Reception and alcohol

[AllyM1]

We were planning on having some alcohol at my reception. We wanted to have a host bar with a cap of $500 then for topshelf liquor it would be a cash bar. My only problem is I have a couple family members that would abuse this. My uncle is a severe alcoholic and my brother will drink whenever it's available.

I would like to still have alcohol at the reception, but I just don't know what to do. Is there anyway I could have someone inform people that there is a bar but it is limited to a few drinks a person? I need serious help!! =)

My other 2 options are to make it all a cash bar or to just scrap the whole alcohol idea.

[Jenn060306]

You're bartenders should have their Smart Serve Certification. They should be able to see when someone has had enough and cut them off.
My reception is an open bar as well. The cooridinator said that if the servers feel someone has had enough they will notify her and she will speak to a family member about not allowing them to have any more. The bar tenders have the right to not serve a customer if they feel that they have had more then enough to drink.
Make sure you're bartenders have the proper training and let them know that there are some family members who may abuse the open bar.
Good Luck! I hope it all works out for you!

[MOB Karen]

Another great answer by Jennifer! I hadn't even thought of this problem until Ally brought it up, but we are also having an open bar, four hours of unlimited drinks. That could become a problem for some people if they aren't checked. Having the bartender do it for you is the perfect solution.

[CindySue]

This is why Im glad Im having mine at home. We will have alcohol but only a certain amount. When its gone.....its gone.

[countrygirl]

I think we are only having beer and wine at ours, but we too have some people who will abuse it. Because of that problem, our reception hall requires a uniformed officer on duty at the reception. But yes, your servers should cut them off if they feel the guests have reached thier limit. That is a good reason to have someone serving the alc. rather than guests serving themselves.

[CindySue]

I think we are only having beer and wine at ours,
Thats what we are having but instead of wine, Im making a sangria punch.

[countrygirl]

Thats what we are having but instead of wine, Im making a sangria punch.


OOOOOOH, I like sangrias!!!

How do you make yours??:bbmrgreen:

[WhiskeyGirl]

Jenn hit the nail on the head. Your bar tenders are supposed to cut off anyone who they think might be going a little over board! And it doesn't hurt to notify the bar tender of potential problem drinkers. Thats what we did and things seemed to work out for us, no problems from the alcoholics on my moms side!! (which is a suprise!!!!)

[CindySue]

OOOOOOH, I like sangrias!!!

How do you make yours??:bbmrgreen:

Basic Sangria Recipe
Sangria is the perfect summer drink. It's a mix of red wine and hard liquor. Think of it as fruit punch for the adults :)
1 bottle Rioja or other red wine
shotglass of lime juice
2 shots Bacardi
Random fruit as desired
This is about as easy as it gets for Sangria. Customize it with things YOU like! Mix all ingredients together and chill in the fridge overnight. The next morning, toss in some ice cubes and serve!

[tha_mrs]

I, myself am not going to have a bar. My father's side and my FH's mother's side....together would be a world bad.....very very very bad!(lol) I am sure the reception would be on world news tonight! I just don't think I can do it. So we are having the reception at his church's community center. That way they can't even BYOB!:bblol:

[LaceyinPgh]

Sean and I are doing an open bar. Quite frankly, we aren't liable for anyone's over indulgence. Check your contract, in most states the server or the venue is liable if someone gets drunk. Sinc ethat is the case 99.999% of bartenders will cut someone off at the first glimpse of them having too much. That is beacuse the bartender and where they work will get the lawsuit not you. If there isn't a liability clause in your contract tell your venue that you want one put in there. If they refuse, find another venue or purchase liability insurance through your local insurance company. It isn't that expensive.

We are doing an open bar because we know that our friends and family will enjoy it. It is also built into the contract that we pay by the person. The alcohol is built into that. So if our freinds each have 10 beers and my grandma only drinks ginger ale, it still all balances out for all invovled parties. Anyone attending under the age of 21 has $25 shaved off of the per person price.

[CarlosHoney]

Well, check this... I don't think I saw this posted (yet) but there are a few hearty drinkers coming to our wedding too..

We're talking about our options:

-Beer & Wine included; Liquor is Cash
-Open Bar for first 2 hours of the reception, cash after that
-Signature Coctail

But, either way we go, we're going to point out problem drinkers and have the bartender go a little easy/water their drinks down. I don't want problems either!

[AllyM1]

I'm still up in arms as to what to do. I may just keep with the open bar and then like you said, have the bartender maybe keep track of how many my uncle or anyone else has and then cut them off... My uncle is a BIG drinker so he probably could drink 30 beers and still be okay.

