Anne & Brian - Aug 1 2009 [Archive] - OneWed's Wedding Chat

acidcookie

07-18-2008, 11:25 AM

So I need a mental break from researching situated cognition, situated action, and the theory of affordances ... and I told Neko last night that I'd start a journal. Well, here it is! So let's get my first "entry" started with some stuff about each of us (because I don't think I ever formally introduced myself here) and how we met. Watch out, it's really long, but I love the story of how we met!!

Who is Anne?
I'm 26 and currently a Ph.D. student in Mass Communications in the area of Media Effects. Basically I study the social/psychological effects of using today's media. For me, specifically, this is means interactive social media and communication. How does this change how we interact, communicate, affect our lifestyles, habits, and how does it change our understanding of value, standards, and culture. Ok, anyway...so I'm about to start my 3rd year in this program and hope to graduate in spring/summer 2010.

I got my B.A. in Psychology in Oregon. I grew up in Oregon, but originally moved to the U.S. from Germany with my mom when I was 6. Most of my family (sister, brother, dad, grandma, etc.) still lives in Germany.

What do I do outside of school? I play the violin in the local symphony, I do Photography (http://www.flickr.com/photos/acidcookie), I run (sometimes races), yoga & pilates, some graphic/web design, and I love to make my own stuff (clothes, costumes, jewelry...). I often joke that with all my hobbies I only have time for a part-time job!

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/105/297723174_e2326fc89a_m.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/acidcookie/297723174/)

Who is Brian?
Brian is 32, also a Ph.D. student here, in Bioinformatics. Basically it's the field of applying computer technology to biology and genetics. Yeah, he's smart. He also owns his own graphic design company on the side where he consults with mainly one record label right now to design all their artists' websites. He also does the media for our symphony, among other projects.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/76/185577931_be4d3faa5b_m.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/acidcookie/185577931/)

How did we meet? It's a good story!
So it was early summer 2005 and I was getting ready to move across the country for grad school in a state I had never even visited. At the time I was still on myspace so I searched for 20-30 year olds in this area to try to make some connections. Mind you, I had a boyfriend at the time. Nothing serious, and nothing that was going very well, but still...

So I clicked on various profiles and sent messages. And one of the photos I noticed was of a cute dark-haired boy with geeky glasses. I sent him a message too. Turns out he was dating someone too, a clinical psych student. That was that then, both of just sending a few friendly messages.

Months go by and I get a message from this cute boy. He says "when you get into town, do you want to grab a drink?" Oh? Apparently he has ditched the girlfriend. Interestingly I had also left behind my boyfriend by that time.

We start chatting on AIM, then we start texting, then we start talking on the phone. A few days before I move I explain to him how I'm getting there. Well it's ridiculously expensive to fly into this small town and I save about $300 flying into NYC and taking a bus the rest of the way. Of course when he hears the details he thinks I'm crazy. "So...you're flying overnight to New York City, where you've never been, you'll arrive at 5am, then with all your belongings (I had 3 suitcases of stuff with me, the rest was Fedexed to my new home), by yourself, at the crack of dawn, you're going to find the subway, then take the subway to another subway to get to the Greyhound and wait 5 hours for the bus to take you on a 7 hour trip with a layover to PA and then find your way to your house you've never been to?" YUP! That was my plan. What can I say, I'm kinda crazy and a little too fearless.

That wouldn't do, he said. He was gonna pick me up. He was gonna make the drive to NJ the night before, get up at 4am and meet me at JFK. And that's just what he did. All night I didn't sleep on the plane I was so excited and once I arrived I sure felt gross. Sleepless, showerless, and have you ever felt the early August morning humidity of NYC? GROSS. When I got off the plane and grabbed my luggage, there he was, meeting him for the first time at 5am in the baggage claim, haha. And then we proceeded to spend the whole day together in NYC and finally, he drove me home to the town we both lived in now.

The Pearl Diner, where we had our first "date" in NYC at about 7am:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/59/156648361_220869fa95_m.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/acidcookie/156648361/)

I have a picture of us that morning but I guess not on Flickr! Will add when I get home.
Sorry that was so long! What can I say, I love our "how we met" story :soppy:

PGDesigns

07-18-2008, 11:49 AM

Aww! GREAT story!

