Second guessing my dress

[fireprincess2009]

I went home this weekend to go dress shopping with my mom and sister this weekend.
It was an extremely long day but finally, after 8 hours, two dress shops and what had to be about 40 dresses, I found my dress. I was all set to post a happy "I found my dress" but now I'm second guessing my choice. I tend to second guess my decisions, buying a new car, taking a new job or position, etc. There were 2 other dresses I liked at the first shop. We took a lunch break and I called my MOH in another state after sending her pictures. I was in tears out of frustration. She said the pictures surprised her because she didn't expect me to go with something so traditional. Then while I was eating, she sent me a text and said the beading on the one was gorgeous. I was just undecided so I decided to sleep on it. As we were leaving, the girl in the shop said, "We have another store and they have different dresses. Maybe you should look there. So we did and that's where I found my dress. I'm worried that at that point in the day, I was just so delirious that I wasn't thinking clearly. Now mind you, I cried when I saw myself in the dress, my sister cried/got chills, my mother said it was the one. But seriously, I can't even remember what the train is like! I can't find a picture of it online anywhere. (The shop said it was a new dress for them so maybe a brand new style?) I was sure at the time and ORDERED it so too late to change my mind unless I end up with 2 dresses.

I know others have felt this way. What did you do? Does it mean the dress I ordered isn't the one? or am I just being silly? I can't believe I'm stressing out this much over a dress for my casual/fun wedding. It's a dress for goodness sake. Get over myself, right?

[WebLady]

I can somewhat understand your feelings; I always try to shop around for things to make sure I have seen it all and am sure to get what I want.

But if you liked it then and already bought it there isn't much you can do about it unless you can guy another one.

I can't imagine that your Mom, sister and friends would stear you in the wrong direction. So I would try not to worry about it at this point.

If you get it back and still don't feel it is right, then I guess you can look at either getting it altered to suit you better or maybe sell it and get another one.

:goodluck:

[sweetvenus]

I think everyone second guesses their dress at some point. It's so easy to remember how much you love it when you are in it, but the details fade when you are away from it. I think if your reaction was that strong, then you will love it when you have it on again.

[candars]

I agree that pretty much everyone second-guesses their dress. I wouldn't worry about it too much. After I bought my dress, I left it at the bridal shop until the day before the wedding. I thought about the dress a lot and wondered the same thing that you are right now. But, every time I would put the dress on, I fell in love with it all over again! I had problems remembering specific details about my dress, too. But, just because you don't remember everything about your dress, that does not mean it's not the one. I think since you all cried and got chills, it probably is the right decision. If you get the dress and still feel the same, I agree that I would see if you can go from there. But, IMHO, it sounds like you made the right decision! :D

[fireprincess2009]

I guess I should just stop worrying about it until it comes in around the holidays and I get to try it on again. I'm sure when it all comes down to it, I'll remember the day and marrying the man I love a lot longer than I'll remember my dress. I have so many other things to do too. Like get in shape. (If I can lose 5lbs or so I will only need it hemmed!) I just had dreams about dresses all last night and I'm hoping that will stop. It would probably also help if I stop looking at the pictures of the other dresses, especially the ones of me in them!

[mitch]

My advice.

Delete the photos of You in the other Dresses.
Concentrate on other aspects of the Wedding Planning. We will help. :winktongue:

Then when Your Dress comes in. Try it on. Shout Woohoo. And fall in love with it all over again. :D

You said Your Mum and Sister think it is "The One". Well they were there and had a 360 degree look of it on You. Your MOH has only seen a small photo. Which i assume was taken on a Phone. Seeing the Dress for real is soooo much better than any Photo.

We haven't seen it yet. But i bet it's Stunning and You look Wonderful wearing it.

[fireprincess2009]

My advice.

Delete the photos of You in the other Dresses.
Concentrate on other aspects of the Wedding Planning. We will help. :winktongue:

Then when Your Dress comes in. Try it on. Shout Woohoo. And fall in love with it all over again. :D

You said Your Mum and Sister think it is "The One". Well they were there and had a 360 degree look of it on You. Your MOH has only seen a small photo. Which i assume was taken on a Phone. Seeing the Dress for real is soooo much better than any Photo.

We haven't seen it yet. But i bet it's Stunning and You look Wonderful wearing it.

