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View Full Version : I don't know anymore, it's a long one!!!


countrygirl
05-12-2006, 03:16 PM
I think I am going to have to “fire” my MOH.

We have been friends for about 16 years, which she has been known to brag about. When I asked her to be my MOH, she wanted to make all the decisions, and do everything. She started getting upset when I would tell her I wanted to do something a diff way that she suggested, or changed my mind on anything. She even got offended when I couldn’t find something for her mom to be in charge of.

Well, she met a guy about a month and a half ago, and suddenly, didn’t have any more free time. She really wanted to get together w us so we could get to know him. But she didn’t have time for any of it. They decided about 2 weeks ago to get married, it’s like mine doesn’t exist. And apparently neither do we. I cant talk to her about my wedding because it goes right to how much she has to do (FEB is her date) and how broke she is going to be. K, I am supposed to pay for three dresses, and three tuxes for her wedding. She doesn't have the time to talk about my wedding, and is starting to compete w me when I talk do say anything about mine.

I talked to her about the way she was making me feel, and she turned it on me, that she would have expected me of all people to understand how happy she is, and how everything changes when you start seeing someone new. She cried and said that she is trying to make everyone happy, and can't do it, and that she just can't spend all of her time w one person (which tends to be Chris).

Then we had a birthday party planned for Josh last weekend, and she was going to be there. Then, she told me that she wouldn’t be able to make it because there is a party for a friend of her boyfriends that she is invited to. She actually turned around and invited us to that party. I was like “Um, we are having our party for Josh that day, aren’t you coming?” She said she wasn’t sure what time it was at, so prob not. She did end up coming but reminded me the entire time that she needed to leave early for the other one. She spent most of the time at my house talking about HER wedding. That day was about Josh.

When we needed to get together for the BM dresses, I asked her to bring my WD w her, and she actually told me she forgot she even had it. It’s in the middle of her closet!!!!! She couldn’t ever make it, because she had something to do w Chris, or didn’t know if she could make it there by closing time, which was about 2 hours after she got off work, and it’s only about a 45 minute drive w traffic. When she did finally go, I tried to call her that night, since I couldn’t go the same time (kid’s game—got attitude for that one) she didn’t answer her phone, and said she had it on vibrate and never felt it. That girl is always on the phone, and ALWAYS knows when someone calls her.

I finally heard from her the next day and she complained about the price. She said the dress was $250 w alter. I told her the dress was about $150 on three prior occasions, but, told her again, and then told her that there shouldn’t been too many alter. needed since they took her measurements. Unless she gains 50 lbs in the next 5 months, there should be a big change. Also, we can take them anywhere for the alter’s. She said she didn’t know if she could afford the dress, but then told me about the new dress she bought for a wedding in Vegas (left yesterday for five days)that her boyfriend finally decided to inviter her to.

I have been trying to get ahold of her for over a day now to let her know that we are buying the dresses next weekend to get them done in time. But her mom says she is just so busy in Vegas, and prob won't be able to afford the dress. But she can afford 5 days in Vegas??

I don’t want to sound rude, or selfish, but being MOH means that you are going to have to spend some money, which was fine BEFORE she met her man. Now, she can’t afford anything because she is having a bigger wedding “can’t just cut guests” like ME. Whatever!!!! I guess that means she won’t have a party in the back party, or anything else either?? And it’s not about the money w me, it’s the principal of the matter.

Kacie_bride
05-12-2006, 03:33 PM
Yes dear it seems like you need to fire her. What about your sister? Even though there is the distance factor she seems like she would be more willing to help out than your friend. $150 is a pretty standard cost for dresses. She aggreed to do your wedding first before she even MET this new guy, so she should not be complaining about the cost of your wedding getting in the way with her own. Why the hell is she marrying someone she's only known for a month and a half anyway? She sounds like she's lost her marbles to me!

countrygirl
05-12-2006, 03:39 PM
Yes dear it seems like you need to fire her. What about your sister? Even though there is the distance factor she seems like she would be more willing to help out than your friend. $150 is a pretty standard cost for dresses. She aggreed to do your wedding first before she even MET this new guy, so she should not be complaining about the cost of your wedding getting in the way with her own. Why the hell is she marrying someone she's only known for a month and a half anyway? She sounds like she's lost her marbles to me!

She told her mom she though the dress would be half the price. That's $75.00. Where can you find that??? I would LOVE to know!!!

My sister would be more than happy to do it. I know that she won't be able to really have a hand in paying for things, and that isn't the important part to me. She IS however able to have her hand in planning, and ideas, and support. All of it. I feel bad now for not asking her in the first place.