Danielle9608

07-18-2008, 11:51 AM

LOL Wow you are much braver then I am. I hate going someplace I have never been :bbeek:

acidcookie

07-18-2008, 11:56 AM

Ack, I just missed the "edit" time window! I was gonna cut out all the paragraphs about us to shorten it and just leave the "how we met" story. Oh well. Y'all can skip it ;)

acidcookie

07-18-2008, 02:12 PM

Ok, I need another mental break (working in the library all day) so I will soldier on and tell you about the engagement! Also a long but good story, if not a little over the top

The Engagement
FH and I went down to Disney World this year for Spring Break. Our spring breaks usually consist of "catching up" on work so we decided we needed a real vacation. We saved up and bought a whole package. We stayed 4 nights in the Caribbean Resort, and spent a day each in the Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios, and Animal Kingdom.

Well he'd been asking me about what kinds of rings I like so I thought something was coming up. ALSO, he got us a table at this super super fancy formal restaurant in the Grand Floridian called Victoria & Albert's. (This place has butler-style service, as in I get my own personal server who goes so far as to get me a new napkin and replace it on my lap as I return from the bathroom. And we get served 5 courses with all the confusing silverware and a matching wine for each meal. We were totally out of place, we hardly knew how to behave! And there was so much wine to get drunk from it was even harder!) But anyway! So with this fancy place booked I thought "Hmmmm, maybe he'll propose." Part of me had a strong feeling, but part of me didn't really suspect a thing. Our reservations there were on Thursday.

So Monday we spent in Hollywood Studios, Tuesday in Epcot, and Wednesday we went to Magic Kingdom. I'm in love with the castle there so I kept trying to drag him to it. But he was like "No, let�s ride this ride! Let�s visit this part! Let's go to Space Mountain!" So I was getting cranky. Then we finally get to Space Mountain to get a fastpass and he sees the time for return and goes "No, I don't want to come back at that time" WHAT! I was like "Are you 5? Are we going on this ride or not?" So we slowly made our way to the castle. We walk through and he asks "Is this the restaurant inside?" I said yeah. He says "Let's see if we can get a table after all." Before the trip he had called and told me they were booked, so we had reservations at a different place, so I was like �I guess��

Well, �miraculously� we were suddenly in line for a table. I was like �What? What about the other place?!� so he said �Ok, I already had dinner planned here, it�s a surprise!�

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3123/2354210775_9327484b3b_m.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/acidcookie/2354210775/)

So if you�ve never eaten at the restaurant in Cinderella�s castle, this is how it goes: You get a �ticket� to go inside. Then a number of people get called inside to meet Cinderella and have their photo taken with her. Then you get �invited� to a table upstairs for dinner. So we've met Cinderella and now we�re having an early dinner, looking out over the park, it�s really neat, and then my dessert comes. Except wait, that�s not dessert�

It�s a glass slipper on a plate of red rose petals with a RING inside the slipper. UM WHAT! I was speechless. Before I knew it there was a photographer, FH was on his knees and the whole restaurant was watching. He felt a bit on the spot and couldn�t come up with much to say at the moment but of course asked the one important question and of course I said yes and the whole restaurant cheered. Then champagne glasses were brought out, we were whisked away for more photos, and then I had a really nice �will you marry me� dessert.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3256/2338166599_68874b5d00_m.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/acidcookie/2338166599/) http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3007/2348207107_483028c853_m.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/acidcookie/2348207107/)

Then to top it all off, the Fairy God Mother does a show and we became part of it. It was all really crazy. Not how I would have ever imagined the proposal.

Ah, and the glass slipper is engraved with our names, the date (March 12, 2008) and he had the proposal engraved in German for me: Willst du mich heiraten?

http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v192/54/83/9354148/n9354148_46693084_3895.jpg
Unfortunately this is a staged shot because the photog's camera messed up most of the real shots :-/

So he caught me off-guard! Here I thought Victoria & Albert�s might be the spot, but then it all happened at the castle after he told me they were booked. And to top it all off with extra cheese, of course, we got to watch fireworks that evening over the castle.

At our fancy dinner the next night we had personalized menus and on the top they had printed �Congratulations Anne & Brian� hehe.

That morning he also booked a special breakfast in "Norway" with the Disney Princesses. Man, he really went all out!

Ninedays9

07-18-2008, 02:59 PM

Awwwww those are very sweet stories (the meeting story and the engagement). I would looove to go to Disney with my fiance, so I find it very cool that you got proposed to there. :)

Nekochanpurr

07-20-2008, 03:33 AM

Aw!! YAY you started a journal!!

