Letter in the mail

[brendalin]

So we got a letter in the mail today from 2 of our groomsmans parents.

A little background; two months ago, their oldest son who was not in our wedding, caused a lot of drama when we were camping on our annual camping trip. He caused so much un-necessary drama that DH ended up yelling at him.(which he NEVER does) After all was said and done he apoligized to their son (who is 26) in front of everyone. Then he later talked to his brithers about it (who stood up in our wedding) and appoligized for his behavior. We thought everything was fine. Apparently not!

He also acted like a complete @ss the whole weekend. He was so drunk that he peed in his truck and went to clean it up the next morning and ran into peoples tents and almost on top of them. I think that anyone would be a little upset about him doing these things. he almost feel out of a tree doing un upside down beer bong and DH helped him out of the tree.

To sum up the long letter it said they decided not to attend our wedding because of the way their son was treated and false accusations against him (not sure what the accusations were). He deserved an appology and was not given one and that they were very dissapointed in us. They hope that we have a happy life together.

I guess I am wondering what you guys think they are looking for from us? Josh appoligized publicly (which I think is better then doing it in private), and I didn't do anything wrong..... Or maybe we are in the wrong.... Any thoughts?

[WebLady]

I guess the guys made it out to be more to their parents. I would talk to the friends that were at the wedding and see what they think happened.

Maybe write a letter back and explain what really happened. They may or may not believe you, but at least you would have gotten "your side" out there.

I am sorry you have to deal with this cr@p :hug:

[amisteratwisterandme]

I agree with WebLady about writing back to the parents.

I would say something like, While it is true that DH lost his temper after several attempts to calm your son down, DH also publicly apologized afterwards and does feel bad for what transpired. DH (or we) felt that the alchohol consumption took over and safety was jeopordized. We do regret that you were unable to come to our wedding. Thank you for your letter, and we wish you all the best.

I don't think you should let it go, but I personally wouldn't get nasty with them. Is this guy a good friend of yours? Sounds like he is the one who owes an apology.

[MrsDM]

Hm. IMHO, I wouldn't do anything about it. If they feel they have to write a letter because they feel their 26 year old adult son was mistreated, that is up to them. Josh apologized, and it was over with. I think they were in the wrong bringing themselves into it. Its not like the guys are in elementary school!

Also, your wedding was a once in a lifetime thing. I think it was a bit odd that they held such a grudge against you two, again, considering that you are all adults and you handled it by yourselves.

[EarlyBird]

i WOULD NOT ONLY WRITE THEM BACK BUT I WOULD TALK TO ALL THEIR SONS!!!
i would let them know nicely, exactly what happened and explain that due to the fcat that you are still VERY close with the other two sons you were not aware their were still feelings hurt or you would have UNDOUBTATLY set the record straight and apologized again or spoken with him..

then i would talk to the brothers that were in your wedding and say UMM WTF WAS THAT ??? did you not tell your parents what happened?

[gwenshack]

Yick.

I, personally, wouldn't respond to the letter. If you try to correct them they won't believe you - the parents always believe the kid. It's obvious they were fed a great deal of misinformation and it's apparent the truck-peeing guy was dishonest with them. The brothers are obviously special to you, since they were in your wedding, so maybe you should talk to them and ask them if they could set the parents straight.

[RevMatty]

I'd have to agree with everyone, write them back, and calmly explain what had happen.
The worst thing that may happen is they still hold a grudge aginst you both. But remember who's the bigger adult.

[brendalin]

So it has gotten even more interesting over the weekend.

One of the groomsman (we will call him J) and his gf (we will call her Nat) came over and are now fighting with the other groomsman (we will call him D). Apparently D and his wife are trying to stir the pot and that is why their parents wrote the letter. D's wife and I have had conversations about what had happened and she said in a message she wrote me "what is in the past is in the past and I don't hold grudges". Then what then he11 is she doing right now.

D's wife has been bringing J's gf down a lot over the last few weeks. She made rude commetns about our wedding all day on Saturday. She said our pastor was like Farmer Fred and his gote (sp?) was too long, and that our hay bales were so red neck. She made comments throughout a bunch of our pictures that the set up was stupid. Nat is so fed up with it and was in tears when she was over.

I have had ENOUGH! I can take a lot of sh*t, but when people start to mess with me friends I get really angry.This is our plan of action right now:

We have decided that we will be confronting pee pants boy about all of this. He needs to grow up and take responsibilty for his actions. I will show him that I have written and visual proof of his actions and inform him that he can either tell his parents the truth or we will.

We will also be writing his parents a letter back informing them that thay have recieved so very inarurate information and if they would like to talk to us like adults then we would be more then willing to get together with them.

[brendalin]

I forgot to tell you guys!!!

Pee pants boy was so drunk the next morning that when he left our campsite to go clean himself up he ran over one of our tri-pods, over a swing ball set and INTO someone tent. He put his vehicle into Drive instaed of reverse. Luckly they have big tent and were not sleeping next to one side and they are okay, but he didn't apologize to them!

[RosieAngel]

I would forget about them and do a little happy dance that they are out of your life! With friends like those, who needs enemies?

[brendalin]

I would forget about them and do a little happy dance that they are out of your life! With friends like those, who needs enemies?

No kidding!!! I just got done talking to one of my bms and she thinks that D's wife is just pissed because her wedding did not turn out how she wanted and they do not have good marriage. They are just rrying to ruin our happiness!

Good luck with that!:jphappy: Everyone at work says that I have this glow about me, and my smile is infectious! HAPPY DANCE FOR ME!!!

[Aleta]

Your plan of action sounds good to me. Confront him and be done with it and send what pictures you can to his parents along with the letter.

[Jacobs_Girl]

Sorry your going through this, trust me I know what your going through. Best thing to do is let it go, move far away and change your phone number :hug:

[brendalin]

Sorry your going through this, trust me I know what your going through. Best thing to do is let it go, move far away and change your phone number :hug:

I am thinking after his parents find out what he did this weekend that he will want to move away and change his number!

I feel like I am a kid again, having parents step in when there is a problem. :irked:

[caligal85]

I can't believe that letter! As I was reading your original post, I kept thinking, what could they possibly be upset about. Your husband sounds like an amazing man who had the guts to be the bigger man. I'd be so proud of him and I can't believe these people are that ridiculous. I hope everything gets sorted out.

[amisteratwisterandme]

I think that's an excellent idea. I don't thing for one minute you need to even worry about it. BUT, I do think that the parents should here both sides of the story and make an informed decision. Then, I would let it go. There are so many things in life that should take precedence over this, that it's not worth the hassle to you and DH to take more than a few minutes of your time on this matter.