My vent

[WebLady]

OK this isn't wedding related but it will be a vent so I hope it is ok to post it here ...

My family has never been big on Easter (well when we were kids we got Easter baskets and hide eggs and such) so DH and I have always celebrated Easter with his family, they always have some sort of get together.

Well yesterday my mom calls and says that she wants to have an Easter dinner. Well, I had already made plans to spend the day with my husband and his family ... like I have done for the last 7 yrs. Well, she got a little huffy and was like 'Well ok then, I guess we will do it without you' :bbrolleyes:

Easter doesn't mean anything to her, it never has. She just wants to pretend now for some reason. I can only guess it is because of my niece. But even in that, Easter doesn't mean anything to my family, it never has ... we are grown now and it is just another day. (she even said something like that to me a couple of years ago) Well, it has a different meaning to me and I am not going to pretend it is all about candy and eggs and bunnies.

So then my sister called today and asked it I was coming over tomorrow (Sat) for our normal lunch thing and asked if I was coming to dinner Sunday, well I told her we would still do lunch Saturday and I got the baby a little gift. But as for the Sunday dinner, well I told her the same thing I told mom. Then she got huffy with me too! She said things like 'You never want to do anything with our family anymore' :realmad:

Also, she picked out an Easter card 'from the baby' and sent it to me ... she asked if I got it and I said "yes, I did it was a very nice card, tell her thank you" so then she was like 'That's all, I thought you would be 'touched' or something' Ok, yeah it was a nice card and I plan to keep it. I know she took time to find one that suited me and said Auntie on it ... but what does she expect from me?! She said 'Well I guess you just don't think like other people do' Well, duh should know that by know ;)

I don't know what to do or why I am letting this get to me ... I just wish there wasn't always something with my family :bbrolleyes: This is the kind of thing that makes me want to just run away and move to Florida and only come back for Christmas.

[Jenn060306]

I'm sorry you're family is being grumpy that you already made plans the day before a big holiday. Honestly if i wasn't invited a weekish before i would be assuming there was nothing happening. Then also be slightly annoyed that they waited until the last minute to call.
I guess all you can do is tell them you need a little more notice about getting together with the family at holidays because you have another family you have to work with too.
Mark's mom fails to realize that sometimes. It makes me crazy. I love her, but just because Sunday is the holiday doesn't make it the best day for everyone. :bbconfused:
Hope you have a great weekend dispite grumpy mom's and siters!

[WebLady]

Thanks :)

Well, part one of my weekend is over ... just got back from my Mom and Dad's (my sister lives there too) everything went fine. But they did try to get me to come over there tomorrow after my dinner with DH's family. But I am not gonna want to do anything after that.

So now I have to make pies and get up early tomorrow to cook ... DH's family is coming at 2pm tomorrow afternoon. I am sure that will go fine, they never give me any problems ;)

[rainbowtreat]

I am hoping you have a nice Easter despite all that is going on. Enjoy your dinner with your in laws and just let it slide with you family. It is one day that you had planned. Your mom has got to realize that. Good luck and let us know how it all goes. What kind of pies are you making? Can I put and order in for a chocolate cream pie please?:bblol:

[WebLady]

I am hoping you have a nice Easter despite all that is going on. Enjoy your dinner with your in laws and just let it slide with you family. It is one day that you had planned. Your mom has got to realize that. Good luck and let us know how it all goes.
Yeah, I am sure it will all be fine ... I just get frustrated with them, it is always something *sad sigh*

... What kind of pies are you making? Can I put and order in for a chocolate cream pie please? :bblol:
I am making Key Lime Pies, (one for our guests and one for us :drool:) DH's fav. They are cooling now. I have never made a chocolate cream pie, I don't think I have ever had one either ;)

[WhiskeyGirl]

Hey Brandi!!

I'm sorry you have to deal with the same cr@P that I am dealing with right now too!! My mom called to ask if we would drive four hours to their place for Easter, when I told her "no" and that Matt is flying this weekend she got all pissy with me and treated me like dirt for the rest of the conversation! I don't understand it because my mom has never been like that to me until recently! (maybe its the fact that we bought another brand new house and we still haven't sold the other one?? I don't really give two flying cows what she thinks...we do what we can and are hoping to hell that the first one sells VERY soon!!) But yeah, I hate how families don't think when you are married and have two families or even your own life to live. I wish you didn't have to go through this as well. Take care!!

Shawna

[WebLady]

... yeah, I hate how families don't think when you are married and have two families or even your own life to live.