RosieAngel

07-20-2008, 03:44 AM

I LOVE your story and am glad you started a journal! I can't wait to read more! :D

NowAShelton

07-20-2008, 05:18 AM

lucky girl. yall got a life like a movie it seems like! i cant wait to hear more!

acidcookie

07-21-2008, 09:44 PM

I joined this board when I was greatly frustrated with all the wedding nonsense. Have to have this, should do this, why aren't you including this? It was just me and my fiance saving all our money and doing all our own planning. My family is not into this wedding busines. And his family hardly seems to care either. It felt lonely and like all the effort wasn't even for us because we weren't enjoying this but everyone we were throwing this whole event for didn't seem to care either.

I came around and have enjoyed coming up with ideas, though I feel like planning is pretty sparse. We took a day or 2 to visit locations, and decided on one. I looked at lots of dresses online and tried on a few, and I bought my dress. The reception and ceremony are in the same location and the food and alcohol will be taken care of there. We got the mayor to pencil us in for the ceremony. His adviser (a semi-pro photographer) offered to do our photos. FH is talking to local musicians he knows. I'm not getting a wedding band and FH has kept himself busy looking for his.

So what am I supposed to be doing now? The wedding is a year away. There's no rush for decorations, figuring out my hair, or any of those details. I guess we'll just focus on continuing to save money. Suggestions on things I should get a head start on?

Danielle9608

07-22-2008, 07:57 AM

acidcookie

07-22-2008, 11:01 AM

I would pick the most important thing to you and start on that. Mine was my invitations. I know that may sound silly - that being important to me and all, but I am a graphic designer so I wanted them to be nice - and most importantly done by me :) I hope all the personal details that I have put into the wedding the guests will enjoy and appreciate.

FH is the graphic designer here (has his own business alongside his grad studies), so the invitations are in his hands. Though I could certainly play around with my own Photoshops skills...

I'm trying to think of color schemes and that's about it. I mean, I'm looking at everything about everything to get ideas. I guess it's good brainstorm time.

Also I was looking at local bakeries yesterday (though we hadn't actually planned on using a cake shop) and they want the order 6 months in advance. Earlier than I thought, but still half a year away for us to decide!

I just wanted to get a head start over summer because come the end of August fall semester starts and I will be teaching again and taking a couple classes, plus have to really get ready for comps and proposing my dissertation this school year. But I feel stalled.

acidcookie

07-24-2008, 11:35 AM

Despite my propensity for making "to do" lists and budgeting my spending, we have neither a list nor a set budget for our wedding. We have enough saved already to pretty much cover the expense of our ceremony/reception venue with food and alcohol. And my dress is paid for. So we are just saving all we can and what we spend on depends on how much we have in our funds.

So let's see what we have planned so far:

Date: August 1, 2009. We wanted August 9 because that's the weekend closest to when we met (we met on August 11), but it was already booked, 15 months in advance! But still our wedding anniversary will be very close, and in the same month, as our dating anniversary. Simple.

Location: One of the mountain lodges out here. It's our one area in town for skiing, sledding, snowboarding. The lodge itself is pretty plain, but feels natural and woodsy, plus has lots of windows and an outdoor deck area where we ill probably do the ceremony. Also, we get the whole lodge to ourselves and they are really flexible about dinner options, dinner service, how things are set up, and we do all the decorating. There are even go-karts so if our guests get really bored...

Food: We can give them any recipes we want them to make. I'd like to go all vegetarian. FH even wants some German food in there (my family's all German).

Dress: Maggie Sottero's Temptation in scarlet red. Already in my closet. Will take it in for alterations in spring.

http://www.personal.psu.edu/auo115/scripts/abs34.jpg

Officiant: Our town's mayor! We're already on his calendar.

Bridal party: None! Just the two of us.

Guests: We plan to invite about 100. If we have under 100 guests the lodge can do table service rather than buffet and I like that idea.

Music: Still deciding...

Photography: FH's adviser, who's sort of a semi-professional I guess, offered to do it for us. My dad's also a photographer but I don't want to ask him to lug his equipment on the plane from Germany. Though he might want to do it anyway.

Invitations: Well, I'm leaving these in the hands of FH because he is a graphic designer. I'd like sort of a trifold thing that can be folded and sent as-is with a seal and a stamp (no envelope to throw away). I also don't want to include an RSVP card to send back, but just give our emails and phone numbers to contact us.

Cake: Still deciding. But I'd love to have Schwarzwaldkirschtorte (Black Forest Cake, but with real liquor, the German way). This can even go with our possible theme!!

I really wanted to make the cake myself but have been convinced that's too much stress so close before my own wedding day. So the idea was given to me to do our own little cakes for display, but then buy the big cake for everyone else. It could just come from Wegmans, I don't care.

