Am I the only one...

[savvy]

having these crazy pre wedding nightmares where everything and anything can and does go wrong? The latest dream was:
A girl who I have not talked to in years was my maid of honor (we can not stand eachother) my dress tears just before I am about to go down the aisle, we woke up late so I did not have time for my hair and make up to be done, the flowers never showed up so we dug some out of the front yard of the place we were at (not the reception site that fiance and I booked) and my maid of honor liked my flowers better so she took mine and left me with these aweful looking weeds. And then when my dad was about to walk me down the aisle my fiance came running towards us and would not let my dad take me down the aisle, he wanted to do it.

What are your crazy pre wedding dreams?
~SAVVY :?

[WhiskeyGirl]

This is a funny thing. I have had many wedding dreams and just recently read in a bridal magazine column about this. The columnist writes that when you are having these dreams, it really means that you are striving to have "the perfect wedding" and don't want anything to go wrong. There for the stress you are putting on yourself causes you to dream these dreams. I should dig out that magazine and let you know exactly what is she says.

The last dream I had, my dress was a mess. The top of my dress had feathers on it, didn't fit properly and was constantly falling down. Also the dress had a Hot pink thing going on through out it. When I did finally get down the isle, I was marrying a completely different person and was totally mortified that my fiance wasn't there. I can't remember much more, other than it was in a church, which i thought was wierd because a church, for me, would be the last place where i would get married. All i know is that when i woke up, i was deeply disturbed about the dream that i had just had. Luckily though, now i think about it and laugh, because i am beginning to realize that if things don't go exactly as planned i don't need to worry, alot of people won't realize that it wasn't supposed to be that way and if they do, oh well. It can't all be perfect....(Let me tell you though, I am going to work my hardest to make it perfect as much as possible and try and for see problems before they happen!...lol)

[Emmie]

Gracious...
It just isnt fair is it....planning a wedding, maybe i should pay someone to do it for me.
I JUST started reasearching for my wedding last night....
then, all night long i dreamed about how big the cake should be...
I ended up getting out of bed around 3 when my fiance' left, just so i wouldnt have to deal with the dreams!!!!!

i feel your pain! :)

[As You Wish]

As a happily married old lady I get to giggle. The only brides I have known who don't have some sort of nightmares before the wedding end up on the floor of a bathroom in a strange hotel sobbing wondering what just happened. You are going through one of the most stressful, fun, scary, exciting, exhausting, times of your life. It is normal to be a bit crazy. Take it as part of the fun. I wish you all happy dreams in your married life - and may you never go through this again!

[totalia]

Well, despite what the above poster said...

I haven't had any nightmares.

For one thing, its just a party. It may be a wedding but its essentially just a party.

For another, I don't stress about things like this. There are LOTS of more important things to stress about than a party.

If all you have to worry about is whats going on with the wedding then I envy you. You have a pretty good life.

[robindepaula]

Aww . . . yes, the wedding nightmares. I did have them many years ago when planning my own wedding. I think you just want everything to go as planned & be perfect . . . in the back of your mind you worry about these things & they manifest into the nightmares.

Your weddings are going to be great ~ don't sweat the small stuff! Sit back & enjoy (I know that is easier said than done).

Robin :D

[As You Wish]

I respectfully disagree with Totalia. This is much more than a party. You are making a life long commitment. Even if you have no concerns about your groom or your future the depth of the promises you are making should catch your breath at least a little. I believe that the wedding nightmares about the party not going as planed are really fears about your marriage not going as planned. They are very normal and have little to do with weather your choice of groom is right or how big your party is going to be.

[robindepaula]

I respectfully disagree with Totalia. This is much more than a party. You are making a life long commitment. Even if you have no concerns about your groom or your future the depth of the promises you are making should catch your breath at least a little. I believe that the wedding nightmares about the party not going as planed are really fears about your marriage not going as planned. They are very normal and have little to do with weather your choice of groom is right or how big your party is going to be.

Miranda,

I completely agree with your point of view ~ I can say that after 10 years of marriage, that is the one thing that had me scared . . . would this work out, etc....

Robin

[totalia]

Brides always disagree. I tend to think that your priorities are messed up.

The thing thats important is that you are getting married and the implications of that. NOT whether the food will be right, whether things will go on time, etc.