Thanks Mitch. I know I'm being silly. Actually, we did get pictures on an actual camera but the ones I sent to my MOH were phone pics.
After I bought and paid in full for my dress (Holy cow, I never mentioned the dress was very reasonable) I called my MOH and she said, "this is the voice I was waiting to hear" I guess she could here my excitement. I sent her a phone picture and she said it was "me" and perfect.

[fireprincess2009]

I'm starting to feel a little better about this (Thanks ladies!) It's still nagging at me a little but perhaps if I stop looking at the others...

[RosieAngel]

Yes, the most important thing you can do is STOP LOOKING at other dresses! It's so hard, I know. Especially when you look at other brides and their shiny dresses! But if you cried in the dress and got chills, it is definitely the one! I would remember that feeling... it's amazing!

[08chrissy08]

Definitely stop looking at the other dresses! You can make yourself insane by doing that, trust me, I know. Been there done that. I think the only reason I finally managed to stop is because the dress I ultimately chose was so radically different from the others, I felt like they just couldn't be compared. Concentrate on the feeling you got when you first saw yourself and felt it was the one. And then think about how you FH is going to feel when he sees you in it. It's the one!

[gwenshack]

Tears are a good thing, right? I'm sure it wasn't just frustration. Everyone there was affected by seeing you in the dress. Try not to stress and feel confident that you bought that dress for a reason.

Maybe you could go visit it again to reassure yourself?!?

Take a deep breath - you're going to be a beautiful bride in the perfect dress. :)

[TonyaP]

I think this is VERY normal. I wish I could say I eased my fears and started to feel better but I kept trying to relax and I would stop thinking about it for a week and it would pop back in my head! I dreamed about it too! I think everyone goes through this and most people relax once they try it back on. I liked my first dress again when I tried it back on but I COULD NOT stop thinking about the other one. So I caved after my FH mentioned things about my dress he didn't like in wedding dresses (he did not and still does not know what the first or second dress is like) I hate to say this and I think I am rare in this case but I feel so much better now that I got the other one and now I don't have any more doubts. I did try on even more too even though other people told me not to and that second one still stuck in my head!! THAT DARN THING! I kept looking at other dresses but now that I have bought this one I have looked through the magazines to find hair ideas and I didn't notice their dresses until it dawned on me that was happening. It felt so different to look at a magazine and not look at every other dress and think what if. I think it is a good sign that you cried. I NEVER had those feelings of any kind with my first dress I just thought it was a pretty dress but the second one moved me. I didn't have full blown tears but I am not someone who cries anyway. I wish I had a different story to tell you but I wanted to be honest with you when you asked what happened to other people that felt this way. This is just my story and I do think I am an exception in this case. You can read what I wrote in the other post but not to find out how I feel now but to read the advice I got from what someone else wrote on another site. I think that advice would have helped me a lot sooner. http://forums.onewed.com/showthread.php?t=20992&page=6 I am sure once you do what she suggested you will know your dress is really the one for you! Best of luck and I really feel for you because I know exactly what you are going through. It is horrible and I couldn't believe I felt that way over a DRESS too. Weddings do silly things to us I guess and you are absolutely correct when you said the most important thing you will look back at is the love you two shared on that day and all the following days. I just could not take the stress anymore and I waited a good month before I decided I couldn't stress over it anymore and finally decided what was best for me. It will work out in the end. Keep us updating on how you are feeling and I am sure I am not speaking only for myself when I say we will be here to listen and help you.

[fireprincess2009]

Keep us updating on how you are feeling and I am sure I am not speaking only for myself when I say we will be here to listen and help you.

Tonya, I was just reading your story (again) about an hour ago. I'm still agonizing. Everyone keeps saying that if I got misty that it must be the one, but I am an emotional person (just didn't think I would be about the dress.) Earlier in the day when I called my MOH, I got upset out of frustration. So I'm not sure what my tears were about. My sister got weepy and had chills. I told my mother I was uncertain the very next morning but she says it's the one.

Last night when I was looking at a bridal magazine while waiting for my prescriptions I think I figured out what I'm agonizing about. I'm stuck between the wedding we're having and my dream. Does that make sense? Everything is about keeping it ultra simple but part of me wants what every girl wants, the fairy tale. I've been waiting a long time for this wedding (11 years!) The dress is nice but I'm just not sure it feels like a wedding dress. I have pictures but I'm afraid to post them...

