LaceyinPgh
04-06-2006, 09:25 AM
I am so done right now with life in general. I can't remember a time in my life where I have hated the fact that I have to get out of bed and deal with the world more than these last couple of weeks. I am so sick of no one listening to me, no one helping me, and no one understanding that I am allowed to be pissed of/upset/sad/happy/tired/ect. too.
There is something major going down where Sean works that could turn out to be really bad. But, Sean is the only one allowed to be upset about it. It is my life and my future too, but only he is allowed to be stressed and upset about it. If I get upset about it than I am making it worse for him. But mind you, I am not allowed to talk about it with ANYONE. He however can talk about it with his partners. Of course when I talk about it with him, he wants to be left alone or why don't I understand that he doesn't know yet? Well excuse me for ****ing caring or being worried about things! Oh, and he is tired. So I can't do anything because he is tired. He worked today and he is tired. Well I worked today too and I am tired but life goes the on. I understand that he is stressed but how about a little acknowledgement that I am too.
No one listens to me about this wedding; but, if I don't listen to them I get the guilt trip from hell. Of course, no one but Sean and I are paying for anything. Yet, I am supposed to care that my mother is upset that I won't rent a horse and carraige to get our pictures taken next too? Or, she is upset that I am not excited about her shoes and purse. She will flat out tell you that she HATES my shoes but Iam supposed to care taht she bought hers and make a deal like the Second Coming out of that? What the ****! She complains to me 24/7 about being broke but she can think up some **** ridiculous ways to spend my money.
My mother in law is going psycho. For someone as concerned as she is about etiquette and socail apperances she needs some manners. She wanted a guest list for the rehersal dinner, so I sent her the names and contact info for all of our bridal party memebers. Well then she was upset that we weren't including the out of town guests. Guess what, that would be 80 additional people. Look at this equation 80 out of town guests+32 bridal party members and their spouses= 112 people at the rehersal dinner. I might as well save myself about $25,000 and just get married at the rehersal. Hell, I would get an extra day on the honeymoon out of that plan! Her response, "well we don't have to invite all of them just he ones we want there." Ummm.....NO! You invite one of the 80 and I will make **** sure all 80 of the 80 find out about it. This isn't high school and that stuff in real life isn't acceptable. So, I asked Sean to call and talk to her about it. Neither of us want anyone outside out bridal party there. Well, I get yelled at for this because he is busy and has a lot on his mind. Whoopy ****in' do! She is his mother, I handle mine and unless he wants his to get the same treatment he better make that **** call. Oh, and while typing this he called again. So we fought over it again. I told him to do whatever the **** he wanted. I was tired of dealing with it.
I planned my own shower because no one else was willing to do it. I ended up paying for a lot of it too. I can't wait for my mother and bridesmiads to get the glory on that day about all of "their" hard work. I don't even want to ***** about this anymore because I am so **** sick of it.
Oh, and by the way, it's my birthday. Frankly, it was Ruffles's birthday 2 days ago and everyone made a bigger deal than they have about mine. My dad called me at 6 this morning to tell me happy birthday, which I apprecaite. Then he finds out that I took a personal day from work and i get bitched at for it because I am lazy like my mother. Sean was supposed to take me to lunch and then we were going to the bank to change around a few things. But when I asked him about it, he had no clue what I was talking about this morning. Then I reexpalined it to him. Well he didn't sleep well and is stressed out (If I hear him say that one more time this week I swear I'll kill him!) but if I want to then he guesses he can take me. Wow, don't do me any God **** favors. Then I get yelled at for making him feel guilty when I said to never mind I didn't want to go.
So it is my birthday. I should have gotten up and went to work where I would have had a sembelence of peace until about 3 when I got hom. But no I stay at home to enjoy my day and this is the **** that I get for it. I am so sick of everyone right now.
There is something major going down where Sean works that could turn out to be really bad. But, Sean is the only one allowed to be upset about it. It is my life and my future too, but only he is allowed to be stressed and upset about it. If I get upset about it than I am making it worse for him. But mind you, I am not allowed to talk about it with ANYONE. He however can talk about it with his partners. Of course when I talk about it with him, he wants to be left alone or why don't I understand that he doesn't know yet? Well excuse me for ****ing caring or being worried about things! Oh, and he is tired. So I can't do anything because he is tired. He worked today and he is tired. Well I worked today too and I am tired but life goes the on. I understand that he is stressed but how about a little acknowledgement that I am too.
No one listens to me about this wedding; but, if I don't listen to them I get the guilt trip from hell. Of course, no one but Sean and I are paying for anything. Yet, I am supposed to care that my mother is upset that I won't rent a horse and carraige to get our pictures taken next too? Or, she is upset that I am not excited about her shoes and purse. She will flat out tell you that she HATES my shoes but Iam supposed to care taht she bought hers and make a deal like the Second Coming out of that? What the ****! She complains to me 24/7 about being broke but she can think up some **** ridiculous ways to spend my money.
My mother in law is going psycho. For someone as concerned as she is about etiquette and socail apperances she needs some manners. She wanted a guest list for the rehersal dinner, so I sent her the names and contact info for all of our bridal party memebers. Well then she was upset that we weren't including the out of town guests. Guess what, that would be 80 additional people. Look at this equation 80 out of town guests+32 bridal party members and their spouses= 112 people at the rehersal dinner. I might as well save myself about $25,000 and just get married at the rehersal. Hell, I would get an extra day on the honeymoon out of that plan! Her response, "well we don't have to invite all of them just he ones we want there." Ummm.....NO! You invite one of the 80 and I will make **** sure all 80 of the 80 find out about it. This isn't high school and that stuff in real life isn't acceptable. So, I asked Sean to call and talk to her about it. Neither of us want anyone outside out bridal party there. Well, I get yelled at for this because he is busy and has a lot on his mind. Whoopy ****in' do! She is his mother, I handle mine and unless he wants his to get the same treatment he better make that **** call. Oh, and while typing this he called again. So we fought over it again. I told him to do whatever the **** he wanted. I was tired of dealing with it.
I planned my own shower because no one else was willing to do it. I ended up paying for a lot of it too. I can't wait for my mother and bridesmiads to get the glory on that day about all of "their" hard work. I don't even want to ***** about this anymore because I am so **** sick of it.
Oh, and by the way, it's my birthday. Frankly, it was Ruffles's birthday 2 days ago and everyone made a bigger deal than they have about mine. My dad called me at 6 this morning to tell me happy birthday, which I apprecaite. Then he finds out that I took a personal day from work and i get bitched at for it because I am lazy like my mother. Sean was supposed to take me to lunch and then we were going to the bank to change around a few things. But when I asked him about it, he had no clue what I was talking about this morning. Then I reexpalined it to him. Well he didn't sleep well and is stressed out (If I hear him say that one more time this week I swear I'll kill him!) but if I want to then he guesses he can take me. Wow, don't do me any God **** favors. Then I get yelled at for making him feel guilty when I said to never mind I didn't want to go.
So it is my birthday. I should have gotten up and went to work where I would have had a sembelence of peace until about 3 when I got hom. But no I stay at home to enjoy my day and this is the **** that I get for it. I am so sick of everyone right now.