My niece's 1st soccer game

[WebLady]

It was yesterday morning and she didn't even want to play. She was whining and crying saying she didn't want to play and that it was too hard and the other kids wouldn't let her have the ball.

She is 4 and the youngest on a team of other 5 and 6 years old kids. Plus she has never played a sport so she doesn't understand the concept; but she has to learn. I feel bad that she was so upset, but I am a little embarrassed too; ok maybe not embarrassed, but disappointed maybe ... she is a bit spoiled.

I feel bad that my sister paid $80 for her to play and now she doesn't want to. Of course we all want her to learn to share, to play on a team and all, but you can't force her or she will never want to ... but we don't want to give in to her either. So my sister is torn as to whether or not they should go back or if they should just call it a loss.

Me; I just wonder if maybe soccer was too much to try at first. For one, she is the youngest on the team and the other kids seem much more into it. The whole thing reminds me of gym class when I was in school where all the boys would take over and not let the girls play.

Anyone have any similar experiences or advice to share?

[bichonlvr]

Honestly, it stinks she is the youngest on the team. HOWEVER, it is a great lesson for her and being on a team like that will teach her so many valuable skills for her in life, sharing, team work, etc. Hopefully, the coach is good enough to see that she is not getting the ball and work with the team on those skills.

My guess is she will love it in the end...

[WebLady]

Yeah, but what do you do when she just sits there and cries? You can't force her to play, but we don't want to allow her to be a brat and whine and cry when she doesn't get her way either.

She was more upset when the coach and team mom wouldn't let us sit with her. How are you going to ask a 4 yr old to sit by herself with a bunch of people she hardly knows when she is already upset?

I don't know; part of me thinks it should be more about learning to play together rather than actually playing the sport at this young age. Why not let everyone have a chance to get the ball; teach them it is fun and to share and be a team and all first. Plus they have only had 3 or 4 "practices" before this first game. And the other team had to be 6 and 7 yr olds and they were way better ... just all seems too much for such a young kid, but what do I know :p I have only seen one practice and then this game and my niece wasn't happy either time.

[Jenna5366]

I saw a mom do this at DS's first few soccer games/practices; she let him not play if he didn't want to, but Mom told him that she wanted to watch the other kids play. So, he sat with her, and watched. He realized how much fun he was missing out on, and he ended up joining in. It seemed to work for him; why not give it a shot with your niece?

[caligal85]

I've had three nephews and one niece go through this and now two of my boss's daughters. With one of my nephews, we forced him to go and didn't coddle him because even at that young age, he'd already started the habit of "well if I cry hard enough I won't have to do it" and was kind of becoming a quitter. Now, he's the star of the team and plays three different positions extremely well. My niece learned to be excited by watching her older brothers. Now with my youngest nephew, the latest one to go through t-ball extravaganza, he needed a different approach. He's a bit spoiled and will just flat out refuse to do things. My brother had to be right there with him until he finally caught on that he didn't need dad to have fun. Although, that actually took, oh most of the season.

I don't think there's any great solution. I do think, though, that allowing her to quit isn't a good idea. Maybe have mom have a word with the coach about her concerns, but it's only for one season and unless the coach is really bad, your niece will learn great lessons, if only the lesson of sticking things out.

[bichonlvr]

Kids are kinda like dogs, they "read" emotion etc. So if you guys make it seem like everything is awesome, she will sense that. If she thinks you guys are upset she will be upset.

Why did your sis enroll her in such an advanced league? Maybe try finding one that is for younger kids.

[WebLady]

Why did your sis enroll her in such an advanced league? Maybe try finding one that is for younger kids.It is usppose to be a beginners league and she was told she would be on a beginners team with kids her age.

Other than one or two that must be getting help at home, her team mates are beginners too, but they are all 5 and 6 and D is the only 4 yr old.

The coach talks about it being fun for them and teaching them and all, but the game was not what I expected. Plus the other team was obviously better; why they had to play against the new new I don't know.

[rainbowtreat]

I only got my kids into sports and scouts if they brought it to me. My son was in kindergarden when he wanted to do T-Ball. He was a young one. Turned 5 mid summer. So he didn't turn 6 until after t-ball was over. My daughter didn't do anything that young. She is on her 2nd year of soccer and she is 9 yrs. old. She was the only one on her team last year that had never played before. Her coached asked that and made sure she understood everything.

I told both of them that if I am paying the money for this sport then you have to play the season out. You don't have to play again if you don't want to but you do have to play the full season. For one I had to pay for this and two, the team depends on them. My son undertood this even at 5 yrs. old.

I am not sure how to deal with a 4 yr old in this. Did she say she wanted to play or did your sister want her to play? Did she ask her about it before hand?

My daughter wants to play an intrument this year in school. The same thing goes for here there. You play out the year if you don't want to do it againt that is ok.

Come to think of it. My daughter did dance when she was 4 I think. She liked it at first then just lost interest in it. This was something we paid weekly for. She kept going until the dance teacher said that she was showing no interest in it and that maybe she not come any more.

Hope your sister does the best for her.

[WebLady]

I talked to my neice today (she calls me every now and then ;)) and she mentioned if I was coming to her practice this Thursday. Then I talked to my sister and she said that she seemed to still want to go. So I guess we will see how it goes.