[fireprincess2009]

I forgot this part of the story...after the first store when I called my MOH in tears of frustration, she told me she really liked another dress I had tried a couple weeks prior. It's more than I wanted to spend on a dress and it was discontinued on 10/15 so it can't be ordered anymore. Of course the one they have fits me perfectly except it needs to be shortened. My MOH suggested that I call that shop to see if it was still there and if not, then at least that dress would be out of my mind. I called and it was still there. The woman asked if I wanted to come in again and try it on and I said yes. While she was getting her appointment book, the call was cut off. I took that as a sign. Tonight she called back. She assumed we had been cut off because I told her I was calling from Vermont. She asked if I still wanted to see the dress. I told her yes! What the heck a I doing. I explained the whole situation to her (Poor thing - I apoligized for dumpin on her) I would go back and try on the dress I bought but the shop is in VT where my parents live. It's 3+ hours away...

What a I doing to myself???

[TonyaP]

The dress is nice but I'm just not sure it feels like a wedding dress. I have pictures but I'm afraid to post them... On this comment I bought my first dress because it looked like what I THOUGHT a wedding dress should look like. I love to dress up and wanted the fairytale but the fairytale dress in my head, the one I first bought, was not MY wedding dress.

Don't worry about it not looking like what you THINK a dress should look like. Worry about if you LOVE LOVE LOVE yourself in it. I liked myself A LOT in my first dress but did not LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I felt so much more comfortable and like myself when I was wearing the other one. I think that is why it was a hard choice too. I think it confused me because it did make me feel like me, just plain old me, and not a fairytale which I THOUGHT a wedding dress was SUPPOSED to feel like. It was plain old me though but that is okay! I had the idea that when I put on this magical dress it would transform me into something different and I would feel extra special. I looked pretty and could SEE myself wearing it that day. I didn't feel different or more special in the second dress I just felt emotional that I could see myself facing my FH wearing this dress. I thought when I put on a wedding dress I should feel like a fairytale. The sad part was I looked like one (NO DOUBT!) but I did not feel like myself in the dress. I felt like the idea of what I thought I should look like.

It is so hard to explain because no one knows what you are supposed to feel like! I think I was wrapped up in a image that I wanted to present myself as on that day but when it came down to it that fairytale dress did not look and feel as comfortable on me as the second dress and the first dress didn't make me feel any more special either just more fancy and it fit my definition of what I THOUGHT it should look like.

I took that as a sign. - On this part, I kept looking for signs too! I kept saying well if I find it on Craig's list etc. then it will be a sign. The only sign I ever really had was the dress that kept popping up in my thoughts making me stay up to three in the morning and caused me to have recurring dreams.

I say go try it on again. Do what your gut tells you. You told her would because deep down you want to and I would too to ease my worried mind. If you go and try it on and like the one you have now better you will know. Just don't let an idea that has been pushed in our face since we were little about what a wedding dress should look like cloud your thoughts. Wear what you like and you look great in. I let those images that have been pushed on us make my first decision about what dress to buy. I wish I would have just looked at them as which dress would I wear to a VERY VERY fancy special place, one that I could wear jewels on a dress, if I wanted to do so, (not a wedding), just another fancy event and THEN I would have known. I hope this helps a little. Oh and please post pics. you know we love them. Why are you afraid to post them? Sorry this is so long. I know how confusing this is.

P.S. Where do you live? I used to live in NH but moved to FL 5 years ago.

[gwenshack]

Don't be afraid to post pics. We'll be nice, I swear!

[fireprincess2009]

P.S. Where do you live? I used to live in NH but moved to FL 5 years ago.

I live in near Albany, NY and my parents and sister live in NY too but right on the Canadian/VT/NY borders. My aunt & uncle used to live in Nashua, NH so I've spent some time there. We were shopping in VT because it's so close to my parents and there is a shop that has been there for years and the people are really nice. In addition to trying on the dress I found here in Albany, I think I'm going to try to find the dress I bought. Maybe if I can try it on again (instead of waiting until February when it comes in) I can put my fears to rest.

I discussed all of this in length with my FH last night. He told me that the only thing I CAN NOT do is have 2 dresses on our wedding day trying to decide which one I'm going to walk down the aisle in. I woke up at 4am this morning and could not get dresses off my mind! I'll post pics in a min.

