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View Full Version : My Mother -- The (Hopefully) Final Chapter


CarlosHoney
04-13-2006, 03:30 PM
Here's the whole ordid tale:

I was on the phone with her now ex-girlfriend until 4 in the morning. My mom left her. Didn't tell her why. Everything was going fine.. Stacey (her ex) told my mom that she loved her, like, 2 days ago for the first time. They've been together for almost a year. My mom moved in with this mean butch woman who has a lot of money.. Leaving poor Stacey with nothing. No closure, no reason, nothing emotionally substantial.. and $1500 in the hole. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif

She let her order Madonna tickets on Monday that were almost $800. Mom said that she was going to pay for them, with the first paycheck from this new job. Well, there is no new job. She lied to everyone, again, and that's the end of it for me.

Oh, and she said that she was going to go to the wedding whether or not I invite her. So, we're hiring a couple of guys that do security at a Gentlemen's Club who used to come into Subway when Carlo worked there. They're going to have a guest list, and if you aren't on the list, you're not getting in. I'm not having her ruin my wedding. I will not stand for it.

So, she fled the state with my Dad trying to have her served with papers. He's taking her to court over the child support that she refuses to pay. Oh, and to top it all off.. My suspicions were correct. She stole my pajamas.

Yes, my very own mother stole my pajamas. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif

She's probably Bi-Polar, at the very least. She's out of her F#%&$ING MIND!

My brother killed himself in August, and her ******** is the reason. She would leave absolutley no food in the house, leave for days on end, and give him no love and attention. I just need to vent..

I left a message on that woman's phone telling her that as far as my mom is concerned, her daughter is dead too.. Because no mother of mine would treat someone who cared about her so carelessly. I just had her first grandchild in December. She doesn't even call to check on him. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif She even forgot my living brother's birthday on Monday. Not even so much as a phone call.

She's such a victim, though, because none of this (of course!) is her fault.

We got into a fight over what she *claimed* that she paid for, and when I found out that she paid for NOTHING when she promised to pay for the flowers, the bridesmaids dresses, the cake, and 1/2 of the reception location... I had the invtations printed without her name. She's not on them at all. It says Mr. and Mrs. Greenie's Parents, but it's my Dad and Step Mom.. Becuase she's more interested and involved in my wedding than my bio-mom..

Twisted indeed.

I'm just so fed up. We've been having so many fights over her lying. She never calls. Never ever ever. She lies about where she's going, who she's with.. And after talking to Stacey all night, and off and on all day, we're both filling in the blanks for each other about the lies that she's told.

For instance, the money that was meant to g torwards the baby and the wedding.. Well, that was spent on an 8 day Carribean Cruise for my Mom and Stacey, but Stacey didn't know that she promised me that money. One night this week, my mom kept her phone busy for 5 hours. Stacey asked who she was talking to, and she said that she was talking to me and working out all of the problems that we have, *especially the things pertaining to Jens's death*. ********! She NEVER talked to me tht week, AT ALL, because we were fighting.. And she doesn't give a **** enough about her children to even *think* to try and make up with them. Stacey told her that she needed to make up with me, and work things out. She said that she would let me "cool down" and talk to me about it when I was ready to talk. Which would have been NEVER.

And the really messed up thing was, she lied about my Brother's Death to cover her cheating behind. That's so messed up. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif

countrygirl
04-13-2006, 04:47 PM
Carrie, It really really sucks that you are going thru that. I went thru alot of bull w my real father when I left my son's dad, and have since 'dis-owned' him. My step father on the other hand is a wonderful man, and his name will be printed on the invites. It's good that your stepmom is there for you and wants to be a part of it all.

Just remember how blessed you w your FH, and that beautiful little boy, and the family that DOES show they care. That is all you need in life.

I'm here for ya babe!!!

brewsells
04-13-2006, 04:53 PM
Carrie, I am really sorry for all the :censored: you have had to go through. I also went though a bunch of **** with my real father, and have since lost contact with him. (I think it was subconsciusly deliberate). But, now, my stepfather is the one I consider to be my dad. Just remember the family you have and that you are close with. That is all that matters.
Hang in there!

andysgirl07
04-13-2006, 05:12 PM
I'm sorry Carrie. That sucks!! We're all here for you ready with the chair :chair: should you need it!

usahgrad
04-13-2006, 05:51 PM
Sorry things are so rough for you. Good luck with everything. I'm sure that in the end, it will all work out for the better...no matter how it works out.