Yeah!! My family (mostly my mom and sometimes my sister) gets like this alot but it is worse around a holiday. DH says they are not going to change and that I just have to accept it and change how I let it affect me. I guess I still gotta work on that ;)

Good luck to us all :)

[WhiskeyGirl]

Yeah!! My family (mostly my mom and sometimes my sister) gets like this alot but it is worse around a holiday. DH says they are not going to change and that I just have to accept it and change how I let it affect me. I guess I still gotta work on that ;)

Good luck to us all :)

Sometimes I think we should change that to:

GOD SAVE US ALL!!! Lol

[WebLady]

Sometimes I think we should change that to:

GOD SAVE US ALL!!! Lol

LOL You're right there! ;)

[WhiskeyGirl]

LOL You're right there! ;)

Hell yes! When the fam is acting crazy you just gotta hope someone will save you from them!! lol...I know thats how I feel!! Lmao

[Jenn060306]

I am sooo worried about what will happen with holdiays after we get married. We have Christmas sorted out. But nothing eles. So that will be tough. My mom has been really awsome and has been very flexible, but she's made a little noise about not always being so flexible. I don't feel like she should make her plans arround Mark's mom all the time, but a little give and take from both side would be very nice.

[WebLady]

Yeah it was hard for us feeling pulled between both families. For Thanksgiving and Christmas we just do the day (eve) before with one family and the day of with the other. We started that a couple of years ago and it seems to work ok. My sister is now having problems with it with her FH's family. I don't know why they can't do the 'eve' thing too :bbrolleyes: Now that we are all grown it is just hard to get everyone together at once.

[Jenn060306]

We agreed to do the day and boxing day switch. We also are planning that when we go to Mark's mom's it's the same year as his sister and her kids go so that we get to spend christmas together as a whole family. That year then we will have christmas with my parents on boxing day.
Christmas Eve is a bit different. Traditionally my mom and us go to her sisters or they all come up to my moms. This year my mom requested that we continue to do Christmas eve every year until my aunt passes on. She sufferes from a pretty sever bi-polar disorder and my mom isn't sure she has many more years with us so she really wants/needs us to be there. Mark doesen't quiet understand this yet. but one day.

[LaceyinPgh]

Upon reading all these posts, I have to say that family is great, aren't they? I just wish I could find the **** reciept to exchange mine some days!

[rainbowtreat]

I have to say I am glad I dont have these problems. Our families live too far away for us to see every holiday. Mine is 7 hours north and his is 13 hours south. We are hoping to go to his moms for Thanksgiving this year. We are going to start saving money right after the wedding for this. We tend to have a small thing here at home with just us and the kids. His mom is thinking of coming up this Christmas. If she doesn't come back in late summer.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Our families are constantly pulling us in two ways...well ok, maybe its just my family! We have skipped Christmas twice at my parents because my mom,dad, SIL and brother can't make up their **** minds and keep changing their plans like five bazillion times before Christmas! I alway say to my mom "we are this many hours away from you, please make a bloody plan and stick to it so that we may figure out what the hell it is we are doing!!" Then 3 days later she calls me and tells me that things have changed again. So for the last two years we've gone to the DH's parents on Christmas eve and stayed home alone on Christmas day. My mom and dad usually get all the other holidays because my DH's family are farmers and are usually busy at THanksgiving (october for us canadians), Easter, etc. I wish that my parents would cut us some slack but that never happens. We feel stretched to the max!! Last Christmas I invited my mom and dad to our new house (now keep in mind my MOM and DAD.) well my mom called me up and said "I asked L (sil) if she and J (brother) wanted to come to your place for Christmas this year!!" I was shocked so I told her forget it, we'll do Christmas on New Years Eve, which she agreed to. When we got there (on New Year eve day) my brother and his wife were no where to be seen! I asked my mom where they were and when they were showing up for Christmas gift exchange. She told me they weren't coming over until the following day when we were LEAVING!! Sounds like mom really listens, eh, because she told me that I told her we could do it the following day when the truth is that I told her we were LEAVING the next day!! We didn't end up really having Christmas with my family this year and I am sure that this will all happen again NEXT year! I'm hoping I will be pregnant and I can be like "wanna see me, then you know where I live!!!!!"

So yeah, I hate how you can pick your nose but you can't pick your relatives!!!!!

[WebLady]

Upon reading all these posts, I have to say that family is great, aren't they? I just wish I could find the **** reciept to exchange mine some days!
LMAO :bblol: I don't think I got a receipt, I need to speak to the manager ;)

... I can be like "wanna see me, then you know where I live!!!!!"

So yeah, I hate how you can pick your nose but you can't pick your relatives!!!!!

Yeah, I tell my parents they can come to my house too (just not unanouched ;)) We are having Thanksgiving at my house this year, so it is my rules!

