What made me cry (sorry long!)

[WhiskeyGirl]

Some of you have asked what made me so upset today. To fill those of you who care in, (lol) today I had my vaccination for Rubella (German measels, mumps and one other thing I can't remember). When you are trying to concieve your doctor should check your immunity for this, before giving you the go ahead. So here we are having tried for a year and eight months and finally a doctor says to me "hey are you immune to Rubella??" And I was like what the hell is rubella? They explained and said, ok we'll go ahead and test for this. (A simple blood freakin test!!) Well I have no idea why my GP never tested me instead they refer us to a Fertility clinic and tell us good luck. The clinic puts me on Clomid to get me ovulating properly and says "Good luck, we'll see where we are in Five months!" Then they do this test and out of the blue they call me and tell me I am not immune to Rubella. Ok fine, I can handle that, I'll get the shot and we'll prevent pregnancy for what THEY recommend "A month". So I go into the health center today and the nurse is (what I felt) grilling me about things. (She was really nice about it though!!!To be honest) "Oh you aren't immune for this? Why not? Oh you must have been pregnant and now you are here for the shot." I calmly told her no, that we are trying and that I wasn't aware but I know I need this done. Then she tells me, Oh well I will give it to you but you MUST prevent PREGNANCY for THREE MONTHS!! As soon as she said this, it was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears. I asked her why the Fertility clinic told me one, she said she'd double check, goes out and comes back in in five minutes and tells me, yeah its three months. So I sit there, stunned, computing in my mind that if we have to wait another three months we will be one month shy of having been trying for two years. I got the shot and walked out into the waiting room dazed. Sat there for 15 minutes (as instructed in case of allergic reaction) with my DH whispering about what I had been told in the room. Well my Dh had to go to school today so he dropped me off at home and here I am all alone with my thoughts. All could think about was what a freakin failure I am. The one thing that my body is supposed to do and I can't do it properly. All my life I've been told that I am a failure and the one thing that I thought I could do on my own and I have to ask for help!!! And the help that I get is half assed and pissing me off!! I just cried and cried and cried. Then a friend of mine comes on MSN and starts telling me about how she is going to get married and when they have their baby....blah blah blah...I cried EVEN harder!

Sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a sea of everything. I'm drowning and instead of people helping me up, they step on my head and push me back under! I am stressed, confused and upset. I don't get it much anymore! I'm so FRUSTRATED!!

So anyhow, my Dh called on his way home from school and we had a talk about where we think life is going and why we think this is happening this way. we are both strong believers in fate, but we also believe in God. The best we could come up with is that God doesn't think we are ready and that the time isn't right. I'm still frustrated and upset and hurt by what some people have said to me in the past about my not getting pregnant but I'm learning more and more to just let it go or let them know what they said hurt me. I called the fertility clinic and left a message for them to call me back! I will get to the bottom of this and I won't waste three more rounds of Clomid and its not good to be on clomid for so long. It actually can make getting pregnant harder the longer you are on it because it dries up cervical mucus (gross I know!! lol but true) and you need that to get pregnant. God knows that fertiltiy meds aren't the cheapest. (Though clomid isn't TOO bad...about ten bucks a pill!! I wish health insurance covered these things! They cover VIAGRA after all!! Blech!! Thats stupid!) The clock is ticking for me, I want to get my fertility issues figured out before I get any older and my fertility declines! (it begins to go downhill at 27 and if I'm already having problems what will it be like then??)

Anyhow, thats my day, it really sucked but I'm doing better tonight. Matt and I had a day together....we did some retail therapy but DIDN"T BUY anything!! lol How does that work?? I think i was just happy to be with the one I love!! Thanks for caring Brandi and Jenn and of course Cindy, because she already knew all about this! lol I appreciate you all!! take care and thanks for reading. God knows its long enough!! :wink:

[rainbowtreat]

Shawna, I knew a little of what you were going through. But I didn't realize how drastic it has become. I pray and hope that your day will come soon to be a mom. You deserve it. I know it will happen. I wish I was closer to you, we could have a girls day. All of us actualy. I have been there with a freind where you are. I saw and heard everything she went through. She has an amazing doctor, he is my OBGYN as well. I wish you were here and he could help you. He is the only one I would recomend to any one. Keep you chin up, hard I know. But all we can do is pray and wait. And we are here to do that with you. Please keep us posted on anything you hear. We are here for you.

