In Law Woes

[fouturemzjohnson]

My FH mother is determained to wear a white gown to my wedding.... what do i do?:bbcry:

[Aleta]

Ugh! My ex Mil did that. Very tacky. Don't worry, you are the bride and you are going to be the focus on the attention. You can't stop her from wearing it, though you can ask her to wear a certain color and see if she abides by it. If she doesn't, don't sweat it.. people will think she's being tacky and they will think you look beautiful!

[Jacobs_Girl]

u can throw red paint on her :grinhappy:

[mitch]

I agree with Aleta. Especially the last bit of Her post about Her looking out of place. And You being the Beautiful Bride.

If She insists on White. Either tell Her it's Bad Luck for the Mothers to wear White (I don't think it is. But She doesn't know that :winktongue: )
Or get Her to wear something to break the White up. Shoes, Bag (Purse), Wrap etc.

Good Luck.

[fouturemzjohnson]

Maybe I was not as clear as I could have been she is wearing a gown purchased from Davids Bridal as a bride. I would not mind as much if it was a wedding dress.:bbredface:

[mitch]

Maybe I was not as clear as I could have been she is wearing a gown purchased from Davids Bridal as a bride. I would not mind as much if it was a wedding dress.:bbredface:

OMG She's got a "Wedding Dress" ??!! :bbeek:

If that's the case, that is bang out of order!

If it was Me i would have to say something even if it offended Her.

YOUR'E the Bride!!

[Aleta]

You've GOT to be kidding me! Tell her that her wedding is IN THE PAST and it's YOUR time to shine. Good grief, the absolute nerve of some people!

[fouturemzjohnson]

Yeah my FH said it when we heard that she bought it. She would never let me see it but my FSIL showed it to me online and its a bridal gown simple but it looks like a wedding dress.

[url=http://www.ezticker.com/]
http://www.ezticker.com/ticker/917/152/20090209/New+Begining/ticker.png

[Jacobs_Girl]

wow thats totally going too far.

I saw this episode on Brizilla once and the FMIL of the bride was planning on wearing a RED dress while the bridal colors were like brown and blue or something. The bride let her wear that but you could tell she was an attention wh*&^

maybe u can find out where she is getting it from and call the place pretending to be her and cancel her order or worst order a special color like yellow hehehe

Sorry your going through this though.

[mitch]

I'm still fuming over the cheek of Your FMIL. :irked:

My heart goes out to You.

But thinking about it. Are You sure She didn't buy it for You to wear? Or has She said She is definately wearing it Herself?

[Aleta]

Think about something which your FMIL would not like. Something that you can compare her actions to and let that be the leading conversation. No wonder she didn't want to show you the gown. I'd tell her that you saw it anyway and can't believe she'd be that UNCOUTH.

[fouturemzjohnson]

Thanks my FH said something she said it wasn't that bad. We had planned at first to ask all the guest the wear white (like a white party) but it was just an idea at the 1st meeting. My planner quickly 86 the idea and she just kept with it and now she is wearing a gown and doesn't care. REFUSED TO TALK ANYMORE ABOUT IT OR CHANGE HER DRESS. And I quote " YOU'RE LUCKY I DONT WEAR A VEIL!!!!" was her response to my FH:petrified::sob:




http://www.ezticker.com/ticker/917/152/20090209/New+Begining/ticker.png

[Aleta]

Ok, just thinking here.... have You considered wearing a different color for your gown?