Thanks everyone for your feedback! :bbbiggrin:

[Kacie_bride]

My guest list is 240 and we are only having 2 kegs of beer and some wine. We have some heavy drinkers who would abuse it if we had too much. Perhaps have people by word of mouth let everyone know that each person is only allowed for example 2 free drinks a piece.

[MOB Karen]

I'm still up in arms as to what to do. I may just keep with the open bar and then like you said, have the bartender maybe keep track of how many my uncle or anyone else has and then cut them off... My uncle is a BIG drinker so he probably could drink 30 beers and still be okay.

Thanks everyone for your feedback! :bbbiggrin:

Yeah, that's a problem when they can drink everyone else under the table, and still look like they aren't drunk. It's like the only solution would be to limit everyone to a certain number of drinks. It just doesn't seem fair to those who aren't abusers. Good luck, Ally!

[CindySue]

I'm still up in arms as to what to do. I may just keep with the open bar and then like you said, have the bartender maybe keep track of how many my uncle or anyone else has and then cut them off... My uncle is a BIG drinker so he probably could drink 30 beers and still be okay.

Thanks everyone for your feedback! :bbbiggrin:
Hey you could always go with Brians original idea for OUR reception - BYOB!

[Kacie_bride]

Hey you could always go with Brians original idea for OUR reception - BYOB!

Yes she could if it is allowed. At our venue you can bring in your own hard liquor, but not beer and wine. The city where our wedding is at is in a semi-dry county. They only sell beer and wine in our county. Actually some cities in the county are totally dry and do not sell any alcohol.

[CindySue]

Yes she could if it is allowed. At our venue you can bring in your own hard liquor, but not beer and wine. The city where our wedding is at is in a semi-dry county. They only sell beer and wine in our county. Actually some cities in the county are totally dry and do not sell any alcohol.
Yeah, the county we live in is dry, and we have to go 2 counties over if we want alcohol. We are havingour reception at our house so most rules dont apply.
And when Brian came up with the BYOB idea, all I could think was "over my dead body!"

[Kacie_bride]

To get liquor we only have to drive one county over to Harris County. They have a liquor store right on the Liberty/Harris County line!

[CindySue]

To get liquor we only have to drive one county over to Harris County. They have a liquor store right on the Liberty/Harris County line!
Van Zandt county is dry, we have to go to either Kaufman county or Upshur county. When I lived in Henderson county, there was a beer store 2 miles down the road!

[rainbowtreat]

I cant imagine livign in a "dry" place. In Maine they did away with the liquir stores. The sell all of it in drug stores and grocery stores now. Here in NH you can drive down the highway and the rest stop is a liquir store. That I will never understand.

[WhiskeyGirl]

The only "dry" parts we have here in Canada are Native reserves. I swear in my city alone there are 5 liquor stores for every one person!!! I am not kidding!! :bbcry:

[andysgirl07]

I live in a dry county also - one of the only one's (I think) left in Alabama. I love it. It's one of the reasons I want to stay here to raise my kids if we have any.

[RebeccaW]

yeah we dont live in a "Dry" county either. liqiour(spll) store is about 5 mins away or so.

[Kacie_bride]

I cant imagine livign in a "dry" place. In Maine they did away with the liquir stores. The sell all of it in drug stores and grocery stores now. Here in NH you can drive down the highway and the rest stop is a liquir store. That I will never understand.

I could be wrong, but I think dry counties are very popular among the Southern states. It probably has to do with the amount of Baptist people (especially Southern Baptist). I know in my area there is a Baptist church everywhere you turn around. There are also a lot of Church of Christ and they are against drinking as well. We also have our fair share of Pentacostals and I'm not 100% sure, but I think they are against drinking too. I don't know of any counties around central Texas that are dry. There are a lot of Lutherans and Catholics around there.

[LaceyinPgh]

Where I was growing up, we were right across the boarder of a dry county in Ohio. I'm not even sure if they still are dry or not. But in West Virginia you can buy beer and wine in the grocery store or the gas station. But, you have to go to a state store to buy anything hard. Now that I live in Pennsylvania, you have to go to the state stores for you wine and liquor but you have to go to a beer distributor to buy the beer. It is a confusing system.

[Jenn060306]

I don't know that we have any dry areas in Canada.
Here we have the Beer Store where you buy beer obviously. But then there is the LCBO (Liquor control board Ontario) where you can buy some beer mostly the fancier types, wine, and hard liquor. Those are the only places you can buy it except for the wine shops that some supermarkets have. There is nothing that you can buy off the shelf in the supermakets or anywhere eles.