[Kacie_bride]

I'm sorry Shawna. I know 3 months can seem like an eternity, especially when you have been trying for so long, but it'll pass. Have you not had this shot before? I think the last time I got any vaccinations was 8 years ago or so. I think the shots is for measels, mumps, and ruebella (which like you said is German measels).

I wish you all the luck in the world in 3 more months. I hope it works out for you and you get your baby.

[Jopet]

Oh I am so sorry you had a bad day :bbcry:. But trust me when I tell you I know what you are going though, H2B and I have been trying for 2 years and have done to clomid thing also, we are currently no preventing but we are not on any meds either. Like you I feel like a failure because..gunna go deep here..I was in a car accident when I was younger I was the only one that survived but was orphaned and lost my only sister from it (not after sympathy, my grandparents raised me and I was very spolit by my aunts and uncle who I call my sisters and brother) But the one thing I always held onto was the thought that I would one day have my own family runnig around and I would love them so much, now knowing that there is a possibilty of that not happening I too feel like a big failure... I mean this is one thing that I always knew I would be good at (being a mum), and I know how much Jeff loves kids so the thought of never being able to give him one breaks my heart.
OK sorry this wasn''t meant to be all about me but I just wanted to let you know I know what you are going through and you are not alone! If you ever want to chat I have messenger feel free to add me alleyg29@hotmail.com. :)

I hope the 3 months goes fast for you and that you will be pg in no time. Gooluck.

[WebLady]

First off, you're not a failure! Whomever told you that is a sad, sad person. Don't take this the wrong way, but weather or not you have a child isn't going to make or break you as a success or failure ... KWIM? People used to tell me I would never become anything and that just made me what to prove them wrong. People used to push me to get married and have children and be the 'normal' housewife, well that is not me and that doesn't make me a failure as a woman or any less of a person.

I too believe in fate and in God, like you said, maybe the time isn't right for you to have a baby right now. If it is meant to be, it will happen for you when the time it right.

Though I have never experienced infertility (or fertility for that matter) I do know what it is like to want something so badly but you can't seem to get it.

For what it is worth, I will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers. I know everything will work out for you one way or another.

Glad to hear you are feeling better now though. Take care :hug:

[WhiskeyGirl]

Gwen, Thank you for being so sweet! I agree, if we were all closer a girls day out would be part of what I need. Thank you for keeping us in your prayers!

Kacie, When having tried for so long, three months seems like an eternity. Its worse because it pushes us closer to the two year mark. Thank you for your thoughts! I don't know why I am not immune to this, I've had all my other vaccinations to date...don't know why this one isn't!!

Naomi, You are such a sweet and kind hearted person! I am so very sorry you lost your family so many years ago. My heart goes out to you! I wish you and Jeff the very best in the future! We must stick together to keep on going! Good luck! thank you as well for your kind thoughts and I'll be sure to email you if I need anything!

Brandi, I agree, but listening to them telling me all these years it is hard not to believe it! One day I will prove them all wrong and then they kiss my butt! lol Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers, maybe if enough people get together, God may hear, and our prayers will be answered.

Thank you so much everyone. I don't know if its the fertility meds or what it is, I've been so emotional lately! I really appreciate y'all! I have never had friend quite like y'all! THANKS!!

[ikkin510]

Shawna, I'm so sorry you keep getting these road blocks thrown up in front of you. And as others have said, you are NOT a failure! I wish you all the best. You are a wonderful woman, and I am so happy to know you and be able to call you a friend. I wish you the best of luck over the next 3 months. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, and hopefully the 3 months will fly by and not long after there will be a baby on the way. Again, I'm sorry and I wish you the best. If you ever need to talk, I'd be more then happy to listen.
Nikki

[AngelinLove]

