Rehersal Question

[ikkin510]

Steve's parents can't afford to put any money towards our wedding. And we are fine with that. FSIL is getting married a month and a half before us and they can't really afford any money towards that either. My mom is upset because she feels like she has to pay for the whole wedding so Future-ILs should be paying for the rehersal dinner. I tried to explain to her that they can't afford to so Steve and I would be doing it ourselves.
Here's the deal. Steve and I can't afford to pay for it ourselves either. We talked about just having it at our house and just doing hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, salad, etc. But I don't know if I want to have to worry about having my place clean to have all the people there (we could have about 40 people with everyone involved and their families.) Plus my parents, sister and MOH will be staying at my house then too.
I thought about just skipping the rehersal all together. Just sitting down with everyone and explaining how it's going to work. It's a pretty simple ceremony. Steve doesn't think that's the best idea, and I'm sure my mom will flip over that too.
Any one have any suggestions as to what we could do? Thanks!

[CindySue]

Well, Your hamburgers, etc. sound good and thats pretty cheap. I understand not having at your house, because Im kicking myself in the butt for agreeing to have our reception at ours. Anyway, if you furnished the food, drinks etc, could your in-laws let you do it at their house? They would be helping in a big way even if it isnt financially. Or you could do a public park type thing, one that allows outdoor grilling.
Hope i helped some! Good Luck!

[ikkin510]

I thought about the park idea, but I have the fear of rain. While I love rain, I don't like to plan events outdoors and have to worry about rain. I should talk with my FILs about having it at their house. Their house may be a little small for it though if it did rain and everyone would have to be inside.
Another idea I just had was doing it in the hall at the church, but they don't have a kitchen there and we can't grill. So it would all have to be pre-made stuff. My FIL would help with some of that, but I don't really think anyone else would.

[MOB Karen]

I think the Rehearsal Dinner is what you make it. If you don't want or have a lot to spend on it, then someone's house or the park would be the way to go. I think it would be a nice gesture for the in-laws to come through for you and at least host it since they can't pay for it.

It's so funny, Nikki, because Amber & I were just debating whether the expense of the Rehearsal Dinner is worth it. Especially if you don't need a lot of rehearsal for your wedding. We are going to go ahead and do it because Amber wants to have the whole experience of the wedding, rehearsal included. We're going to have ours at Buca di Beppo which is an italian restaurant here in Phoenix. Hopefully, it won't be too expensive. They have reasonable prices and the portions are huge.

[Shawna Bride]

How about a pot-luck rehersal dinner at your place, and the money you save from not paying for all the food and drinks, use it to get a cleaning lady (only $40). You can put some people in charge of drinks, some food, some appetizers.
Really, a rehersal dinner is not totally necessary. Ours wasn't worth it. You could always do a rehersal and then just coffee and dessert?

[WebLady]

...Really, a rehersal dinner is not totally necessary. Ours wasn't worth it. You could always do a rehersal and then just coffee and dessert?
I agree, if you're on a tight budget you don't really need a rehearsal dinner. Though I DO think you should do a rehearsal of the ceremony so everyone knows when and where to be and what to expect.

Good luck with everything!

[Shawna Bride]

One thing I did was type out the ceremony in detail and hand it out at the rehersal dinner. YOu could skip the rehersal dinner and just send everyone a copy of the details. Really, what do they need to practice, how to walk and when? You could just tell them that!

[countrygirl]

Hey Nikki,

We are having the rehersal dinner in a friend's backyard, and bbq'ing for that. It's cheap, and easy, and since it's really just the us, bridal party, and the parents, it won't be too overwhelming. THere is nothing wrong with doing it that way.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Our rehersal was a simple one. Grilled burgers and salads and deserts. My inlaws took care of it and it was fine. We did it outdoors and then if it had rained we could have moved into the garage. Do your inlaws have a car garage on their house? If it rains you move out the cars and sweep it out, ptu some picnic tables in it and voila! Otherwise, I'm not sure what more you can do being on a budget that is tight, its impossible to go to a resturaunt! (My Inlaws suggested a resturaunt and I hated the idea! Thought it was TOO formal!!) I hope you can figure something that works for you! Talk to your mom and your inlaws and explain to them that money is tight for you and you need ideas on where you can host your rehersal dinner! If you need a rehersal for the ceremony (I thank God that we did!) then maybe just do it in the afternoon and do coffee and deserts. That could always work too!! :wink:

[countrygirl]

..........then maybe just do it in the afternoon and do coffee and deserts. That could always work too!! :wink:

That is a great idea too!!!

