FMIL Vent

[f77g4]

Ok so I just have to vent a bit about my FMIL.

FH & I are getting married in our hometown & we live an hour away. Both of our parents are there as well as family, etc. plus it's way cheaper then where we live.

So since my folks don't have any church affiliations any more, I decided that we would get married in FH's church that he grew up in and by his minister. So we had booked our reception place, photographer, DJ, etc and I'm like Matt you need to call your minister and book the church and her and he was like ok...eventually he passed this onto his mother.....

Anyways a week or so went by and we never heard from his mother so I got impatient, found the minister's email address online and emailed her & booked her. She had heard from FH's mom! Man was I glad that I got impatient and decided to handle it myself.

Then FMIL showed up at our house unannounced on Saturday and asked us if we had picked a wedding date yet!?!?! We had told her like a month ago! So FH was like yeah and Ash called the minister too and she's like oh ok as if it didn't phase her that she was suppose to do that! GRR....

So then I was telling her about the DD that we were having and why we got one,etc and really what a good deal it was and she's like so $150 pays for the all the food and drinks?!? Like OMG!!! Anyways just needed to vent a little.

[Brian's Bride]

So then I was telling her about the DD that we were having and why we got one,etc and really what a good deal it was and she's like so $150 pays for the all the food and drinks?!? Like OMG!!! Anyways just needed to vent a little.

What's a DD?

[f77g4]

We've gotten a designated driver (DD) for the night for us and our guests.

[10Nov2008]

Ok...not to sound totally insensitive, but has your FH's mother had a recent physical that included a check of her mental capacities?

It sounds like she is REALLY out of touch with reality. My FMIL is totally outta touch and I would LOVE for her to be checked out completely by a doctor but she absolutely refuses.

Is she usually this way? Does she have something else going on that is taking her mind off of the wedding plans?

[f77g4]

No not that me or FH is aware of....He just says she getting older and I'm not use to that as his parents are like 10 years older then mine but I personally think that she just doesn't listen to me....she's always kind of been hard to carry a conversation with because I always feel like she's never listening. Every time she sees my mom she always asks her the same questions - not like the typical hi how are ya's but about my mom's health - like I don't know how many times in the last year she has been surprised to hear that my mom has to walk with a leg brace now (due to an injury at work 1.5 years ago) - it always like are you back to work yet (and she has been since Christmas, etc). She's always been stubborn about going to doctors although I really think she needs a complete physical done but that is not my place to say and FH although concerned doesnt really say anything because he thinks its just old age - she's like 58!.

Anyways I know it may have been insensitive of me to vent if there is some sort of underlying medical condition,however, it is a little frustrating.

[10Nov2008]

...she's always kind of been hard to carry a conversation with because I always feel like she's never listening. Every time she sees my mom she always asks her the same questions ... I don't know how many times in the last year she has been surprised to hear that my mom has to walk with a leg brace now (due to an injury at work 1.5 years ago) - it always like are you back to work yet (and she has been since Christmas, etc).
Anyways I know it may have been insensitive of me to vent if there is some sort of underlying medical condition,however, it is a little frustrating.

It IS very frustrating!!!:bbeek: My parents are about his parents' age but mine are of sound mind and body. My FMIL is 79 and a real handful. I really think it sounds like there is something medically wrong...a handful of things come to mind, not the least of which is hearing loss. I'm not a doctor though. You might want to sit down with FH (after you get married??) and talk to him about all the "symptoms" she has and see if he agrees with you. The two of you together could talk to her then and see if she'll go in for a physical. If she really believes she's healthy, there's no reason for her not to go. If there IS something wrong, it's better to catch it early and start treating it. It might improve her quality of life...AND relationships with her daughter-in-law...YOU!!!

At any rate...hang in there. You're PERFECTLY normal to be frustrated. :)

[f77g4]

Thanks for the advice and support....I mentioned this to a few co-workers of mine as well and they remembered all the problems I've mentioned in the past with them (FH hasn't always had the best relationship with them as he is your typical middle child, they always fought on his b-day, etc) and one of them suggested that she may be doing this on purpose to sabotage our big day since they don't like to see him happy....so here's hoping it's not that although I don't wish bad health on her either just I would be very heartbroken if this was intentional. I am hoping that FH can convince her to go to a doctor soon - the wedding is still a year away....anyways thanks again for the support.