And, just a side note, from what I've heard, your mother does sound pretty twisted...no offense.

WhiskeyGirl
04-13-2006, 06:00 PM
**** Carrie, that sucks and I am so sorry you have to deal with this before the wedding but at least its not DURING the wedding! Take care and we are all here if you need us!! Feel free to vent Hun!

rainbowtreat
04-13-2006, 06:32 PM
I am with the rest of the girls Carrie. We are hear to listen, vent all you want.

WebLady
04-13-2006, 08:21 PM
Well girl we are all very sorry you are having to go through all this!

Who knows, maybe she will straighten up and apologize and things will be good with her one day, but until the if/when that day comes ... maybe you should try to put this behind you and move on. Try to concentrate your time and energy on the people who love and care about you and that are there for you now. You don't want to bring this kind of drama into your marriage nor into your son's life. So get it all out here and move on to bigger and better things and try not to let her ways get to you too much.

I know it is easier said than done, and I can relate at least a little. I wish you all the best ... I just know something good will come out of this eventually :hug:

CarlosHoney
04-14-2006, 02:22 AM
Thanks everyone! I just don't understand her. I really don't.

No word from her.. And from what my little bro says, this lady that she's moved in with is an Alcoholic and gets violent. Well, I guess we'll hear from her when she's in the hospital, black and blue, because this woman got a little too drunk.

On a much happier note, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood. He found me on MySpace, and I'm so thrilled that I got to talk to him! He's going to come to the wedding. We lived next door to each other, and hung out every single day, from the moment we got up, until we had to go inside. I was a Tomboy, so we were best friends, and there were three other guys that we were friends with.

Thanks again ladies. I just don't understand her. As far as I'm concerned, I'm going to forget about her.. I am, hovever, going to ask my family about what happened with my Grandmother and my Mother. I want to know if my Grandmother really was as bad as my Mom made her out to be, or if she just made herself the victim with that too.

Thanks, and goodnight! :bbmrgreen:

LaceyinPgh
04-14-2006, 07:00 AM
Carrie, I am so sorry that you have to deal with the bs from your mom. This is supposed to be such a happy time, getting married and having a beautiful new baby boy. Trust me I have been finding out a lot about family during this wedding planning process too. I was shocked. My mom and talked about it and decided that her family is very negative towards us and after the wedding she and I are weaning ourselves away from them. Normally I wouldn't advocate walking away from friends or family but you HAVE to do what is best not only for you but for Elias as well. It's better that he have tons of other relations and family friends around who are dedicated to him and who love him as opposed to one grandma who is a total selfish flake.

You can't change people. You can only see their mistakes and try to improve on them. Just be a better wife to Carlo and mother to Elias than your mom was able to be. Just make sure that you love them both. That way something good will come out of this situation.

MOB Karen
04-14-2006, 05:26 PM
Thanks everyone! I just don't understand her. I really don't.

No word from her.. And from what my little bro says, this lady that she's moved in with is an Alcoholic and gets violent. Well, I guess we'll hear from her when she's in the hospital, black and blue, because this woman got a little too drunk.

On a much happier note, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood. He found me on MySpace, and I'm so thrilled that I got to talk to him! He's going to come to the wedding. We lived next door to each other, and hung out every single day, from the moment we got up, until we had to go inside. I was a Tomboy, so we were best friends, and there were three other guys that we were friends with.

Thanks again ladies. I just don't understand her. As far as I'm concerned, I'm going to forget about her.. I am, hovever, going to ask my family about what happened with my Grandmother and my Mother. I want to know if my Grandmother really was as bad as my Mom made her out to be, or if she just made herself the victim with that too.

Thanks, and goodnight! :bbmrgreen:

What a contrast, Carrie, between you and your mother. From the posts that I have had the pleasure of reading, you are a wonderful Mother, Sister, Friend, Minister, and soon to be Wife. I would be so proud to have you for a daughter!