Brides maids...(Help!) I can't pick everyone....

[WhiskeyGirl]

Since I got engaged in May of 2004, I have lost a few friends and got a few family members mad at me. The thing is, people are mad at me for not picking them to be in my wedding party. My cousin, barely talks to me, because i didn't pick her, but how do I tell her that the reason I didn't pick her is because she would make my wedding day into a day of hell, because she needs to be the center of attention! At her sister in laws wedding, she danced around and bowed like a total clown on the grand entrance, and made a complete fool out of herself, just so people would pay more attention to her and not to the bride and groom. ( This i thought was very tasteless and tacky, and I know that I wouldn't be able to handle.) I have also lost my best friend from high school because I didn't pick her, even though she never returned my phone calls or letters after I moved two and a half hours away from her. Help! How do i deal with these people!

[savvy]

Remember just that: "you can not pick everyone" It is not fair to you for your friends and family to make you feel that you have let them down by not deciding to have them ivolved in your wedding. It is your day. While that does not give you the right to be rude and nasty to people, it does give you the right to decide who you want to be involved in your wedding. I hope the situation will pass over without too much grief from friends and family. Good luck to you
~savvy

[emily]

:shock: I can completely understand what you are going from you. I come from a large family and am having all my sisters as bridesmaids along with my own children.
I know this may sound strange, but my older brother is giving me away and my mother kepps trying to delegate 'tasks' to people saying she doesnt want anyone to fell left out! :evil: Its soooo frustrating! Dont get me wrong, I love all my family to bits, and of course everyone has been given invites, but if I give them all a job to do - no-one will be able to enjoy the day!!!

I havent had to deal with people falling out with me about anything yet but I am well aware that i'm annoying my mother by doing what me and my fiance want instead of everything she wants!

I just have to keep telling myself that we are getting married because we love each other... its our day and we want to share that with everyone close to us - you cant please everyone, so dont change your plans just to suit others - if they care enough about you - they should respect your decisions and stop sulking about it! (well, at least thats the 'ideal' world anyway!) :lol:

You have enough to worry about without extra unnecessary pressure - just enjoy your day - having it the way you want it....

[neeni13]

I am curiuos to know who did you pick to be by your side?

[WhiskeyGirl]

I picked my sister in law to be my Matron of Honor, my friend whom I have only known for less then a year but has proved to be more of a friend than other people that I have known for ten years, I also picked one of my good friends from highschool. As far as that friend who no longer talks to me, she still doesn't and I figure that if she wants to play it that way, then thats her loss and not mine. She just proved to me right there that she wasn't at all a true friend and she is of course no longer even invited to the wedding. And my cousin who is also mad and not talking to me, well, she's still invited to the wedding, but I am sure not going to call and beg for her forgiveness for me not picking her to be in the wedding party. I think someday she will understand what a hard decision it was for me to not pick her and how hard it is, when people act childish because you didn't pick them. I am know that I made the right decision and the one that suits me best!

[neeni13]

Godd for you! Now you just have to keep that attitude about all the rest of your decions or else you'll be in the same pickle about the simple thinjgs like who rides in the limo or who's in charge of the gifts. Hey cousin can be a hostess and help seat people and still be pretty and seen :wink:

[iluvweddings]

I truly feel for your situation and though it is sad. A lot of times people (women) want to "be in the wedding" not to stand by your side and be there for you. But... so that they can stand at the front of the church and feel important. Don't let it get you down - your wedding will be a beautiful and peaceful because of your decision.

GOOD LUCK!

[enchantingdragon]

Hii I understand where you are coming from. Its hard to not want to hurt people's feelings but they should respect that this is your and your fiance's day and therefore you should be allowed to do as you want. I agree with neeni13, there is nothing wrong with close friends and family dping other things in the wedding (readers, guest book attendants, etc) I wish you all the luck and hope they dont stress you out on your big day!