Adult only weddings

[rmcarter65]

I have read all the aguements for and against adult only wedding, and I am not really looking to start that debate. The situation is what it is, cocktails will be served and the banquet room opens up onto a pool area and we decided we dont want the liabilitly or the heartache if anything were to happen to a child that wasn't well tended by their parents and therefore have specified it on an insert card with the invitation that the reception is an adult only affair. I also added on the card that people contact me as I have arranged for babysitters (at my expense) if anyone has difficulty lining one up on their own.

That being said, I am getting RSVP's back and people are adding their children in spite of the fact that the invitations were addressed to the adults only and the inserts clearly stated that this is an adult function. So how do you tactfully deal with this situation? And if a stuborn (selfish) few do show up with kids in tow how should that be dealt with. I am seriously concidering haveing someone at the door to turn them away if they insist on bringing their kids. (also I chose not to have a babysitter at the reception site, I am sorry but I feel that is going way above and beyond)

[rmcarter65]

Hmmm no edit button lol I also had to resend reception cards due to a change in location for the reception and I reiterated Adults only on those also so I think the situation was made very clear. So no one can say that they didnt know.

[neebelung]

I think very gently phrased phone calls are in order to clarify... Even though you were clear, ACT as if they just made an oversight when you call, and say "Oh Hi Linda... hey, I got your response card, and I noticed you added little Johnny. I just wanted to let you know, in case you missed it, that this is an adult cocktail reception.... yes, yes, I know he's a good kid, but it's just not going to be a kid friendly environment at all, so he'll be bored anyway, however I do have a sitter scheduled to be at...... there'll be other kids there Johnny can play with, he'll have a much better time there."

As for the guests that show up with kids en tow anyway? Eh, not much you can (tactfully) do about that. You can be clear in the invites, you can place reminder calls, but to actually turn away people at the door would be very rude, IMO (yes, it's rude of them to bring their kids who aren't invited, but to turn them away would only cause friction at what should be your happiest of days).

[mj512]

I would call, maybe they are rsvp-ing their children thinking they have to let you know that they will be bringing them to the babysitter you are providing?

[rmcarter65]

BTW, I should have clarified this is my daughters wedding, Dad and I are hosting, but Bride \ Groom \ dad \ Grooms parents, are all in agreement over the no kids policy. I told my daughter that if anyone gets in a huff she can blame it all on her B@*&^ :snide: Mom if it will help haha

[RozMitchell]

I agree with neebelung. Just call and play dumb. "Oh, I'm just trying to get a final count for the babysitter - I assume you're planning on using the babysitter we're providing?"

If they get huffy, you could just tell them that since there is an open pool there, the insurance rider will not allow for children to attend. Plain and simple. Blame it on something that you obviously have no control over.

Roz

[MrsDM]

If they get huffy, you could just tell them that since there is an open pool there, the insurance rider will not allow for children to attend. Plain and simple. Blame it on something that you obviously have no control over.

Roz

Thats a great idea!!!!

[neebelung]

BTW, I should have clarified this is my daughters wedding, Dad and I are hosting, but Bride \ Groom \ dad \ Grooms parents, are all in agreement over the no kids policy. I told my daughter that if anyone gets in a huff she can blame it all on her B@*&^ :snide: Mom if it will help haha
Still, the manner in which to handle it remains the same. :) (nah, no need for her to throw you under the bus ... if it's handled right, no REASONABLE person should be upset by it anyway :grinhappy:)

[WebLady]

I agree that you should call to clarify on those that send in RSVP's with kids. I would also put the word out via close friends and family that the event is strictly no kids allowed; blame it on the venue and liability if you have to. Put it out thre that there may just be a door man with a "list".

Hopefully you won't have anyone show up with kids; good luck!

[Brian's Bride]

I would also check with the guests and see if they put Little Johnny on there so you would know he'd need a babysitter.

[shopmysongs]

A phone call is a good idea. Or send something in the mail to those few people stating the fact. The problem is when you let one or two people break the rule the rest get mad cuz they followed the rule. Anyone that would be mad at this request should stay home if they feel it is wrong. More receptions are adult only rather than the other. Sometimes you have a couple kids that are close family (brothers, sisters, ring bearer, flower girl) that will be there but that's a part of the wedding.