WTF? Why would *he* want to come?!

[CarlosHoney]

Alright. My Grandpa Joe has a son who is like, 19 or 20. I've never met him, talked to him, nothing.. I just found out that he exhisted about a year ago. I serously forgot that the dude exhisted.. He lives in Tennesee.

So, I'm on the phone with my Aunt Roxanne, and she asks if I sent Matt an invitation. :bbneutral: Um... No. It didn't even occour to me. I don't know him. He shares some DNA. He shouldn't assume that he's invited, 'cause you know what happens wheb you ***-u-me things, right?

Just feel weird.. I mean, yes, he's part of my family, but he isn't really. As I said, he shares some DNA.. He's not my Uncle and he's not really someone who I want to persue a relationship with.

It's just Bizzare that he would even want to come. Knowing what I know about him, he probably wants to come just to hang out with my brother, who is 17 years old. They'd just end up sneaking off and walking to some brush on the course to light up a J.

Just wanted to share, I mean, has anyone had this happen? It's so strange!

[CindySue]

Sorry you are having to deal with this on top of everything else! And I dont blame you for feeling the way you do.
I havent had any **** like that on my side of the family, but Brian has. He has some cousins that he only sees once a year for Christmas when everyone meets at his grandparents house (they are in their late 90s, so this is a big deal.) and does NOT have any type of communication with them other than that. There have been a few that have made the comment to the grandparents about why they werent invited. HELLO????? Brian made his list, I made mine and that was all that were invited! With mine we had the excuse that its immediate family and closest friends only. Not sure how you ought to handle yours. If it really isnt that big of a deal, Id be the bigger person and invite him. If it is a big deal, well it is YOUR wedding so you get to do what you want!
Good Luck!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Wow that is a akward position to be in isn't it?! I don't really know what to tell you Carrie except go with your gut feeling! If you think that all that is going to happen is that your brother and him will sneak off to smoke drugs then Don't invite him! I really don't think you should be required to anyhow! Follow your gut Hun!

[CarlosHoney]

Well, I just didn't really say anything about it. I said that he wasn't sent an invitation, and that it didn't occour ot me to do so. If he wants to come I'm not going to stop him... But, um, I don't know him and I don't really want a bunch of strangers wandering around my wedding.

[Jenn060306]

I'm sorry Carrie. It's hard having people presure you into inviting people. Especailly when you don't know them and have a feeling that they will do things you don't want them too.
My dad told me the other day to invite his cousin grant. I was a little thrown because i think i have only met him once and it was yeeeaaars ago. I really felt like is this guy going to make a difference in my day? not really. But because it is important to my dad i am.

I really hate the idea of strangers at my wedding too. It fustrates me that some of my friends are looking for a date simply because they can bring one not because they are seeing someone. There will be about 20 people at my wedding who Mark and i have never met and will most likely never meet again.

If you really don't want him there, tell your Aunt that you are trying to keep the wedding small and are only inviting close family that you have a good relationship with. Good Luck hun! Hope you don't have too much more pressure to invite people you havent.

[CindySue]

Well, I just didn't really say anything about it. I said that he wasn't sent an invitation, and that it didn't occour ot me to do so. If he wants to come I'm not going to stop him... But, um, I don't know him and I don't really want a bunch of strangers wandering around my wedding.
Did HE say something about not getting the invitation or was you aunt just asking?
Thats why I wasnt having a big wedding! Ive been known a couple of people that did, and they both said about half (well one said a third) of the people there they didnt know or didnt remember. Parents can getting really nutty with this. (No offense Karen!)

[MOB Karen]

Did HE say something about not getting the invitation or was you aunt just asking?
Thats why I wasnt having a big wedding! Ive been known a couple of people that did, and they both said about half (well one said a third) of the people there they didnt know or didnt remember. Parents can getting really nutty with this. (No offense Karen!)


LOL!! No offense taken!