We've also had some brilliant brainstorming about the theme and I'm SO excited but I'm waiting to hear back from FH about my newest, latest thoughts so no giving it away yet! But it ties in the time of year, our area, our location, my love of magic, the fairytale aspect we talked about doing for the ceremony, AND even my German heritage and all of its tales.

All in all I think we are well on track for still being just over a year away from the wedding still.

And now, for me:
Paid for so far: $824 (dress & venue)
In savings: $4,109

acidcookie

08-01-2008, 12:37 AM

Recently one of my friends whose wedding I was at in November was telling me how she can't even watch her wedding video because it stirs up nothing but stress and anxiety. That's all her wedding planning seemed to be. She's a unique person with strong values and opinions and yet when I arrived at her wedding it was so nondescript, just a pale impression of her and while the wedding was certainly about her it didn't feel like her wedding, just someone's wedding. She was telling me how stressful it gets, as a warning. But I said "We're not letting anything get us that stressed out."

It just seemed so sad to look at your wedding day as an obligation, as a huge task to be completed, and to feel so sick about it. I don't want to looked stressed and anxious at my wedding. I want to look carefree and like the day is mine and for everyone else.

I think all the extra stress is unnecessary. If something makes me pull my hair out, it's over. So far I don't even see what all the madness is about. So we picked out a venue. And I got a dress. Ok, and we called the mayor. Now what? I feel weird that I'm not thinking about more, feeling as though I should be stressed! And that's ridiculous.

We're always told how stressful this is, what an undertaking it is, how much there is to do. Only if you care about pleasing people with all the stuff I just don't care about.

The wedding is ONE DAY, it's ONE party. Honestly. Yeah I'm marrying FH that day, but the party's still just a celebration. It's not the ONLY celebration in my life and it doesn't have to perfect. Get this, the dress I wear doesn't have to be the most perfect dress ever created by human hands. No, it just has to be awesome and look good on me. Finding "the one" stresses us out about making sure we've found the right dress just like it makes us stress about making sure we find the perfect man.

No one will care what shoes I'm wearing, if the color of the centerpieces matches FH's tie or what favors I give out.

What I care about is that we are married at the end of the day (hey, that's not tricky), that I look great (well I've got the dress and shoes), and that everyone has a good meal and a good time. So what's all the fuss? Yeah there'll be pictures, and some cake. But hey, it's cake. If it tastes good and people eat wtf do I care how perfect the frosting is?

Maybe I don't get it because my wedding's a year away, but I won't buy into the stressed-out-bride hype. This wedding is the least stressful part of my day. Getting to look at cakes after long days of meetings, classes, teaching, grading, getting research in under tight deadlines, and preparing presentations for conferences I can't afford? God what a treat! I can't complain about that!

I do believe that my wedding can be planned relatively stress-free. Sure something will get screwed up and I'll have a moment of @%$^#$ but I won't let this consume me. It's just one day.

NowAShelton

08-01-2008, 01:25 AM

you have such a good head on your shoulders! i wish i could have heard some of your wisdom before my wedding. but all in all its a good way of looking at things! i have no doubt(and im sure you dont either) that your wedding will be fun and such a cool environment, enjoyable for everyone! good luck with finding something to do until then! haha. so are you not doing any decorations or centerpieces? your place may include that stuff but if not, that could be something to play with...or church decorations, or flowers if your doing fake..? sorry im sure you've heard these suggestions...heh not a whole lot of help

acidcookie

08-01-2008, 10:55 AM

Thanks for your sweet comments :)

Actually our place comes completely undecorated, just has a natural lodge look, which I love. So we'll have decorations but I just don't know if I want to plan them now just to change my mind after this whole school year goes by. I've already changed my mind a number of times. And if we go with this sort of magical enchanted summer evening forest theme I'll have to think more about how to create that whole feeling in there. Centerpieces? Well, we'll have something, but I don't think I'll be putting together flowers or anything. Also our ceremony and reception are both in the lodge so there's only one place to take care of.

acidcookie

08-02-2008, 03:39 PM

Nothing new going on here, just contemplating wedding ideas, changing my mind many times over, etc.

So in the meantime, I just wanted to post some pics some pics of Brian and me :-P

Playing around with his Macbook camera:

http://photos-g.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v285/163/56/9339806/n9339806_49111758_8512.jpg

At the engagement party our friends threw us:

http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v232/54/83/9354148/n9354148_47576756_5345.jpg

Don't know:

http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v250/207/33/9306189/n9306189_47950953_6607.jpg

At Niagara Falls:

http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v249/54/83/9354148/n9354148_47931083_2954.jpg

acidcookie

08-02-2008, 03:41 PM

Ok, some more fun ones...

