evil evil FH brother and his wife

[hummingbird521]

I have been livng with my fiance for over a month now. his brother and his wife have been living there for almost 2 years now and have been suposed to be looking for a place and moving out. they have finally taken my FH seriously and rented a place. but will be unable to have the money to actually move into it till one week before our wedding. That part doesn't bother me so bad. The part however that does is that they have the master bedroom while my FH and i have been sleeping with our bed in the laundry room. Now i am a patient person, i truly am. But all i asked at this point is for them since not being able to physically move themselves out is to move them into the laundry room and let me finish unpacking my boxes of all my bedroom things. i agreed to let them have the rest of this week to continue living in our master bedroom, but asked nicely for them to start packing their things together and next week to start the process of moving them into the laundry room. for this i was called a greedy selfish *****. my FH stood up for me as he should and the problems started. This all happened last night. i dread going home tonight. I have been more than nice to both of them. he is gone out working on the road most of the time. She however doesn't work and stays home all day long doing nothing. I have been cooking, cleaning and doing dishes after her like one of my children. I have tried my best to ignore it and keep up my good spirits for my FH sake. but i can't any longer. At this point in time i am ready to move out and into a motel down the road until the wedding date. I am happy otherwise, but wish they would grow up and move on. They have the money to move out now, but instead chose to take a vacation this next week with that money. this severly upset me, but i kept my mouth shut. My own home doesn't feel like mine. Most of my things are still in boxes packed away. They seem to have no respect for my FH as they have been sponging off of him as i said for almost two years. now that i am in the picture they are making me miserable because i am pushing the issue of them moving on with their life and my FH and I will be able to move on with ours. My FH agrees with me that they have had more than enough time to move on and out. But they hardly recognize anything he says or asks them to do. Large family discussion coming tonight when i get home. My FH called me earlier to let me know about it. He said he is handling the problem once and for all tonight. I am so stressed out from this. I don't want to even go home till they are moved out.

[CindySue]

Im sorry you are having to go through all of this, but how did they end up with the master bedroom to begin with?

[WhiskeyGirl]

Im sorry you are having to go through all of this, but how did they end up with the master bedroom to begin with?

I have to agree on that one Cindy! :)

[MOB Karen]

I have been livng with my fiance for over a month now. his brother and his wife have been living there for almost 2 years now and have been suposed to be looking for a place and moving out. they have finally taken my FH seriously and rented a place. but will be unable to have the money to actually move into it till one week before our wedding. That part doesn't bother me so bad. The part however that does is that they have the master bedroom while my FH and i have been sleeping with our bed in the laundry room. Now i am a patient person, i truly am. But all i asked at this point is for them since not being able to physically move themselves out is to move them into the laundry room and let me finish unpacking my boxes of all my bedroom things. i agreed to let them have the rest of this week to continue living in our master bedroom, but asked nicely for them to start packing their things together and next week to start the process of moving them into the laundry room. for this i was called a greedy selfish *****. my FH stood up for me as he should and the problems started. This all happened last night. i dread going home tonight. I have been more than nice to both of them. he is gone out working on the road most of the time. She however doesn't work and stays home all day long doing nothing. I have been cooking, cleaning and doing dishes after her like one of my children. I have tried my best to ignore it and keep up my good spirits for my FH sake. but i can't any longer. At this point in time i am ready to move out and into a motel down the road until the wedding date. I am happy otherwise, but wish they would grow up and move on. They have the money to move out now, but instead chose to take a vacation this next week with that money. this severly upset me, but i kept my mouth shut. My own home doesn't feel like mine. Most of my things are still in boxes packed away. They seem to have no respect for my FH as they have been sponging off of him as i said for almost two years. now that i am in the picture they are making me miserable because i am pushing the issue of them moving on with their life and my FH and I will be able to move on with ours. My FH agrees with me that they have had more than enough time to move on and out. But they hardly recognize anything he says or asks them to do. Large family discussion coming tonight when i get home. My FH called me earlier to let me know about it. He said he is handling the problem once and for all tonight. I am so stressed out from this. I don't want to even go home till they are moved out.

I'm sorry to have to say this, Hummingbird, but you allowed this to happen. If you want it to stop, you are the only person that can make that happen. JMO Good luck!

[brewsells]

I agree with the others. I'm not sure I understand how you ended up in the laundry room in your own house...

