Hi Everyone!!

[Bobblehead Bride]

I just wanted to say Hi to everyone. My husband to be and I got engaged on the Easter long weekend and I have already started to freak out!! We are trying to plan the wedding to happen as soon as possible. We have lived together for 10 years and now the pressure is on. We are wanting to start a family soon. The timing is really good for us right now and my doctor thinks I may have some trouble if I wait too much longer (he actually told me to start three years ago). There is pressure to be married before children, we want a small yet well planned wedding, we need the wedding to be out of Canada, and we have to plan the wedding around a brother's wedding which is at the end of October. We want our wedding to happen in Hawaii and his brother's wedding is in Mexico. Because we announced our engagement after his brother's announcement and we are also having a destination wedding, we come off as jerks. Sometimes I want to just give up and be the nice girl. Am I being unreasonable? I think everyone would be relieved if we put off the wedding until next year, but I worry that if we wait much longer for children we may not have them. It is also so important to me that my grandmother is there and she may not be there if we wait to long. Our family is scattered all over the place so everyone has to fly anyways. We thought Hawaii would be fun for everyone. I would really appreciate any advice anyone has to give. Anyway, here's to jumping in head first!!

[CindySue]

Welcome to the board! Im sure you will gets lots of good advice here....I know I sure have!
I can understand why family would be a little frustrated....flying to the brothers wedding only to have to turn around and fly to yours. I know this may be WAY off base but what about you and your FH having a private ceremony, just the 2 of you and then at a later date having a family and friends reception? I understand you want family there, but I also understand why you dont want to wait any longer than possible. Id talk to you family and see EXACTLY how they feel and make sure they understand where YOU are coming from here. Then you will be able to make your decision.
Good Luck!

[Kacie_bride]

Hey! Welcome to the board! I hope you find it just as rewarding as we all do! Does everyone get together for the holidays anyway? If your brother's wedding is in October in Mexico why not have yours over the Christmas holidays? It would be fun to have Christmas in Hawaii and everyone could be together for the holiday and your wedding. That would be 2 months clear of his wedding and if everyone travels anyway people shouldn't be irritated with you. Just a thought though. Good luck.

[countrygirl]

Welcome to the board! Im sure you will gets lots of good advice here....I know I sure have!
I can understand why family would be a little frustrated....flying to the brothers wedding only to have to turn around and fly to yours. I know this may be WAY off base but what about you and your FH having a private ceremony, just the 2 of you and then at a later date having a family and friends reception? I understand you want family there, but I also understand why you dont want to wait any longer than possible. Id talk to you family and see EXACTLY how they feel and make sure they understand where YOU are coming from here. Then you will be able to make your decision.
Good Luck!

I agree w Cindy. You could do a small wedding, and a well planned reception.

Welcome to the board!! There is alot of help in here!!!

[andysgirl07]

Congratulations and welcome to the board!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Welcome to the board! I can also see where your family is coming from! If I had a brother (who wasnt already married..lol) and a sister and they were planning on doing what you are I would only be able to attend one because of money. So of course I would only be going to Mexico, though I love Hawaii better! :wink:

As far as the trouble not having kids, I know where you are coming from. We've been trying almost 2 years, so I know how it feels to want to get the wedding over and move onto the next step of your life.

If I were you, I'd sit key people down and talk with them! Are their concerns that they cannot afford to fly to mexico and then to Hawaii?? Just remember that Hawaii is VERY expensive!! (we dropped over $3000 dollars on our honey moon!!!! and that was only 10 days!) talk to them and tell them that this is your dream to marry the one you love in Hawaii! Maybe you could get married in Canada (by a jp) and then renew your vows in Hawaii (the big ceremony kind of thing) the following year so as to give your family time to recouperate from having to come up the money for a trip to Mexico!

Sorry if what I said isn't what you wanted to hear but I'm just giving you an outside view point!! Good luck and again welcome to the site!! :)

[Jenn060306]

Welcome to the board! That definatly is a tough situation. But i have to agree with the other girls in finding out how the rest of your families feel about it. If you would all get together for the holidays normally doing it between Christmas and New Years would be great!
Also maybe consider looking at some other destinations for your wedding. Dominican Republic and Cuba are VERY nice and reasonably priced. My FH god parents went there with their 3 teenage boys for 10 days and it cost them $5000.00 round trip.

[Bobblehead Bride]

I just wanted to thank everyone who replied with some ideas. We have talked a little with the family and it looks like they may be more interested in going in January. I still have to talk to some of the family that's a little more intimidating. We feel are feeling a little torn about the private ceremony since the families voiced some concern (which is an idicator of major trouble if we proceed). We like the idea because we could do it somewhere we've never been. Another bonus is that it could end up very romantic it and it would also allow us to save some money. We are a little worried for a couple of people who may feel the burden of two destination weddings. We are going to really work on finding cheap flights and accomadations etc. Also, I thought I could try to cut corners in some of the budgeting and then we could help them out.
Well I'm crossing my fingers it all works out...

[Kacie_bride]

Well I hope it all works out for you! Keep us posted with what's going on and jump into the board!

[WhiskeyGirl]

I just wanted to thank everyone who replied with some ideas. We have talked a little with the family and it looks like they may be more interested in going in January. I still have to talk to some of the family that's a little more intimidating. We feel are feeling a little torn about the private ceremony since the families voiced some concern (which is an idicator of major trouble if we proceed). We like the idea because we could do it somewhere we've never been. Another bonus is that it could end up very romantic it and it would also allow us to save some money. We are a little worried for a couple of people who may feel the burden of two destination weddings. We are going to really work on finding cheap flights and accomadations etc. Also, I thought I could try to cut corners in some of the budgeting and then we could help them out.
Well I'm crossing my fingers it all works out...

Have you been to Hawaii before? What island are you planning on going to? You have to be careful with cheap hotels because they tend to be dirty and disgusting!! I hope it all works out for you though! Please keep us posted!! Take care!