I just now read about what you are going through and just wanted to offer my thoughts and prayers. I have never actually tried to concieve, but have always had a feeling/fear that when I do it will be very difficult for me. I don't know why I feel this way, probably just knowing my own body, but I do...and the thought terrifies me, because I really want to have children. I truly hope that everything works out for you and that after you get through with the "waiting period" you and Matt will be blessed.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Nikki, Thank you! What you have said means a lot to me! I have to be honest and say that all these years it was my parents and brother telling me what a failure I am. How great is that? And the funny thing is I love them still and try and think that they never meaned it. Maybe they were trying to push me to great things and get me to go to Universaty or College because no one out of the four of us did. If that was the case, they failed miserably and deeply hurt me. I will work on letting this go for some time I think. When we first told my family we were having problems, my parents barely acknowledged things and when I told my mom the costs of all these treatments she asked where we were going to come up with the money. I was hoping she would offer to give us a little financial support seeing as she buys things for my neice and nephew left right and center. So I'm sure a few hundred bucks here and there for some treatments wouldn't be too uncalled for. (especially because she has said she wants more grandkids!!) Unfortunately she said nothing and I told her we would probably remortgage our home if we need to! All she said was "be careful". Thanks mom! But I would sell my kidney to have a baby, I would sell my family Especially because they are so not supportive! Every time I see my SIL she asks in this whiney voice "So ARE YOU PREGNANT YET??" Yeah I don't get my family. Anywho, thanks again Nikki!! I am glad to call the majority of y'all my friends too!! (except for the ones who post like once and never come back! lol) :wink:

Angel, I truly hope you will never experience infertility! I pray that all works out for you, it is so hard! I want to wish you good luck!! Thank you for your kind words also. They mean so much to me when I feel like the world is turning their back and believe a lot of days it feels that way! Sometimes people don't understand the magnitude of infertility unless it has affected them, but luckly I have stumbled upon a great group of women who understand and listen and that to me is worth millions of dollars! Not a lot of people care to hear it, they just want to ignore these types of things. (For some reason it makes them feel uncomfortable! Don't ask me why, seems kinda dumb if you ask me.) Thank you again!! :)

[Kacie_bride]

Hey Shawna! I hope you are feeling better today. I just wanted to know...I'm not trying to be insensitive or anything, but have you looked into the adoption process? I have a cousin who is adopted and his parents got all of the joys of raising a child from him and he is nothing less than family. And like so many others, not long after they adopted him, my aunt found out she was pregnant!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Kacie

I have looked into it but having only just started the journey with the clinic (the doctors took a while to take us seriously and refer us to the clinic and then the wait to get into the clinic was quite a while. We have been with the clinic for about three months or so.)we won't be moving to adoption until all our options have failed. Besides in Canada you must be at least 25, that puts us out of the running for another two years. And not to sound nasty but contrary to most popular beliefs lots of women do not suddenly fall pregnant because they adopted. (this is like an urban myth or Old Wives Tale really. I know A LOT of women who have adopted and they NEVER will or have gotten pregnant.) What I have is a medical condition that is not allowing me to ovulate properly. For me I also want to be able to experience pregnancy and child birth, however I know that if it doesn't work out (and most likely even if it does) we will adopt at least one or two children. We both want a larger family to raise on our farm and to give many children a wonderful and happy life! Adoption is an option but because of age and money, we will start where we are now. (Adoption can cost up to $50,000 (possibly more) and most run between $20,000-$50,000. $20,000 is enough to do one Invetro fertilization procedure and a one or two IUIs. (Interuterine inseminations.) For now we will keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best. Thank you for thinking of us Kacie!! Take care.

[Jenn060306]

Hey Shawna,
I'm sorry i ddn't get a chance to respond to you post sooner. I feel so terrible about everything that is happening. I can imagine how much it hurts you and Matt. I know i would be devistated if i were to have the troubles you have been experiencing. My eyes are welling up thinking about how much this has been hurting you and knowing that there is another road block for you guys. It's really not fair. You are such a wonderful and loving person. I know you would make an amazing mother!
Take care of yourself! Hopefully the next 3 months will go by quickly for you! Huggs hun! Send me a message if you need to talk. I'm here for ya.

[Hayz]

Oh Shawna,

I hate that you are going through this. Sometimes life just isn't fair. We are planning on starting to try for a baby later on this year and I will be absolutely gutted if it takes awhile for me to get preggie, so I can understand how you are feeling.
We haven't even started trying yet and I'm already fretting that it'll take awhile or I miscarry. These are 2 of my worst fears.
I really do hope that everything works out for you. I guess we just have to remember we are still young (I'm not quite a year older than you) and at least we have that to fall back on. It would be a different story if we were in our 30's. At least we still have a bit of time ahead of us.

Good luck with everything.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Jenn

Thanks so much for thinking of us! Its been a rough past few days but I think more and more I am coming to grips with it. However today I was walking past our spare bedroom and it hit me how badly I wish it were decorated and waiting for a baby. I already have some cute Winnie the Pooh and Tigger pictures hanging on the wall. That room is like my heart, empty. It hurts again today, but I'm hoping for the best and hope to find out it is indeed a month to wait and no longer! Thank you for your kind and reasuring words, some days I wonder if I am any of the things that you say because I can get so jealous of women who just happen to get pregnant. I am constantly fighting the inner fertility monster. I know a girl who just got pregnant, she didn't want to, and now I want to hate her but know that that is so unreasonable of me! I know a lot of Infertile women who fight with this every day! I believe it will happen, and I hope to God it will be soon! :) I'm hoping if it is 3 months, that the time will fly by and we'll be just fine!! Thanks again.