[fireprincess2009]

Don't worry about it not looking like what you THINK a dress should look like. Worry about if you LOVE LOVE LOVE yourself in it. I liked myself A LOT in my first dress but did not LOVE LOVE LOVE it..

With regards to what I think a wedding dress should be...the dress I bought and several that I've tried on are on the casual side - more of the destination type dresses. I'm short so too much dress would be overwhelming. I know I want something light and not huge. I want something I can dance in that doesn't weigh 20 lbs BUT I also want it to be stunning. Our wedding will be in the late afternoon/evening outside (hopefully) in July which could go either way temperature wise in NY. I was drawn to a lot of Nicole Miller dresses when I initially started looking but no where around here has them. I also liked some of the J.Crew styles (who knew they had wedding dresses???) but they only sell them online and I'm not shaped like a model so ordering without trying would be risky.

[fireprincess2009]

Here is the dress I bought...
http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d36d8ce/1/74/CMjEzSmlvj8B8KR-xpX7kW17W6YxPfti.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/emN3H9Uc5z-5z5vLIM60WU4zW5rc1Bhh?referrer=hlnk)

http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d36d8f2/1/22/inp9M1A35j9hl3cAqs4sTsI8KjW0m-Gk.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/VAlAMiBC3T8w4FmDQUZZiQYCqfwG5tAo?referrer=hlnk)

[fireprincess2009]

Here is another contender from that day.
http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d36d919/1/23/UJpVPmaK4T_hxY6gV7H4CxKF8X3WcO7-.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/GIVcCXpiuT83QGHRnzFv7ZRtjGqLX0Ji?referrer=hlnk)
http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d36d91b/1/150/YL-64-ruoz_TXwWUb68DJEpaG6ZG9S_2.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/os9bbmoZ2T9lfycjkkBM7rwIHx1eaCLx?referrer=hlnk)
http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d36d91a/1/148/9DfSkagd1z-EFTvI6Nm4Ifrd6yMpanWs.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/JV9yk_vE4D_6zWM2CHS3RiTURgoGxokH?referrer=hlnk)

[fireprincess2009]

And another, don't mind my cranky face...
http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d36dfec/1/108/-ZkKcRC04D8JTgTLe0DHESjkye-D_UvS.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/hoUmlGwU5T8Fm0yrHe8B4yyKCyUzhc5x?referrer=hlnk)
http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d36d8f7/1/162/HJkew1PJxT_Ci1VW9xUj8LDsREaVIvHJ.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/nCq8SkEN1j9IbRQYpRck00AprArkONIa?referrer=hlnk)

[fireprincess2009]

Here is the dress I'm going back to try on. I don't have a picture of me in it.
http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d36e113/1/110/4dvSwLx87T9DOH0c9Z_2rbU6J7iZcuIM.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/wB8pRlw1zz9cvMrZfvWWSNo_nSaDu3-U?referrer=hlnk)
http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d36e116/1/58/iynDMQda4j_lniFFGO4ymiXbSLabs-p3.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/HMDKMpb71z_FlbWmCw7MmH8JjcFgGgth?referrer=hlnk)

[candars]

Which one is the one that you are worried about? The last one? I think all of them are very pretty! The last three are my favorites...

[fireprincess2009]

Which one is the one that you are worried about? The last one? I think all of them are very pretty! The last three are my favorites...
The first one of the 4 is the one I bought! It's weird at the waist because it was a size 4! All the other dresses I tried on were 8 or 10. We tried pulling the first one up a bit at the waist so it wasn't tight at my hips.

[fireprincess2009]

I'm going to try on the pink dress again in 10 min. I'm hot and my stomach is a mess!

[TonyaP]

So what are you thinking now? Please keep us updated!!! I know you will make the right choice. Just go with your heart and wear the one you love.

[fireprincess2009]

I went and tried the pink one on again. I've pretty much decided that the dress I bought is not the dress. sigh. I can't believe I'm feeling this way. I emailed the pictures to a friend who had gone shopping with me previously and without telling her the details asked her what she thought of the 4 dresses. She said they all looked great on me (the 3 that were on me) but that the one I bought was her least favorite...and I quote, "somehow it looks like "madonna meets princess Di"

****!

[TonyaP]