Dark & Phoenix and General Zod:

http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v50/54/83/9354148/n9354148_34437216_9927.jpg

Pirates:

http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v46/115/93/9310231/n9310231_33637320_6025.jpg

St. Patty's Day:

http://photos-g.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v66/16/47/9366863/n9366863_37615358_104.jpg

Limo in Vegas:

http://photos-231.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v73/115/93/9310231/n9310231_38124397_7594.jpg

acidcookie

08-02-2008, 03:43 PM

Just one more set!

Hanukkah:

http://photos-g.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v157/54/83/9354148/n9354148_44365782_4264.jpg

In Vegas:

http://photos-231.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v73/115/93/9310231/n9310231_38124380_5125.jpg

Going to the symphony in DC:

http://photos-f.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sctm/v10/54/83/9354148/n9354148_30703181_1262.jpg

acidcookie

08-02-2008, 03:44 PM

Wow, I just realized I wrote in my first entry that I'm 26. I'm 25!! I'll be 26 when the wedding hits.

Ninedays9

08-02-2008, 06:56 PM

Awww, you guys are cute! :)

bichonlvr

08-02-2008, 09:43 PM

Great pics and great story!!!! I can't wait to see more...

acidcookie

08-04-2008, 06:23 AM

I keep changing my mind! I get a brilliant idea for a theme, LOVE it, and then something's missing and I move on. I'm trying to find a way to incorporate my red dress. I had thought of sort of a "summer evening in the enchanted forest" theme (it needs a real name). The wedding's in summer, in a lodge, which is in the woods, we have fireflies here, I love magic, we were going to build this fairytale story about us around it.

But then I think of enchanted forest and I think greens, golds, shimmer, sparkle. Beautiful! But where does my red dress fit? I know it doesn't have to match, but I want it to all go together.

Also, while I love our ideas for the ceremony (on the lodge's deck, weather permitting), I don't think I'd want to decorate the inside of the lodge for the reception in that theme. I was thinking green fabrics, leaves, lights, candles, tulle. Again, it sounds very pretty.

But it's not quite US. We don't see our wedding as beautiful necessarily, but as a fun celebration. We originally talked about games on the tables, an upbeat first dance, and so on. And I want a funky cake. All the things we wanted to do somehow break through the enchanted forest theme. I can just tell it doesn't quite fit.

So I took inspiration from our living room. We have framed 70s records on the wall. A red kit kat clock. A funky multi-colored lamp, multi-colored rug ... retro, funky, colorful! I like the way the living room looks, and more importantly it also really reflects FH (since it's his house and he decorated it!).

So as inspired by the inspiration boards at Style Me Pretty, I made my own inspiration board:

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e368/acidcookie/inspirationboard01.jpg

The lamp in the top left corner is in our living room and what sort of inspired my color thoughts. I know there are so many colors here and I don't even know which to pick, but I guess this is what really attracts my eye.

I just emailed it and my brainstorm to FH.

ETA: I just realized my board has no actual wedding-related photos. Oops, oh well. This is what I got.

acidcookie

08-04-2008, 04:58 PM

Ooh I just found this site (http://www.lunabazaar.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=287) for paper lanterns of all colors. I would LOVE to hang these from the ceiling of the lodge!

The colors I would get:

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e368/acidcookie/mylanterns.jpg

Danielle9608

08-04-2008, 05:56 PM

OO fun I like the colors!

acidcookie

08-04-2008, 06:11 PM

More of what truly inspired me--these are all in our living room:

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e368/acidcookie/inspirationboardHOME.jpg

acidcookie

08-06-2008, 12:36 PM

One the bloggers I read regularly made a post today about traditions and how blindly tossing them is no better than blindly following them. It's a good point. People who want to stand out now say "I'm following NO traditions!" and I'm sure I've said the same thing myself, with pride.

I guess it's useful to think about the standard things we do at weddings and find out WHY they were done in the first place and then decide whether it's something we want because of what it means, or maybe in spite of what it means.

There are many little things we're not doing, most just because they really didn't come up in wedding planning.

But there are some I just don't like the origins of. Weddings are ancient, were usually arranged by family, and some practices just don't go for the modern woman.

My father is not walking me down the aisle
Why? Well, first I haven't even seen my father since I was 9 and we just got in touch again last year, so we're not close and it just doesn't make much sense for us. But mostly, he is not giving me to another man. I am not being passed on from one dominant figure to another. I won't stand for that symbolism anyway. FH and I are walking together. It's OUR marriage, it's a mutual relationship, and we would like to represent that we two are starting this marriage together. Make that a tradition!

