Extra Invitations

[Jenn060306]

Ok, Sorry i just need to grump about this for a moment. I'm a little fustrated with everyone right now.

I've had both my parents and Mark's parents tell us we need to send an invite to someone eles because they were missed in teh first round. I am now at the point where i don't have any invitations left! I can print some more but i'm also aware that we have complete lost track of how many people have been invited to the wedding now. I belive we are now just over 150. The original number we wanted to have was 120. :bbeek:

I just got an e-mail from my dad asking me to send an invite to his cousin grant (who i don't remember ever meeting i might add) fine. (they are paying for it) but they already took an invitation to send to them. What happend to that one. And also... I don't have any!!! The last one i had that i was hoping to save for myself had water spilt all over it care of my charming cat Dusty.
Mark's mom gave us the message that an old friend of ours that we haven't seen or spoke to in 3-4 years was upset that he didn't get an invitation. His parents and roomate (who we have seen and talked to) got invitations but not him. He had the nerve to even complain to mark's mom about it. So she strongly suggested we send him one. But since we were sending him one we thought we should send one to his younger brother who i knew a little better when we were teenagers.
A guy at Mark's work was asking when the ceramony was and what time because he thought it would be cool to see us get married. So Mark really felt funny about not sending him an invitation. So we did and now i'm finding out that he's also bringing a guest. I was kinda hoping he would just come on his own. He knows all the other guys from the music store.... so its not like it would be weird and ackward for him.
I am just getting sooooo fustrated! I don't think anyone realizes how expensive weddings are! It's costing us roughly $100.00 per guest. It makes me so fustrated that they are complaining about being hurt that they are not invited because i really feel bad hurting people i care about. I bit my tounge when i didn't get invited to another friends wedding this summer. I had commented to Mark's mom that it was a bit of a shock that we weren't invited considering he had called her earlier and vented because he has an awards ceramony in North Bay that same day so him and his family won't be able to come. I really feeling like saying to our other friend who was upset that he wasn't invited that Mark and i REALLY look forward to coming to their wedding this winter.

ARRRRGH! I think this whole wedding is getting WAY out of control! It's snowballing like there is no tommorrow. I'm worried i won't have enough favours for the guests because when we bought the glasses we got 148 because we had only invited 140 at that point. If i had known how big this would have gotten i would have just gone to cuba and got married on the beach just us and our families. I just want to smack my head on my desk when i think about it all. I am starting to feel nervous about having everyone watching me all day. I'm shy and quiet and don't like to be the centre of the attention very much. How did this happen?!!?

[WhiskeyGirl]

Jenn

Unfortunately people really don't think about the cost of a wedding, they just think about how they aren't included. Its unfortuante, but sometimes you just have to stand your ground and put your foot down! You can't invite every body and you can't make everyone happy! Besides, who's day is this??? Stand your ground, if you haven't talked to them in four years then what kind of friend are they really??

As far as being nervous to be infront of all those people, believe me I am the same, and I never noticed them because I was too busy focusing on Matthew. The rest of those people didn't matter!! Take care and take it easy!!

Shawna

[LaceyinPgh]

Here is what you do. You tell your parents that life is tough. Your RSVPs are already in and you need to send in a head count. The fact of the matter is this, you aren't going to be invited to every party in the free world everytime someone has one. Your "hurt" guests are going to have to grow up and realize that. You know why, because life is tough sometimes. If not being invited to your wedding is the worst thing that will ever happen to them in life, they have a **** good track record. My fmil wanted to add more poeple when I was getting ready to send out the invitations I told her no, plain aind simple. We all got over it. You have never or at least in years haven't seen these people. Why do you care if they are there?

[Jenn060306]

Thanks, i needed that.
I am definatly going to put my foot down and say NO MORE! we can't. I did a re-count last night and we've now invited 156 people. We planned on only having 120 when we started this. I have no more invitations.
I am so bad for letting people push me arround. I hate knowing i'm hurting someones feelings. I definatly won't even realize that these people are there i know. They wont change the day. I can understand sending an invite to a forgotten family member. But i felt so pressured by Mark's mom. She seemed really anoyed that we forgot the old friends. Mark really wanted to send them an invite now.
There are a number of RSVP's that are still out there un-responded to. Some i know arn't coming and we've got about 10 already so hopefully we'll only have about 130 actually attend.
I am really hoping that i don't even see all the people there. I will loose my voice because i will be so emotional that i am getting married, but being nervous about everyone eles watching will make it worse.
Thanks Shawna and Lacey. I feel better about saying no to more. And i think i will be more assertive about saying no i don't want that more.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Thanks, i needed that.
I am definatly going to put my foot down and say NO MORE! we can't. I did a re-count last night and we've now invited 156 people. We planned on only having 120 when we started this. I have no more invitations.
I am so bad for letting people push me arround. I hate knowing i'm hurting someones feelings. I definatly won't even realize that these people are there i know. They wont change the day. I can understand sending an invite to a forgotten family member. But i felt so pressured by Mark's mom. She seemed really anoyed that we forgot the old friends. Mark really wanted to send them an invite now.
There are a number of RSVP's that are still out there un-responded to. Some i know arn't coming and we've got about 10 already so hopefully we'll only have about 130 actually attend.
I am really hoping that i don't even see all the people there. I will loose my voice because i will be so emotional that i am getting married, but being nervous about everyone eles watching will make it worse.
Thanks Shawna and Lacey. I feel better about saying no to more. And i think i will be more assertive about saying no i don't want that more.

