Good men

[Kacie_bride]

Ladies, tonight hold on a little closer to your men and be thankful for him. Some aren't so lucky. I'm refering to one of my friends. The poor girl has a 4 year old and a baby due in late July/ early August and her husband left her 3 months ago. He just said he wasn't in love with her anymore. To make matters worse he's already getting to the dead beat dad status. He's not picking the little girl up on time and making excuses why he can't get her etc. He's also using the child to bad mouth her. So tonight, when Justin gets home, I plan on being more appreciative that I have someone like him. Not that I haven't been appreciative, but sometimes I think we all take what we have for granted. I know I'm young (23), but I always thought something was wrong with me when all of my friends were getting married really young. All of my close friends have been married for awhile now. I felt like the one left out. Now I'm thankful God waited a little longer because then I got Justin. Thank God I didn't marry one of those loosers I dated when I was 17 or 18 years old!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Thats exactly how I feel! If I had married my first serious bf (and we had discussed it!) I would now be living in a trailer park in my parent's town! Unhappy and alone!! Thank god we all have a certain destiny to our lives!! :)

[CindySue]

Well ladies, I DID marry someone I shouldnt have. Yes I suffered because of it, but that experience also made me a better person. I told Brian last night before we went to sleep, that I loved him soooo very much and felt God had really blessed me by sending me him.

[MOB Karen]

I picked the biggest loser when I married my one and only time. It turned me off to marriage permanently. You know, the kind of loser that doesn't want to take care of his own flesh and blood. It turns out that he never had another child either. Grrrrrrrrrrr!!! I had to raise my babies all by myself, but that's what women do when they marry losers. I feel the most badly for my kids because I didn't give them a wonderful father like I had. I know one thing though, the cycle is broken with Amber. She is going to marry someone who will be there for her and her future children no matter what. It's obvious because of the way he takes care of his son from a previous marriage. I'm so happy that she picked well.

[CindySue]

I picked the biggest loser when I married my one and only time. It turned me off to marriage permanently.
Yeah....Brian and I were both off marriage until we met. Neither of us EVER wanted to go through that BS again, but we could totally see ourselves married to eachother.

[MOB Karen]

You got really lucky, Cindy! Congrats to both of you for finding each other!

[countrygirl]

Well, I didn't marry the wrong guy, but I spend 9 years of my life with him. I am now 30, and getting married for the first time. I thank God everyday that he brought the two of us together!!!

[MOB Karen]

Well, I didn't marry the wrong guy, but I spend 9 years of my life with him. I am now 30, and getting married for the first time. I thank God everyday that he brought the two of us together!!!

Don't you wish you hadn't wasted 9 years on him, Heather?

[CindySue]

Don't you wish you hadn't wasted 9 years on him, Heather?
People think Im weird, because I dont see the 8 years spent with my ex as wasted. It was a major learning experience for me, as I learned a LOT about myself. Plus, I got 2 beautiful little boys out of that deal! That and I believe everyone I meet comes into my life for a purpose......even the bad people!

[Kacie_bride]

I can understand seeing that as a learning experience.

[MOB Karen]

People think Im weird, because I dont see the 8 years spent with my ex as wasted. It was a major learning experience for me, as I learned a LOT about myself. Plus, I got 2 beautiful little boys out of that deal! That and I believe everyone I meet comes into my life for a purpose......even the bad people!

The kids are definitely worth it though.

[countrygirl]

Don't you wish you hadn't wasted 9 years on him, Heather?

I agree w Cindy, it wasn't wasted because I now have a wonderful 6 year old little boy!! IT was a learning experience. I needed to find out what was acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship. I learned the hard way, but I learned, and now I have an amazing man that I get tp spend the rest of my life with.

[MOB Karen]

I agree w Cindy, it wasn't wasted because I now have a wonderful 6 year old little boy!! IT was a learning experience. I needed to find out what was acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship. I learned the hard way, but I learned, and now I have an amazing man that I get tp spend the rest of my life with.


Nine years is a long, hard lesson, that I wasn't willing to make. I gave him three years of my life and it was more than enough.

[CindySue]

Nine years is a long, hard lesson, that I wasn't willing to make. I gave him three years of my life and it was more than enough.
You see that was one of my lessons. I thought if it was more this or more that, if I did this and/or that, that things would be better. I thought I "could change him" but loving him enough. I put up with alot because I thought it would be my fault if it failed. I didnt change him, I changed myself. I learned that I couldnt "change" anybody.

[MOB Karen]

You see that was one of my lessons. I thought if it was more this or more that, if I did this and/or that, that things would be better. I thought I "could change him" but loving him enough. I put up with alot because I thought it would be my fault if it failed. I didnt change him, I changed myself. I learned that I couldnt "change" anybody.


I think women take way more of the blame if a relationship fails. And I think that's the reason that some women take far longer than others to finally get out. The sad thing is that sometimes the men that they leave take no responsiblity for the failure. They just move on and find another poor woman that is willing to put up with their sh*t. Then the cycle continues...

[tha_mrs]

either that,or they marry a woman that treats them like **** and they get to see how you felt with them.....plus more.