I'm not wearing a veil/blusher
The whole practice of covering your face is just part of the prize aspect of giving away the woman. She arrives at the altar and is "revealed" to the man who will take her. No way. I'm not opposed on principal to the veil on top or at the back of the head, but I think I'd personally just rather have a flower as adornment.

But of course there will be traditions in my wedding. Like exchanging vows, rings, wearing a pretty traditional wedding dress style (Ok, except for the color), having a wedding cake, serving dinner at a reception following the ceremony...

Oh apparently the wedding cake has a long line of history from the days when the man would break bread baked for the occasion over the bride's head to show his dominance, among other things. Fab. The practice of feeding the cake to each other, on the other hand, is apparently symbolic for always providing for each other. See, now that's sweet. I'll do that, though I don't want it shoved in my face ;)

In the end I can't think about it too hard or I'll go crazy. But I'm a questioner and a protester. I question the status quo of most things I get my hands on.

P.S. Realize that this is in no way a judgment on any of your decisions, just a statement of mine.

Nekochanpurr

08-06-2008, 01:36 PM

I thought the veil was because back in the day people would come try and steal the bride, or some cr@p... I know thats why they have the man standing on the left side, so his right arm is free.. XD

acidcookie

08-06-2008, 01:40 PM

I thought the veil was because back in the day people would come try and steal the bride, or some cr@p... I know thats why they have the man standing on the left side, so his right arm is free.. XD

Haha, maybe that's true too. Also, in very old cultures, the veil was used to ward off evil spirits. I even read somewhere that ... Greeks? wore red or yellow veils. Many of these traditions change for new meanings over time.

Nekochanpurr

08-06-2008, 01:44 PM

I believe they had the bridesmaids dress like the bride to ward off evil spirits, too. :D Yay history channel!

acidcookie

08-06-2008, 01:51 PM

I believe they had the bridesmaids dress like the bride to ward off evil spirits, too. :D Yay history channel!

Yeah I read that too! AND the bouquet was herbs and also warded off evil spirits! Gosh, why so **** many evil spirits at weddings?!

Danielle9608

08-06-2008, 01:52 PM

Yeah I read that too! AND the bouquet was herbs and also warded off evil spirits! Gosh, why so **** many evil spirits at weddings?!

LOL evil spirits were everywhere back then! Don't they say god bless you when you sneeze because they were afraid and evil spirit would fly in your mouth.

acidcookie

08-06-2008, 01:54 PM

LOL evil spirits were everywhere back then! Don't they say god bless you when you sneeze because they were afraid and evil spirit would fly in your mouth.

Yeah, something like that! Germans just say "Gesundheit" (good health). I guess we're not so concerned with evil spirits, lol.

Danielle9608

08-06-2008, 01:56 PM

Yeah, something like that! Germans just say "Gesundheit" (good health). I guess we're not so concerned with evil spirits, lol.

I also heard they say god bless you because your soul would try to escape and by saying that it cramps it back in. Although I'm not sure if this one is true :grinhappy:

Nekochanpurr

08-07-2008, 01:41 PM

Danielle, i heard the 2nd one, too!!

Omg, its all evil spirits and fertility, LOL.

acidcookie

08-14-2008, 01:08 AM

I'm feeling less than thrilled again. I'm not really happy with our venue. When we were looking originally, we went to this really nice restaurant that we like that we found out had a private room which has held weddings. I think it was the first venue possibility we looked at it. We walked in and the room was gorgeous. She swung open the doors and it was like a magical scene in front of me.

The whole restaurant is in an old remodeled mill. This room has awesome old wood everywhere, tables and chairs with character, lights strung everywhere. Oh, it just had such a feel to it. But it only held 70 people, which we should have just let be our maximum since we're thinking up to 100 anyway. But we worried about the flexibility of the place as all of us traipsed up and attempted to have a ceremony and reception while the rest of the restaurant would still be open. There are no extra rooms to get ready in or anything like that.

So we went with the lodge. Which has more space, is all ours, and is more flexible. But it's plain, very plain. And I still think about that gorgeous room.

Then Keely's beautiful Victorian wedding photos reminded me that we never went back to that Victorian mansion in the neighboring town (the same one with the awesome mill restaurant). That whole town is old and Victorian and has lots of grand houses and mansions, some open to the public, and some available for weddings. I'm really regretting it now.