Hayley,
I also hate that I am going through this and completely agree that sometimes life isn't fair, but I just have to remember that at least there is hope! If there isn't much else, there is at least that!! :) Unfortunately I don't think anyone can really understand how it is until they've experienced it but I do appreciate your kindness! It is amazing how just reading yours and everyone elses posts have helped me pick myself up, more and more every day. I believe that you have all been brought into my life to help me fight and surge forward in my hardships! Thank you!!

Again thanks to all I really appreciate it!! :)

[CindySue]

Shawna I do hope you are feeling better. Im sorry things have been so hard for you. As hard as it may be, try to use these 3 months youre stuck with and use them to the absolute fullest. Make a list of the things you and Matt would like to do and try to do as many of them as possibe. Trust me, enjoy this alone time with your husband. As soon as the babies start coming (and they WILL!) alone time will be pretty much non-existant. And just think of all the wonderful stories you will have to tell your children!!!
You STAY in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Thanks Cindy!! You are right. We are going to take this time for us and get back to the way things were before. You wouldn't believe how much infertility affects every aspect of your life, especially your life in the bed room!! Trying every month and focusing on that really takes the fun out of things! (lol...TMI I'm sure!) I think we'll use this time to get back to each other and remember why we want this. We spent the day today driving around talking like we used to and went to Home Depot to buy a lawn mower, even though we don't have a lawn just yet. In this town, in a week or two all the mowers will be bought up and we'll have to drive four hours to buy one! We decided to save ourselves the hassle. Lol!! I'm still hoping for it to only be a month, I still have my fingers and toes crossed!! Thanks so much for the support Cindy, it means loads to me, there are a lot of people who would rather look the other way and pretend like it isn't happening! But you girls, you are the BEST!!!

[LaceyinPgh]

Shawna, I wish I could offer you some heart felt advice. But I have no idea the personal hell that you are going through right now. I do know that I am so sorry that you and your husband have to face something like this. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe the baby that is destined to be yours just needs a couple more months before they are ready to come to you. I do know that one of my good friends was at fertility specialists for 5 years before she has her first daughter and an additional 2 years before their second daughter was concieved. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. I'll just send some warm thoughts and wishes your way. All my best dear heart.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Lacey,

Thank you! You are right, this is a personal hell I would not wish upon anyone! I hope you are right, I hope that the baby that is meant to be ours is just needing more time before they can come to us! I keep my fingers crossed every day. I hate how when ever I feel so sick I think "Am I pregnant?" or if my period is a day late, I look for every little sign that might mean I could be pregnant. I'm driving myself nuts. Well for the next one to three months, I won't have to do that to myself and maybe that second or forth month I might be suprised to find out....God I hope!! Thanks again Lacey and get back to enjoying that wonderful honey moon!!

[Kacie_bride]

I know it's been awhile since I last posted, but yes I know the adoption process can be expensive. There can also be a long wait for an infant. It just does not seem fair that some people who are addicted to drugs and care nothing about having a baby just get pregnant at the drop of a dime and some others who truely want and can care for a baby have trouble.

I understand about you feeling that way toward the girl who got pregnant and didn't want to. I think it is a natural feeling.

I do wish you all the luck in the world!!!! It is good that you guys are starting to try for a family young because you have time! If all else failes you can try to adopt later. Just remember, you are not a failure. A woman's success is not measured by her ability to reproduce. You are a wonderful woman and you will have your family one way or another!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Kacie,

I feel the same way! I was really preturbed when I saw a 15 year old with a pregnant belly! I get upset when I see pregnant women smoking! I get upset when I see Mother's ignoring, screaming or hitting their children! These things just drive me absolutely nuts! And like you said, the people who are addicted to drugs and can get pregnant at the drop of a hat...so frustrating. I also agree that it is good that we are starting early. We kind of figured we would have problems because my DH had to have surgery to fix some problems he had but we never thought it would come down to this. It really has been hard and Matt is out of the woods with his problems and now I'm starting on mine.