There are a couple places up north where the communities are too small to have a store on its own so some of the small conveinence stores have some but those are rare.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I don't know that we have any dry areas in Canada.
Here we have the Beer Store where you buy beer obviously. But then there is the LCBO (Liquor control board Ontario) where you can buy some beer mostly the fancier types, wine, and hard liquor. Those are the only places you can buy it except for the wine shops that some supermarkets have. There is nothing that you can buy off the shelf in the supermakets or anywhere eles.

There are a couple places up north where the communities are too small to have a store on its own so some of the small conveinence stores have some but those are rare.

The only dry areas in Canada tend to be the Native reserves! And liquor stores are government run in most provinces except Alberta where they are privately owned...meaning there is a liquor store on every corner and they are open almost 24 hours. Am I wrong in saying that most liquor stores in Ontario are closed at certain times and only open after 11 am or so?? Here you can buy booze any time day or night depending on each liquor store! I think it's really sad adn disgusting if you ask me! but then I come from a family (not my mom and dad but my mom's side of the family) who are alcoholics and I really hate liquor of any kind!!

[Jenn060306]

. Am I wrong in saying that most liquor stores in Ontario are closed at certain times and only open after 11 am or so??
I'm not sure what time they open, but 10 or 11am i think. They close arround 8 or 9pm most of the year. But during the summer they can stay open to 10 or 11pm. Get alot of Cottage go'ers. They are also closed on all the stat holidays, New Years Day, Good Friday, Easter Sunday, Victoria Day, Canada Day, The Civic Holiday, Labour Day, Christmas Day....
Quebec has alot of conveinces stores/ gas stations if i am remembering correctly. It's probaly much the same as Alberta, you can buy it any time you want. When i lived in Alberta there was the liqour store that had everything all in one place. I can't remember what it was called but it's alot like our LCBO.

[Kacie_bride]

The laws in Texas are you cannot sale any alcohol in convience stores or grocery stores after 12:00 AM. On Sunday you cannot sale it until noon. The bars can have liquor licenses to sell until midnight or 2 AM. After that you cannot sale any alcohol of any kind. I found it very weird when I was in Vegas because you can drink all day and all night if you want to.

[CindySue]

Around this part of Texas, you can not buy hard liquor after 9pm except at a club or restaurant. You can still buy beer and wine until 12, unless you have a license that allows for longer.

[Kacie_bride]

I think it is the same here. When I was saying you can buy alcohol until 12 at convience stores I was meaning beer and stuff.

[CindySue]

I think it is the same here. When I was saying you can buy alcohol until 12 at convience stores I was meaning beer and stuff.
I think you can get a license for different times of cut off.

[Kacie_bride]

Everything around here stops selling at midnight. And you can't get anything before noon on Sundays!

[darkangel090260]

if you are worried about people getting out of hand with the drinking you can also get a roll of those ticks they use for school and thing like that and give each guest 2 or 3 and when they use there tickets then they are done or need to pay cash.. It just a ideal and if my brother or a few other family member were going to be there i would use that ideal

[CindySue]

We had alcohol at my reception this past weekend. I was sorta worried about everyone getting tipsy and causing problems. Do you know that we ended up still having over half of what we bought left? NOBODY got carried away. NOBODY acted like an idiot. I was very shocked (and pleased) with how the recption turned out.

[MOB Karen]

We had alcohol at my reception this past weekend. I was sorta worried about everyone getting tipsy and causing problems. Do you know that we ended up still having over half of what we bought left? NOBODY got carried away. NOBODY acted like an idiot. I was very shocked (and pleased) with how the recption turned out.

That's wonderful, Cindy!! It sounds like your wedding was a smashing success!!

[Valmai]

If you had a wedding in the UK without alcohol then if people knew beforehand they wouldnt turn up and if they did then they would leave very soon after. Alcohol is one of those major cultural differences i think between us and America, it is constantly present thru our every day lives and most certainly when it comes to a celebration of any kind!
Valmai xxx

[countrygirl]

If you had a wedding in the UK without alcohol then if people knew beforehand they wouldnt turn up and if they did then they would leave very soon after. Alcohol is one of those major cultural differences i think between us and America, it is constantly present thru our every day lives and most certainly when it comes to a celebration of any kind!
Valmai xxx

The prob w the states (in my opinion) is that people start 'celebrating' and then forget what they are celebrating for. They are just shooting to get drunk. All too often, they just look to get drunk.

We are having beer and wine only at ours. It will be an open bar, but we are going to have someone there to serve it. We will have ALOT of military, and rednecks, and they just LOVE to drink. We have to watch the consumption because we have to have a uniformed cop on duty thru the reception. So, no one will allowed to drive drunk. Good safety measure!!!