I always say I just want this wedding to be in someone's great house. I wish I were close with someone who has a large house. Or that we could somehow get into these mansions, like here:
http://www.galenfrysinger.com/victorian_houses_bellefonte_pa.htm

I want my wedding to feel like a family party, not like a banquet. Not like a catered event with a programmed plan. Even with 100 people I want a more intimate feeling. I want everyone to feel a part of it, free to mill around, mingle, have drinks, have conversation.

FH and I brainstorm about how parties work and what we like about them and how to get that same feel to our wedding. How to make it NOT feel like a reception, but like a house party.

Anyway, all in all I'm feeling discouraged about our venue. Additionally because of all the restrictions on outside food, alcohol, decorating ... :ooh:

We put a $600 deposit on the lodge so we feel a bit stuck and FH assures me it will be fine and there will always be something "better." True, but we kind of forgot a whole area of venues (those mansions), and it's not like I'm asking for Disneyworld or perfection, just something more fitting.

TeacherSonja

08-14-2008, 05:09 AM

Sorry to hear that you're not happy with the venue. There always is something "better" simply because we don't have it, but if you find a venue that's more suitable, go for it.

BTW I'm new here so I haven't commented on your dress - It's GORGEOUS!

Jacobs_Girl

08-14-2008, 09:02 AM

sorry you aren't happy with your venue :grinhappy: Maybe you could get a $600 credit to the restaurant or something then you will be free to get that mansion.

I had a hard time choosing too and I actually ended up renting a mansion but it was too small! I really wanted a bigger one so all of our guest could rent out the rooms. The property only has 10 rooms but only 4 are available to rent. The others they use as dressing rooms and storage etc etc

Good luck and hope you get things situated :)

acidcookie

08-14-2008, 10:52 PM

I tend to be at my lowest at night. I'm something's going to upset me it'll be at night. If I'm feeling down it's at night. So last night I was down about our venue, today I am better. There are still plenty of places in town I'd like to get married, but they're ones we can't have. We have a neat museum on campus but their site specifically says "no weddings!" There's a really nice alumni center with a garden outside with a pond and even a little gazebo. The building's really nice too. FH is an alum, he did his undergrad here too, but they said "nope, no weddings." Arg.

But there's nothing wrong with the lodge, I was just being bratty. It's not perfect, and the inside really isn't that pretty, but we will make it work! Mostly I'm glad there's a lot of outside area and a big deck.

acidcookie

08-14-2008, 10:54 PM

When I first moved to this town 3 years ago (August 2005!), FH was the first person I met. The first person I hung out with. I flew here and Fedex'd all my stuff and it all survived except my computer. I was pissed because I had built it myself. While I was dealing with it, Brian let me use his old imac. It was slow, but it got me through emailing and such.

I had no music to listen to and Brian burned me a copy of The Chillout Sessions (http://www.amazon.com/Chillout-Session-Various-Artists/dp/B00005V0X4/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1218767928&sr=8-8), a 2-CD set of chill songs that are mixed into each other into one continuous stream. So it was the only thing I listened to over and over in my first days here and dating him. Now I still listen to it on occasion when I work and need to focus.

Well there's a song on here by Sigur R�s called "Staralfur" which is beautiful and dreamy and kinda quirky. It's in Icelandic so I don't know what it means but I don't care. Then, it flows into my favorite song on the album, "Hayling," by FC Kahuna. And I think the sound is perfect for some part of the ceremony, like walking in. Brian's internet connection at his NJ apt sucks so he got kicked off IM again so I can't give him the idea! I'm sure he'd love it since this is one of his favorite CDs too. :grinhappy:

acidcookie

08-14-2008, 10:58 PM

Lyrics to Staralfur, just for fun:

Bl� N�tt Yfir Himininn
Bl� N�tt Yfir M�r
Horf-Inn �t Um Gluggann
Minn Me� Hendur
Faldar Undir Kinn
Hugsum Daginn Minn
� Dag Og � G�r
Bl� N�ttf�tin Kl��a Mig �
Beint Upp � R�m
Brei�i Mj�ku S�ngina
Loka Augunum
�g Fel Hausinn Minn Undir S�ng
Starir � Mig L�till �lfur
Hleypur A� M�r En Hreyfist Ekki
�r Sta� � Sj�lfur
Star�lfur
Opna Augun
St�rurnar �r
Teygi Mig Og Tel (Hvort �g S� Ekki)
Kominn Aftur Og Alltallt�l�
Samt Vantar Eitthva�
Eins Og Alla Vegginna

I happened to see in the translation something about "under a blue sky" but I didn't look any further. I like the dreamy mystery of the song :grinhappy:

acidcookie

08-15-2008, 01:44 AM

FH surprised me by telling me that he wants to wear a 3-piece suit! I thought he'd go for something a bit less formal. We both like the idea of dark gray. So I decided to tweak the color scheme a bit. Also, it felt a little too carefree for how formal our attire is now. Between my pretty traditional-style ballgown and now his full suit I want the rest of the wedding to be fancied up a bit. I still want a carefree feel, but a bit more of a sophisticated look. Also, I am still working to make my red dress feel like a focal point, not just a random choice.