Yeah, I don't know if I would have picked some of the people in my family ;)

[CindySue]

I have always spent the holidays with my family because there was no one else for us to spend them with. This year (and the end of last year) we had Brians. My family usually makes a BIG deal oit of EVERY holiday. His does too. The only reason it was easy this year was because my mom was working in Florida and my dad was off visting friends out of town. Now when EVERYONE is in town, we may have to have it at OUR house so that everyone can be there. Im dreading when it comes up that we have to choose!

[tha_mrs]

You know I never understood this as a child when my aunt would come and stay 2hrs at my granny's and then leave and then she and my cousins would come back in the evening.But I understand now, and I also dread having to choose. I wish that each side can have 1 major holiday. Like thanksgiving @ the inlaws and christmas at mine.I don't know. This is rather touchy.

[rainbowtreat]

One of my best friends alternates with her family and her inlaws. One year they spend Thanksing with one family and Christmas with the other. And the next year they swap. So not one family gets Christmas all the time. It works for them. I again dont have to worry about it. If we are lucky enough to go to one or the others family it is a huge treat for us.

[tha_mrs]

now i like that

[WhiskeyGirl]

One of my best friends alternates with her family and her inlaws. One year they spend Thanksing with one family and Christmas with the other. And the next year they swap. So not one family gets Christmas all the time. It works for them. I again dont have to worry about it. If we are lucky enough to go to one or the others family it is a huge treat for us.

Thats how things are supposed to work for us but my SIL likes things to work only for her and she's constantly changing the way things are supposed to be! So I said screw it! We are always the ones who have to drive 2 1/2 - 4 hours and if we don't feel like going then we stay home! It would be nice if they would come to us for a change!! I/We have been wasting 160 bucks on gas to get there and back for the past six years! Now we might have some money but that does not mean that I intend to spend it ALL on gas!!! Unfortunately my family is too selfish to understand this concept so they suffer from their selfishness and not us!!!

[kheath10]

Im going through faimly mess if your read my post drama drama you will read allbout it and it is not nice. Im sick of my familt trying to ruin things. good luck My family is calling a meeting and I can;t wait!! because then I can put some stuff on the table.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Im going through faimly mess if your read my post drama drama you will read allbout it and it is not nice. Im sick of my familt trying to ruin things. good luck My family is calling a meeting and I can;t wait!! because then I can put some stuff on the table.

We had a family meeting once with my DH's brother and his wife and god it sucked! They spent the whole time verbally attacking us and making us feel like our lives were worthless! We were shocked!! I hope your meeting goes better then ours did!

[CindySue]

We had a family meeting once with my DH's brother and his wife and god it sucked! They spent the whole time verbally attacking us and making us feel like our lives were worthless! We were shocked!! I hope your meeting goes better then ours did!
Im hoping things never happen where we end up having to do something like this. Our families are pretty outspoken and when some has been wronged (or feels like they have been) something is said about it then.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Im hoping things never happen where we end up having to do something like this. Our families are pretty outspoken and when some has been wronged (or feels like they have been) something is said about it then.

It came completely out of the blue! And was only because my (evil) SIL is worried that my DH will get the farm because her DH works so much harder and we aren't entitled to anything! Its like my DH said, he doesn't want to farm!! He doesn't want THE farm!! He doesn't care!! He just wants to find what makes him happy and do it! He'd like to stay in the agricultural part of things (ie spraying crops using a helicopter or airplane) but he doesn't want to work like a dog like his brother does! The "Evil one" is such a gold digging witch its not even funny! :wink:

[CindySue]

It came completely out of the blue! And was only because my (evil) SIL is worried that my DH will get the farm because her DH works so much harder and we aren't entitled to anything! Its like my DH said, he doesn't want to farm!! He doesn't want THE farm!! He doesn't care!! He just wants to find what makes him happy and do it! He'd like to stay in the agricultural part of things (ie spraying crops using a helicopter or airplane) but he doesn't want to work like a dog like his brother does! The "Evil one" is such a gold digging witch its not even funny! :wink:
Yeah well money can make some people crazy. http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_201.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm414CPUS)





http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb068&pp=ZNxdm414CPUS (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb068_ZNxdm414CPUS)

[WhiskeyGirl]

Yeah well money can make some people crazy. http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_201.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm414CPUS)





http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb068&pp=ZNxdm414CPUS (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb068_ZNxdm414CPUS)

Totally!! She is defiantely crazy!!

[WebLady]

Yeah whenever I try to talk about things with my family it gets us nowhere, especially with my mom, she just gets all defensive and blaming, nothing is ever her fault :bbrolleyes: If I do get through to anyone it doesn't last long, so I have kind of stopped trying :bbconfused:

Good luck with your family meeting!