[Kacie_bride]

If you had a wedding in the UK without alcohol then if people knew beforehand they wouldnt turn up and if they did then they would leave very soon after. Alcohol is one of those major cultural differences i think between us and America, it is constantly present thru our every day lives and most certainly when it comes to a celebration of any kind!
Valmai xxx

I've heard that in Europe people are much more liberal when it comes to alcohol. Is it true that even children drink wine with meals over there? Do you guys over there have problems with alcoholism? I was just wondering because over here I think we have a big problem with alcohol abuse. Perhaps it is because it is something looked down upon. It's like when someone tells you that you can't have something you want it more. Therefore, it makes it that much more appealing.

I think alcohol is acceptable as long as it's used in moderation. I am Lutheran, so even from a religous standpoint I believe this. I can't say that I have never over indulged or will never again, but this is my basic belief.

[StaceyMc]

We're having our reception at the church, no alcohol permitted. If someone is unhappy that they can't drink, then they are attending our ceremony and reception for the wrong reason. I will bid them farewell and they can go down the street to the bar.

[CindySue]

We're having our reception at the church, no alcohol permitted. If someone is unhappy that they can't drink, then they are attending our ceremony and reception for the wrong reason. I will bid them farewell and they can go down the street to the bar.
I agree. If your venue doesnt permit alcohol or you just dont want it there and someone gets mad.....then you know they werent really interested in being there to see you get married.
Only Valmai has it right for most of the places here too. Most people expect alcohol at a wedding.

[WebLady]

I am all for having alcohol at a party, but I don't want to have to be the one to pay for it. Plus I don't want to have to be responsible for how much ppl drink and how they are getting home.

When we had our reception party we added the cash bar with a bartender and he was checking ID and such. I put it on the invites about drinking responsibly and bringing a designated driver ... but our party was not a traditional wedding reception.

We're having our reception at the church, no alcohol permitted. If someone is unhappy that they can't drink, then they are attending our ceremony and reception for the wrong reason. I will bid them farewell and they can go down the street to the bar.

I agree!! A wedding is a celebration of your marriage. When ppl come it is suppose to be to support you. It shouldn't be about giving ppl a free night out.

[StaceyMc]

Most people expect alcohol at weddings here too. I'm actually glad that we decided to have the reception at the church, then I didn't have to wrestle with the cash bar vs. dry reception vs. footing the entire alcohol bill.

[Kacie_bride]

We're having our reception at the church, no alcohol permitted. If someone is unhappy that they can't drink, then they are attending our ceremony and reception for the wrong reason. I will bid them farewell and they can go down the street to the bar.

I agree with you 100%.

[rainbowtreat]

I agree with what all ofyou have said. When it comes ot my family and his for tha tmatter, they all like to drink. More then me seeing I rarely drink any more. But I know the one who are there are there for me. The reception is at the American Legion where there is a bar. People can drink if they watn it is up to them. The party would be just as fun with out the drinks. But my family seems to think you have to drink when you get together. They are always tryign to get me to drink when I go home. I gues they dont realize that I just dont do it much any more. I will have one or 2 with them and that is it.

[Kacie_bride]

There will be beer and wine at our reception. Justin and I will have our own bottle of champagne. I only plan to have a glass or two of champagne because our flight leaves the next morning at 7 AM and we are staying in Houston for the night. That means we have to leave the reception and drive to the hotel in Houston which will take us at least an hour, probably an hour and a half.

[LaceyinPgh]

Sean and I must be the odd ones out. Maybe it is because we grew up watching LA Law and were taught to admire the three martini lunch crowd. Or, it could be the fact that we in general enjoy a good drink or two as do all of our friends and family memebers. Or it could be the fact that we feel our guests are adults and can handle themselves. But an open top shelf bar was a MUST with us. There was no way around it. Of course that also turned into a martini station and passed frozen margaritas and daquairis too. Our friends and family will expect a drink or two. They have ever right too. In my opinion they are giving up a Saturday on a holiday weekend, paying for a sitter and a gift and some of them some MAJOR travel expenses. The least we can do is make sure they have a kick butt night out on us since they are helping us celebrate.

[Valmai]

Lacey i was beginning to think it was a culture thing (or i was a raving alcoholic), i like a drink and when i go out it doesn't seem a proper night without a drink or two, the same as for us (and most british) it would not be a wedding without alcohol. Yeah some people get drunk, obviously, but thats to be expected it doesnt mean we are wrong for wanting alcohol there or for our guests to expect it. In our culture thats the way it is it but it also doesnt mean that those who want an alcohol free wedding are wrong thats their perogative. If people didnt want to share our day with us then they wouldnt go to all that expense - alcohol or not!
Valmai xxx

[Amber818]

Lacey and Valmai...I am sooo with you! Our reception has a 4 hour open bar that my mom is paying for well she is paying for everything but the open bar is one of my favorite things. I too enjoy a drink and it is no surprise that things are a little more relaxed and fun with a cocktail or two! I am just so happy that we can offer our guests that sort of decadence. How cool is it to go to a reception, go up to the bar, ask for a drink, and NOT have to pay for it?!?!? Love it!!