[Jacobs_Girl]

Thanks my FH said something she said it wasn't that bad. We had planned at first to ask all the guest the wear white (like a white party) but it was just an idea at the 1st meeting. My planner quickly 86 the idea and she just kept with it and now she is wearing a gown and doesn't care. REFUSED TO TALK ANYMORE ABOUT IT OR CHANGE HER DRESS. And I quote " YOU'RE LUCKY I DONT WEAR A VEIL!!!!" was her response to my FH:petrified::sob:



How rude of her. How about uninvite her? YOUR LUCKY??? i cant believe that was her response. How about YOUR LUCKY YOUR INVITED FOR NOW???

let her wear and it look stupid, I would encourage her to wear a veil and tiara.

btw u could put ur ticker in your sig so u dont have to post it everytime :winktongue:

[mitch]

And I quote " YOU'RE LUCKY I DONT WEAR A VEIL!!!!" was her response to my FH:petrified::sob:


Oh My Giddy Aunt. :bbeek:

Be thankful i'm across the pond in England. Because i so wanna go round and take Her skeleton out for You.

I'd read some horror stories on here but that one sure takes the biscuit.
Hopefully She will change Her Mind.

You mentioned a "White Party" Try telling Her it's now a Blue Party (Or whatever colour You want Her to wear) Good Luck.

[fouturemzjohnson]

She knows that we changed the white party idea she was there. I was just wondering how do I tell my FH i dont wont his mother at OUR wedding.

[mitch]

She knows that we changed the white party idea she was there. I was just wondering how do I tell my FH i dont wont his mother at OUR wedding.


I see Two clear choices here.

Either She comes but DOES NOT wear the White Dress.

Or She stays at Home in Her beloved Frock and sits there looking like a Jilted Bride. :rofl:

[Jacobs_Girl]

She knows that we changed the white party idea she was there. I was just wondering how do I tell my FH i dont wont his mother at OUR wedding.

well he is your FH You should be able to be open with him. I would just let him know how disappointed you will be and it would greatly saden you if she does... then if he doesn't go for it start crying, that usually works with the masculine gender, fathers, husbands, uncles, brothers :grinhappy:

[Aleta]

Or... if you are still open to the all white idea, then it would bust her bubble.

I agree though, she should not be allowed in if she's wearing a wedding gown. Totally inappropriate and it will cause a scene that you don't want in your wedding, the mumuring and whispers alone would be disturbing!

[mitch]

LMAO.

Look at us Four. Me, Aleta, Jacobs_Girl and fouturemzjohnson all here going on about some poor woman trying to upstage the Bride on Her Wedding Day.

We're like Four Witches around a cauldron trying to mix up some Magic to make it all go away. :rofl:

[Jacobs_Girl]

LMAO.

Look at us Four. Me, Aleta, Jacobs_Girl and fouturemzjohnson all here going on about some poor woman trying to upstage the Bride on Her Wedding Day.

We're like Four Witches around a cauldron trying to mix up some Magic to make it all go away. :rofl:

is it working? :rofl:

[Whitewater]

If your FH is in agreement with you that his mother has gone WELL OVER THE LINE with her choice of garment, the solution is simple.

Have two or three of your big, strong, intimidating-looking friends (whether male or female, I know you probably have a few, everybody does) serve as Mom-Bouncer on the day. Give them a set of FH's mom's clothing that you think would be more suitable. If FH's mom shows up in her psychotically inappropriate attire, have them calmly but firmly escort her out. They can give her two choices. She can take off the psychotic dress and attend in the clothes you've provided, or she can leave the event.

Give her no other options. If she refuses to change, have your friends pick her up and carry her to her car. Put her in it, and ensure she leaves.

I don't use the word 'psychotic' lightly, but I think your FH's mom wearing full bridal regalia to her son's wedding gets into that territory. That behavior is beyond strange and falls firmly into the realm of 'needs professional help and/or a strong intervention'. His mother obviously has issues, I would suggest that either she's having trouble letting him go or (more probably) that she has some significant emotional issues surrounding the concept of taking second place in her son's life, just in general, and she is choosing this passive-agressive, incredibly inappropriate way of demonstrating her feelings on the matter.

Either way, you as the bride should not have to deal with your mother-in-law's emotional issues. You and your FH need to draw the line: Either his mother wears an appropriate outfit or she does not attend. Be prepared to enforce the rules!!!!!

I doubt there will be any talking sense to this woman. As upsetting as it might be, firm boundaries are the best way to go, here.


