Alone or with Family?

[darlingchatterbox]

My future Husband, Erik, and I haven't set a date yet, mainly because I can't decide what sort of ceremony I would like to have. So far all I have decided is that I want a beautiful dress (well duh!), pretty flowers (another duh), and for it to be outside. I think I have decided on a location for the wedding, at least a general location. At first I was thinking about Hot Springs, but I'm starting to shy away from this idea since it is so many people in this area (Oklahoma) do the weekend wedding escape to Hot Springs or Eureka Springs. So now I am thinking it would be wonderful to get married in Two Harbors, Minnesota, or there abouts. (Erik's parents and grandparents were married in that area, and some of his aunts, uncles, and cousins live in/near Grand Rapids.) I really like this idea because, as mentioned in another thread, it helps cut down the guest list. For those who do attend, most of those coming from Oklahoma, it will be a mini-vacation. Plus there is this really beautiful light house on a cliff that just looks so lovely, I saw a picture of it today and found out that its a possible location. My problem is that I have no idea how a destination wedding works... Part of me says to just "elope" and have the reception later, but then what is the point of a beautiful dress and flowers if no one is going to be there to see it! Perhaps its a little vain, but its my Princess day!!! Everyone is suppose to "oh" and "awe" when they see me, my mom is suppose to cry, and my sister is suppose to hold my flowers when we exchange rings. lol (Its okay, I know, I take the fairy tale, picture perfect wedding scene way to far in some cases.) So, though it may be easier planning it as an "elopement", I've almost completely made up my mind against that idea. Anyway, getting to the point, for the guest that have to travel, about 98% of them, who pays for what? I will suspect most of them will drive, except for a few in Erik's family who are on the wealthier end of the spectrum, so do I need to provide gas cards? Do I pay for the lodging cost? If so, for how many nights? Would it be inappropriate to rent a nudist colony since it would at least help to disguise the fact I couldn't afford a slip, much less a wedding gown, after paying for everyone to arrive? Any help on this would be awesome. I'm going to continue to look around the forums since this might have been discussed already. Thanks a million, in advance.

[darlingchatterbox]

Woah, sorry I didn't know it was going to post as one big blob. I had intended for their to be paragraphs.

I would fix it, so that it's easier to read, but now I can't find the edit button.

In this post I'm using the break html code, hopefully it will work.

[Docsgirl]

I think that for destination weddings, normally the guests pay their own way to get to the ceremony. For accommodations, I'm pretty sure they cover their own rooms also, but you could try to reserve a block of rooms at a hotel and they might discount the rate for you. If you really want to help them out with getting there, the gas cards sound like a thoughtful idea, it just may get pretty expensive for you.

99% of our guests are traveling to get to our wedding. Some only an hour or two, and most are making a few hour flight, but his best man is flying in from Thailand to be there. So we're making sure that we have really nice out of town welcome bags waiting for them in their hotel rooms and a really nice dinner at the reception. We're also going to pay for his best man's accommodations and food, etc the whole time he is there, because his flight is so expensive and we want to show him how much we appreciate him flying all the way back here.

[WebLady]

Woah, sorry I didn't know it was going to post as one big blob. I had intended for their to be paragraphs.

I would fix it, so that it's easier to read, but now I can't find the edit button.

In this post I'm using the break html code, hopefully it will work.
If you go to 'Edit Option' in your UserCP [http://forums.onewed.com/profile.php?do=editoptions] at the bottom you will see "Message Editor Interface" you probably have yours set wrong for your browser. You should be able to just type and hit enter for the spaces and all; try the WYSIWYG option and see if that helps :)

As for your question; it really depends on your family and your situation. Most of the time guests are expected to pay their own way to get to the wedding regardless of where it is. This is one of the reasons OOT guests are often give gift baskets and offered discounted hotel accomodations. Sometimes couples will pay for their parents to come if they can, but others will have to find their own way.

So just send out Save The Dates to give everyone plenty of time to plan; try to find a couple of local hotels that will offer discounts for your event, and put together nice little gift baskets for those that make it out. Not much else you can do. Some people will come, some won't.

:goodluck:

And LOL at the nudist colony comment ;)

[BarceloMayaPalaceBride]

We're getting married in Mexico with 16 people joining us. (Our immediate families and a few close friends) We aren't paying for our guests airfare or hotel but our travel agent/wedding coordinator got everyone a great price at a brand new all inclusive resort and everyone get's a nice vacation to themselves!!! Our DW is costing WAY less than a wedding in Colorado would be. I say, write down the pro's and con's and a list of what's most important to you on your big day. (The dress, the location, family, etc) I know for us, having our close family there was the MOST important for us. We made that decision early on, and Mexico ended up being the perfect fit for us!

[gwenshack]

Hello,

Welcome to the board!

I am having a destination wedding in Las Vegas and we're inviting about 60 people - we're banking on about 40 people or so showing up. As much as we'd love to treat our guests to a weekend in Vegas it's not something we're able to afford, and, fortunately, it's not expected. So you don't have to worry about that. Most hotels do offer a group block discount - I would suggest you look into that so you can give your guests an option.

As for deciding whether or not to even have people there...I guess everyone is different. For me, I would have LOVED to elope, but my mother would have been heartbroken if she wasn't there. But including mom means including all of our family members. And then, after we thought about it, we realized that we love our friends like family so we just went ahead and decided we'd make it a bigger event - if people can afford to come that's awesome, if they can't then we completely understand.

You just have to decide what's right for you. Try to imagine your wedding day and go from there...:)

Good luck!

[RosieAngel]

Typically, guests pay for their travel expenses, but if you do your homework in advance to find the cheapest hotels, airfare, etc., it shouldn't be very expensive for them. Also, I found rooming buddies for single guests so they could double up and save money. It was stressful, but when all was said and done, everyone was happy!