ur probably mentally exhausted after the wedding wouldnt help either - even when we think we are 'fine' our bodies eventually tell us time to close down so even though we keep thinking of things we should do, we then also think 'nah i will do that another day' maybe this is whats happening to you? We kinda forget what its like to have free time to do things or even to think after we have had a heavy few months. Hope your soon feeling more your self, take care
Valmai xxx

[usahgrad]

Cindy, I'm in the same spot. I wish I had things to do, outside of the things I should be doing, but I don't and it makes me sad. :( I know now why married couples used to start trying for babies right after the wedding...it gave the poor bride something to do! I miss having flowers to put together or shopping for little details or working on little signs or things for the invitations. Ya, I've got the after wedding blues too...

[Kacie_bride]

I get down sometimes too for no apparent reason. Or sometimes I'll get really emotional. For instance, today I was driving and a funeral procession came by. I pulled over and all of the sudden I almost started crying because I felt sorry for the person who died. I don't even know who it was! I know that's weird. I had to laugh about it later.

I hope you are feeling better soon!

[usahgrad]

Kacie, before the wedding, the slightest thing would get me balling. Now it's just like I'm lost...I have nothing to do. Or rather, nothing that I really want to do and I don't have the energy to push myself to do the stuff I don't want to do but needs to get done. Jason's talking about getting me one of the games he plays so we can play together (we kind of like to do this...i.e. it's how we met). I'm worried about the money, but I'm kind of excited to have something to do!

Oh, and I get to plan my best friend's bachelorette party! YAY!

[Kacie_bride]

I am just an emotional person. I have been that way forever. When I was a little girl I was not allowed to watch the news because I would cry when I heard bad things. Lol. Now I can watch the news without crying!

[WhiskeyGirl]

I hate it but its true. When the wedding is over and done with, a person usually feels REALLY lost and gets what I like to call the "after wedding blues". Friends of ours warned us about it and I thought they were nuts but its true. While you are happy to be married to your one and only, its kinda sad that all that planning and money for one day and its over. I found it easier to talk with Matthew and we worked through it together. And lucky for me, my BF told me she was getting married in January, so I hit wedding mode again. Then she called off the engagement but by that time I was in the process of packing so that we could move into our new house. It was hard to get myself to do much else. (I was excited about moving because we were living in at the time an old "mousey" house and there were bugs crawling across the floor all the time!) Ya'll will get through it and it will be fine, I think it just takes a month or two!! Take care Ladies!

[LaceyinPgh]

Anyone who wants something to do, come to my house. The whole place needs, cleaned, the gifts need put away. I have a ton of thank you cards to write. You name it, it probably needs done. As usual I am the od done out. I am so happy that I don't have to do or think about anything wedding related anymore, I could just burst. Tomorrow Sean and I are purging the house of anything wedding related!

[Hayz]

Anyone who wants something to do, come to my house. The whole place needs, cleaned, the gifts need put away. I have a ton of thank you cards to write. You name it, it probably needs done. As usual I am the odd one out. I am so happy that I don't have to do or think about anything wedding related anymore, I could just burst. Tomorrow Sean and I are purging the house of anything wedding related!

Well I'm in Lacey's 'Odd One Out Club'. I'm happy that its over and we are now married. I haven't felt down or anything since the wedding. I'm just looking forward it the next stage in our lives.
I'm also looking forward to going to my cousins wedding next month. I have no idea what her plans are so I'm looking forward to seeing what she has organised for her day.

[shawnsgirl]

Well I'm in Lacey's 'Odd One Out Club'. I'm happy that its over and we are now married. I haven't felt down or anything since the wedding. I'm just looking forward it the next stage in our lives.
I'm also looking forward to going to my cousins wedding next month. I have no idea what her plans are so I'm looking forward to seeing what she has organised for her day.

Congrats on you big days!!! I have a long wait yet and I'm pretty well off as far as having just about everything in line. My thing is, is that I can't wait..I would love nothing more than to have our wedding tomorrow and start the rest of our lives together..I'm really excited about our wedding but I just want to be husband and wife now that's all..If I look through one more magazine I think I may get ill!

[Kacie_bride]

Congrats on you big days!!! I have a long wait yet and I'm pretty well off as far as having just about everything in line. My thing is, is that I can't wait..I would love nothing more than to have our wedding tomorrow and start the rest of our lives together..I'm really excited about our wedding but I just want to be husband and wife now that's all..If I look through one more magazine I think I may get ill!

I know how you feel. Sometimes I get to thinking about the wedding and I get so excited that I can't even concentrate on what I'm doing. Maybe I'm a little ADD, I don't know. Sorry to say this, but my grades are slipping because of my wedding. (They aren't going down that bad though and maybe it also has to do with the fact that I have a major case of senioritis.) Another funny thing is I am not really that excited about graduation. I don't care about the whole walking across the stage. I'm just doing it for my parent's sake. I'm not even sending out more than 10 invitations for that. I should be major excited because I have been in college for 6 years (on and off) now. I'm excited about soon not ever having to go back to that school anymore.

[CindySue]

Thanks yall. Im feeling a lot better now. Brian and i talked about it and we think its because I had so much going on. My son broke his arm, we were worried about my oldest having to repeat the 7th grade, I had to go to court with my ex......etc. I had a lot of strssful things going on. While I do miss planning the wedding, but I am glad its over and we can start working on REAL LIFE stuff!!!

[brewsells]

I'm glad you are feeling better, Cindy. Sorry I wasn't around this weekend to help out. I miss alot on the weekends.

[CindySue]

I'm glad you are feeling better, Cindy. Sorry I wasn't around this weekend to help out. I miss alot on the weekends.
Me too. With our computer acting stupid at home, the only time I really get to post is while Im at work. :bbredface:

[WhiskeyGirl]

Glad to hear you're feeling better! Stress does wonders to the way you feel!! My body reacts so badly to stress...my hair starts falling out! YUCK!! (and no I'm not bald...not yet! lol) Hope things keep going this way for ya Honey!! Take care!

[AngelinLove]

Hey Cindy, just wanted to say that I am happy that you are feeling better. I too know what stress can do. Unfortunately when I am stressed out I eat. That's not good when you are trying to lose weight. Anyways I am happy to hear things are going better!!!

[CindySue]

Well it sure was fun trying to quit smoking during all this too. :bbeek: Needless to say, it didnt work!!!:bbredface:

[Kacie_bride]

I'm glad you are feeling better Cindy!

[Jenn060306]

I'm glad you're feeling better now Cindy.

Kacie i found my grades slipped as well with planning the wedding. I came up with a 78% average this past semester. Between the wedding and the strike and having a complete anxiety meltdown its understandable. But its alot to handle.

I'm still in the stage of.... 'Wow.... i am actually married now. Holy ****!' It hasn't completely set in for me a i think. I'm hoping i won't get the after wedding blues. I'm thinkin i might be too busy to even have time for it. But who knows. I am glad its done, that it turned out so well and that i can have a nap soon.

[AngelinLove]

I want a nap too Jenn!!!

[CindySue]

If we stayed busy with the house, it probably wouldnt have bothered me so much. We went from staying contantly busy, to doing pretty much nothing and that was hard for me. We are now planning out our next redecorating project and Im excited! Come to find out, this idle time bothers Brian too!!