[WhiskeyGirl]

Ok these are probably not the answers you wanted, but we don't sugar coat things here! The only way you are going to make this better is to remove their cr@p while they are on their holiday! IF they can afford a holiday then they can afford their own place! Let them come home to find the locks changed and all of their sh*t on the front step! Thats laying down the law!!!!

Show them the door!!

[WebLady]

Ok these are probably not the answers you wanted, but we don't sugar coat things here! The only way you are going to make this better is to remove their cr@p while they are on their holiday! IF they can afford a holiday then they can afford their own place! Let them come home to find the locks changed and all of their sh*t on the front step! Thats laying down the law!!!!

Show them the door!!

Yeah if it was MY house and these people were doing this to me after I helped them out and gave them amble opportunity to move on their own ... I would probably move them myself.

But I still am confused about how you and your FH are sleeping in the laundry room if this is your house and they are staying with you :bbconfused:

If you don't want to go home (I probably wouldn't either, I hate confrontation, but I will stand up when I have to) then tell your FH that. Tell him it is his family and he needs to deal with it and you are not putting up with it anymore.

I am bad, I don't think I would let someone move in with me.

:goodluck:

[CindySue]

I have been livng with my fiance for over a month now. his brother and his wife have been living there for almost 2 years now and have been suposed to be looking for a place and moving out.
They may be giving you a hard time because theyve been there a lot longer than you. Doesnt make it right but still. I dont know how long yall have been together total, or how much cr@p (cr@p) your FH allowed them to pull before you moved in, but this is a touchy situation. They could be looking at it as theyve been there 2 years and youve come in and in a month want to change everything. This may be what you and your FH want, but I could see how it might rub someone the wrong way.
Also if you understand WHY they have been acting the way they have, it will help you deal with the situation better.
I would clean up after you and your FH, but not them. If you act like the maid, you WILL be treated like the maid.....been there and done that!
Maybe if we knew a little more about the story, we might could give better advice.
Good Luck Sweetie........sounds like you are going to need it!

[hummingbird521]

the reason they ended up in the master bedroom to begin with is because after my FH got his previous divorce about 2 1/2 years ago the brother came to him and asked if he could stay for awhile to get on his feet. My FH said yes and that at the time he could use the help with him paying a portion of the bills as well or $400.00 per month. It is not really the master bedroom it is the family room, but my FH was using it as the master bedroom. they asked him if he would move into one of the smaller rooms upstairs so they could have some privacy away from the kids. So FH agreed to this. My FH has been insisting they move for close to a year or more now. He and I have been dating for about one year. So he actually started asking them to move before i came into the picture. It wasn't until his brother had been living there about 1 year that he brought home his future wife. he came in for one week from work and had her with him and when he returned to go back to work just left her there. They were also told they could have one dog that they both had brought in from one of his trips working. But since have brought home 2 more. They bring them inside the house while we are gone and inside at night. they are large dogs and FH has repeatedly asked them to keep them outside. they do not listen to him. I know they have hard feelings toward me because if i had not come into the picture my FH would still continue to let them run over him in his own home. They for some reason do not respect him. My FH is very kind hearted (more so than I) and lets them take advantage of him. while we were dating i heard a lot of bitching from my FH with regards to the both of them. I know it is a hard situation and hopefully we can resolve it. but when we became engaged and i and my daughter moved in my FH sat the two of them down and told them they had to move on with their life and get a home of their own. After all it's not like they are young. his brother is 42 for gosh sake. In fact about 2 months prior to me moving in (which i was unaware of till recently) my FH told them to stop paying any portion of the bills and not to pay rent of any kind and for them to save this money to get them a place. That was about 3 1/2 months ago. More than enough time to find and save the money. But the sister in law runs to the mall every time she gets her check and spends it all. the brother sends home money for her to buy her groceries with and she spends this at the mall as well.

i don't actually cook for her. i cook for myself, daughter, FH and his two children. Then she breezes out of her room and fixes herself a plate, walks back into her room and later brings out the dirty dishes and leaves them in the sink. I have told her not asked her, but told her, i am not her maid. to do her own dishes, prepare her own meals using her own food and do her own laundry. It has hapenned once since i moved in. She does do her own laundry however, but she is home all day then waits till we come in from work and washes then. even though asked to do during the day. she does not buy her own laundry detergent either.

