How do I approach this...

[TheFutureMrsSmith]

I am having some major issues here lol

I have a very close friend who I always pictured being in my wedding. However, I didn't choose her to be my MOH, FH's sister is the other BM and I wasn't planning on having any more attendants, mainly because FH doesn't have anyone else he wants to ask, and for budget reasons (I plan to pay for our attendants attire).

I was a BM in my friend's wedding, and we are pretty close... I know there are options... I could ask her to be a BM anyway and just have an asymmetrical party, ask her to do a reading, or something. But I think she will really have her feelings hurt if she is anything less than a BM :( What would you do?

[TheFutureMrsSmith]

This is kind of related to my other post about FH's sister. IF she does want to still be a bridesmaid, this is the predicament I will be in with my friend.

[LovingLife]

You shouldnt feel obligated to ask her. But if you really want her in the wedding you could ask her and then just have the girls pay for 1/2 of the cost of the dress.


Personally, if we were really close I would ask her. I dont have too many "girlfriends" . Thats just me though.

[TheFutureMrsSmith]

Thanks! That's the direction I was leaning towards, and I was actually just talking with my MOH about it and she agreed.

[gwenshack]

I'd ask her. If you're super close and have always wanted her included in your wedding it wouldn't be too fun for you to miss the opportunity to include her, especially if she ends being replaced with the future SIL that you don't want up there!

Here's what I'd say about budget - you're under no obligation to pay for the attire for your BM, your friend never has to know that you intended to pay. She pays for her own dress, you aren't out the cost, the person you wanted to stand beside you will be.

Good luck! :)

[EarlyBird]

id ask her. The truth is, you could always just "HELP" out with her dress cost and ask the other girls polietly not to tell her about the dress and you paying (this is not sneaky but many people pay for an attendants dress if they cant afford it etc, but if money isnt an issue with this friend then i wouldnt worry about paying for it)