Oh no! So I take it when you tried it back on you didn't like it that much either. I didn't see you in the pink dress so I can't really tell you what I think of it. I like it but it is SO hard to tell what it will look like on different people. As far as which dress best suits you only your family, friends and you will know that because those are the people who know you best. So what is the other one you are thinking you really want? So many of my friends told me NOT to buy the second one but I think they just didn't see the point of me spending more money. Now that I did the truth comes out and they are happy I bought the other one. I am not sure if they are just happy for me, they liked the dress better or both. I am sure it is both of those reasons. All I can do is speak for myself and everyone is different. I always get good gut feelings and sometimes I fight them, When I do fight them I end up regretting not listening to my stomach, which actually gets upset when I am buying something I shouldn't or not buying something I should. I think our subconscious knows better than we do because it is our deep down heart and it is not clouded by all the other things that are running through our heads. Please let us know which one you are thinking about and what you decide.

[fireprincess2009]

Ok, Here is the dress I bought.

http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d36d8ce/1/74/c5ZGzVAa5z8aIrqXGqDGcUCGsU3RbrEC.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/Fce9L4iZ7D8zhEBLoSatHUJ1XxYg4Ld6?referrer=hlnk)

Here is the not so great picture of me in the dress I went back to try on today. Mind you, I had just been crying my eyes out because I realized that not so much this is THE dress, although it very well could be since I can't get it out of my mind, but that the other dress is just WAY more casual than I want. It's a nice dress, I just don't feel like a bride in it. And darn it, I've waited a long time for this...

http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d371d2c/1/175/LNOWn1xRxT9famtxjPE3BX8TGn5E5zaC.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/os77uNzT3D-1j2e-Ztg9ZMM91YS8SyUu?referrer=hlnk)

[EarlyBird]

I am going to be honest, i LOVE the second dress!!!!!! Is there any way that you can call the bridal shop and CANCEL your order and CHANGE it to a different one if your not happy? I dont love the pink one either, but probably b/c i love the second one ;)
The truth is though that SECOND GUESSING YOURSELF IS NORMAL... ask the girls on here how many times i have said im getting a whole different dress!!!! Why dont you visit with your mom again and try back on your dress. i find that when i put mine on, i feel that LOVE all over again :)

[TonyaP]

Okay, I may be stupid but can you please clarify some things for me. The dress you bought isn't pink is it? The one you went to try on today is the one you want, right? Is the second dress, the one you tried on today pink? The second one looks more pink to me. Do you want me to be HONEST with you and tell you what one I really love?

[WebLady]

Ok, Here is the dress I bought.

http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d36d8ce/1/74/c5ZGzVAa5z8aIrqXGqDGcUCGsU3RbrEC.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/Fce9L4iZ7D8zhEBLoSatHUJ1XxYg4Ld6?referrer=hlnk)

Here is the not so great picture of me in the dress I went back to try on today. Mind you, I had just been crying my eyes out because I realized that not so much this is THE dress, although it very well could be since I can't get it out of my mind, but that the other dress is just WAY more casual than I want. It's a nice dress, I just don't feel like a bride in it. And darn it, I've waited a long time for this...

http://widget.slide.com/rdr/1/1/4/S/10000000d371d2c/1/175/LNOWn1xRxT9famtxjPE3BX8TGn5E5zaC.jpg (http://www.slide.com/s/os77uNzT3D-1j2e-Ztg9ZMM91YS8SyUu?referrer=hlnk)
OK, I like the 2nd one better, but the other is nice too.

Can you afford to buy another dress if you can't get out of the one you bought already? Or do you have time to try and sell that one so you can get the one you want?

Good luck!

[fireprincess2009]

Okay, I may be stupid but can you please clarify some things for me. The dress you bought isn't pink is it? The one you went to try on today is the one you want, right? Is the second dress, the one you tried on today pink? The second one looks more pink to me. Do you want me to be HONEST with you and tell you what one I really love?

YES I want you to be honest! Please tell me your thoughts. I'm getting it from all sides here but I know that it's me that has to decide this in the end.

To Clarify, The dress I bought (the first one pictured) is IVORY and has the beaded waist, chiffon shirt and pretty much no train. The one I tried on today is barely pink - it's called blush (the second sort of out of focus picture, the not so great picture after I cried.) I was crying because I realized that the dress I bought is not what I really want and I was frustrated.

[fireprincess2009]

OK, I like the 2nd one better, but the other is nice too.

Can you afford to buy another dress if you can't get out of the one you bought already? Or do you have time to try and sell that one so you can get the one you want?

Good luck!

