Question

[LaceyinPgh]

As you all know, I had some trouble with a bridesmaid a few weeks back. I decided that I had neither the time nor the energy to deal with her neediness at this point in my life. I'm not mad at her. I want things to work out well for her. I certainly don't hate her. I just don't really have the required time to spend with her. Most of you read her emails so you know what Ia m talking about. Well, I sent out my invitations on Saturday. I didn't send one to her or her mother. Should I send them out? I mean at one time I was close enough to her to want her to share the biggest day of my life to this point with me. I just want her to know that it wasn't easy for me to cut her out of my life all together. It almost killed me to tell her that I didn't want her in my wedding party any more. Should I just invite her and hope for the best? Or, do I just let sleeping dogs like. My biggest fear is her getting smashed and then doing or saying something really out of line at my wedding. Let's face it no one will ever remember anything other than that moment about my wedding.

[rainbowtreat]

I am kinda in the same boat. I am not sure what to do about my so called freind. Not sure if I should invite her or not or try to make things work so she is still in it.

But by reading your post it sounds like you still want her there. I think by inviting her you would be letting her know that you dont hate her and you would love to have her there but it is now in her court. If your realy scared she may make a scene then maybe you ight want to rethink it. You could always ask some oen to make sure that if she starts up that they make her leave. I know I may not have helped alot. Maybe I am not the right person to try to help you on this one. Seeing I am dealign with kind of the same thing. I havent even given this one much thought. Thanks Lacey ya got me thinking now. Jeesh now what do I do :p . Just kidding. Hope you find the answer your looking for. Good luck.

[WebLady]

... Should I just invite her and hope for the best? Or, do I just let sleeping dogs like. My biggest fear is her getting smashed and then doing or saying something really out of line at my wedding ...

Well at first I was gonna say be the 'bigger' person and invite her ... but if you are worried she might make a scene then don't. Besides, with her attitude she might even see the invite as asking for a gift and make things worse ... you know how those 'crazy makers' can be sometimes.

I can't tell you what to do here but with what you have said here and previously, if it were me, I wouldn't bother.

What does Sean think?

[LaceyinPgh]

What does Sean think?
Sean never could really stand her. He tolerated her because she was my friend. He has been on cloud 9 for weeks now that she isn't in the picture. I know, that is so awful but she drove him nuts too.

[WebLady]

Sean never could really stand her. He tolerated her because she was my friend. He has been on cloud 9 for weeks now that she isn't in the picture. I know, that is so awful but she drove him nuts too.
Well, you gotta do what is best for you and your family

[WhiskeyGirl]

I don't know what you should do Lacey!! but if I were in your position I might just give her a call and talk to her about your concerns! Tell her you still want her to be in your life but you are not sure if it is the right thing to invite her to the wedding. Be gentle and relay your fears, maybe she will tell you in no uncertain terms that she will NOT be on her best behavior or maybe she will tell you how sorry she is and how much she wants to share your special day.

[CarlosHoney]

Honestly, here's what I would do.

I would send the invitation.. Seat her at a table pretty far away from the BP.. And have a few of the BP in the know and keeping an eye out. Let the bartender know to keep an eye on her too, so that she won't get so intoxicated.. And if she starts getting out of line, have her removed. Immidiatley.

But, you are the one in these undesirable shoes. Good luck, and hugs!

[brewsells]

I agree with Carrie. I would invite her, but keep watch. You don't want her ruining things for you.

[CindySue]

Which would you regret more? Not inviting her period? Or inviting her and her making a scene?

[Kacie_bride]

I would suggest to go ahead and invite her. For the sake of friendship, hopefully things will mend. From reading her e-mails I'm not so sure she will even come. However, I agree with Carrie. If she does come, have someone watch over her.

[sarahomalley]

I went through the same situation. I had been friends with this girl for a long time. When I got engaged, she was the first person I asked to be in my wedding. Things cahnged, however, a few months later. We stopped talking, she accused me of saying bad things about her new boyfriend. I decided I didn't need high school drama and I replaced her. We've started hanging out here and there and I decided to invite her despite everything. I was the bigger person. And I know that out of respect, and whatever friendship we have left, she would never do anything to sabatoge my day. All in all, you have to make the decision and I don't know that this helped. But good luck to you!

[usahgrad]

Yikes! I don't know what I would do in this situation...just to be incredibly helpful!

I like Carrie's idea, although you don't need the extra stress the day of. Cindy's question was very pertinent...good luck!