[Jopet]

Hi, Just wanted to pop on share this with you... I just received a text message who has been trying for a baby for over 8 years, she is now pregnant!! So it can happen, I guess we just have to wait for our turn.
This was there first IVF and it worked! I love hearing stories like this as I it makes me realise that is WILL happen. I know that you don't know these people but I just wanted to let you know that they have been through alot and now they finally have what they have been waiting for. So oneday what we are going through will pay off.

[WhiskeyGirl]

That is fantastic Naomi!! My sil has now had two IVFs and both have failed! I feel terriable for her but I know there is hope! Thats all we CAN have right!! That is wonderful!

[Jenn060306]

Jenn
Thanks so much for thinking of us! Its been a rough past few days but I think more and more I am coming to grips with it. However today I was walking past our spare bedroom and it hit me how badly I wish it were decorated and waiting for a baby. I already have some cute Winnie the Pooh and Tigger pictures hanging on the wall. That room is like my heart, empty. It hurts again today, but I'm hoping for the best and hope to find out it is indeed a month to wait and no longer! Thank you for your kind and reasuring words, some days I wonder if I am any of the things that you say because I can get so jealous of women who just happen to get pregnant. I am constantly fighting the inner fertility monster. I know a girl who just got pregnant, she didn't want to, and now I want to hate her but know that that is so unreasonable of me! I know a lot of Infertile women who fight with this every day! I believe it will happen, and I hope to God it will be soon! :) I'm hoping if it is 3 months, that the time will fly by and we'll be just fine!! Thanks again.


Shawna, you really are wonderful! You are allowed to be jealous of someone who is pregnant. You are human. We are raised to believe having childeren is the biggest part of our lives and when you can't do that its scarey and sad and heartbreking.
I have a difficult time with girls who get pregnant and don't even care about the baby and the challenges a baby will bring. Mark's step sister had a baby just after she turned 20. She is a miserable person who shouldn't have been blessed with such a precious gift IMO. She hasn't even introduced her son to his grandfather and he's one and a half now.
My mother had alot of difficulties conceving after she had me and looked into adopting but was told she was too old (at 32) She may have been a little older, but they were a good stable family with a good income and could definatly support a child. It breaks my heart when i see a young girl with a baby and is struggling to feed the baby and doesen't really care when i know their are women who are trying so hard to concieve and have a family.

I was thinking.... i'm not sure what kind of hobbies you have. But maybe you could take one up, or take some classes to keep you mind busy and off thinking about the baby until you can try again. Horse back riding, or dancing, or cake decorating.
Take Care hun.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Shawna, you really are wonderful! You are allowed to be jealous of someone who is pregnant. You are human. We are raised to believe having childeren is the biggest part of our lives and when you can't do that its scarey and sad and heartbreking.
I have a difficult time with girls who get pregnant and don't even care about the baby and the challenges a baby will bring. Mark's step sister had a baby just after she turned 20. She is a miserable person who shouldn't have been blessed with such a precious gift IMO. She hasn't even introduced her son to his grandfather and he's one and a half now.
My mother had alot of difficulties conceving after she had me and looked into adopting but was told she was too old (at 32) She may have been a little older, but they were a good stable family with a good income and could definatly support a child. It breaks my heart when i see a young girl with a baby and is struggling to feed the baby and doesen't really care when i know their are women who are trying so hard to concieve and have a family.

I was thinking.... i'm not sure what kind of hobbies you have. But maybe you could take one up, or take some classes to keep you mind busy and off thinking about the baby until you can try again. Horse back riding, or dancing, or cake decorating.
Take Care hun.

Thanks Jenn! I've been thinking the same things. I'm not sure what there is to do in this City though! lol. I really even hate going out grocery shopping because the people here are so OUT there! lol. I'm going to do some research and see what I can come up with. The things I might do would probably make most people go "WHAT?? :bbeek: " lol... I'm thinking I will sign up with a Class one driving course (to drive semis! lol) or at least get my air brakes ticket. I'll need both of these soon I think. But then maybe I'll try an art course too...I love art!! Its my thing! lol.