Can I afford it? Well, although we've set our budget low and it was always our intention to pay for the wedding ourselves. But both of our parents have offered us money. This past weekend, my father told us that they want to pay for the wedding. His words were, "So how do you want to do this? Do you want us to give you some money to start with and then you can let us know when you need more or do you want to just collect all the bills and let us know in the end." He pretty much was saying they are paying for the wedding, end of subject. I'm still against this, but on the dress perhaps some help?

It's too late to cancel the dress, although FH is still working on that but I could try to sell it. I've already decided that in order to feel ok about buying 2 dresses I'll get a second part time job. But the fact that I'm willing to do that, makes me realize how important this is to me.

[TonyaP]

Okay now I know what which one is which. First things first, try not to cry it WILL work out for the best! It is better you think about this now instead of your wedding day. There is always a silver lining and I know we can find it. I really think everything happens for a reason. I keep telling myself someone that couldn't afford my dress at the store but really loves it will get to wear the dress of their dreams (when I sell it to them) :D I LOVE the second one. I wish I could say the first one is the best but that is my honest opinion. I am not going to lie the money kind of hurts for a second but in the end it was so worth it to me. I have my peace of mind and I LOVE my dress now. I could not say that before and DARN IT you DESERVE to LOVE your dress! We all had to kiss some frogs before we found our princes. I try to think of my first dress as a frog I had to kiss before I got my princess (dress) ;). If you do get the other one I found this site that might help you sell the first IF they don't exchange it for you. I would call them ASAP if you know you don't want it and see if you can work something out. The site I am going to put mine on along with Craig's list is http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/ I tried to find BOTH of my dresses on here but sadly no one was selling one. OH, maybe your other dress might be on there if the other store won't let you exchange it. Let us know what happens.

[fireprincess2009]

We all had to kiss some frogs before we found our princes. I try to think of my first dress as a frog I had to kiss before I got my princess (dress) ;).

That made me smile a lot. Ain't it the truth (about the frogs)
Thank you so much for your advice. I know I have to follow my heart. I talked to the shop tonight and it doesn't look good but the manager is calling me back tomorrow. The girl at the shop suggested I wear one for the ceremony & the one I ordered (since it's more casual) for the reception. All I can say is that after all this, I'm wearing my dress the entire day! I definitely sell the first one because I'm not sure what else I'd wear it and as you say, someone else will benefit from my indecision.

[TonyaP]

The thought of wearing both crossed my mind too but I honestly love the second one better so why would I change? I also don't want to have it altered and then I wouldn't have an chance of selling it. I need to try to get some of my money back. No problem with the advice that is what we are all here for and I KNOW I will need some more advice too. LOL - Well it sounds like you know what you want now so after it all settles, give it a day or two, you will start to feel better that you don't have to be constantly haunted by the other dress. Please keep us posted. I know it was a roller coaster of feelings for me and if you are the same we are your shoulder to lean/cry/laugh/smile on just like you all were for me. Now sleep well tonight and no more bad dreams. :D

[gwenshack]

First of all, you're adorable and look great in BOTH dresses.

I'm going to say that I do like the pink one better, only because you asked for honesty! I think you're going to be a star in whatever you choose.

There's nothing wrong with using two dresses! You can have a reception dress and a cermony dress. Or, you can sell the first dress if you so choose. I think you have every right to be completely satsified with your dress (or dresses), and that you should follow your heart.

You can do what Tonya did - you could show your FH a line up of dresses, not telling him which one is which, and have him tell you what he likes...worked for her! :)

[candars]

I like them both a lot, but I think I like the 2nd one better. I'm not really sure why, but there's something about it. They both look great on you, but if you have to choose, I would choose the 2nd. It seems to accentuate your figure better than the first.

[fireprincess2009]

For those of you who have read my dress crisis, you're all aware I bought a dress and am not regretting my choice.
http://forums.onewed.com/showthread.php?t=21647

I just heard back from the shop, and even though I paid in full for the dress, they will refund everything but the required deposit (50%) which is $200. I feel like I can live with that because I'm not sure I could sell the dress for even $200 let alone more. Right?

[Nekochanpurr]

WOW!! thats really good! I'm glad they will refund some of it! Awesome. :D

[southern*belle*]

That's a good deal girl! At least you're able to get most of your money back.