My MOH has lost about 67 lbs in the past 8 months, and found a new conifence that she never had before. But now, she has become concieded, and it really bothers me. She looks at pics and braggs about how skinny she is, and hot she looks. She met the guy a few years ago, and he didn't give her the time of day. Now, she remeets him and it all shotgun. Her parents are very supportive, but still, I agree. She has only known him a few months.

CindySue
05-12-2006, 03:41 PM
Id flat out tell her you see shes busy and doesnt have time to be MoH so you are releasing her of her duties. I would just make her a regular guest.

countrygirl
05-12-2006, 03:42 PM
Id flat out tell her you see shes busy and doesnt have time to be MoH so you are releasing her of her duties. I would just make her a regular guest.

That is what, at this point, I think I am going to do. She obviously doesn't have time for me, and I can't count on things to be done, only to find out at crunch time that she can't do it.

I know you have had prob in this department Cindy. It really really sucks!!!

CindySue
05-12-2006, 03:44 PM
That is what, at this point, I think I am going to do. She obviously doesn't have time for me, and I can't count on things to be done, only to find out at crunch time that she can't do it.

I know you have had prob in this department Cindy. It really really sucks!!!
It does suck....big time. If she cant afford her dress as a MoH, shes not going to be able to afford it as a BM.

Kacie_bride
05-12-2006, 03:47 PM
Well what a guy he must be!!!!! Why would you want to be with someone who wouldn't give you the time of day when you were heavier? That means he does not like her for who she is! That relationship will probably never work anyway. What happens if she gains that weight back? Will he still be there for her? I don't think so.

I would love to find that price for a dress too Heather!

StaceyMc
05-12-2006, 04:03 PM
I would not only fire her, but I wouldn't be part of her wedding either. She just doesn't sound like a good friend right now.

MOB Karen
05-12-2006, 04:12 PM
Heather, Amber still has her original MOH, but she is on her second set of BM's. One of her original BM's was a good friend of hers, so she thought. This "friend" actually told Amber that she's been a b*tch ever since her miscarriage. She also said that Amber was jealous of her because she could have kids. OMG! Needless to say, Amber could not get rid of her, as a friend and as a BM, fast enough. They aren't speaking to this day. Now, Amber has the most wonderful BM's that are more than happy to do anything Amber wants them to do.

WhiskeyGirl
05-12-2006, 04:34 PM
Heather, Amber still has her original MOH, but she is on her second set of BM's. One of her original BM's was a good friend of hers, so she thought. This "friend" actually told Amber that she's been a b*tch ever since her miscarriage. She also said that Amber was jealous of her because she could have kids. OMG! Needless to say, Amber could not get rid of her, as a friend and as a BM, fast enough. They aren't speaking to this day. Now, Amber has the most wonderful BM's that are more than happy to do anything Amber wants them to do.

Thats horriable!! PEople say the most ridiculous things to people going through miscarriage and infertility!! I'm sorry for the both of you!

Heather, fire the b*tch and get your dress pronto! She sounds like the type of person who might mysteriously dissapear with your dress. One day she'll wake up and find that the man she is with is a total a$$ clown and she royally screwed up!! Ask your sister, you may be suprised as to what the two of you can plan Together !! Good luck Hun!

countrygirl
05-12-2006, 05:05 PM
Thats horriable!! PEople say the most ridiculous things to people going through miscarriage and infertility!! I'm sorry for the both of you!

Heather, fire the b*tch and get your dress pronto! She sounds like the type of person who might mysteriously dissapear with your dress. One day she'll wake up and find that the man she is with is a total a$$ clown and she royally screwed up!! Ask your sister, you may be suprised as to what the two of you can plan Together !! Good luck Hun!

She isn't the type that would take off w the dress in the least. She is the type that would meet up just to give it back. But, I do already have it, so we are fine there.

WhiskeyGirl
05-12-2006, 05:07 PM
She isn't the type that would take off w the dress in the least. She is the type that would meet up just to give it back. But, I do already have it, so we are fine there.

My apologies! I just thought she sounded kinda shady! I'd still fire her though!

ikkin510
05-13-2006, 10:54 AM
I agree, you need to get rid of her as you MOH. Put your sister in the position. You will be surprised how much the two of you can do with the distance between you. I'm in PA and my MOH is in Wisconsin. We talk every Mondy night and get a lot accomplished in that time. She will look up stuff on the internet for me, give me weekly reminders of things to do. She also offered to help make favors and such and then bring them out when she comes down for the wedding.
Best of luck with the difficult current MOH. Keep us updated on how everything turns out!