[usahgrad]

Carrie, I know how you feel! Last week, Jason's grandfather passed away. Jason's family has never been really close to his dad's side before so a lot of this family he hasn't seen in years (some sort of money, black sheep, whatever...) Anyways, at the visitation on Friday evening, everyone we met would walk up, say "Hi, wow Jason! You're all grown up! I haven't seen you in like fifteen years! I hear you're getting married soon, I didn't get my invitation, it must have gotten lost in the mail." :bbeek: Umm...ya, lost in the mail. Literally we kept having to explain that we were having a very small wedding and because he hadn't seen any of them in awhile we hadn't invited them.

Well, to put the cake topper on everything the girlfriend of Jason's now deceased grandfather, who said nothing to any of his family all night, corners me in a back hallway while I'm waiting for Jason, who's in the restroom, on our way out and screams at me because instead of writing out her name on the invitation, we wrote his grandfather's name "and guest". No one was sure if she was serious enough to bring to the wedding and even then, no one knew how to spell her name! She is screaming her head off at me to the point where people in the visitation room heard her and Jason's sister comes out and tells the woman very plainly to back off and that we were trying to be nice and could have not invited her at all. She looks at his sister and says, "Well that would have been just fine, because I'm not coming anyways!" Then what was the BIG FREAKING DEAL! Oh my gosh, it was awful!

So, I know where you're coming from. Just because you happen to share a little DNA does not mean you are entitled to a wedding invitation. I wish people would understand these things!

[Jenn060306]

Carrie, I know how you feel! Last week, Jason's grandfather passed away. Jason's family has never been really close to his dad's side before so a lot of this family he hasn't seen in years (some sort of money, black sheep, whatever...) Anyways, at the visitation on Friday evening, everyone we met would walk up, say "Hi, wow Jason! You're all grown up! I haven't seen you in like fifteen years! I hear you're getting married soon, I didn't get my invitation, it must have gotten lost in the mail." :bbeek: Umm...ya, lost in the mail. Literally we kept having to explain that we were having a very small wedding and because he hadn't seen any of them in awhile we hadn't invited them.

Well, to put the cake topper on everything the girlfriend of Jason's now deceased grandfather, who said nothing to any of his family all night, corners me in a back hallway while I'm waiting for Jason, who's in the restroom, on our way out and screams at me because instead of writing out her name on the invitation, we wrote his grandfather's name "and guest". No one was sure if she was serious enough to bring to the wedding and even then, no one knew how to spell her name! She is screaming her head off at me to the point where people in the visitation room heard her and Jason's sister comes out and tells the woman very plainly to back off and that we were trying to be nice and could have not invited her at all. She looks at his sister and says, "Well that would have been just fine, because I'm not coming anyways!" Then what was the BIG FREAKING DEAL! Oh my gosh, it was awful!

So, I know where you're coming from. Just because you happen to share a little DNA does not mean you are entitled to a wedding invitation. I wish people would understand these things!

How terrible! I think i would have burst into tears if anyone would do such a thing and at a visitation of the grooms grandfather. That woman should be ashamed of herself!
I honestly think weddings make people crazy. Not only brides or grooms but the friends and family and anyone who knows the bride or groom.

[CarlosHoney]

OMG! She yelled at you?! Geez!! :bbeek: I would have told her to go fly a kite.

Well, I think my Mom mentioned to him that there was going to be a wedding, and he asked my Aunt about it. Seriously, though.. From what I understand, he can't speak proper grammar, dropped out of HS because his computer teacher "had a crush on him" and he thought that this teacher was gay, and wears noting but those big jersies that come down to his knees, with pants that are so baggy you could smuggle a family of 5 in them, with shoes that cost a month's rent. Doesn't really go with my theme, you know? :p

So, I don't think he's coming. I don't really care if he does, I mean, whatever.. I'm just peeved that my Mother invites people without telling me when she didn't contribute one single penny to the event.

Sigh. Oh well.. I just didn't know why he would think that he could come?!