During my first wedding, my grandmother was a half hour late and I refused to start the ceremony without her there. She just stopped to get something to eat.

During my sisters wedding, her husband forgot their wedding rings at home and had to go back and get them so the ceremony was 15 minutes late in starting.

During my mother's wedding, we couldn't get the stereo system to work so she didn't have music for the ceremony.

Oh well. None of it is important and none of us had a heart attack about it.

Things will go wrong. Thats the way of life.

But to emphasize what MIGHT go wrong is to have your priorities in the wrong place.

Everything will go just fine. Oh things will go wrong but so what? Its just one day out of your life. It's just a party. Its not like its life or death.

If your having nightmares about it then maybe your obsessing about it a little too much.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I totally disagree with Totalia. What i worry about and what another person worries about are two different things. I do not have control over my dreams and I do not have that as the least of my worries! Maybe we worry and have these dreams because this will be our first and, for me, only wedding. Perhaps we are just two completely different types of people. I don't think its right to say that what we are dealing with is, less or more then what the next person is dealing with. Be fair to us that have those crazy dreams, sometimes they really are only dreams. Heck, when we decided to buy a new car, thats all i Dreamt about that night. Maybe its just because we have been thinking about it more, its more the first thing in a person's mind to make a dream out of. I sure understand that things won't go the way a person plans it to, and things will go wrong! I know this very well, because the woman who i trusted with all my heart to make my wedding dress, passed away. Something I had no control over but dealt with. So, needless to say, saying that our priorities are messed up is your opinion, and a dream may just be that, a dream, don't look down on us that we want to try and have the happiest day of our lives, because i think that if something does go wrong, we will all roll with the punches as best we can and as best as you said you did!

[savvy]

Brides always disagree. I tend to think that your priorities are messed up.

If your having nightmares about it then maybe your obsessing about it a little too much.

I only made the post to get a laugh at the crazy dreams that brides are having, mine included. Just because I had a dream about the wedding day going wrong does not mean that I am "obsessing about it a little too much"
I meant for this to be a fun post.

I know things will go wrong. Things always go wrong. "The best laid plans of mice and men, often go awry." This is one of my lifes mottos. It is how I manage to stay sane around a large family.

Again, I meant this to be a fun post. :?
~savvy

[robindepaula]

Hey everyone,

If you look at the posters past posts to different threads ~ she is disagreeing on all threads that she posts on!! I think she's trying to push people's buttons to stir up a roar. Ignore her & she'll go away.

Robin

[totalia]

Now who's being rude? I'm not trying to push peoples buttons. I'm trying to put some reality and realistic expectations into situations. You don't have to like it.

[WhiskeyGirl]

My thoughts are that perhaps if you didn't consider this to be "just a party" Totalia, then perhaps not so much would have gone wrong! YOu are right Robin, she does tend to disagree with almost everything everyone is saying, or else complaining that she didn't have it this way or that. I think she might be looking for pity. I think what my mom said to me as a child should come into play on this one: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!" And Savy, I think that this is a fun post, when I have more dreams, I will let you know! LOL. Have fun and play nice!

[totalia]

Not so much would have gone wrong? Tell me how your supposed to control these kinds of things. Please. I'd love to hear it.

My grandma knew what time my wedding was. She just decided she was hungry. I can't control other people.

When we checked the stereo system at my mother's wedding, it was fine. It was when it came time for the music to start that the thing crapped out. How was I supposed to control that?

And for my sister's wedding.... well her husband is a drug addict and none of us could control him either so forgetting the rings came as no surprise (they are split now btw).

Tell me... how are you supposed to control other people?

Things go wrong. That's life. You either learn to deal with it or turn into a brat. Just because its a wedding doesn't make it any more special than at any other time.

If you can control other people and force them to do things like your little slaves, then your lucky. I wouldn't even attempt it. I couldn't imagine telling my grandmother off for being late. She'd not have hesitated to punish me for it. Wedding day or not.

Happy to see everyone posting, but lets keep this on topic. We can start a new thread if we want to debate something! :P

As for things gone wrong; Every wedding has something that goes wrong. Maybe someone forgot something so small that it really does not matter, or in totalia case grandma thought food sounded better then the wedding. Either way my advice is to just keep going, have the wedding and don’t worry about what got missed or not, and enjoy yourself! :wink:

[robindepaula]

. . . Just because its a wedding doesn't make it any more special than at any other time.