I am at my wit's end with it all. I have tried to let my FH handle matters. and he has to some extent. He layed down the law so to speak last week about them renting their own place. and as i said now they have. i said last night that while on their vacation i would do exactly what some of you suggested to me. i would pack all their things up and stick them on the curb and change the locks. I do not care if they are homeless when they return. My FH and I also go to the nextel cup racing (as they are) and know this is not a cheap vacation weekend. I also knew when I became engaged and moved in that they were there. No surprise to me about that. But what i am surprised about is the fact that even when given a deadline they always find some way around it, always come up with one excuse after another.

thanks to all of you for letting me vent. and making me feel better. i am still unsure as to whether i want to sit through the "family meeting" or not. but 1/2 scared if i don't that they will not take my FH seriously without my presence. but i have decided today that no one will make me feel bad for being in my own home. i will not cower and hide from them. i fight for what is mine. and if that is what it takes then so be it.

[MOB Karen]

OMG, Hummingbird, it gets worse and worse every time you post. Those people are taking serious advantage of you and your FH. They have no intention of moving on until you force them to move on. I feel really bad for you. I wish I could go over there and do it for you. I kinda know how you feel because they are really pissing me off and I don't even know them. All I can say again is, don't allow them to do this to you. Kick them to the curb, girlfriend!! Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.

[CindySue]

Ok Girl......Now we are getting somewhere!!!! Its sounds like you have done the right thing by stopping them from trying to take advantage of you and your FH. You have put your foot down and thats a good thing.....of course you know you will more than likely catch ALL the blame for this.....just because youre the "newbie". I would most definitely go to the 'family meeting'. I would also give my opinion on how I feel. Put the laundry soap where she cant find it, even if you have to take it with you every day.....she will get the hint. When you fix dinner, fix all the plates and put the rest up. Dont leave it out on the stove for her to come get. Sure she can still get it out of the frig, but she will have to work for it! As for as putting their stuff out by the curb, serves them right....as long as your FH agrees with you on this.
Best of Luck!

[Jenn060306]

That sounds terrible! I am so sorry that you have to deal with that kinda cr@p.
My thoughts are, if you really don't want to attend the family meeting maybe you shouldn't you haven't been living there too long. But, at the same point. Soon you will be apart of the family. So it may be best to deal with these problems now.
I think they should be given a deadline to move out by a certain date. Make it firm, you and your FH will have to stand up to this and not let them abuse you. Tell them before they leave to go away that they have to be out by a certain date. If they try to suggest that they don't have enough money let them know that you will not take that as an answer because they are going away on a holiday. Possibly offer them help in setting up a budget so they can put away as much as possible for first and last months rent.

Good luck! I hope it all works out for you. And DO NOT let these people use you guys anymore.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Ok Girl......Now we are getting somewhere!!!! Its sounds like you have done the right thing by stopping them from trying to take advantage of you and your FH. You have put your foot down and thats a good thing.....of course you know you will more than likely catch ALL the blame for this.....just because youre the "newbie". I would most definitely go to the 'family meeting'. I would also give my opinion on how I feel. Put the laundry soap where she cant find it, even if you have to take it with you every day.....she will get the hint. When you fix dinner, fix all the plates and put the rest up. Dont leave it out on the stove for her to come get. Sure she can still get it out of the frig, but she will have to work for it! As for as putting their stuff out by the curb, serves them right....as long as your FH agrees with you on this.
Best of Luck!

I'd do exactly what Cindy said! Stop that witch in her tracks! Put a lock and key on the refrigerator if you have to!! Stand in her way, take your laundry soap with you, put her dishes in a seperate plastic container...if she doesn't wash them put them in on her bed! Make her life a living hell and she'll be begging to move out!! Stand up and fight don't lay down and die! Go to that meeting and kick some butt!! :)