Whitewater (stunned)

[Aleta]

LMAO ... what's the quote?

"double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and caldron bubble..."

[gwenshack]

This is just bizarre.

I'd be annoyed, and I'd try to sway her toward something else, but some people are going to do what they're going to do.

Don't let her insanely weird and rude behavior get you down. Everyone attending knows who the bride is, and everyone will also think it's bizarre and horrible that your FMIL is also wearing a bridal gown.

If it was just any old white dress this would be less weird. But this is behavior worthy of the old macadamia farm (nut house).

[fouturemzjohnson]

maybe she will change her mind but im going to set a lunch date with her and talk to her........ we had such a good relationship before she and her husband split

[Aleta]

Hmm, she and her husband split and she wants to wear a bridal gown? She's going through some emotions alright. Hopefully you can get her to see the light.

[fouturemzjohnson]

Maybe I feel bad for her and worst for me and even worse for my FH.....He really got it bad...... On another note whats good gifts for bridesmaid and groomsmen...... and what do u all think about all the bridesmaids wearing simular hair styles

[mitch]

Maybe I feel bad for her and worst for me and even worse for my FH.....He really got it bad...... On another note whats good gifts for bridesmaid and groomsmen...... and what do u all think about all the bridesmaids wearing simular hair styles

Try posting those questions under seperate threads here. Then You will get some good answers and ideas.
I'm afraid they will get swallowed up here among the White Dress thread.

I'm sure there's enough Brides here to help You plan the nice things concerning Your Wedding. :D

[joeyz_gurl]

OMG... I would never think anyone would be that bold... but she truly is going to look and probably feel ridiculous by the end of the night if she doesn't switch dresses... I once wore a dress that looked similar to the bridesmaids dresses in color and style at a wedding a few years ago... and i felt super self conscious... even though it was completely unintentional!

however if that talk doesn't work out... i would definitely look into having a "Mom bouncer"! because her wearing a white wedding dress is really too much!

[fouturemzjohnson]

yes i think its a bit much 2............. im glad you all agree with me........... i dont feel like im being a witch about recall my invite....

[WBandMe]

I would be HYSTERICAL if I were you. I'd march right over to her and tell her either to ditch the dress or you will ensure that she doesn't set foot near your wedding. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this--it's one of the craziest things I've heard on here!

[SunnyAB]

Im so sorry you have to deal with this fouturemzjohnson. Not that it matters, but has she said WHY she insists on wearing white, never mind a bride's dress? (Can you post a pic or a link to it?) You mentioned that you had a good relationship with her - at your luncheon, could you say something like - 'FH Mom, I was reading an article on wedding etiquette and it also said no one should wear white except the bride and especially the MOB and MOG should wear colors and styles that COORDINATE or COMPLIMENT the wedding colors and each other. FSI said that your dress is an actual bridal gown - and I REALLY don't want you to be so horribly embarrassed.' Or could your wedding planner talk some sense into her? (Other than that - sic the OW Witches Four Patrol on her!) :D
I really hope she comes to her senses... that is just so wrong. Good luck!

[RosieAngel]

What a hooker! I'm so sorry you have to deal with her!

I see Two clear choices here.

Either She comes but DOES NOT wear the White Dress.

Or She stays at Home in Her beloved Frock and sits there looking like a Jilted Bride. :rofl:

Oh Mitch... I think I love you. :D

I totally agree 100%!

[RosieAngel]

I would be HYSTERICAL if I were you. I'd march right over to her and tell her either to ditch the dress or you will ensure that she doesn't set foot near your wedding. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this--it's one of the craziest things I've heard on here!

Seriously! Just when you thought you've heard it all...

[Nekochanpurr]

Thats... Well, nuts. o.o; Hey, if she does come in that dress, everyone else will just see how nutso she is, too...