I beg to differ on this statement - it is more special than any other day ~ you are entering into the sacrement of marriage ~ it is a very special day....not like any other day.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Case in point. Fine example, of people looking for pity. Get over it. It was just a post to talk about Dreams and you took it to the point of telling us all that we are lame. It is ONLY a post, if you think that we have nothing to worry about and that our lives are so simple and yours is so hard, do something about it! Complaining and bringing others down, will not make your experiences better. But getting over it and moving on will. So let's forget about who's lame and that and get this post back on track.

Dreams! Thats what we were talking about. Nothing so far from me lately, but i'm sure that something is bound to be dreamt about soon!

[totalia]

You know what? I give up. Whatever you say.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I have to post my latest dream because I think it is very funny! I must be stressing about shoes now, because this is what my latest dream was about. For some reason, in my dream I had to get married right away even though I didn't have any shoes to wear. The dream goes about that I am in a shoe store trying on shoes in my wedding dress. I try on everything and can't seem to find the perfect shoe, so I end up wearing those Big Red Floppy Clown Shoes. When I woke up, I was laughing so hard, I was close to tears. Wouldn't that be a sight to see... a bride wearing her wedding dress and Clown Shoes...oh well at least the red in the shoes would go with the red in my dress. It was quite a thing in my dream, me walking up the aisle with these red clown shoes. Quite halarious! I guess if I can't find any shoes that I like, I could always wear clown shoes, they worked in my dream...lol!

~CanadianBride~

[wedbyjean]

Hi there,

Just to interject a different viewpoint on the subject (although not the one originally started with this post). The wedding reception is just a party. It is, is a sense, the first dinner party that you will be hosting (regardless of who's paying) as husband and wife -- whether it's cake & punch or a full course meal. Important? Yes, but in varying degrees of importance with different people. The wedding ceremony, on the other hand, isn't "just a . . ." anything. It is a serious event, publicly declaring your love and intent of committing to this person. This is where the true importance lies.

Now, on to the real post topic . . .

I've been planning weddings professionally for 11 years, and now and then I still get wedding nightmares. Common themes are: I'm just walking in the building and the bride's halfway down the aisle, the attendants are milling around, there's no music, the minister's not even there yet, I have no idea where my notes are, the reception site is not set up, there is no cake, the decorations are wrong, I don't know where the reception is supposed to be.

Then I wake up and wonder, "Now where did THAT come from?" Roll over and promptly go back to sleep (thank goodness for being a sound sleeper).

Sometimes dreams are reflections of what's going on in life, and sometimes, well, it's just a dream.

Jean

[usahgrad]

Well this has definitely been an interesting thread to read. Thank you everyone for contradicting about the lack of specialness on your wedding day. However, as totalia said, technically, it is just a party. It's how important said party is that varies for all of us. As for my party, very important...

Which may be why I had this terrible dream last night! I dreamt that my ex-boyfriend (very BAD break up) was at my wedding. The ceremony hadn't started yet and we were in this room getting ready and he just burst in and kissed me. I was so astonished I froze. Finally I slapped him and told him to leave. He said that he knew I still loved him and he was going to prove it. I was in tears, I couldn't believe that with everything else in my life that was messed up on his account, he was going to mess up my wedding to. He disappeared out the door and my mother and bridesmaids calmed me down and got me ready to walk down the aisle. We were in this beautiful church with a million flowers (which is weird because I don't want to get married inside and I don't like excessive flowers because it reminds me of funeral homes). Anyways, we get through the wedding, and just as I'm sure you all expect, when the preacher says "Speak now or forever hold your peace..." He stands up and screams at my groom about how he stole me away from him. I woke up shaking...I couldn't believe it...

[SeptBride]

i love the wedding nightmares...i personally think they are hilarious! Wierd situations which could or could not happen. i usually tell my FI the next day about the dreams and we have a good laugh. i've dreamed everything from him not showing up to me being married by my ex-friend who hates me to wearing jeans to the ceremony b/c my dress wasn't done.....all could happen, but probably not.

if u r going to let the dreams stress u out u need to take a deep breath and just not let things get 2 u. this is the best time of your life and it's all leading up 2 a big party and a life with the person u love the most in the world.....how can that be a bad thing! Your wedding will be beautiful and u should be able to enjoy everything about it!