Thoughts to Ponder : )

[Amber818]

Why, Why, Why ?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone
believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Happy Thursday!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Thanks Amber!! That was cute and I needed a laugh today! lol

[LaceyinPgh]

Here is another one,
Why do I drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?

[WhiskeyGirl]

How about if one syncronized swimmer drowns does that mean the rest have to as well?? Lmao!

[CindySue]

Love it!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!

[countrygirl]

That is too frikken funny!!!!

[MOB Karen]

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_6_216.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYINUS) These are great, Amber!! Here's a couple more...

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

[Shawna Bride]

I have a riddle for all you smarties:

What's bigger than God
Scarier than the devil
and if you eat it you will die???

[MOB Karen]

I have a riddle for all you smarties:

What's bigger than God
Scarier than the devil
and if you eat it you will die???


I know, I know.

[CindySue]

Ok....I give....what is it?

[brewsells]

I give too! What is it?

[WhiskeyGirl]

Thats just mean! She posts that and then goes offline!! :( lol

[MOB Karen]

I'll let Shawna tell you guys.

[Shawna Bride]

LOL... I"m on line, just had to take a call...
Do you really want to know the answer?

It's..............

nothing

Nothing is bigger than God
Nothing is scarier than the devil
and if you eat Nothing, you will die

[countrygirl]

HA HA, Very funny. ;)

[cowboysbride]

LOL...that's so bad its great

[WhiskeyGirl]

Nice Shawna!! lol!! Silly but funny!!

[Shawna Bride]

Here's another riddle:

2 Fathers and 2 Sons go fishing.
They each catch a fish.
They come home with 3 fish.
How?

[CindySue]

This one I know!!!!!!!

[WhiskeyGirl]

This one I know!!!!!!!

I don't! I don't know any! lol I'm a dunse!

[Shawna Bride]

Should I tell you, or do you want to think of it more?

[countrygirl]

Tell Us!!! Tell Us!!!

[Shawna Bride]

2 Fathers, 2 Sons:

Grandfather
Father
Son

The Father is also a son (so 2 sons).

[countrygirl]

Ahh, I will have to use that one!!!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Tricky tricky Shawna!

[Shawna Bride]

Here's one:

A father and son are driving, and get into a bad accident. The father immediately dies and the son is rushed to the hospital. When he gets into the ER, the doctor takes one look at him and says "I cannot operate on him, he is my son."

How??

[CindySue]

I know that one too!!!!

[Amber818]

Here's one:

A father and son are driving, and get into a bad accident. The father immediately dies and the son is rushed to the hospital. When he gets into the ER, the doctor takes one look at him and says "I cannot operate on him, he is my son."

How??

No idea...but if I were to guess I would think that the son dies too....????

[Shawna Bride]

The doctor is his MOTHER!!!!

[Amber818]

OIC! That was a good one! LOL!

[brewsells]

I was just going to say that.

[MOB Karen]

The doctor is his MOTHER!!!!


I always thought that the reason no one ever thinks of the mother is because we don't naturally assume that women are doctors. Sad commentary for our society actually.

[Shawna Bride]

It's true. Most people automatically think of a doctor as a man..,,. it's a shame.

[WebLady]

great posts :D

Here are a few silly riddles for ya ...

- If a Rooster lays an egg on the eve of a house which way does it roll?

- A place crashes on the boarder of the US and Canada, where do they bury the survivors?

- When was the war of 1812?

- Who is buried in the Grant's Tomb?

- "How many bullets are there in a six-shooter?"

[cowboysbride]

great posts :D

Here are a few silly riddles for ya ...

- If a Rooster lays an egg on the eve of a house which way does it roll?

- A place crashes on the boarder of the US and Canada, where do they bury the survivors?

- When was the war of 1812?

- Who is buried in the Grant's Tomb?

- "How many bullets are there in a six-shooter?"

