Alcoholic Mother

[NorCalSarah]

I am somewhat shy, meaning I dont really have any girlfriends who I would enjoy the wedding planning process with. I have tried wedding shopping and venue scouting with my mom. But because she drinks so much, she is gets sidetracked and want to run errands and do other things, instead of what I have planned. Every time I get her out to do this, she gets drunk and wants to walk around the mall, which doesnt help with wedding stuff! I end up shopping anyways and its getting expensive with these shopping trips that are not fruitful wedding wise.

I am thinking of hiring a wedding planner to be my "best friend" is putting my little wedding together. (plus it would be worth the cost, because doing it with my mom is geting pricey)

Is it wrong to approach the wedding planner as friend for hire? Or along with the wedding planning, is that what they do?

I really want a beautiful wedding, but have no one, other than really busy fiance to help me. And I dont want him to help pick out my wedding dress anyways.

What should I do?

[Jenn060306]

I think if you need someone to help you get your wedding planning done then go for it.
But in my opinion you should try to deal with the issue of your mom drinking to much. I know it would be difficult thing to talk to her about it. But try to approach it that you are concerned for her health and well being. And also explain that its difficult for you to plan the wedding with her not always being sobber. If she knows how her drinking is affecting you she might try to control it better or get herself some help.
Good Luck! Let us know what you end up doing!

[AngelinLove]

I believe that you should do whatever you feel will make the process easier...and although I don't have a wedding planner...I know through experience that there are many of them out there that look at their brides as friends throughout the process. Also, although I do believe that your mother's drinking problem is an issue...I don't think that now is the time to deal with it. More than likely it is a problem that has taken years to become that kind of an issue...and hence it will take a great deal to get her to admit it is a problem and accept help, and change...which is not really your burden to carry...and you have your own life to worry about. I would hire a planner if you have no one else that you can turn to...and if you want to approach your mother's drinking issue...I would do it...but not in an attempt to get or keep her involved in your wedding.

[WebLady]

If you need help with the wedding stuff then by all means hire a planner, that is what they do ;) But, I wouldn't look at it like a friend thing look at it as hiring someone to help put your your dream day together. A good planner will have a great personality and be friendly and know how to get the job done, but being a friend shouldn't be how you look at it when you hire someone IMO at least.

As for your mom, I agree with the others in that this is something you might need to deal with. I wouldn't have alcohol at the wedding if I were you either.

:goodluck: with everything and welcome to the board :D

[Kacie_bride]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. How much time to have until your wedding? I think you really should look into hiring a wedding planner. She or he will help you out a lot. Also you can turn to us and we can help. The women on here have lots of great ideas and advice. Welcome.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I agree with the other ladies, a wedding planner may help! However I do NOT agree with Angelinlove! I think this is something you SHOULD address with your mother! I have lost two uncles to alcoholism (and I am on my way to losing a third!!!!!) and it is a tough thing to deal with! However, it WILL NOT go away if you ignore it! If you love your mother, I think you SHOULD talk to her, not only for her health but for yours as well!! How hard will it be to lose your mother? Anything can happen when it comes to alcoholism and the best plan is to attack it head on! Call your local AADAC (alcohol and drug abuse society) and find out what they suggest you can and should do!! (or ask your family doctor! They can assisst in this situation as well!!!) This is the first step to helping her get better!! Take care and best wishes!!

[countrygirl]

Hey Sarah, sorry to hear that you are going thru that. It isn't much fun, is it?

If you feel it would be worth the cost to you, then go for it babe!! It's good to have someone who can help you. And don't forget that we are all here for you too babe!!

I would def tall to your mom, it's a hard thing, but she needs to know from your heart that you are directly effected by it.

Good luck, and keep in touch w the ladies on here. They are a great support network!!

[Kacie_bride]

Hey Sarah, sorry to hear that you are going thru that. It isn't much fun, is it?

If you feel it would be worth the cost to you, then go for it babe!! It's good to have someone who can help you. And don't forget that we are all here for you too babe!!

I would def tall to your mom, it's a hard thing, but she needs to know from your heart that you are directly effected by it.

Good luck, and keep in touch w the ladies on here. They are a great support network!!

I know I'm getting off subject, but I was just looking at your ticker and I can't believe November is that soon!

[countrygirl]

I KNOW!!! It sounds so far off, but it isn't and it's driving me batty!!

[MOB Karen]

I am somewhat shy, meaning I dont really have any girlfriends who I would enjoy the wedding planning process with. I have tried wedding shopping and venue scouting with my mom. But because she drinks so much, she is gets sidetracked and want to run errands and do other things, instead of what I have planned. Every time I get her out to do this, she gets drunk and wants to walk around the mall, which doesnt help with wedding stuff! I end up shopping anyways and its getting expensive with these shopping trips that are not fruitful wedding wise.

I am thinking of hiring a wedding planner to be my "best friend" is putting my little wedding together. (plus it would be worth the cost, because doing it with my mom is geting pricey)

Is it wrong to approach the wedding planner as friend for hire? Or along with the wedding planning, is that what they do?

I really want a beautiful wedding, but have no one, other than really busy fiance to help me. And I dont want him to help pick out my wedding dress anyways.

What should I do?

I don't know what's wrong with these Mothers who don't realize how precious their daughter's lives are. I just want to shake them and say, "Wake up, your daughter needs you!"

Sarah, I feel so bad that you don't have anyone to help you with your wedding planning. I know everyone here at Onewed would be happy to help you if you need them. These ladies have excellent advice and have helped my daughter and I a lot. Please let us try to help you. God bless you, Sarah, and good luck!!