The First Year Hump!

[tha_mrs]

So, as some of you know, I like to read articles and books on having a good marriage ans so on..... I have been reading alot that the first year is the hardest. And it seems that is doesn't matter whether you are together 8 yrs before marriage or 8 mths, all of the readings say the same. So to you ladies on here, how did you get through your first year? Or if you are near the end of your first year of marriage, what are some new things that you learned that you didn't already know?

[SerendipityCrafts]

So, as some of you know, I like to read articles and books on having a good marriage ans so on..... I have been reading alot that the first year is the hardest. And it seems that is doesn't matter whether you are together 8 yrs before marriage or 8 mths, all of the readings say the same. So to you ladies on here, how did you get through your first year? Or if you are near the end of your first year of marriage, what are some new things that you learned that you didn't already know?

With my first marriage, the above couldn't have been more true. Marriage wasn't at all like I thought it would be. I got through the first year by crying a lot. Perhaps I was too young? Perhaps I had made a mistake? Perhaps that was a sign? LOL

Honestly, there wasn't any first year hump when DH & I married. I didn't have any false expectations of what married life meant and I also didn't hope that he would change anything about himself, just because I wished it so. I took it all as it was given to me - and was grateful for him :)

[WebLady]

DH and I have been together for going on 10 years and have been married going on 4 years.

Honestly I don't think our first year was hard at all; we have always gotten along well and been able to communicate and we trust and respect each other all. I suppose this is why we don't seem to have to work at our relationship *shrug*

I always tell people that trust, respect and open communication are big in any lasting relationship. If you don't have these things, there is bound to be trouble.

My 1st marriage was a constant struggle; from the 1st year to the last, mostly for the things mentioned above as we had none of that. I am surprised it lasted 6 years.

[RosieAngel]

While I haven't been married more than a year, I've been living with DH for 5 years now!

The first year of living together wasn't very hard, but there were lifestyle adjustments that needed to be made. The hardest lifestyle changes were in the housework department - dishes pile up twice as fast, laundry gets out of control if you don't do it almost every day, and then there's the constant question of who makes dinner... I think being flexible and having a good sense of humor about stuff is the most important way to adjust. We tried a few different ways of doing things, some of which failed abysmally. But eventually we settled into a way of doing things (whoever works less hours/gets home from work first starts working on the chores - I do all the cooking because DH SUCKS AT IT and I kept choking down his creations and trying not to vomit. :gurn: If I'm sick, DH brings home takeout).

Hope that helps!

[LovingLife]

DH and I have only been married a little over 2 months, but we have lived together for more than 2 years.

Living together just him & I was easy, fun, laid back...but then DS came and it turned chaotic, more laundry, toys, trash, the whole sha-bang. We had just gotten used to it being us and along came a little boy who flipped my world upside down. But i love him more than live itself.

Keep things simple. Appreciate each other. Dont let little things get to you...


AND SMILE :o

[Scrwballsgrl]

Thanks for all your stories ladies, I'm in the same boat as Tha_mrs., all I hear from people at work is bad stuff about marriage so its nice to hear the good points...From the looks of it it seems like a sense of humor will go along way.:)

[LoveHim08]

For DH and I, there really hasn't been a hump at all. We were both 20 when getting married, and didn't live together before marriage. I actually had never lived outside of my parents home before.

It has been great, with some minor mishaps, but nothing that I could or would classify as a "hump," although we still do have 5 months to go!

[KMS]

We are nearing the end of our first married year together and first year living together and it has been as wonderful as I expected it to be. So many of my family members said the same thing - that the first year was going to be rough, but don't give up. :ooh: I honestly don't know what the were talking about though. I've been just as stubborn as always and he is just as forgetful...those things will never change!! :D

[Nekochanpurr]

If anything the 'rough' parts are bringing us closer together.. And thats all financial.. :snide:

[Mrs. Hardnett]

my husband and I first year was little changelling but it brought us closer to gather. Would not change any of our hard times for nothing in the world. Everyones first year experance is always different.

[JJsWifey08]

I cant wait to end our first year but if its like what we are doing now i can see this year going wonderful

[flyerso6]

Our first year will be over in 3 months and I don't think it was much different than any other year that we have been living together (going on 3 years). The first 6 months or year of living together was definitely different, but not bad in any way. There are a few things I wish would change, such as I wish I wasn't the one to always get up in the middle of the night to let the dogs out, but DH always argues that they wake me up and not him which is true. I wish he would do the dishes without me having to ask, but those things aren't terrible things.

[Jacobs_Girl]

Our 1 year anniversary is Feb 16 so we have a few days but it hasnt been hard for us AT ALL!!

We still cant believe we are married lol I love my husband even more and everything is great.

I mean sometimes we get into small fights like where did he put my suitcase and I am not doing nothing until he finds it. lol

But if you think about it both of us work 9 hours full time jobs, we only see each other for a few hours a day until we need to go to bed.

[KristinGriffin]

First year married, we spent abroad in Sydney, Australia and IMOH, it was the best thing for our marriage. We left both IL's and friends back in the States and had to rely on each other as our new "family." While I don't think you have to go around the world for this, I think it's important in your first year to have some space for the two of you. Living away meant that we became much stronger as a couple, and didn't get a lot of interference from the families, which aside from finances is I think the hardest thing about the first year.
One more bit of advice for your first year (or anytime): Always argue naked! :)
All the best,
Kristin

[NOTKT]

I think our first 8 months have been great. :) I can't believe it was 8 months ago, seems like last week!

[tha_mrs]

LOL@ always argue naked! Ha! That is a very short lived argument!

[WebLady]

LOL@ always argue naked! Ha! That is a very short lived argument!
I can just picture a couple arguing while undressing :bblol: