No Bridesmaids?! HELP!

[AnAirmansGirl]

Is anyone else NOT having bridesmaid? or in other words no bridal party?
We are planning to invite roughly 50-75 people.
I just don't want to deal with the bridal party part.
I have been a bridesmaid three times. AND it was not fun :bbcry:

So my question is....Is it so wrong that my fh and I just want it us to be up there?

and 2nd question....How do I deal with the OMG...no bridesmaids....

and 3rd....how do I tell my friends that I not having bridesmaids....They are EXPECTING to be MOH and bridesmaids. and I know one of them is going to throw a HUGE fit :censored:

[snowflakebride]

1) Nope, not wrong at all. It's your wedding and it sounds like on your end, there will be unnecessary drama among your friends, so you're saving yourself a lot of stress.

2) Shrug it off. You may get a lot of "OMG's!" on your wedding decisions. In the end, it's about whatever makes you happy.

3) Take pictures of their reactions when you tell them you aren't having any, because I have a feeling we'd love to see them. ;)

If they bring it up, just tell them "I'm not having a bridal party". If they flip out, let them know it's best for you and your FH to stand up alone. If it goes beyond that, don't let yourself get pressured into it. Stick to your guns. "I'm not having a bridal party. End of discussion."

[amisteratwisterandme]

We will do something similar to this, with the exceptions of having my sister and his brother stand up with us. I am doing this to avoid having too many people upset with me. I have three neices that are in their early 20's and 3 best friends that would all expect to be in it. Because I don't want a huge wedding, I chose to go with just my sister next to me.

But, we have also decided that he won't be waiting at the alter for me, we will go up together, as we plan on going through our lives together.

So I have just told my friends and family that we are keeping it very small and intimate for the ceremony, but I would love for them to help me get everything organized and set up. This way they are still intimately involved with everything.

If anyone is upset with me they haven't said anything.

[mitch]

We're not having BM's. Even though FH has Four Daughters. We never asked them and they never asked us to be a BM.

Only thing we'll be having is Two Witnesses required by UK Law to sign the Registry. They can wear what they like. I don't have to worry about getting them suited and booted. The Finances at left at a Minimum for Us and all is good in the world.

At the end of the Day it is FH and Myself getting Married if We stand up as Two or stand next to the Five Thousand. It's what is a Personal Preference. And everyone repects Our Wishes.

I can't see any problem with it Myself. Your friends might go off the deep end at You for a while. But they will soon calm down and realise it's YOUR Day

Good Luck.

[MrsGrady08]

Believe me I was in your shoes about 9 months ago.

We did not have a wedding party. All we had was RB and FG and two ushers. But no one stood up with us. We relly didn't see the piont of having them. Its just more money to spend. And what do they do anyways...stand there and are in a few pictures. And there are several other ladies on here that did not have one either. So your not the only one and NO its not wrong to not have a wedding party.

Trust me you will get a Lot of "WHAT no BRIDESMAIDS!", "WHY!", "You HAVE to have a wedding party". It got to a point that I was in tears a couple of times because I was so stressed out and a couple of people would not let it go. But you just have to shrug it off and just remember it is your wedding no one elses.

Just tell everyone this is what you want to do for your wedding. And that the wedding is about you two not any one else so you just want it to be you two up there. And if there are a few people you want to include have some do things like stand at the guest book, ushers, handing out favors/programs, sign certificate, serve cake...ect. If they still have a problem with it then just tell them you want every one to relax and enjoy you day and not miss out on anything because they are too busy doing something else.

I was SOOOOO stressed out about this too. Because I was worried what everyone would think. But now that its over im glad we mad the choice not to have a wedding party. It cuts out so much stress and money, which is a good thing:D. And no one has said anything about it since. Even a few people thought it was nice and different.

[RosieAngel]

There were several people here, including TangoWedding (though I know that there are more, Tango is the one who is coming to mind), who didn't have any bridal parties, and it seemed to eliminate much of the wedding stress most people complain about in the Stresses and Vents forums. I've been here awhile, and BMs seem to be the #2 stressor after FMILs.

So enjoy your weding planning and don't worry about it!

I've been a bridesmaid a bunch of times too. Parts of it were a lot of fun, but the ugly dresses and plastic hairstyles I was required to foot the bill for still make me want to scream.

[tortoisegirl]

I think it's great. I would of totally not had a wedding party if it wasn't important for my fh to have a best man and groomsmen, and I wanted it to look even. With that "few" of guests, it can be more of an intimate ceremony anyways.

Don't worry about what people think--it is a special day for the two of you. But, I'd suggest trying to include the girls in your life that could feel left out--maybe take them out to lunch or something (since you won't have to get them bridesmaid gifts anyways) and talk about your reasons not to do it, and how you plan to involve them (have them help you shop, decorate or set up, etc). No one should ever expect to be part of your wedding, unless you have been telling them this. Nowadays, it is not a given that people will be having a traditional wedding in all senses.

I'm having bridesmaids, but aren't asking anything from them except to show up for the rehearsal right before the wedding. They are wearing something they hopefully already own or would wear again. I've never had to be a bridesmaid, and am glad. I think the whole idea of having to buy a dress and whatever accessories are picked out for you is crazy. It's bad enough all our friends will have to travel to our wedding since we now live away from them.

[mobdilemma]

We will do something similar to this, with the exceptions of having my sister and his brother stand up with us.
That is what my daughter and her husband did. There was just a Maid of honor (her sister) and a Best Man (his brother). There were no flower girls or ring bearers, either. It was BEAUTIFUL! Any more attendants would have been overkill, I think, since it was a small wedding (40 people).

[acidcookie]

We have no bridal party and ... haven't had any problems. Of course it can just be you and FH! Not everyone wants or needs bridesmaids! Are you anticipating any trouble because of this decision? I don't think we've heard a word about it. We've told numerous people that we're not having a bridal party and no one has so much as blinked. I think it's actually LESS to deal with.

If you are not having any bridesmaids or MOH then at least all your friends are on equal ground! It's not like you're picking one friend over another. Tell them you'd rather have them come and enjoy the wedding as a guest. If they throw a fit then I don't know. But you're not doing anything wrong.

[bichonlvr]

I would just say...we are not having a bridal party! Your friends are your friends! I think it is easier to just not have any then pick 1 or 2!

[gwenshack]

I think you'll be better off. I have people mad at me left, right and sideways because I only picked 2 people (my best friend, who I've stood up for twice, and my brother). No matter who you pick somebody else will get mad. If you pick nobody they'll get over it a lot faster - because at least you didn't pick somebody ELSE over them. :)

[Rainbow Brite]

No bridal party here, and nobody blinked an eye when we said that's what we were doing. If they had, I would've told 'em to kiss it...lol. It eliminated SO MUCH stress I've seen other brides deal with and made the ceremony much more intimate. It was about DH and me and that's it.

[RippinKittin]

Yeah I agree. There's nothing wrong with not having any bride's maids. I almost chose to do the same since I don't have many female friends but went with my sister and a friend who i have known since i was 5. Too boot my sister doesn't even want to be in the bridal party. That's fine I might substitute her for my ferret! j/k.

[mitch]

Ahhh I'm seeing Double.

This thread is under "Uniquely You" too.

Mods Merge Please :D

[fireprincess2009]

At first we were going to have no bridal party. Then I decided that I needed to have a MOH so that someone would be there to tell me if something was in my teeth before I walked down the aisle or to catch me when I pass out!:petrified: so I picked my best friend. Part of me was concerned that my sisters or friends would feel left out, but really, who wants to deal with some ugly dress they most certainly would NOT ever wear again :winktongue:

Instead, I'm involving the special ladies in my life in other ways - like having fun. Don't let what other people say get to you. It's bound to happen a million times before it's all over. Make your day what YOU want!

