Made her cry...(Long one)!

[cowboysbride]

Well we went to the reception site yesterday and spoke with the caterer...within five minutes the caterer, coordinator and the secretary at the site all noticed how my FMIL was running all over me...they began politely nodding at her but not accepting any decisions until I was happy with them...which was very nice.

As we were leaving (in the parking lot) she asked me if I had noticed how rude they were to her...I told her no, they weren't rude to her but that since my dad was paying for this and since I was the bride that they were "catering" to me...as it should be. Well you would have thought that I had slapped her across the face, her face got all twisted and the next thing I know she had big tears in her eyes...so we had this long conversation and I told her I was sorry that she was crying but ever since he proposed I had felt like everything was being decided around me and that I didn't want to hurt anyones feelings but Eric and I had a vision of our wedding and I was going to see that it was carried through.

She wasn't happy about it but she stopped crying...

I honestly don't think the woman is trying to be mean she just gets carried away and likes to take control and she keeps referring back to "the other wedding"...which was his first and I don't like that...Eric and I are not reliving the past we are moving on and she even brought that up yesterday while talking to the caterer...she told him that this was the 3rd wedding reception she had held there....I was mortified because she said I held my daughter's here and "my son's first wedding reception was here too"....That's when I sent her to the car for a rose (to coordinate the napkins with) and tactfully explained that I would be the contact for all decisions and that I would like to move things along because I needed to return to work...while she was gone we finalized the menu and were walking out the door to see the room and the dance floor choices (we got the black "marble") it is sooo pretty!

I don't understand why she keeps bringing his first marriage up...the WITCH (and that's being nice) cheated on him 4 times, had a baby on the 4th and drug the divorce out for over a year because of the DNA test on the baby an d she fought him (LIED LIED LIED) in court to either get a pay out or the farm.

Anyway I need to vent, sorry so long I just wish his mom would chill out, this is my wedding and I'm a very smart girl and I know what I want.

[MOB Karen]

If you ask me, I would say you have everything completely under control. You handled that situation perfectly. Good job!!

[countrygirl]

Hey girly, I am sorry you are going thru that. I think you handled it very well, especially sending her to the car, and then talking to the caterer. That was probubly a very smart way to do it.

[CindySue]

I have to agree.....you handled everything very nicely. ANd I wouldnt worry so much about the tears.....most women can "cry on demand" and Im sure she thought she could guilt you into doing things HER way.

[cowboysbride]

Hey girly, I am sorry you are going thru that. I think you handled it very well, especially sending her to the car, and then talking to the caterer. That was probubly a very smart way to do it.

Thanks, Your dress is beautiful by the way...I loved seeing your post...I feel we have a special link due to marrying our cowboys!

[countrygirl]

I have to agree.....you handled everything very nicely. ANd I wouldnt worry so much about the tears.....most women can "cry on demand" and Im sure she thought she could guilt you into doing things HER way.

My former MOH was like that. When I 'made her feel bad' for what she did, she would instantly cry, and it became my fault. It's a shame really that some people can't see who the wedding is realy about.

[StaceyMc]

I think you handled that perfectly! She cried on cue, I'm sure. Maybe your FH can talk to her about not bringing up his previous wedding. That would completely p*ss me off as well.

[CindySue]

Maybe your FH can talk to her about not bringing up his previous wedding. That would completely p*ss me off as well.
I agree. It does need to come from him that she needs to stop that. But since it probably WONT stop, just remind yourself that if he was meant to be with her, he would still be with her.
And remember that he (and you) had to go through your pasts exactly the way they happened in order to become the people you are today, and the people you each fell in love with. I do not see my past relationships as a waste of time, they were learning experiences for me.

[countrygirl]

Thanks, Your dress is beautiful by the way...I loved seeing your post...I feel we have a special link due to marrying our cowboys!

I hear ya!! We are pretty lucky, aren't we?? Man, I think I am on a high horse today (no pun intended).

[WebLady]

I agree with the other ladies, you handled it nicely and politely put her in her place. Hopefully she got the hint and won't cause trouble for you guys anymore.

Did you tell your FH about what she had been doing? If not you probably should and if so, what did he say?

I would be p.o'd too!

My own mother likes to bring up the fact that I was married before even to this day and it infuriates me :realmad:

Well good luck with the rest of the planning!

[hummingbird521]

I think you handled that extremely well. Very smart thinking on your part. I too had problems with my own mother bringing up past marriages. Finally I sat her and my sister down (since my FH pushed me) and told them both that my past was my past and I wanted it left that way. It hurt to constantly be reminded of it and made the butt of jokes about some of my choices in life. anyway, they no longer bring it up and life is much better between us all now.

[rainbowtreat]

I agree that you handled it very well. And that you need to tell your FH and have him speak to her.

I have been married before to and it tends to be an issue for some people. My es step dad is still part of my life. I have decided to have my mom give me away because she is the one who has raised me. When he asked her who was giving me away and she told him she was she said he seemed a little mad. And now he is saying he will only be there if his son doesnt have a baseball game that day. His son is supposed to be in the wedding. I told him if I got married ten times he sould be there for every one of them. I know it has to do with that I have been married before.

So I understand where your coming from. People have said to me that I havebeen through it before so it can't be that bad. Or you said the first one was the one. Well I grew up and like Cindy says I have learned from my past. I am who I am because of it and Nicholas loves me for me.

So just keep standing your ground and make sure she understands that this is YOUR wedding not hers. Good luck. I am sure it will all work out.

[LizabethDavis]

I came into this a little late, but I just wanted to say that you handled it very well, but I am sorry that she keeps bringing up his first wife. My FMIL goes out of her way to not EVER bring up any of my FH's ex's. He has never been married, but whenever I look at her wedding pictures, she always makes me skip by the pictures of my FH with his ex...I keep telling her that I don't care..I think it is funny..I mean, she is an EX for a reason...not too mention I get a laugh out of the fact that the ex wore a WHITE ANTIQUE WEDDING DRESS to my FMIL's wedding...WTF? No class.

I digress though, you should probably have your FH talk to your FMIL and ask her to stop bringing up the ex. Good luck!

[CindySue]

My own mother likes to bring up the fact that I was married before even to this day and it infuriates me :realmad:
Mine used to be that way. She didnt do that stuff with Brian.

[cowboysbride]

Thank you all so much!!!!!!!!! Things have gotten much better, Eric and I and her (FMIL) sat down had a talk and now we are moving on...she even hugged me and told me she was sorry, she didn't mean to offend me when she brought up his ex...the girl did some pretty horrible things to him and sometimes you have to talk about things to deal with them, I told her that when she does this I feel like I am being compared or "warned". But we made peace and 4 BM bouquets, most of the centerpieces for the receprtion, all the boutinneares (forgive the spelling), the mother's and attendants corsages and 120 LITTLE BITTY BUBBLE BOTTLES HAVE BEEN LABELED AND TIED WITH RIBBONS!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:bbeek: :censored: :bbmrgreen:

I'll post some pics when I get them off my camera!

Again thanks everyone, I feel much better after I talk to ya'll! :p

[countrygirl]

Hey girly, glad to hear that all is better. I am glad, it's really nice when the FMiL is nice, huh?!?

[cowboysbride]

Hey girly, glad to hear that all is better. I am glad, it's really nice when the FMiL is nice, huh?!?

Nice name girly! Thanks!

[countrygirl]

Thanks!! The other one was too long. And, since I have always been a countrygirl at heart, I guess it fits!!!!!!!