Eloping

[Katie-ryn]

Anyone else just have the urge to say screw this to the wedding planning and just elope?

My and FH's 5 year anniversary is coming up, and I would love to just go to the courthouse and elope, then just take our families out for supper. It would be sooooo much easier. Except I don't even have enough money for even that right now, and I want to make sure my important family members can be there.

I just think of how much I'm going to be paying for the wedding (that's even after cutting corners) and I think of everything that money could be used for *cough*studentloans*cough*.

I realize this could be in the bridal chat, but I"m not actually considering eloping, I'm just thinking alot about finances and stuff lately.

[NurseLau84]

YES! We were wedding planning and dishing out money left and right for months. Then....got sick of it....realized it was a huge waste of money (for us) and decided to buy a house instead, then "elope." We saved a ton of $.
We did a DW with a few family members. It was so much fun.

[Katie-ryn]

I just think it's horrible. I'm already thinking of a smallish backyard BBQ wedding and even that is too much for me!

[NurseLau84]

Just do what you can, ya know? And if you have to wait a bit, then so be it. People get so caught up in the wedding, when the marriage/relationship is the most important thing. Go with what you can afford, and if that means saving up to elope and take your family out to dinner, then that's great!! All that matters is that you'll be married and happy.

[Kfancii]

We intended to get married in April of 2009 and started out planning a wedding in one of the local parks and no sooner had we told people we were getting married did the headaches start. Everyone had their ideas about what our wedding should be, and who we needed to invite, etc. We were going on vacation in Gatlinburg, TN in May of this year, and just decided to elope while we were there. We had an intimate ceremony with just my DH, Me and the Preachers, then came back to Texas and hosted a cookout reception for all of our friends and family. It was great and practically stress free! I would certainly recommend it!

[WBandMe]

Haha, I whine to FH almost every day, "Can't we just go to the courthouse and skip all this?" but in truth, I don't want to do that. I would be happy with a DW but there are people we really want to have there like his grandpa and my grandma (who both got married on our wedding date, grandma in 1943 and his grandparents in 1944), who can't travel, so we dropped that idea. I have student loans too and we'd like to save for a house, so we're keeping our budget low. After the wedding we'll still be able to pay half my loans immediately and have a decent chunk of money in the bank, so I kind of feel like we're compromising. I know we could be spending way more on this wedding and then it would REALLY hurt to dish out those checks, you know? This is my one wedding (let's hope!) and I want it to be something special. I just wish the industry wasn't such a money-sucker!

[Fishlips]

You know all my friends that have been married and are younger around my age, say that if they could do it all over again they would just go off and get married with them and maybe 1 or 2 close friends or family. They said it's kind of a waste of money and adds un-needed stress. Looking at the vastness of the whole shenanigans I can see why they would say that...but on the flip side, I don't want to miss out on this. I wasn't the kind of 5 y/o that dreamed of my wedding, but I can't wait to walk to my fiance on our wedding day.

[BarceloMayaPalaceBride]

We actually did our "eloping" 2 days ago on December 1st and then went to dinner with the family!!! It was GREAT! We are having a small destination wedding with 16 people in Mexico on January 7th! We are saving a ton of $, AND everyone gets a vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[futurefuchsy]

Haha, I whine to FH almost every day, "Can't we just go to the courthouse and skip all this?" but in truth, I don't want to do that. I would be happy with a DW but there are people we really want to have there like his grandpa and my grandma (who both got married on our wedding date, grandma in 1943 and his grandparents in 1944), who can't travel, so we dropped that idea. I have student loans too and we'd like to save for a house, so we're keeping our budget low. After the wedding we'll still be able to pay half my loans immediately and have a decent chunk of money in the bank, so I kind of feel like we're compromising. I know we could be spending way more on this wedding and then it would REALLY hurt to dish out those checks, you know? This is my one wedding (let's hope!) and I want it to be something special. I just wish the industry wasn't such a money-sucker!

I always said that I was going to have a DW,but I reallywant my and FH grandparents there also,they would be devastated.Glad im not the only one that says this,was going good until the guest list started. That is my only problem and I hate it cause it is making me crabby,which is not me!!

[gwenshack]

You know, from the beginning I have wanted to elope - a DW was the compromise.

I'd still elope if FH said jump.

[Katie-ryn]

I always said that I was going to have a DW,but I reallywant my and FH grandparents there also,they would be devastated.Glad im not the only one that says this,was going good until the guest list started. That is my only problem and I hate it cause it is making me crabby,which is not me!!