[Lang2b]

Im kinda of leaning more towards her wearing it just so she looks so fn stupid. She will get laughed at so bad....Im kidding but wierdo she sounds like......STAND UR GROUND ITS YOUR WEDDING

[kgvettegirl]

Is there a chance that your future sister in law would be willing to set fire to the dress after she picks it up? She can't wear it if it doesn't exist.:hothead: I know that is mean and not politically correct but that is beyond the pale. To wear a wedding dress to your son's wedding trying to take attention away from the couple she needs to be seen by a mental health professional.

[SerendipityCrafts]

And I quote " YOU'RE LUCKY I DONT WEAR A VEIL!!!!" was her response to my FH

Oh he77, I would let her where the dress on the condition that she wears a veil of your choosing.

How about something like this???

http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/files/2007/12/fashion-white-300.jpg

or this

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2062/1603337631_d357a95309.jpg?v=0

or this

http://thenot.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/small_wedding20veil20cu.jpg

or maybe this (my personal favourite)?

http://www.weddings.sc/workspaces/www/templates/domains/weddings.sc/images/blog/funnypicJan7/ExplodeeVeil.gif

[Aleta]

OMG! Love the first and last veil as suggestions. Too funny!

[Brian's Bride]

I also loved veil #1!!! Too funny! What a freak!

[fouturemzjohnson]

Ok well where do I start.... I had lunch with her and it went totally down the toliet.......... She said and I quote " I was your f*&^ idea that it be all white now you go and change your f*&^ing mind." By the way FSIN was there along with my mom anyway.... So I told her that the dress she picked was not just white but a bridal gown and she said that she can wear whatever she pleases because its her sons wedding.... my mom said that she thought the we all understood that that was just an idea and that we were not doing that... she again said she can do as she please and so I finally said after about a hour of the drama that if she does wear it that she wont be allowed in..... she then said that she wont be coming and neither will any of her family which her underage son is the BM..... she called my FH and told him what I said (like he wasnt in aggreement) and then told him since he was in agreement to marry his new family because that side of the family is dead to him..... I called all of the other family members and they all were on our side and said they were still coming and all but still as of this morning younger bro cant be in the wedding and she is not talking to me (of course) FSIN, and FH.... who by the way is extremely hurt...... :bbcry:

[gwenshack]

Aw, man. That's terrible. At least FH and the rest of the family stayed on your side. It seems like this woman really is just a tad unstable.

Maybe FH should be the one to sit down with her?

[fouturemzjohnson]

He talk to her first and she come up with the lucky i dont wear a veil thing so i think its for the best that she dont come im just hurt bc my fh is in pain

[MrsBacon_092708]

WOW! Talking about the MIL from He**! I feel so bad for you. My heart goes out to you and your FH along with the rest of the family. What a :censored: !!!!!

[mitch]

I can understand your frustration that FH's Brother wont be in the Wedding now. But you still have a few months in which to convince Her otherwise.
Give it a couple of days or weeks and talk to Her again if need be.

I'm sorry You are going through all this at what should be the Happy Planning Stage. Maybe She will get off Her high horse one day and realise what a Twat She has been over this entire sorry affair.

I wish You and Your FH all the luck in the world and hope things settle down for You both soon.

[fouturemzjohnson]

Thanx I hope so 2... It has been a rough weekend my FH loves his mom but his dad said that he was going to make sure that the FBIN is in the wedding so maybe he can pull a string or 2......Whats the killer is she isn't helping to pay for anything not one thing did sheoffer to pay for so she should be very quite....

[joeyz_gurl]

I'm so sorry that things didnt go well. I can't believe she is being so unreasonable. perhaps her feelings are hurt/she is embarassed at being confronted around FSIL and your mom. It could be possible she needs a little time to cool off... i can't believe she really wants to miss her son's wedding over a dress

[fouturemzjohnson]

I really cant believe it either. I hope she comes to her self and releize how much she is hurting her son.

[Amanda&Jason]

Wow!!!I just can't believe it! I am sorry you are going through this. Hopefully she'll come around and see what a huge "beotch" she was being. Good Luck!!