[fireprincess2009]

That's a good deal girl! At least you're able to get most of your money back.
Well really, I was only able to get half of it back. The dress was only $400 total in the first place. It was an expensive mistake but it could have been much worse.

[gwenshack]

Great! I think that seems more than fair. :)

[WebLady]

Glad to hear you are getting at least a partial refund!

[TonyaP]

I was just wondering how you are feeling now about your choice. I hope you are happier because everyone deserves to feel that way about their wedding dress. I am happy you will be able to get some of your money back!:D

[fireprincess2009]

I was just wondering how you are feeling now about your choice. I hope you are happier because everyone deserves to feel that way about their wedding dress. I am happy you will be able to get some of your money back!:D

I'm feeling really good about my decision to cancel the original dress. The minute I did it, I felt a weight lift. I realized that I tend to deny myself things that I think I don't deserve. I thought I'd had enough therapy to get over this, but I guess not :winktongue:

FH said he just wants to make sure that I'm positive of my choice this time and that I'm totally happy with the dress. I decided that with the other dress (the pink one), it was really the only "wedding" dress I had tried on (because the saleswoman said, "Just try this one on...") So to be fair, I'm starting over. Insane, I know but I'm taking my time and feeling so relaxed about it. I'll keep everyone updated. I have an appointment tomorrow!

[TonyaP]

Well I am happy you are feeling better now. I know I do. I am happy you followed your gut! :D I can't wait to see what you pick.

[fireprincess2009]

So last night I went to one of the bridal shops I had been to previously when looking for my original dress. I felt a little silly but explained what had happened and told her I was starting over. I brought some pictures of dresses I've found in the last week that I like. A couple of them they even had for me to try on. I told her to bring me dresses that were different as well - I was up for anything. She even got me in lace - ME! I'm not a lacy girl but this was sparkly lace which sounds gross but was beautiful. I still couldn't get over the lace but I LOVED the sparkle.

In the end, I found 2 dresses I like. One I brought a picture of - Maggie Sottero Dallas Marie which I put on as a whim because it was different from anything else I was looking at. It's really fun and sweet on. The other one I have no idea who makes it (they are pretty good at keeping that from you there) It's more fitted than I thought I could get away with - Sparkly and elegant. I love them both. My friend is going with me again on Saturday to take a look. I have one more appointment I'd like to go to. A really nice shop that carries only Maggie and Casablanca dresses. There are sooo many Maggie styles I like. sigh...

Question: The woman at the store was trying to imply that I was cutting it close with only 8 months, 5 days til my wedding. She was very nice and not overly pushy but I'm sure this was a sales tactic. How long did it take for your dress to come in (if you ordered)?

[TonyaP]

I have five months left until my wedding I just ordered my dress. My dress will be in in two and a half months. It all depends on the designer and the design of your dress. Some designers ship faster than others. If the dress has a lot of detail and it is out of stock- meaning they have to make one from scratch then it would take longer then if they had to make one without as much detail. If they have it in stock it ships really fast. They do slow down in January because most dresses are made in China and it is their New Year. They stop everything, literately, for about a month. The dress shop can call the manufacturer through and they will tell them the exact ship date for when you order it. I think seven to six months is the time frame I would want to look at for buying the dress. I feel like I am pushing mine a little. I think you have at least a good month to look around. Good luck and I can;t wait to see what you pick!

[TonyaP]

I actually looked at that Maggie and loved it but didn't think about getting it because the whole reason I got another dress is because my FH doesn't like the pick ups. I did consider it still because even with the pick ups in the dress it is not puffy like my other one. BTW It bugged me when you said they wouldn't let you know who made the dress. It is illegal. Here are two sites I found that talk about this.

http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/business/textile/bus39.shtm

http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/view.asp?topicID=58402

[fireprincess2009]

Thanks so much for the information. I'll go armed with it tomorrow. :icon_barbar:

In their defense, I didn't specifically ask them who the manufacturer was. The shop actually has a great reputation and a lot of my friends have gotten their dresses there. I just noticed that a lot of the dresses had their labels in them except the 2Be Bridal gowns (I'm wondering if this is because I think they're the only ones in the area that sells that manufacturer) I knew the other was a Maggie dress because I showed her the picture and she said, "I think we have that dress." but it had their tag in it.

[TonyaP]

That is good. I was just trying to help you out. I have heard of shops doing this to make more money but if you know them then there shouldn't be any problem. =) Happy dress hunting and let us know when you find yours.