Cold Feet!!!

[fuzzyduckling]

:o I'm..well...freaking out. I'm to be married in May and I have cold feet. Its the most unpleasant feeling i've ever experienced. I can't stop focusing my fiancee's character defects rather than on his beautiful and numerous character assets. We've been engaged for over a year now, but I've only started getting cold feet in the last month or so. I hate feeling this way! Please tell me its normal! Or what to do! I promise I'm not a crazy lady. Just a desperate grad student who doesn't want to make any huge mistakes. I chose this "Already Married" chat forum in the hopes that some of you experienced cold feet and are now happy and in love with the big crazy wedding day behind you. Any advice is greatlly appreciated.

[As You Wish]

You are about to make the biggest commitment of your life. Who you marry determines what your life will be like. You are now choosing many of the problems you will be dealing with for the rest of your life.

It is normal to be scared. It is normal to question. Don't stop either- until the wedding day then squash both as much as possible. The real question you are asking is how I know he is the right guy. Only you can answer that. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. There are many things about my husband that make me crazy. And will make me crazy the rest of my life. But I would rather have HIM making me crazy than anyone else. The love and passion we have is stronger than the crazy making. Can you live with his particular character defects for the rest of your life?

[Am3na]

Everyone has faults, it's just determining which faults you can handle. I lived with my husband for almost 4 years before we got married, during that time we had A LOT of disagreements, but we always worked them out. Marry is not only about love it also is about compromise.

Hope that helps a bit. :wink:

[Charity]

I am sure that what you are going through is perfectly normal. Just remember, somewhere inside that man is enough wonderful qualities to get you to agree to marry him in the first place! Give yourself time, don't be so hard on yourself (or him!) and don't forget to keep the communication channels WIDE open!

Good Luck!

[robindepaula]

I went through the "cold-feet" syndrome before my husband & I got married. I think it is completely normal to have those feelings ~ most brides that I photograph have said the same thing. Rest assured, all is going to be fine.

Robin

[morgan]

Totally understandable... & good advice... good luck!

[Foreverweddings]

My husband and I had been together for eight years before we got married. I wanted so badly to be married and when it finally came down to it, I was elated. It was two days before our wedding, and I was the one freaking out! He, who had been terrified of marriage for the eight years we were together, was all calm and collected, and I was teary and terrified. I knew that what I was feeling was the stress of everything and the fact that, oh my god, this is it. We were married last July and it has been the most amazing feeling every since. It still doesn't feel real to me still sometimes, but I am very excited that I have a husband like this. Yes, he does things that drive me NUTS! But we laugh and tease about it, and make it all in fun. No one is perfect, nor is any husband going to be perfect. As long as things were going well up to this point, I wouldn't worry about it. Enjoy the moment, as it is fleeting!

[allydawn0040]

:D Love ForeverWedding's post! My best friend went through the same exact thing. Her and her FH had been together for 7 years and she desperatley wanted to get married. He finally asked and of course she was elated! But as the wedding drew closer and closer the more freaked out she became!! The day before the wedding she announced to the whole bridal shop where she doing a final fitting that she was not getting married any longer (the help there was not compitant & it just got to be too much for her so she said this out of frustration) :oops: and her hubby is there in the other room trying on his tux!!!! AGHH!! We got through it, got the gown issues worked out and they were married as planned the next day. They have been married for just over a year now & she is loving it!! Her & hubby joke & laugh about all the wedding up's & down's she went through and it actually brought them closer. What you are going through is normal so hang in there and remember that he must be worth having as a husband since you agreed to marry him! Blessings, allydawn0040