[countrygirl]

You see that was one of my lessons. I thought if it was more this or more that, if I did this and/or that, that things would be better. I thought I "could change him" but loving him enough. I put up with alot because I thought it would be my fault if it failed. I didnt change him, I changed myself. I learned that I couldnt "change" anybody.

That was exactly how I was Cindy. I could never do enough, or be good enough, it was always thinking that I could change things, and make him love me more. Lesson learned!!!!

[MOB Karen]

either that,or they marry a woman that treats them like **** and they get to see how you felt with them.....plus more.


I'm bad because, I never even consider that it could go both ways. I know that there are times that it could happen, but I "usually" always side with the women. The women are usually the ones being abused.

[countrygirl]

I'm bad because, I never even consider that it could go both ways. I know that there are times that it could happen, but I "usually" always side with the women. The women are usually the ones being abused.

Josh was in a relationship that was somewhat reveresed from mine. There wasn't reallyany abuse in his (some mental--hurtful things said), but similar. There were married because she got preg young, and he wanted to be a good father. He now has three kids. She cheated on him a few times, told him about them, but didn't leave because of the kids. He did the cooking, cleaning, 'rearing', and she was best friend w the couch when she was home. She filed for divorce when he came back from a year in Korea, and that is when we met.

Her loss.........................my ultimate gain.

[MOB Karen]

Josh was in a relationship that was somewhat reveresed from mine. There wasn't reallyany abuse in his (some mental--hurtful things said), but similar. There were married because she got preg young, and he wanted to be a good father. He now has three kids. She cheated on him a few times, told him about them, but didn't leave because of the kids. He did the cooking, cleaning, 'rearing', and she was best friend w the couch when she was home. She filed for divorce when he came back from a year in Korea, and that is when we met.

Her loss.........................my ultimate gain.

Wow, Heather, that gave me chills. How lucky for you and him!!!

[countrygirl]

Wow, Heather, that gave me chills. How lucky for you and him!!!

It really has beenwonderful. Neither of us were looking for someone, we both had kids, and were affraid that we wouldn't be able to find someone accepting out our kid(s), and now her we are. YIPPEE!!

[MOB Karen]

It really has beenwonderful. Neither of us were looking for someone, we both had kids, and were affraid that we wouldn't be able to find someone accepting out our kid(s), and now her we are. YIPPEE!!

You are truly blessed! It couldn't have happened to a better person!

[countrygirl]

Thank you very much Karen. I really have been blessed, and I thank God everyday!!

[CindySue]

It really has beenwonderful. Neither of us were looking for someone, we both had kids, and were affraid that we wouldn't be able to find someone accepting out our kid(s), and now her we are. YIPPEE!!
Thats me and Brian!!!!!

[countrygirl]

Thats me and Brian!!!!!

Then Congrats to you too Cindy, I know you have gone thru alot!

[CindySue]

Then Congrats to you too Cindy, I know you have gone thru alot!
What bothers me is seeing these young girls that remind me sooo much of myself years ago and they will be with these total jerks, but they havent seen it yet. They still think they can change them or that these self centered :censored: are willingly going to change for them. I cringe because I KNOW what they are going to go through and how bad they are going to hurt. And I know that its their lesson to learn. No one will be able to tell them anything because they HAVE to experience it for themselves. I know most will come out way better women, but the BS they will have to endure in the process makes me feel sooo sorry for them.
Now I know that some men have been jerks in their pasts and have strived to be better BFs/FHs/DHs, etc. You can usualy tell which are sincere and which arent.

[countrygirl]

What bothers me is seeing these young girls that remind me sooo much of myself years ago and they will be with these total jerks, but they havent seen it yet. They still think they can change them or that these self centered :censored: are willingly going to change for them. I cringe because I KNOW what they are going to go through and how bad they are going to hurt. And I know that its their lesson to learn. No one will be able to tell them anything because they HAVE to experience it for themselves. I know most will come out way better women, but the BS they will have to endure in the process makes me feel sooo sorry for them.
Now I know that some men have been jerks in their pasts and have strived to be better BFs/FHs/DHs, etc. You can usualy tell which are sincere and which arent.

RIGHT ON SISTER!!! I am totally with you on that.

[WebLady]

Well I was married before as well, (when I was 18, divorced by 24) lucky for me there were no kids to tie me to him. I don't 'hate' him and I definitely learned alot about myself and what I want and need from a relationship.

I am 32 now and married to a wonderful man that is my everything and our relationship is everything I could have ever hoped for. I have been in some bad relationships (and have known many woman that have) and I am glad I got through it and learned from it and I am a stronger and better person from the experiences. I am thankful everyday that I have a wonderful man in my life now.

I wish the best of everything to all of the ladies here! Don't put up with all the drama, don't settle just to have a man, don't jump into anything just because you feel pressured or think you have to ... and don't let anyone tell you that you are worthless or your hopes and dreams are stupid.

We are all special and unique and beautiful and deserve to have a healthy and loving relationship! I believe in true and lasting love! I truly believe that if you marry the right person for the right reasons then it can and usually will last a lifetime :D

Sorry I went off on a tangit there for a sec ;) Best wishes to everyone!