I know all too well about people having babies who don't deserve them! Its so frustrating but unfortunately they will always be able to have babies, there is nothing we can do! lol. I wish there was, but there isn't! It sucks! lol

Thanks gain!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Well Ladies! I finally got the call from the fertility clinic! We have gotten the go ahead to continure trying next month! This is a huge weight off my shoulders! I want to thank all of you who have voiced your support. Lets hope that next month is the charm!!! :)

[Hayz]

Thats excellent Shawn. I really hope it happens for you soon, but if it doesn't then just remember to have lots of fun trying. ;)

[WhiskeyGirl]

Thats excellent Shawn. I really hope it happens for you soon, but if it doesn't then just remember to have lots of fun trying. ;)

Oh I'm sure we will!! :wink: Thanks!! :)

PS its ShawnA I've noticed you left the a at the end off a few times! lol

[Hayz]

Oh I'm sure we will!! :wink: Thanks!! :)

PS its ShawnA I've noticed you left the a at the end off a few times! lol

I am so sorry Shawna - sometimes my fingers get away from me and I don't always see my typing mistakes. :)

[Valmai]

I think everything has been said already so i will just send u a huge Welsh hug instead (they are very special yah know!) and let you know my thoughts and wishes are with you. Just think of all that love uve saved up for when ur child comes along!
Take care
Valmai xxx

[MOB Karen]

Good luck, Shawna, and have fun trying for your little bundles of joy!!! http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_66.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm824YYUS)

[WhiskeyGirl]

Valmai, THank you for the welsh hug, I've never had one before! :wink: lol. My thoughts are with you on the extra love to give, maybe thats why the dog thing hasn't worked out for us either lately....lol. Thanks again

Thanks Karen. Everyone's support means so much to me, you all can't begin to know just how much!! I've gone from no support from ANYONE (including my family) to having the support of my wonderful extended family!! Thanks EVERYONE!!! :)

[LaceyinPgh]

Well Ladies! I finally got the call from the fertility clinic! We have gotten the go ahead to continure trying next month! This is a huge weight off my shoulders! I want to thank all of you who have voiced your support. Lets hope that next month is the charm!!! :)

Congratulations! Have fun trying. I hope that Matt is willing to accept his mission!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Congratulations! Have fun trying. I hope that Matt is willing to accept his mission!

Lol..I know we've been talking about how to take the focus less off the whole baby making thing and putting it back on the two of us. Its been hard because you really get stuck in a rut when things just don't work. Hopefully the month off will help us out in the long run!!

[AngelinLove]

Good luck focusing on each other for the next month...and good luck next month when you can start trying again!!

[ikkin510]

Shawna,
Yay!! I am so glad you don't have to play the waiting game again! If you ever need to talk, give me a shout!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Angel, Thank you!! :)

Nikki! I know where to find you! Thanks for everything!! :)

[Kacie_bride]

Good for you Shawna. I hope the next month is the charm. Good luck!!!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Good for you Shawna. I hope the next month is the charm. Good luck!!!

Me too Kacie, me too!! lol. And thanks!! :)

[StaceyMc]

I am thrilled to hear that you only have to wait for a month! Like I told you before, I watched my sister go through the heartbreak and hell of infertility - my heart goes out to you and my thoughts are with you and Matt.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I am thrilled to hear that you only have to wait for a month! Like I told you before, I watched my sister go through the heartbreak and hell of infertility - my heart goes out to you and my thoughts are with you and Matt.

Thanks Stacey! Before we found out we would be travelling down this dark and lonely road, we were watching Matt's brother and his wife struggle with it. They have been struggling for three years now! My heart goes out to my BIL, my SIL is a bit of a witch! She has made my life a living hell ever since we said I DO! (And I have no CLUE why!!!) I hope one day that she will grow up and the two of them will work through their problems before having a baby and then one day they will blessed because of what they've been through! I want to support them both but find it hard when she has made me cry on NUMEROUS occasions and for no apparent reason!

[StaceyMc]

I wanted to add - Matt sounds like a very supportive and wonderful man. He deserves some of our hugs as well. My brother in law was very sweet and supportive with my sister on their "adventure", even though she admits that she knew that she was unbearable at times.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I wanted to add - Matt sounds like a very supportive and wonderful man. He deserves some of our hugs as well. My brother in law was very sweet and supportive with my sister on their "adventure", even though she admits that she knew that she was unbearable at times.

Oh hell yes!! Matthew deserves a freakin medal some days!! lol. I'm most unbearable every month when Aunt Flo shows up AGAIN! Some times I just want to go to bed and not get out for a while. But he takes me by the hand and makes me do something to take my mind off of it. He always says, "not this month but maybe next month! Its not like we can't keep trying!" He's right, I know, but its hard! I'm very lucky to have such a strong, kind, caring and loving man by my side for all of this!! :)