My Turn!!!!!!

[CindySue]

Ive tried to keep these frustrations to myself, but Im to the point that Im about to http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_204v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm414CPUS)!!!
Brian has been stressing about......well EVERYTHING. Hes been trying to get rent houses ready and has been a total pain in the a$$ about it. I try to help and it seems NOTHING I do is right. But the work Ive done saved him about 2 weeks (if hed been doing it himself.) Well both of his houses are rented. One guy is renting the house "as is" and we dont even have to do anything to it other than move some stuff out.
Is he calm now? NO!!!! Now hes bitching about what all HE has to do to get OUR house ready for MY wedding. Well excuse the :censored: out of me! Prehaps he forgot that I DID NOT WANT A :censored: WEDDING!!!! HE wanted me to do this and thats the ONLY reason why I did. Im sorry I ACTUALLY have to "plan" something and cant just twitch my nose and it magically happen. I really wished I could.
Im sorry that I dont have anyone here helping me, and that Im having to handle all of this by myself. I dont like that anymore than he does. And Im even sorrier that it stresses me out. But am I "allowed" to get frustrated? Nope. I can NOT get angry, or depressed, or stressed. I have to smile pretty and be there to pet him when he decides to ***** about his day at work. Im sorry he has to work soooooo **** hard. But I told him I am not his scapegoat, and he will NOT take his frustrations out on me.
I work just as much as he does and have the kids to tend to. There are times that he just acts like my world is supposed to revolve totally around him. It never has, so I dont know why he thinks it should now!
Sorry. I just agree with Lacey. Its just nice to B*TCH without being interrupted. He knows Im upset and I explained a little of why to him at lunch. THEN he wants to say "Baby why didnt you say something. I didnt know." :chair: Ive been TRYING to talk to him!!!!! He said wed talk about it this evening. He pick me up a bottle of wine and he would listen to what I had to say. (Of course, I told him I was this close to calling off the wedding if all he was gonna do was B*tch! Shouldnt have done that but at least it got his attention!)
All day I have been on the verge of crying. I feel totally worthless and I am very depressed. I felt a little better reading about Laceys problems. (Sorry Lacey, not meaning that ugly, I just no longer felt like I was alone!) Hopefully, we can sit down tonight and he will understand that Ive been going through some stuff too.





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[LaceyinPgh]

Well at least I know that I am not alone. But this is a pretty :censored: club to have to be a member of. (Don't get me wrong there are worse ones to be a member of!) I know how you feel about having no one to help you. People don't think that it is that stressful. Maybe 25-30 years ago it wasn't that stressful. I know my mom planned her wedding mostly by herself. But she also had unlimited free time to do it in. I have a house and job to tend to. You have that plus kids running around. I also know what you mean about slapping on a happy face. I am so God **** sick of being Bubbles the Clown I could just hurl. Of course if I :censored: about something than I am in the wrong. I asked Sean to come and hlep me for 10 minutes to get the margins for the programs set last night and I would have had an easier time walking in and asking if I could have his spare kidney. When I pointed that out I got yapped at because he had a stressful day at work. I understand that. And the stress he is getting at work right now is effecting both of us majorly. But I am not allowed to be bothered by it. I am just supposed to smile and say, "It's ok, I will figure this out for YOUR wedding all by myself. Let me just get out that magic wand and tink it. That will make all the world's problem's better. Hell while I'm at it I'll just tackle AIDS and world poverty too. I've been meaning to get to those for awhile." I'm so sick of doing EVERYTHING, getting appreciated for NOTHING, and to top it off getting :censored: at for ANYTHING that is out of my control.

Sorry to hijack Cindy. But I totally know how you feel. I know exactly what you are doing. And, should you take a high power rifle to the top of a clock tower anytime soon, I will testify for you in court!