[Amber818]

We're having our reception at the church, no alcohol permitted. If someone is unhappy that they can't drink, then they are attending our ceremony and reception for the wrong reason. I will bid them farewell and they can go down the street to the bar.

Stacey, I agree with you on going to a bar thing. We went to a dry wedding once and celebrated with the bride a groom for a little bit. Once the activites were over about 90% of the wedding including the bridal party minus the bride a groom went to a local bar and ended the night there. We had a blast. There are always other options ; )

[MOB Karen]

Stacey, I agree with you on going to a bar thing. We went to a dry wedding once and celebrated with the bride a groom for a little bit. Once the activites were over about 90% of the wedding including the bridal party minus the bride a groom went to a local bar and ended the night there. We had a blast. There are always other options ; )

Besides that, I think dry weddings are boring. JMO

[Jenn060306]

We are having an open bar as well. It will be staffed by trained staff who know how much is enough and can recognize when someone has had to many drinks. They have told us they will cut off anyone who has had to many drinks. We will also be paying for cabs for anyone who needs one.
I feel like it is a nice guesture because coming to a wedding isn't cheap.

[MOB Karen]

We are having an open bar as well. It will be staffed by trained staff who know how much is enough and can recognize when someone has had to many drinks. They have told us they will cut off anyone who has had to many drinks. We will also be paying for cabs for anyone who needs one.
I feel like it is a nice guesture because coming to a wedding isn't cheap.


I think that is a fantastic thing to do.

[CindySue]

Besides that, I think dry weddings are boring. JMO
They may be boring, but I cant really see Stacey smuggling a keg into the church. :bbconfused:

While alcohol at a wedding may be "expected", if the venue doesnt allow it or the couple just doesnt want it, then its completely within their right. If guests have a problem with that, thats what the "no" box on the RSVP card is for. Im not trying to offend or upset anybody, but I dont like how so many couples are forced to do stuff they really dont want. There was a couple in my hometown that were both recovering alcoholics and they REFUSED to have alcohol of ANY kind at their wedding. (well I couldnt really blame them.) People actually threw fits about it. Now thats just not right.

[WhiskeyGirl]

They may be boring, but I cant really see Stacey smuggling a keg into the church. :bbconfused:

While alcohol at a wedding may be "expected", if the venue doesnt allow it or the couple just doesnt want it, then its completely with their right. If guests have a problem with that, thats what the "no" box on the RSVP card it for.

Agreed! Besides, isn't the reason you are there is for the bride and groom??? Not for the booze???!!! Stacey is so very right, when she says ya don't like it, theres the door! I wish I had done a dry reception or a limited reception, my mom's family has a bit of a problem and tend to get embarassing after having too many! Like my aunt following my FIL around like a puppy dog and flirting with him! Come on AUNTIE, he's my father in law and he's married!! No cooth!! lol. And then there is my cousin trying to take my SIL's bf home with her because he "is hot and from Germany". She was only right on one of those and that is that he is from Germany! lol. I think my SIL and cousin almost got into a cat fight!! If there wasn't booze, none of this probably wouldn't have happened! But whats done is done!

[StaceyMc]

Karen - I'm sorry that you think that my dry wedding will be boring.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a drink now and than too, but a bar just isn't in our budget. Joe and I talked about having alcohol at the wedding, neither of us cared if we did or didn't. For the sake of the budget and convenience of our guests in the middle of February in Western PA, we opted to have the reception at the church. Even if someone else were paying for the wedding, we'd probably do the same thing.

I must be in the minority with my views on weddings. I think the ceremony is the most important part and hate when people attend the reception and not the ceremony. If I had my way, we wouldn't announce the reception site until guests arrived at the ceremony.

Oh nevermind, I'm not going to defend my decisions - I just hate to be called boring by someone who doesn't know me.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Karen - I'm sorry that you think that my dry wedding will be boring.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a drink now and than too, but a bar just isn't in our budget. Joe and I talked about having alcohol at the wedding, neither of us cared if we did or didn't. For the sake of the budget and convenience of our guests in the middle of February in Western PA, we opted to have the reception at the church. Even if someone else were paying for the wedding, we'd probably do the same thing.

I must be in the minority with my views on weddings. I think the ceremony is the most important part and hate when people attend the reception and not the ceremony. If I had my way, we wouldn't announce the reception site until guests arrived at the ceremony.

Oh nevermind, I'm not going to defend my decisions - I just hate to be caleld boring by someone who doesn't know me.