I'm telling you Jenn! You don't even notice those other people there! For me there were only three people in the room that day, me, my DH and the officiant!! I swear to you, you won't notice them, because the minute you see Mark, everyone else will melt away!! :)

[LaceyinPgh]

Trust me, the first time you tell someone to cram it is really the hardest. After that it just becomes second nature. I understand you wanting to be nice. But you seem to have a lot of unwanted stress and misery from trying to be nice. The only person whose happiness that you are 100% responsible for is your own. Don't be afraid of hurting poeple. Humans have evolved over the course of millions of years. In that time we have all developed an ability to get over it when someone doesn't do something that we want them too.

[AllyM1]

I'm sort of having a problem like you. I just have people sending their RSVP's back with more than themselves included.

I also have heard from other people that a couple people I invited have been saying they don't care about the ceremony, they just want to eat and dance. This really infuriates me because now I want to just tell them not to come!

[Jenn060306]

I'm sort of having a problem like you. I just have people sending their RSVP's back with more than themselves included.

I also have heard from other people that a couple people I invited have been saying they don't care about the ceremony, they just want to eat and dance. This really infuriates me because now I want to just tell them not to come!

Ohhh that is terrible! I couldn't imagine not wanting to go to the ceramony. I really get fustrated that people don't seem to realize how much weddings cost.

For me its $100 extra for each extra person. So i'm feeling a little like i don't want to invite more even though my parents are paying for the reception. And.... i really hate the idea of having people i don't know there. It makes me a little crazy when i hear that a friend is looking for a date. It seems like they are looking for one just because they are allowed to bring one.

[Shawna Bride]

It's really frustrating when people don't take in to consideration the cost of a wedding.
We had some people who we invited, without guest, and they brought guests. Then we had 4 people in total who never showed up!!!!! I mean, we had to pay for thier meal regardless if they showed up or not. 1 of those 4 gave us a present still, the other ones didn't.
So rude!

Good luck Jen with these crazy people.

[WhiskeyGirl]

It's really frustrating when people don't take in to consideration the cost of a wedding.
We had some people who we invited, without guest, and they brought guests. Then we had 4 people in total who never showed up!!!!! I mean, we had to pay for thier meal regardless if they showed up or not. 1 of those 4 gave us a present still, the other ones didn't.
So rude!

Good luck Jen with these crazy people.

I hear ya! We also had 4 people say they woudl be there then they didn't show up! And then my cousin brought his b*tchy girl friend who I had never met and she showed up in some sloppy shirt and jeans! I wanted to physically remove her but **** if the girl was four times the size of me!! So I guess in the end we only ended up paying 300 bucks for the 3 people who didn't show up!! I hate it when people don't show up and they don't even send a note saying they are sorry and why! To this day (nine months later) I still don't know why my cousins didn't show up!! Grrr! And I'm not about to call them because they stole money from my grandmother and my mom and all her sisters!!!

[Jenn060306]

I hear ya! We also had 4 people say they woudl be there then they didn't show up! And then my cousin brought his b*tchy girl friend who I had never met and she showed up in some sloppy shirt and jeans! I wanted to physically remove her but **** if the girl was four times the size of me!! So I guess in the end we only ended up paying 300 bucks for the 3 people who didn't show up!! I hate it when people don't show up and they don't even send a note saying they are sorry and why! To this day (nine months later) I still don't know why my cousins didn't show up!! Grrr! And I'm not about to call them because they stole money from my grandmother and my mom and all her sisters!!!

My jaw dropped when i read this. Sloppy T-shirt?! What did she think she was going to tracker pull?! If someone showed up that way to my wedding i would be looking for Ashton Kutcher thinking i was being Punked or somthing!
I'm wondering if anyone will not show up. I would be so annoyed that i have to pay all this extra money for nothing. As it is i have a few friends who have RSVP'd with guest. But haven't found a guest yet. Fine.... but i will be livid if that guest backs out at the last min. That happend to my FMiL. 2 days before a guest said they were bringing someone then on the day of.... no guest. :censored: I'm still feeling kinda grumpy about the number of RSVP's that i have not seen yet. And the fact that some of them i KNOW won't be attending! If you know you have a prior engagement when you get the invite.... then fill out the no and pop it back in the mail box. No big deal!
I've had a few people RSVP no who have now been able to make it, and i have a few that if they can great but i don't expect them too like my Aunt and Mark's grandfather. As long as i have all the numbers by the 25th.... good. I don't want to be madly trying to get everything together the sunday before my final meeting with the caterer/reception co-ordinator.