Grandfather wants to do the ceremony!

[Future Mrs. Taylor]

So my grandfather and I have a speacial bond. We aren't that close anymore due to the fact that he still lives California and I moved back to Memphis, TN. But still, he has been an pastor for over 40 something years. Ever since I was little he had always made jokes about marrying me when I get older... Well wouldn't you know I'm getting married... :D Now just a personal thing... I would much rather my grandfather just attend the wedding than actually be in it. He is around 75 years old and I would love for him to sit down and enjoy the ceremony, another thing is that my FH has an extremely close bond with his childhood pastor that has married both of his sisters and is still a pastor at the church he and I attend every sunday. I am so wishy washy about everything I would rather my FH make that decision if it means more to him than me. I really could care less I think I'm so ready just to be married than care who is actually going to marry me. The thing is that he emailed my dad asking if we wanted him to marry us. I don't want to seem mean or ungrateful because I think its very nice of him to ask but it simply means more to my FH than myself but I don't want to tell him... HELP!

[BarceloMayaPalaceBride]

Maybe you could tell your grandfather how deeply touched you are by his suggestion, but that you have already chosen a pastor. You could definetely set aside a special dance for him though. :)

[WBandMe]

Well, you obviously gotta tell him, but be nice about it. Explain to him that you'd love it, but you would *really* love for him to just be able to sit and enjoy the ceremony. Or, you could take the other approach and explain to him that weddings involve compromise and this is something that was really really important to your fiance, so you agreed on his pastor. Yes, your grandpa might get his feelings hurt a little bit, but I bet he'll understand.

[Scrwballsgrl]

Well like the other ladies previously stated...Just be honest with him tell him you would like more if he would just enjoy the wedding instead of having to "work" through it. Especially since the pastor you've chosen is the one of the church you and Fh attended (even Grampa should understand about that) maybe talk to the pastor who is marrying ya'll and see how he would feel if you invited your Grandfather to do a special blessing or prayer for ya'll either as part of the ceremony or sometime during the reception?

That way he still gets to be a part of the spiritual side of your special day and ya'll can have the pastor ya'll want.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Awwwwwww if he's got his heart set on doing it, and if it was me, I would hate to say no to him. Maybe your grandpa could do the readings?

We had three ministers involved in our wedding; our church minister (very dear friend) and a married couple (also very dear friends and ministers). We asked our church minister first and he had no problem sharing :) The couple handled the readings and our minister handled the rest.

[Century Guy]

I've known plenty of couples that both had pastors that were special to each party, and the pastors "tag teamed" the ceremony. That could certainly be an option. I understand you want your grandfather to just sit and relax, but it would probably be a very special honor to him personally to be able to help marry his granddaughter.

There's something in the heart of a pastor that cares even more deeply for a spiritual event that a family member goes through.

[caligal85]

I've known plenty of couples that both had pastors that were special to each party, and the pastors "tag teamed" the ceremony. That could certainly be an option. I understand you want your grandfather to just sit and relax, but it would probably be a very special honor to him personally to be able to help marry his granddaughter.

There's something in the heart of a pastor that cares even more deeply for a spiritual event that a family member goes through.

My father did this with my SIL's minister at my brother's wedding. It would've been devastating to my dad if he hadn't been able to be a part of my brother's wedding. I don't remember which part of the ceremony my dad did (I think it was the vows) but it went splendidly. I would say, please consider doing something like this. It's wonderful to attend a loved one's wedding but to be asked to participate makes it that much more meaningful.

[gwenshack]

Why don't you ask him just to do a prayer or a reading or something. That way he'll feel included still. :)

[Thalia_themuse]

If you have a special bond with him, maybe ask that both he AND your father walk you down the aisle...? and then let him sit in the front etc. Maybe if you wanted him involved in such a special way, he would be more than thrilled to not marry you...? (if that makes sense)

Or else let him do a reading/prayer.

Good luck!!

[WebLady]

As others have said, you could try to have them both do part of the ceremony. Or if you just want one officiate, then just tell Grandpa that you want him to enjoy the wedding and all and then have your FH's pastor do the ceremony.

You can have Grandpa do a blessing at the rehearsal; over dinner and/or as a toast or something.

[soontobemrs]

I would definitely involve them both. This way there are no hurt feelings and you'll be doubly blessed!:D

[mrsg2b]

When my sister got married she had her childhood pastor and her FH's pastor (who he really wanted to do the ceremony) share the duties! They could definitely tag team it and if they rehearse it will be seamless :)

[f77g4]

I would definately want to include him. He can sit back and enjoy himself at the reception as the ceremony is usually fairly short...Definately consider everyone's idea about having both due the ceremony as even though you said it wasn't important to you, I think your grandfather is.