I totally agree with you Stacey! It should be all about the ceremony and not the reception! I couldn't agree with you more Hun!

[CindySue]

Karen - I'm sorry that you think that my dry wedding will be boring.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a drink now and than too, but a bar just isn't in our budget. Joe and I talked about having alcohol at the wedding, neither of us cared if we did or didn't. For the sake of the budget and convenience of our guests in the middle of February in Western PA, we opted to have the reception at the church. Even if someone else were paying for the wedding, we'd probably do the same thing.

I must be in the minority with my views on weddings. I think the ceremony is the most important part and hate when people attend the reception and not the ceremony. If I had my way, we wouldn't announce the reception site until guests arrived at the ceremony.

Oh nevermind, I'm not going to defend my decisions - I just hate to be caleld boring by someone who doesn't know me.

Stacey.....its YOUR wedding and YOUR decisions. You dont have to defend them. EVeryone has their own opinions about this subject. I had alcohol at mine, but thats what WE wanted. If we hadnt wanted, it wouldnt have been there.

[Kacie_bride]

They may be boring, but I cant really see Stacey smuggling a keg into the church. :bbconfused:

While alcohol at a wedding may be "expected", if the venue doesnt allow it or the couple just doesnt want it, then its completely within their right. If guests have a problem with that, thats what the "no" box on the RSVP card is for. Im not trying to offend or upset anybody, but I dont like how so many couples are forced to do stuff they really dont want. There was a couple in my hometown that were both recovering alcoholics and they REFUSED to have alcohol of ANY kind at their wedding. (well I couldnt really blame them.) People actually threw fits about it. Now thats just not right.

I'm sorry, but I had to laugh at the thought of smuggling a keg into the church!!!! :bblol: I got this image of someone in a mask and black attire, watching their back, rolling the keg in!

I agree with you. I can't believe anyone would be mad at a people who were recovering alcoholics not having any alcohol at their reception. That is ridiculous.

On this issue, I say to each his own. My reception will have alcohol, but I have been to receptions that do not and they were still about the same to me. If I drink I only have a drink or two anyway, so it's not like I get anything out of it.

The booze is not the reason for the party. It's the bride and groom.

[CindySue]

On this issue, I say to each his own. My reception will have alcohol, but I have been to receptions that do not and they were still about the same to me. If I drink I only have a drink or two anyway, so it's not like I get anything out of it.
Ive been to both, and they were the same to me too.

[MOB Karen]

Karen - I'm sorry that you think that my dry wedding will be boring.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a drink now and than too, but a bar just isn't in our budget. Joe and I talked about having alcohol at the wedding, neither of us cared if we did or didn't. For the sake of the budget and convenience of our guests in the middle of February in Western PA, we opted to have the reception at the church. Even if someone else were paying for the wedding, we'd probably do the same thing.

I must be in the minority with my views on weddings. I think the ceremony is the most important part and hate when people attend the reception and not the ceremony. If I had my way, we wouldn't announce the reception site until guests arrived at the ceremony.

Oh nevermind, I'm not going to defend my decisions - I just hate to be called boring by someone who doesn't know me.

You're right I don't know you, and I was not personally addressing my comment to you. I was just giving my opinion, which I thought we could do.

[Amber818]

Karen - I'm sorry that you think that my dry wedding will be boring.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a drink now and than too, but a bar just isn't in our budget. Joe and I talked about having alcohol at the wedding, neither of us cared if we did or didn't. For the sake of the budget and convenience of our guests in the middle of February in Western PA, we opted to have the reception at the church. Even if someone else were paying for the wedding, we'd probably do the same thing.

I must be in the minority with my views on weddings. I think the ceremony is the most important part and hate when people attend the reception and not the ceremony. If I had my way, we wouldn't announce the reception site until guests arrived at the ceremony.

Oh nevermind, I'm not going to defend my decisions - I just hate to be called boring by someone who doesn't know me.

Stacey,
Please do not take offense! It was just an opinion and she never said "you" were boring. It is just a personal preference and as adults we are allowed to have them. I think your wedding will be wonderful and can't wait to hear all about it.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I guess what we must learn (myself included) is that sometimes what we say can really be taken to heart by others choosing to do things that particular way!

A reception is what you make of it! You can have a great time at a kegger and you can have a great time at a dry function! It really depends on how open minded a person is. One might go saying that its going to be a horriable time, another may go and say they are going to enjoy the bride and groom and have a wonderful time! Its really how a person themselves perseives the party that will happen! Stacey, if any of your guests don't want to come to your wedding because its a dry reception, call me, I'll try and be there in a heart beat!

