rockchalkchick
08-01-2008, 08:19 AM
Ok, I'm sure we've all had a few of those moments, where someone says something about your wedding/marriage that you just can't believe, but this was the first one that really had me picking my jaw up off the floor. I've gotten the "usual" - "aren't you going to lose weight for the wedding?" or "you're going to make him buy you a 'real' diamond (aka bigger), aren't you?" but this one totally caught me off-guard!
My fiance and I are moving to a new town for my schooling - we just bought a house, are in the process of packing to move next week, and have been setting up all our finances and all of that junk that takes so much time. At this point, we know how things work - I'm the one to "deal" with people... I'm both more diplomatic and more assertive - he's more likely to avoid the problem as long as possible, and then tell someone to f-off when they don't give him the answer he's looking for. This became a bit of a problem in our last apartment - I moved in with him and his roommate, which meant that all of the utilities and things were in his name - when I called to take care of things, I got stonewalled because I didn't have my name on it (however, I was fuming when I called back and introduced myself as Bri HisName - suddenly I got everything I wanted because I pretended to have the same last name!)
Ok, so with all this in mind, I've been putting all of the utilities, bank accounts, etc with my name first - if I'm going to be the one handling the finances and calling these people and such, I may as well have the account under my name (and make sure he has control rights, as well, obviously).
So, now to my utter shock - when we closed on the house last week, my fiance and I went to the bank and opened a safe deposit box since we now have an abstract and other paperwork that is worth keeping outside the house. We already had an account with that bank (under my name first) - when the woman tried to look it up, she struggled to find it under his name for 5 minutes before I asked her for the third time to try my name... it came up immediately. (Still not good, since it SHOULD have come up under his name, but it's still annoying that she wouldn't use my name when I gave it first.) She got the paperwork out and started filling it out... asking about our plans to get married and whether she should put his last name behind mine since we'd likely be married by the time we come back to the box. I explained that I wouldn't be changing my name... she says "oh, that's... different..." I explained that I would need to keep my name professionally because I already have publications and have established my career under this name. (I need to stop explaining - there's no need for an "excuse" to keep my name!)
So, the fun part - I gave my information first, and she placed it under the "primary" account line; then his information on the second line. She let us into the vault and set us up with the box, and then showed us how the checkout cards would be stored. At which point, she twitters "I suppose I'll just file you under S since you should be a S__(his name)_ eventually"
MY name (B) is first on the account. MY name is the "primary" account. Yes she so kindly filed us under S since I SHOULD be an S instead of a B????
I was completely dumbstruck until well after we'd reached the car, at which I finally asked "did I really hear that right?" (FH said he thought I was going to throttle her on the spot!)
Ok, so make me feel better - what odd or out-of-line comments have you gotten lately?
My fiance and I are moving to a new town for my schooling - we just bought a house, are in the process of packing to move next week, and have been setting up all our finances and all of that junk that takes so much time. At this point, we know how things work - I'm the one to "deal" with people... I'm both more diplomatic and more assertive - he's more likely to avoid the problem as long as possible, and then tell someone to f-off when they don't give him the answer he's looking for. This became a bit of a problem in our last apartment - I moved in with him and his roommate, which meant that all of the utilities and things were in his name - when I called to take care of things, I got stonewalled because I didn't have my name on it (however, I was fuming when I called back and introduced myself as Bri HisName - suddenly I got everything I wanted because I pretended to have the same last name!)
Ok, so with all this in mind, I've been putting all of the utilities, bank accounts, etc with my name first - if I'm going to be the one handling the finances and calling these people and such, I may as well have the account under my name (and make sure he has control rights, as well, obviously).
So, now to my utter shock - when we closed on the house last week, my fiance and I went to the bank and opened a safe deposit box since we now have an abstract and other paperwork that is worth keeping outside the house. We already had an account with that bank (under my name first) - when the woman tried to look it up, she struggled to find it under his name for 5 minutes before I asked her for the third time to try my name... it came up immediately. (Still not good, since it SHOULD have come up under his name, but it's still annoying that she wouldn't use my name when I gave it first.) She got the paperwork out and started filling it out... asking about our plans to get married and whether she should put his last name behind mine since we'd likely be married by the time we come back to the box. I explained that I wouldn't be changing my name... she says "oh, that's... different..." I explained that I would need to keep my name professionally because I already have publications and have established my career under this name. (I need to stop explaining - there's no need for an "excuse" to keep my name!)
So, the fun part - I gave my information first, and she placed it under the "primary" account line; then his information on the second line. She let us into the vault and set us up with the box, and then showed us how the checkout cards would be stored. At which point, she twitters "I suppose I'll just file you under S since you should be a S__(his name)_ eventually"
MY name (B) is first on the account. MY name is the "primary" account. Yes she so kindly filed us under S since I SHOULD be an S instead of a B????
I was completely dumbstruck until well after we'd reached the car, at which I finally asked "did I really hear that right?" (FH said he thought I was going to throttle her on the spot!)
Ok, so make me feel better - what odd or out-of-line comments have you gotten lately?