[Samhain Bride]

Now that I think about it I wish I would of never asked for people to be in my bridal party. Too much drama! Ohhh if I could take it back :winktongue:

[candars]

Two of my original bms didn't work out, my other two bms (my sisters) gave me some problems, too. But it all worked out. I don't see anything wrong with not having any bridesmaids. They can really be a pain sometimes! And, it will be much easier for you to not have to deal with the hassle of having bms. Plus, it's your wedding! Do whatever you want to do and don't worry about the people that don't agree with you. Good luck, sweetie! :D

[BarceloMayaPalaceBride]

I'd say, it's your wedding and it's your choice whether or not you want a bridal party. We're having my sister & brother, his 2 brothers and my best friend be our wedding party. There is one more guy than girl, but it's all family. I have heard horror stories about bridal parties, and I don't blame you for wanting to cut out on the drama. It's totally your choice! :D

[Tommy'sBride]

FH and I aren't having bridesmaids or groomsmen. We are having a flower girl and possibly a ring bearer.

The moment I announced we were getting married I heard so many people talking about being bridesmaids that we both decided to just not have any and not have to deal with the stress of it all. My mom thought it was a great idea. FH's mom wasn't so thrilled. She's much more into tradition than FH and I are. We figure it's our wedding and we can and should be able to plan it the way we want it.

[Aleta]

We have a Best Man and Matron of Honor, no other bridal party. It's less stressful with a smaller party, but it also means you have less help. I suppose it's a toss up. If anyone asks you why no bridal party, just say that you couldn't choose between your friends who would be the maid of honor and therefore, figured it would be easier not to have to choose. Something of that nature. People will get over it.

[janet 78]

We are having no attendants. Wedding is outdoors (garden) and tiny so it makes sense for us. We haven't had a bit of flack about it EXCEPT one young cousin who has been repeatedly inviting herself into the wedding party since the day we got engaged.

For months I've been glad we were doing it this way but now I sometimes regret it simply because I could use the help of more attendants. We are going forward though, wedding is too soon to change at this point.

[MichelleB]

If they are your true friends they will respect your decision!

[GuardianAngel]

Honestly we had a Maid of honor, best man, bridesmaids, and groomsmen. I wish we just had the maid of honor and best man. My moh was the only one who helped me with anything and the only one who really threw me a party. I didn't get any help from my 3 bridesmaids. Many of my alter shots were messed up during ceremony because all my girls were huddled up but the guys were perfect.. If don't have them you'll save yourself money and stress.. You have to get more flowers, dresses, shoes, and so on..

[FutureMrsHenry]

We're having NO wedding party! Although we are fortunate to have wonderful friends and family, we just want it to be us. I am even carrying a pomandar instead of a bouquet, so I have nothing to hand off during the ceremony. I just want to focus on him and on what this means to us, not on everyone else, what they're going to wear, and how they're going to look!

Have what you want, and when people ask, let them know that this time is special to you and your fiance, and this is how you want it!

[latanyak85]

If it was left up to me I wouldnt have any either. But my fh has family members that he wants to be in the wedding. Its your wedding and I dont see anything wrong with no bm. Nothing is wrong with an intament wedding...I think its cute!


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[ladybizz]

No I am not having any either. I will just be me and my fh standing alone.

[springtimebride]

We are having a 'non-traditional' wedding party and non-traditional processional too: I will have three bridesmaids but they will just be walking up the aisle and taking a seat in their reserved seats in the 2nd row, behind my parents in the first row. They won't stand. (The BM's main roles in the wedding are around the party planning and PRE-wedding prep and the moral support so I don't get nervous and stuff :) We talked about it and they are agreeable to the plan. As for the groomsmen, there will be no groomsmen at all! My fiance didn't want them... so we didn't have any. And we are having FOUR little flower girls! They will walk up the aisle, then take a seat by their parents in the second row. They won't stand either. So it will just be my fiance and me up front, and the minister to perform the ceremony. Nice and simple! :)