So hurt my fh

[Tatum]

I posted the strip club stag thread and we are getting married this weekend. We had our stag and stagettes a week ago and he went to the strip club and got some lap dances and I can't get the thought of some other girl all over him. Granted I told him to go and I wouldnt care. But it's driving me crazy and I told him I was hurt and he tries to comfort the whole thing but it dosnt work. I cry at least once a day over this uck the thought I just can't get out of my head. i have nothing against strippers at all I'm just so mad it had to me my guy. What do I do you guys, this thing is taking away from all the excitement about my wedding

[Scrwballsgrl]

I dont know what to tell you except to try and get past feeling like you do about this. I know it was disappointing to you and hurt your feelings that he went to the strip club. But just remember it was only a lap dance (now that I've said that I know i'd be pissed and hurt too if Fh went after we'd talked about it and I told him I didn't want him too) but if you told him you didn't mind when you really did...you can't change your mind now. :hug:
I've been to one of those clubs w/ FH and some friends for another friends co-ed bacholor party and they're really not as bad as you think.
Im sorry your having such a hard time with it...

[mitch]

This is probably going to come out wrong. (Kinda lost in translation).
But look at it like this.

It's not like He slept with the Lap Dancer. Most Lap Dance places have a "No Touch" Policy. So He probably never even touched Her. Infact He may have been a bit embarrassed by it. But went along as a kind of Bravado infront of His mates.

I can understand You being upset about this all. I can only imagine what You are going through right now. But You did give Him permission to go. It's not like He sneaked out and went behind Your back.

Try and accept what He is telling You about what went on. Dry those pretty eyes, snuggle up to Your FH. And enjoy Your Wedding Day.

I wish You both luck. After Your Wedding Your FH will have His own private dancer in You. :winktongue:

[BarceloMayaPalaceBride]

Girl, don't EVEN worry about this. It's perfectly natural to feel "jealous" but it's not worth making a big deal over. I'm having my bachelorette party in 1 1/2 weeks and we're taking a limo to strip clubs, dance clubs, and wherever else we can. My hunny is doing the exact same thing the following week. In fact, he didn't really want a bachellore party, and I had to encourage him to go out with his boys and have fun!!! Your man is marrying you, and could care less about some chick that gave him a lap dance. My best advice is just let it go....:)

[BarceloMayaPalaceBride]

BTW, did you go to the stripclub too??

[WebLady]

I would be upset/bothered about my man getting a lap dance too. But we have talked about my feelings on that and he knows that if he was to go to a strip club that is one of my "rules".

But when it comes down to it, you are upset and you and FH should talk about how it makes you feel (and how he would feel if it was you) and get it out. But it should not mean you don't get married or that you hold on to this forever. Unless he cheated or he becomes obsessed with strip clubs and strippers or something, I would try to just move past it.

All the best :hug:

[candars]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I can definitely understand how you are feeling. I agree with the others, though. You did tell him it would be okay, so he went. Guys don't think like us. I know it's hard, but I would work on getting over this. Don't let these thoughts interfere with your wedding at all! He loves you and is marrying you, the girl that gave him the lap dance is just that...just a girl, she doesn't mean anything to him. Just try to remember that he wants to be with you. If you need to chat or vent, I'm here for you...and so are the rest of us.
I have been in a situation where I was kind of going through the same thing and made myself so sick, over what ended up being nothing. Please don't do this to yourself, sweetie! We're here for you if you need anything. :D

[amisteratwisterandme]

I don't mean any disrespect but I have to say this. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

We females tend to think that if our guy "really" loves us he will know how we "really" feel about a situation, and do what we want them to do. Unfortuantely it doesn't work that way. Let this be a lesson that if you are uncomfortable with something, you speak your mind clearly and let him know where you stand. I don't think you have the right to be upset with him.

[Tatum]

I am not upset at him at all. And I did tel him to go. I told him Im not mad I just can't get the image out of my head. Its driving me crazy. I am not upset with fh at all! I love him more than anything. I did tell him to go. I should of thought of it a little more. I didn't think it would bother me as much as it does. You guys are right and I need to not worry. ITS stupid

[amisteratwisterandme]

I am not upset at him at all. And I did tel him to go. I told him Im not mad I just can't get the image out of my head. Its driving me crazy. I am not upset with fh at all! I love him more than anything. I did tell him to go. I should of thought of it a little more. I didn't think it would bother me as much as it does. You guys are right and I need to not worry. ITS stupid

So it is yourself you are upset with? Just use it as a lesson learned to make sure of your feelings before committing to anything. Could it be that there are other stresses that are just coming out with this incident? Your emotions are probably all over the place anyhow, and just are choosing this time to "freak out."

Seriuosly, you can't change anything by looking backward, try to start looking forward towards your lives together, and chalk it up to one of those things that you learn from.

[08chrissy08]

Completely agreed!


I don't mean any disrespect but I have to say this. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

We females tend to think that if our guy "really" loves us he will know how we "really" feel about a situation, and do what we want them to do. Unfortuantely it doesn't work that way. Let this be a lesson that if you are uncomfortable with something, you speak your mind clearly and let him know where you stand. I don't think you have the right to be upset with him

[MOMOFBRIDE]

Forget all of it! Boys do crazy things to grooms and unfortunately the groom usually pays the piper after the boys night is over.

Most guys goal on the stag night is to get the groom drunk or drunk as possible and put him in embarassing situations where he is basically forced to go along with everything the boys plan or feel unmanly. Sounds like a poor excuse! It is! But it's reality.

If your man does not frequent bars, strip joints etc. etc. normally and this is a one off by the guys, just let it be a last boys night memory. Girls in those professions know what the night is all about for the groom and play it pretty hard.

The only thing I'd say you may need to discuss is that in the future the "boys nights out" are not to be of this type of entertainment.

Focus on your big day and good luck!