[ikkin510]

I like the idea of coffee and dessert after the rehersal. A lot of people are from out of town. We were thinking of having a late rehersal, like 7 or 730. That way everyone has time to travel up after they get out of work on Friday. Guess I shouldn't have to worry about feeding them a meal if we do have it that late. That way I could just do it right at the church and save myself the trouble of cleaning.
I also like the idea of just giving everyone a print out of the service with little notes of when to have them do what and scratching the whole rehersal. But the more I think about it, it's probably less stressful to know for a fact that everyone is 100% sure of what they have to do.
Thanks for the ideas. I'll talk with Steve and our parents and see what they all say.

[countrygirl]

I like the idea of coffee and dessert after the rehersal. A lot of people are from out of town. We were thinking of having a late rehersal, like 7 or 730. That way everyone has time to travel up after they get out of work on Friday. Guess I shouldn't have to worry about feeding them a meal if we do have it that late. That way I could just do it right at the church and save myself the trouble of cleaning.
I also like the idea of just giving everyone a print out of the service with little notes of when to have them do what and scratching the whole rehersal. But the more I think about it, it's probably less stressful to know for a fact that everyone is 100% sure of what they have to do.
Thanks for the ideas. I'll talk with Steve and our parents and see what they all say.

Good luck w it Nikki. Let us know how it goes!!

[WhiskeyGirl]

I really think you should practice things! I was thinking we didn't need a rehersal but when it came down to it, if we hadn't, we would all have looked like a bunch of boobs if we hadn't! lol :wink: No body woulda known where to go and such!!

[tha_mrs]

We Are On A Tight Budget Too, And So We Are Having Spagetti Bake, Rolls,and Salad. A Lady From The Couples Ministry At Church Is Going To Make It. And The Rehearsal Dinner Will Be Down Stairs At Church.so, It Will Be Pre-cooked And It Will Be Set Up With Pans And Burnners.

[ikkin510]

Sometimes I just don't understand my mom. I just talked to her about the idea of just doing a dessert rehearsal dinner. She said she was fine with that. Then proceded to tell me that for her wedding that's what they did since they didn't have money. They went back to my grandmother's (HER mom's) and had strawberry shortcake and coffee. Ok, so why did she have such a problem with FILs not having a big part in the dinner? My dad's parents did have a big part in it?! Whatever. I love my mom, but she sure does confuse me!
So far so good. I'll run the idea past Steve and his parents tonight. But I think we are just going with the desserts at the church after a rehearsal.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE HELP!!!

[Jenn060306]

I have to agree that either a coffee/tea and desserts in the afternoon or pot-luck would be your best bet. If you can do it in the church hall then even better. I understand not wanting to have everyone over to your house. I don't think i would have the time or energy to get my house to my liking for guests then either.
Good Luck!

[Kacie_bride]

You could do the dessert thing, but also you could chips and dip. That is super easy. You can buy onion dip and queso is super easy to make. All you need is a crock pot. Everyone likes chips and dip it seems.

[countrygirl]

You could do the dessert thing, but also you could chips and dip. That is super easy. You can buy onion dip and queso is super easy to make. All you need is a crock pot. Everyone likes chips and dip it seems.

K, I just had lunch, but now I want queso dip!! I love the stuff!!

[tha_mrs]

dessert sounds good to me!

[CindySue]

You could do the dessert thing, but also you could chips and dip. That is super easy. You can buy onion dip and queso is super easy to make. All you need is a crock pot. Everyone likes chips and dip it seems.
Kacie....thats a great idea. Snack and desserts are very easy and cheap!

[theweddinghelper]

If You Can't Use Your Inlaws Or Family Members Houses Like Some Other Members Suggested You Could Always Have It @ A Near By Park Or Picnicing Area. About The Food: You Could Have Everyone Bring A Covered Dish Or Somethng. (that Way No One Is Having To Fork Over Alot Of Money @ 1 Time.) Another Idea Is For You And Your Fiance' To Get Your Parents Together & Have A Family Yardsale/fundraiser To Where All The Proceeds Go To Your Wedding Or Rehearsal Dinner.

[Kacie_bride]

Kacie....thats a great idea. Snack and desserts are very easy and cheap!

Yeah I don't know about everyone else but I have to keep everything even. If I eat something sweet I then need salt and vice versa.

[ikkin510]

I talked with Steve and his parents tonight. They love the idea of a dessert time right in the church hall. Steve actually suggested having chips and small sandwiches too. His parents are going to get a deli plater for it. Figured we'd ask other people to bring chips or dessert or soda. Kinda a covered dish thing. Thanks again for the help!