[CindySue]

OH.....Lacey, youre the greatest!
And I may be blowing things completely out of proportion (wouldnt be the 1st time :bbredface: ) but I feel like out of 100 things, I do 99 of them right, but theres this big :censored: neon sign pointed at the one thing I didnt do right or forgot to do or just hadnt gotten around to.
Brian got mad at me this morning becuase I made a deal with my daughter about doing chores. (for some reason kids have rebelled and have refused to do chores and I get griped at if I attempted to do the chores for them.) Anyway, Emily apologized and said that she didnt feel it was fair for her to have to do hers when the boys werent. She said it didnt get noticed anyway (Understand where shes coming from there) Well I talked to her about the fact even if they dont do theirs, she wont get in trouble if she does hers. She doing hers, (and shes not getting her allowance this week because she didnt do them ALL week) BUT I came home yesterday and she had done THE BOYS chores too. Ok....that deserves a reward. Brian didnt know the terms of our deal and now that he does, he agrees. He didnt know Em had done everybodys chores. Its just BS like that.....he jumped to a conclusion on what he thought me and her were talking about instead of waiting for an explaination. We got into an arguement over that. He apologized at lunch but asked why didnt I explain it more. Ummmmmm....Hello? Its kinda hard to explain anything when someone wont shut up and let you speak! I told him its been like that for a week. He wont quit b*thcing long enough to listen to anything I have to say. When he does, I no longer feel like talking. Thats why he said we would talk tonight!

[LaceyinPgh]

Men don't notice little things and they don't feel the need to stop and fully investigate things or to bother to ask about them before just charging into the situation head first. I don't understand that. I just think there are a lot of undiagnosed cases of male PMS out there. Quite frankly if Sean's attitude doesn't somewhat improve soon I am going to start dissolving Midol in his coffee.

[CindySue]

I just think there are a lot of undiagnosed cases of male PMS out there.
I totally agree!
Quite frankly if Sean's attitude doesn't somewhat improve soon I am going to start dissolving Midol in his coffee.
What an awsome idea......think they would notice? Maybe I could start slipping Brian some St. Johns Wort in with his other vitamins.

[CarlosHoney]

Yes. I'm in the same boat.

We agreed on Sunday night that we would go look at bakeries on Monday. Or, at least, I thought we did. After we ate lunch, he started driving home. I asked him where we were going, and when he said that we were going home, I gave him the "What in the HECK do you think you're doing?!" look.

"Oh, I thought we could go in a little while.. It's too hot, the baby will be hot... ETC."

I knew what he was doing. He was trying to worm his way out of it. He wanted to go home and play video games and relax, he didn't want to do ONE SINGLE THING for the wedding. Mind you, the wedding is 2 months away and he hasn't gotten his shoes, tie, suit, attendant gifts... NOTHING. I don't even think he's talked to his attendants on what they need to wear. Seriously.

He has spent a ton on this Ceremony on Easter. It's his church, and he's sponsoring a service for our family.. And he's spent all this time and money (right now he's chopping wood for it) focused on it.. And when I told him that I was going to sell the bassinet that Elias doesn't sleep in and pay for some of the cake, he said that we needed that extra money, and that he didn't think we should use it for the cake. UM, HELLO?! The wedding is in TWO MONTHS! We need to pay for these things NOW so that it doesn't hit us all at once in a month and a half.

By the way, we ended up paying $150 more for the cake than we were going to pay at the other bakery. Why? "They're more experienced, and blah blah blah." Honestly, I feel like he didn't want to drive to any more bakeries. Oh, and it's my Dad's money, so why not?

My dad isn't rich by any strech of the immagination. He's being very generous by paying for most of this wedding.. But we don't need to add more cost where there is no need. I'm cutting corners left and right, and you know what? He wants to ADD to it with this cake. Fine. We got the cake. But there are things that we could have spent on instead.

And the cherry on top of this stressed out sundae is that I have been asking him for MONTHS about the music. He has close to 1000 CD's. The boy has a collection, let me tell you. Has he written any down? Has he brought up any ideas? NO. Of course not. Ugh. Sigh.

I'm getting to the point where I just want to call it off, spend the remaining $2000 on going on vacation with Elias and leaving Carlo here to deal with the mess. I know that I'm not going to. But I just feel so tired. Tired of being the only one who gives a :censored: about anything.

It's sick to me that my Dad cares more, talks about it more, and has given me more input than the man who I'm marrying. I told Carlo that he has until April 30th to get his stuff done. I gave him a list. And if he doesn't do it all? I'm going to pick it all for him. And if he doesn't like what I pick? Tough :censored:

I think it all started last night.. Carlo blamed this huge leak in the bathroom on me.. And when Elias threw up all over the bed, he didn't lift a finger. He was more concerned than water on the floor than he was about his son. I'm tired of that... And I don't like it.