[CindySue]

For some strange reason everyone thinks they should be invited to a wedding. My mom and I were talking the other night about me NOT inviting my grandmother. She agrees with my decision. I love my grandmother, but I know her enough that she wouldnt be there anyway, and if she did she would just gripe about the drive, how this is messing up her night, etc. Shes a VERY negative person and Im sorry but I dont want to deal with that on my wedding day. My mom says she will gripe no matter what so let her sit at home and do it where I dont have to be around it.

[LizabethDavis]

Carrie, I know how you feel! Last week, Jason's grandfather passed away. Jason's family has never been really close to his dad's side before so a lot of this family he hasn't seen in years (some sort of money, black sheep, whatever...) Anyways, at the visitation on Friday evening, everyone we met would walk up, say "Hi, wow Jason! You're all grown up! I haven't seen you in like fifteen years! I hear you're getting married soon, I didn't get my invitation, it must have gotten lost in the mail." :bbeek: Umm...ya, lost in the mail. Literally we kept having to explain that we were having a very small wedding and because he hadn't seen any of them in awhile we hadn't invited them.

Well, to put the cake topper on everything the girlfriend of Jason's now deceased grandfather, who said nothing to any of his family all night, corners me in a back hallway while I'm waiting for Jason, who's in the restroom, on our way out and screams at me because instead of writing out her name on the invitation, we wrote his grandfather's name "and guest". No one was sure if she was serious enough to bring to the wedding and even then, no one knew how to spell her name! She is screaming her head off at me to the point where people in the visitation room heard her and Jason's sister comes out and tells the woman very plainly to back off and that we were trying to be nice and could have not invited her at all. She looks at his sister and says, "Well that would have been just fine, because I'm not coming anyways!" Then what was the BIG FREAKING DEAL! Oh my gosh, it was awful!

So, I know where you're coming from. Just because you happen to share a little DNA does not mean you are entitled to a wedding invitation. I wish people would understand these things!

What is really bad here is that she yelled at you during the visitation. Why the hell would she care that her name wasn't spelled out if she wasn't going to come anyway.

Carrie, I wouldn't worry about your..ummm...what was he again? Cousin? He probably doesn't care, it was probably just your aunt being...an aunt. Sometimes, I find that they are real sticklers for EVERYONE being invited. Believe me, I know. All of Pat's Aunts and Uncles ~ and there are 15 of them, some with husbands/wives that do it too ~ that are all telling us that we HAVE to invite this person that quite frankly, we don't know. I just tell them that ~ we don't know this person and so, for now, I think we will pass on inviting them. Good luck.

[CarlosHoney]

If he were just a cousin, it wouldn't be a problem.. It's my Mom's long lost brother. He's younger than I am. My Grandpa never told anyone about him until about a year ago.. So this kid really wants to be part of our family. I just don't know him and it never occoured to me. I kind of forgot that he exhisted.. Seeing as I've never met him. Oh well. I doubt he'd drive 18 hours each way anyway...

[CindySue]

If he were just a cousin, it wouldn't be a problem.. It's my Mom's long lost brother. He's younger than I am. My Grandpa never told anyone about him until about a year ago.. So this kid really wants to be part of our family. I just don't know him and it never occoured to me. I kind of forgot that he exhisted.. Seeing as I've never met him. Oh well. I doubt he'd drive 18 hours each way anyway...
He probably wouldnt drive that distance.....but I would make it a point to send him an announcement.

[CarlosHoney]

Eeh.. We're not sending announcements. Oh well.. ;)

[CindySue]

Eeh.. We're not sending announcements. Oh well.. ;)
We hadnt thought about it, but I think we might print up a few to send to certain people.

[CarlosHoney]

Eeh.. I'm not really concerned at all. If someone doesn't like it, they can kiss my grass.

[usahgrad]

Eeh.. I'm not really concerned at all. If someone doesn't like it, they can kiss my grass.

Here here!