That's me to. I refuse to have a DW. I want my grandparents to be able to get there, and I want the important people to be able to afford to get there.

[Moon.Dust.]

I think it -and suggest it- at least once a month.

[Ginger]

We did consider, and we did elope. No regrets at all. In fact, I love that it made MIL cry. Does that make me evil? oh, well.

[caligal85]

I think about eloping daily. I'm dying to be FH's wife. Even if we elope now, though, it'd still be months before we could live together, so we might as well wait.

[SoonToBeMrsBrown]

Anyone else just have the urge to say screw this to the wedding planning and just elope?

Haha, if I had a quarter for everytime my FH and I said that while talking about wedding plans we wouldn't have to because our dream wedding would be paid for!

[TwoPeasinAPod]

We're seriously thinking about it. Weddings are a waste of money! I can't imagine paying more than $100 for a dress I'm only going to wear once. Don't get me started with the cost of everything else. My FH and I don't have a lot of money. Actually I don't have any money, just a TON of student loans. My parents don't have much money and work very hard for what they do have. I wouldn't let them pay if they offered.

So we are thinking about just having deli sandwiches in a backyard with family.

[sandy03]

I REALLY wanted to elope, maybe just take our parents and my brother and be done with it. Unfortunately, FH really wanted a traditional wedding (not for him necessarily, but to alleviate the terror that would reign down from his grandmother if we did!)

When we started thinking about "well, we'll invite the immediate family" (aka who comes to christmas every year) and the list got up to almost 75 immediately so we decided that defeated the purpose and we would just suck it up and do a traditional wedding. Our guest list is now at 325!

I think in the end I'll be glad for the traditional wedding, but at the moment I really wonder!

[SoonToBeMrsBrown]

Weddings are a waste of money!

I've thought of at least a million different ways our money could be better spent... putting a sizable down-payment on a home, paying off his truck, starting a college fund for our kids... and you know, the wedding is really just a party, the marriage is what matters most. But at the end of the day I feel like I'll regret it if I don't get my day as a princess and wear the white dress and have all eyes on me etc. etc.

But when I think about it, I can't imagine that our families would be too disappointed if we gathered up parents siblings and grandparents, went to the courthouse, and then went out to eat together. His parents and my grandparents got married REAL quick because they had babies on the way (my dad and FH, go figure. haha), and my parents got married on short notice too, not because my mom was expecting, but because in small-town southern America in the 50s you couldn't buy a house in both of your names unless you were married. My mom's maiden and married names are the same (it's a really common last name), so their realtor assumed they were married for quite some time. My mom happened to call my dad her fiance in front of the realtor one day and when he realized they weren't married he said that they couldn't jointly buy a home until they were. So that week they got married in my aunt's living room with just parents, siblings, and pastor there.

[neebelung]

Anyone else just have the urge to say screw this to the wedding planning and just elope?


Yes, I did, and yes, we did.

Not quite a year into the planning process, I just got fed up with it all, so we went to Vegas. It wasn't quite an elopement, as it was planned and we told people ahead of time, but it was on OUR terms, where WE wanted, and if anyone wanted to join us, they were free to do so.

Didn't have to bother with vendors, seating charts or dance lessons. Had a gorgeous wedding and had a blast!

[TwoPeasinAPod]

I've thought of at least a million different ways our money could be better spent... putting a sizable down-payment on a home, paying off his truck, starting a college fund for our kids... and you know, the wedding is really just a party, the marriage is what matters most. But at the end of the day I feel like I'll regret it if I don't get my day as a princess and wear the white dress and have all eyes on me etc. etc.



That is how I feel. I just wish everything was cheaper. I'm just going to have a very simple wedding and do without many extras. Many brides here seem to have a $5,000 budget so that's what I'm aiming for.

[SoonToBeMrsBrown]

That is how I feel. I just wish everything was cheaper. I'm just going to have a very simple wedding and do without many extras. Many brides here seem to have a $5,000 budget so that's what I'm aiming for.


$5000 is about what we're aiming for. With FH's family doing all the cooking, doing the favors ourselves, having friends DJ and take pictures, and my family making cupcakes it shouldn't be to hard to stay below the budget. my two splurges will be my dress and the favors (personalized M&Ms), but if you shop at Costco or BJs and have friends or family cook for you, you can easily feed 200 people for less than $500.