What to do about jr bridesmaid?

[girlggc]

Okay, my junior bridesmaid, who is 9, is currently going through a phase wear she refuses to wear dresses. So FH, in effort to get her to be in the wedding told her she wouldn't have to wear a dress. Now, I don't want to be a bridezilla, but she's got to wear a dress! I'm hoping that her dad (her parents aren't together) will make her wear the jr bridesmaid dress that I pick out.

Also, that brings me to another issue, how come it's so hard to find a jr bridesmaid dress in the same style as adult bridesmaid dresses? I'd like my wedding party to match! I'm totally not in the camp that lets everyone wear a different style dress. Do you think it'll look funny if my jr bridesmaid is in a different style dress from the bridesmaids? Of course, this will all be a moot point if she refuses to wear the dress.

[luckythirteen05]

i was in a wedding as a jr bridesmaid and the bridesmaids were matching but i had a different dress. she let me pick out whatever i wanted as long as it was the same color and she was ok with it. it looked fine.

i hope she wears a dress... i don't think its "bridezilla" it's just a tradition. maybe tell her its like dress up and after the ceremony & pictures she can change? hopefully you can work out something.

[sandy03]

Some designers are better about matching junior bridesmaids than others, but a lot of it depends on the style of the bridesmaids dress (clearly a nine year old can't wear a strapless dress unless you plan to tape it to her!)

If she refuses to wear a dress, I wouldn't push it too hard unless you want her pouting in all your pictures or having an absolute meltdown hissy fit in the middle of everything. Are there any dressy pants outfits you could find for her? I'm also kind of OCD about everyone and everything matching, but I think there is also a little bit of wiggle room when it comes to kids. Maybe your JR bridesmaid could have a dress or outfit that is closer to what your flower girl is wearing (if you're having one).

At nine years old, she should be old enough to at least tell you why she doesn't like dresses. Maybe she always has to wear tights or panty hose with them and those bother her (they did me when I was her age!) I would suggest talking to her directly about it. There might be a way that the two of you can figure something out that you both could live with. And of course, there's the chance that this phase will pass in time for the wedding. You can always keep your fingers crossed for that!

If there's no happy compromise about the dress, maybe there is another job she could do for the wedding that wouldn't involve a matching dress like handing out programs or being a guestbook attendant.

[sweetvenus]

I agree with everything that sandy said. You still have over 7 months until your wedding; a nine-year-old can change her mind a lot before then. But, if she doesn't, you may need to decide if it's more important to have her stand up as your junior bridesmaid or more important that she wear a dress.

[EarlyBird]

since fh screwed that one up , he should have to be the one to break the bad news :) heheheh seriously though, whose side of the fam is she on? tlak to her dad, see what he has to say. would a skirt suffice for her and you to find a happy medium

[MrsKittyManes]

As long as the colors match on the dresses she won't look out of place if she has a different style of dress. I do agree though that she would stick out if she is the only one not wearing a dress. Maybe if she got to help pick the style of dress with you in a color that matches the others she might be more willing to wear one if she has some input into it

[girlggc]

Here's an update on the situation. I talked to her dad, and he said that he's going to tell her that if she doesn't wear a dress, she can't be in the wedding.

[LovingLife]

I have an 8 year old sister and I got lucky she loooved wearing a dress.

I am sure she will come around to the dress idea. I had a hard time finding a dress that would match too. So i bought one that looked similar to mine. It was adorable! But if you find a similar color that should look good too!

[Kirby]

Alfred Angelo carries junior bridesmaid sizes in all of their bridesmaid styles I believe. I had three junior bridesmaids of various sizes and two needed adult sizes and one needed jr bm size. It worked out well because they all matched.

As for the girl, I'm glad her dad told her that. If she still doesn't want to wear a dress, maybe you could have her pass out programs or bubbles or something so that she still has a part. Nice black pants and a cute top would be fine for those roles I think.

[Voiceofreason]

Here's an update on the situation. I talked to her dad, and he said that he's going to tell her that if she doesn't wear a dress, she can't be in the wedding.Why not sit down with her girl to girl and ask her which part she would rather play. She could play the role of "guest" and wear nice pants of her choosing or she could play the role of "junior bridesmaid" which entails wearing the dress of your choosing. A 9 yr old is capable of making up her own mind. Dealing with a pouty 9 yr old on your wedding day because she is wearing something she doesn't like is the last thing you will need!