So, yeah, I'm past the Midol and St. John's Wort stage. Where's some Valuim that I can slip into his orange juice?

[CindySue]

I'm getting to the point where I just want to call it off, spend the remaining $2000 on going on vacation with Elias and leaving Carlo here to deal with the mess. I know that I'm not going to. But I just feel so tired. Tired of being the only one who gives a :censored: about anything.
Man.......I think we twins!!!!! Were we separated at birth?

It's sick to me that my Dad cares more, talks about it more, and has given me more input than the man who I'm marrying. I told Carlo that he has until April 30th to get his stuff done. I gave him a list. And if he doesn't do it all? I'm going to pick it all for him. And if he doesn't like what I pick? Tough :censored:
I asked Brian once "If I ask your opinion on something and you dont give me one, and I go ahead and decide myself and you dont like what I decided, you cant b*tch, right?" He had to admit that he couldnt.

I think it all started last night.. Carlo blamed this huge leak in the bathroom on me.. And when Elias threw up all over the bed, he didn't lift a finger. He was more concerned than water on the floor than he was about his son. I'm tired of that... And I don't like it.
Yeah....Brians priorities are kinda screwed up too. It seems that since his daughter decided she wasnt coming then he just doesnt give a **** about OUR wedding.

So, yeah, I'm past the Midol and St. John's Wort stage. Where's some Valuim that I can slip into his orange juice?
ummmmmm......thats not a bad idea either! Wished I had some Valium, but I might end up taking it instead of slipping it to Brian! And I dont even take pills!!

[CarlosHoney]

Yeah, I think we all can agree that we're going through wedding meltdown. Yep. That's what it is..

They call us Bridezillas, but they don't know why we turn into monsters. They have no idea.

[CindySue]

Yeah, I think we all can agree that we're going through wedding meltdown. Yep. That's what it is..

[/URL] They call us Bridezillas, but they don't know why we turn into monsters. They have no idea.
Yeah.....Im definitely having a wedding meltdown. I talked to Brian last night about EVERYTHING.
I told him that I did not like having the wedding thrown in my face. He wanted me to plan it but b*tches constantly about it. He told me he didnt remember it being this stressful when he went through it before. (before anyone says anything - we talk alot about our pasts and it doesnt bother us) I asked him how much help did she have with the planning......He understood THEN the difference. I very seldom even talk about the wedding at home. I asked why he made it sound like I never shut up about it. He said we just have sooooo much stuff going on right now. I asked him if he wanted to postpone it until we got some of this other stuff out of the way. He said no - that he wanted to marry me on May 13th. I reminded him that was just over a month away (BTW - This was him ------>[URL="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm414CPUS"]http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_7.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm414CPUS)) and we couldnt very well wait up until that day and HOPE that everything works out. He said he guesses I have a point. He also admitted that he felt bad because of the stuff that kept coming up with his rent houses that kept him from doing the stuff needing to be done around our house. I told him I understood and hadnt b*tched about it. He said he knew I hadnt but he was staying on guard waiting on it. He actually listened to what I had to say, although I did have to tell him to hush several times and let me finish. We have decided to set aside time to b*tch to (not at) each other. I get so much time to gripe while he listens and then its his turn while I listen. Taking turns sounds like it might actually work for us. I will let yall know! Weve also realized that we need to start spending more time doing our own thing. We are starting to lose touch with who WE are.







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[tha_mrs]

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_11_2.gifCount to ten and then let out the loudest scream you can.Really belt it out! I mean tears and all.Then you will feel better.





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[Jenn060306]

It took me a major melt down to get Mark to realize how stressed i was about the whole wedding and that i needed more help from him. I was crying so hard i couldn't catch my breath. I think it scared him alot. He promised to help out more. Which he has done.

I wish i could understand why it takes :censored: hitting the fan for guys to realize that they need to help out and be more available for us. Why can't they take off the blinders and see us struggleing and help out before everything hits the fan.

[CarlosHoney]

Why? Because they are blind and it takes tears to wash the sand out of their eyes.