[hummingbird521]

progress report:

got home last night around 6 pm. had to make some stops on the way, got here much later than anticipated. talk already in progress between FH and Brother. Sister in law hiding out in room. So i joined in. Brother not happy at all. too bad i thought. FH told him they have to change rooms, like it or not on Monday when get back from their vacation. Lots of talk about how unfair it is and how impatient I am. FH told them sternly not their business, but i am not impatient, we both are ready to progress in our relationship and that we still have much unpacking and planning to do. brother tried insisting the dogs get to come in or his wife would be devastated. FH told him NO, he doesn't care if she cries her head off, his house his rules and this time they will abide. Starting next week as well when they get the first months rent paid and have a key to their place FH will move their furniture for them. Till then they will move into the laundry room with a twin bed and no television. not enough room. FH told his brother that when he is not here that sister in law treats me as a maid and her mother, and she will no longer do this. she has to clean her own messes and so on and so forth. needless to say neither of them were happy campers. the only time i opened my mouth was to back him up. until the brother told me how impatient i am and how he doesn't see the need for us to be in such a hurry. FH told him that is none of his concern, he is head of household and they are going to do as they are told or otherwise they can leave not and not take the extra two weeks he allowed them to take. things quieted down at that point. but only for a few minutes. then FH called the sister in law out of her room and point blank asked her in front of brother why she talked with my daughter and put her in the middle upsetting her about our adult decisions. she had asked my daughter why mom was a ***** and impatient. she looked flabbergasted and denied it. FH told her no denying what she had done and he expects an apoligy made to me or they could and would leave now. apoligy given, but not forgiven. no more dogs in house from this weekend on for the two weeks they have left here. so at this point all is well. but i have this sneaky little suspicion that truth be told that in all actuality they have not put a deposit on anyplace. otherwise wouldn't you want to start packing your things and moving them? i might be wrong and god help me i hope i am, but i just have this gut feeling about things sometimes. FH told them that he has been more than patient with them for about 2 years and his patience had ran out. He is tired of being caught in the middle so to speak and his fiance comes first no matter who or what the problem is. I was so proud of him for this. he also said he does not have to justify anything he tells them from this point on, just do whatever is asked no questions regarding it.

i am off work today and home with them. so we shall see how it goes. not hiding out, but standing and fighting if necessary for what is mine and what is ours. so wish me luck everyone. and thanks for the listening. i will continue to keep you all posted on it as it develops.

treasia

[CindySue]

Sounds like you have a great man. Im glad he stood his ground and defended you. That will make things alot easier.
Your FSiL saounds extremely lazy and that could explain the no packing. If the place inst ready, that may be why they havent saterted moving things in. The deposit will just hold it for them till it is ready. If they didnt put the deposit down, then I guess they are just S-O-L, because they have been given a deadline.
Im glad to hear you are going to fight! If you continue to take their SH*T, they will continue to give it!
Good Luck!

[MOB Karen]

Ok, Treasia, it sounds like you guys have a grasp of it now. Your FH rocks! Don't let up though, or they won't leave when the two weeks are over. These type of people are like used luggage, they hang on forever. I'm glad you got those **** dogs out of your house too. Good luck!!!

[WebLady]

Glad you guys talked it out with them and hope it will all work out and they will be out of your hair soon.

[hummingbird521]

all seems to be well on course for now. they left on vacation and will return monday and pay the first months rent. at which time we will be moving their larger items out of the house and into their new one. they will also be moving into the laundry room and she will be staying in it. all is well and good for now. hope things continue at this rate. yippee!!!!! :bblol:

just don't want to get my hopes up to high. but you never know. i pray god this all works out for everyone involved.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Glad things are getting better Hun!! Take care!

[hummingbird521]

thanks for the help and suport. i really really like this site. everyone is so nice to me. thanks to all of you.

[WhiskeyGirl]

thanks for the help and suport. i really really like this site. everyone is so nice to me. thanks to all of you.

I'm glad you have found us!! Welcome to the site!! :)

[hummingbird521]

happy to give an update on the progress made.

they came in from their vacation yesterday around 10 am. i was in bed sick as a dog and didn't really care one way or another. but when i did manage to get myself out of bed i found out the dogs were once again in the house. was to sick at that point to even care. FH called later to check on me and told him after his asking about it. not happy that they once more disrespected him on this issue. by the time he got home they had taken the dogs back outside. and his brother had headed out for his job (will be gone for two weeks). my FH called him to find out if they had paid the rent and gotten the key to their new place. they have done that. yippee!!!!! so this week my FH is moving a lot of their things over there and we can start moving into our room. when i get the strength now to move into it. the sister in law is going on wednesday to turn on the utilities as well. so in the next two weeks they can and will be out. this is such a relief off of my mind and i can continue with the unpacking and fixing up of the house. or should i say we can continue the unpacking.

so this is my newest update. :bblol:

[MOB Karen]

Congratulations, Treasia! That's wonderful!!