[Amber818]

You made some good points, Shawna. I think it is important for everyone to be able to speak their mind on here and have the ability to accept what others have to say without taking it to heart. That is the point of an open discussion. I hope no one has hard feelings and can accept everyone's point of view.

[CindySue]

Stacey, if any of your guests don't want to come to your wedding because its a dry reception, call me, I'll try and be there in a heart beat!
Me too!!!!!

[MOB Karen]

I have actually changed my opinion on some things by listening to what other people have to say about it. Then there are some things that I am adamant about and will not change. But one thing is certain, I will not personally attack anyone ever.

[Amber818]

I have actually changed my opinion on some things by listening to what other people have to say about it. Then there are some things that I am adamant about and will not change. But one thing is certain, I will not personally attack anyone ever.

I couldn't agree more...

[WhiskeyGirl]

You made some good points, Shawna. I think it is important for everyone to be able to speak their mind on here and have the ability to accept what others have to say without taking it to heart. That is the point of an open discussion. I hope no one has hard feelings and can accept everyone's point of view.

That wasn't my point about taking things to heart! Sometimes we as people are going to take things to heart no matter what. I think we all need to remember to keep things in the broader context, as the person who is maybe taking it to heart and as the person stating their opinions! We've had many Great discussions on onewed. And yes some times it gets heated but let us remember that we all have differing matters of opinions, it doesn't make us any better or any worse then any other lady (or gentleman) on this site!! I wish everyone the best, and hope that their choices and decisions are right for Them! Good luck and God bless everyone!

[Amber818]

My point was that when stating ones opinion we shouldn't take things to heart and should take it for what it was: an opinon. I just wanted to clarify. No one is better then anyone else on here. We are all just people wanting to get our opinons out and I am sorry if it was taken in offense.

Who would have thought this would have been such a controversial issue....LOL! I, for one, need a drink!!! LOL...that was a joke!!! :beer_smile:

[WhiskeyGirl]

My point was that when stating ones opinion we shouldn't take things to heart and should take it for what it was: an opinon. I just wanted to clarify. No one is better then anyone else on here. We are all just people wanting to get our opinons out and I am sorry if it was taken in offense.

Who would have thought this would have been such a controversial issue....LOL! I, for one, need a drink!!! LOL...that was a joke!!! :beer_smile:

Hee hee! Pour me one too! I could use it today! :wink:

[StaceyMc]

Oh my goodness, if I had known that my response was going to start the whole "I'm stating my opinion" stuff, I wouldn't have posted. I in no way, shape or form was trying to stomp on anyone's opinion. Everyone has an opinion, that's fine.

Having something I am putting my heart and soul (not to mention tons of cash) into called boring hit me a little funny. Believe me, I'm not offended by anyone's statement - I'm happy with the way our reception/ceremony are being planned.

Forget I said anything.

[Kacie_bride]

Oh my goodness, if I had known that my response was going to start the whole "I'm stating my opinion" stuff, I wouldn't have posted. I in no way, shape or form was trying to stomp on anyone's opinion. Everyone has an opinion, that's fine.

Having something I am putting my heart and soul (not to mention tons of cash) into called boring hit me a little funny. Believe me, I'm not offended by anyone's statement - I'm happy with the way our reception/ceremony are being planned.

Forget I said anything.

I can see how it might have gotten to you. However, I do not think Karen meant it the way it came out or appeared. It's okay though. I think now that everyone is on the same page we can all get past this and go on with our planning and discussions.

[LaceyinPgh]

You know what? I am too sick for this bickering today! You really don't want to make me get out of bed and come on here and straighten you ladies out.

Karen didn't mean it that way. I think she meant that she, like me, likes a nice drink at a wedding. Not everyone feels that way. Different values, cultures, ideas, and circumstances shape us all. I have never had a problem with alcohol and know very few people who do. It to me is something to partake in occasionally. Not everyone has had those positive experiences.

Stacey your wedding by no means is going to be boring. If it starts to get dull, call me, I'll liven the party up some.

I'll tell you what I tell my students, don't make me duct tape you to your chairs until you can all learn to play nice! It is going to hurt like hell when I pull that tape off at the end!

[darkangel090260]

we are having a dry wedding and if anyone dont like it then they can take there happy back side and find the door. I dont what a bunch of drunk fulls arround my children or the children of the other guest. Our wedding is about family not getting sh*** faced

[WebLady]

I for one like a drink every now and then (I SO want one now, I haven't had one in like 2 months because of the allergy meds I am taking :() but I don't like the idea of paying for others to ... plus I don't want to have to be the one to worry about who has too many and drives home, not to mention the chance of minors drinking!

I have been to weddings with booze and those without and in most cases they both were just as nice. There were a couple that didn't even have dancing (talk about boring) and there were a couple that things got a little out of hand.