Roosters dont lay eggs hens do
survivors aren't dead
1812
Grant
six

[WebLady]

Roosters dont lay eggs hens do
survivors aren't dead
1812
Grant
six
hahaha, you got them all smartie ... These usually stump kids more I guess ;)

[cowboysbride]

hahaha, you got them all smartie ... These usually stump kids more I guess ;)


shhhhhhhhhhh...I knew the first one the others took me a second! LOL

Here's one:

If a six foot tall magician holds a water glass at the top of his head and drops it to the floor without spilling a drop...

how does it fall six feet to the floor and not loose any water?

[WebLady]

shhhhhhhhhhh...I knew the first one the others took me a second! LOL

Here's one:

If a six foot tall magician holds a water glass at the top of his head and drops it to the floor without spilling a drop...

how does it fall six feet to the floor and not loose any water?
hmmm, you said 'water glass' not 'glass of water' ... was it empty?

How about these ...

- What 2 coins equal 55 cents?

- When does 2 plus 1 equal 4?

[Shawna Bride]

Here are some more teasers:

How many months have 28 days?

You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?


This is as light as a feather, yet no one can hold it for long.
What is it?

[Shawna Bride]

hmmm, you said 'water glass' not 'glass of water' ... was it empty?

How about these ...

- What 2 coins equal 55 cents?

- When does 2 plus 1 equal 4?

I'm totally stumped.... Does the first one have anything to do with a 50 cent coin?

[WebLady]

Here are some more teasers:

1. How many months have 28 days?

2. You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?

3. This is as light as a feather, yet no one can hold it for long.
What is it?

1. 12, every month as at least 28 days ;)

2. ??

3. Your breath

I'm totally stumped.... Does the first one have anything to do with a 50 cent coin?

yeah ... "What 2 coins equal 55 cents?" A. a half dollar and a nickel ;)

Still have this one ... When does 2 plus 1 equal 4?

[cowboysbride]

hmmm, you said 'water glass' not 'glass of water' ... was it empty?

How about these ...

- What 2 coins equal 55 cents?

- When does 2 plus 1 equal 4?

now who's the smartie??? good job!!!!!!!

[Shawna Bride]

You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?

Corn!!! You throw away the husk, eat the corn and throw away the cob!

[WebLady]

You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?
I GOT IT ... An ear of corn!

Here is another ...

What always runs but never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, has a mouth but never eats?

p.s. I think we hijacked another thread

[Shawna Bride]

LOL, just in the nick of time....

[Shawna Bride]

I GOT IT ... An ear of corn!

Here is another ...

What always runs but never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, has a mouth but never eats?

p.s. I think we hijacked another thread


is it a RIVER?

[Shawna Bride]

I'm leaving work now but I'll leave you with a few to figure out:

What sits in a corner while traveling all around the world?

What question can a person ask all day long, getting a different answer each time, and yet all the answers were correct

You enter a dark room. You have only one match. There is an oil lamp, a furnace, and a stove in the room. Which would you light first?

Hank is at work. He goes off to his right. Then he goes off to his left three times and passes a man in a mask. What is Hank's occupation?

[WebLady]

is it a RIVER?
Yeah! You got it!!

[countrygirl]

I'm leaving work now but I'll leave you with a few to figure out:

What sits in a corner while traveling all around the world?

What question can a person ask all day long, getting a different answer each time, and yet all the answers were correct

You enter a dark room. You have only one match. There is an oil lamp, a furnace, and a stove in the room. Which would you light first?

Hank is at work. He goes off to his right. Then he goes off to his left three times and passes a man in a mask. What is Hank's occupation?

Don't know

"What time is it"???

A match

And Hank has one confusing job.

[MOB Karen]

Don't know

"What time is it"???

A match

And Hank has one confusing job.

A Stamp

"What time is it"???

A match

Baseball Player

[countrygirl]

A Stamp

"What time is it"???

A match

Baseball Player

Ok Karen, you are too smart for me. I quit!!!!

[Shawna Bride]

Yeah, you got it!!!