All in all, I think it should be more about the couple and what they want and can afford ... as guests we should be there for love and support not for the free booze, food, or whatever. I say :p on tradition and just do it how you want it, celebrate how you see fit and if others don't like it then :p on them.

Just my opinions here ;)

[andysgirl07]

Well, I'm gonna jump right in and make myself sound like a small town gal, but I've never even been to a wedding where there was alcohol (mostly because I live in a dry county). But (here's the kicker), I've never been to a wedding where there was dancing at the reception. I've heard about it being done at weddings in other bigger towns, but I guess it's just not something we do around here. So to me, it doesn't matter if there's alcohol or dancing. I've always enjoyed the weddings I attended because I look at it as a celebration of the couple.

[Jenn060306]

The tough thing about posting messages on these boards, or talking on msn, or in chat rooms is you can't hear the tone of voice someone would use so it's difficult to know what they mean all the time.

I'm sorry to see people's feelings have been hurt. I hope that everyone can work past their differences. I've never been to a dry wedding. But i can imagine they are really nice. You shouldn't need alcohol to make it more fun. But i can see that it can take the edge off at times and make you feel a little more comfortable arround people you don't know.
Everyone should do what suits their wants and desires for their weddings because it is their wedding not anyone eles's.

[Kacie_bride]

Well, I'm gonna jump right in and make myself sound like a small town gal, but I've never even been to a wedding where there was alcohol (mostly because I live in a dry county). But (here's the kicker), I've never been to a wedding where there was dancing at the reception. I've heard about it being done at weddings in other bigger towns, but I guess it's just not something we do around here. So to me, it doesn't matter if there's alcohol or dancing. I've always enjoyed the weddings I attended because I look at it as a celebration of the couple.

You've never been to a wedding reception where there was dancing! Wow! I live in a small town too (700 ppl) and there is dancing most of the time even if there is no alcohol. Is it because of religous views toward dancing (heavy Southern Baptist) or just because people just don't do it? I was just wondering. Do you still have a DJ or a band then?

[andysgirl07]

It's definitely not a religious thing - it's just not something we do. I'm not having a d.j. or a band (I don't have a need for either). We are going to have music during the ceremony, but not at the reception. And the music is going to be from a cd. Another thing I've noticed that's different is about the bridal shower. Most people don't invite anyone to the bridal shower that's not invited to the wedding. That's definitely not how we do it! Everyone you know is invited to the shower as a way to get everyone together (from both the bride's and groom's side) and celebrate. Don't get me wrong - it's not just for gifts or anything like that. Most of the time the entire family will just get you one gift (for example a gift from my family would be from me, my mom and sister, my two aunts, my grandma, and my great-aunt).

[WebLady]

The tough thing about posting messages on these boards, or talking on msn, or in chat rooms is you can't hear the tone of voice someone would use so it's difficult to know what they mean all the time ...
This is why we need more smileys ;)

[CindySue]

This is why we need more smileys ;)
I agree......smileys really help you understand how something is being relayed!!!

[LizabethDavis]

Pat and I were debating for a long time about whether we will be having alcohol at our wedding or not, but after the loss of my friend to drunk driving this past week, there will be no alcohol at our wedding...

[Kacie_bride]

Pat and I were debating for a long time about whether we will be having alcohol at our wedding or not, but after the loss of my friend to drunk driving this past week, there will be no alcohol at our wedding...

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I completely understand why you would not want alcohol at your wedding. Thank God a number of the people at our wedding, which will have alcohol, will also be staying the night at the resort so we can avoid drunk driving. Drunk driving is so not worth the consequences.

[LizabethDavis]

I think I would have considered it, had this situation not happened. I would like to think that people would be responsible enough to know better, but after what happened, I am not willing to take the chance.

[Kacie_bride]

I think I would have considered it, had this situation not happened. I would like to think that people would be responsible enough to know better, but after what happened, I am not willing to take the chance.

I don't blame you.

[CindySue]

I don't blame you.
I dont either.
In the beginning I wasnt sure that alcohol was going to be apart of our reception. The guest list at that time included some unsavory people when theyve been drinking. As we started weeding the guest list, Brian started getting rid of his "party" friends. I think he might have known if they would be there, then alcohol probably wouldnt.

[katieandalex]

Great answer Jenn. I think just let the bartenders know that there a few people who may have some drinking problems at the reception and to cut them off if they think its getting out of hand. I wouldn't scrap the idea because there are probably plenty of people who would like to have a drink to two at the reception. I know if I did a dry reception with my family, everyone would leave right after the meal...so I don't know about your family and such, but I think I would just leave it up to the bartenders discresion. (sp?)