So because I love these lanterns and they come in all sorts of colors, I just made a new lantern row:

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e368/acidcookie/mylanterns2.jpg

I imagined things that are red with rows of sparkly, silvery beading to mimic my dress.

Jacobs_Girl

08-15-2008, 10:17 AM

acidcookie

08-15-2008, 11:44 AM

I got some of these for my reception. you can buy them bulk at this online store for the cheapest I found so far, even cheaper than ebay

http://www.koyalwholesale.com/pages-main-category-692_738_763/paper-lanterns-bulk-criss-cross-round-paper-lanterns-black-criss-cross-round-paper-lanterns.html

Thanks!!! :grinhappy:

acidcookie

09-06-2008, 09:52 PM

Right now we have a lodge reserved for our big day where the plan was to serve a full dinner reception. Except we never really explicitly decided to throw this kind of reception, it was just sort of assumed. We're always trying to make our reception feel more like a party and less like a banquet and I finally decided that a full sit-down dinner just isn't what I think will work best for us. Especially considering that with our budget we could use to do something less than the most expensive reception option.

Even FH's mom, who otherwise would think this wedding needs to take place in a church with me in a white dress, said she didn't understand this whole feeding people dinner thing. For her a wedding reception was just some cake and something to drink after the ceremony.

I really wish there was a neat bar or gallery here to rent out, but we live in a small college town in a sea of farm lands and what I'd like just doesn't quite exist here. I imagine a place that just looks cool already so we can skip decorating, etc. and people can just order drinks on our tab. We'd have appetizers, the cake, and a chocolate fountain. There'd be some music, and people would just mill around and mingle. Again, a party atmosphere.

But we have already put our deposit on the lodge which is so ... woodsy and kinda plain and not really conducive to swanky cocktail party flair. Also, the inside room holds 200 people seated so 100 or less people just standing and walking around would feel weird in such a large space.

Ugh, I don't know. I'm just not quite happy with our location. It was always something we sort of settled for because it was the most flexible. But it just isn't quite right. :ooh:

Kay

09-07-2008, 07:33 PM

acidcookie

09-07-2008, 08:15 PM

Just started reading your blog tonight. You have some interesting views and ideas. I like it. Luv your dress, btw. I really like the pics of you and your FH. Too cute. The proposal, btw, was too incredibly sappy and cute. Good for him.

As for your venue concerns, I read back through your blog and you wrote EIGHT sentences that are against/discouraging/downplaying your venue and FIVE times you said it was "plain" ~ can you get your $600 back and go with a venue you really want??

It may just be ONE day... but it's an important "one"...

Thanks :)

Yeah, we keep mulling it over. I looked at the lodge again today and realized I was making it way worse in my head because I imagined all the most perfect places in the world it could be. Everything, once set up, looks just fine.
This is it (website and photos are not the best): http://www.tusseymountain.com/banquets/photobanquets.html

No, it's not the swanky art gallery with amazing lighting I dream of, but that just doesn't exist in this town, period. Unfortunately nothing of such a style exists here. I admit that the lodge isn't a jawdropper, but the normal part of my brain reminds me that there are so many more important things about that day. I have my great FH, I'm gonna rock this fabulous dress, my friends and family will be there, and at the end of the day we'll be married.

The space is plain, but at least it's not overwhelmingly a style I can't get into. It's large enough for everyone, the tables and all that are included, and food and alcohol are on site. Also anything we want in there, we can have done. FH said "consider it a design challenge!"

Plus I remembered today that they have the whole outside setup available which is in the gorgeous hills overlooking the valley so if we can count on the weather, then that will be perfect.

acidcookie

09-07-2008, 08:57 PM

I had posted about Staralfur as a good song for the wedding just because I like the sound and the bit of backstory on it, but now it may be even more relevant because...

Brian and I may be honeymooning in Iceland!

Now, before you think "What? Who would go there?" let me explain. If you've never heard much about it you probably imagine it to be an isolated, frozen tundra with miserable weather and nothing to do. But you'd be wrong! Iceland has so much volcanic activity that in winter, believe it or not, it's warmer there than in New York! In summer the temperatures are in the 50s. Also in summer there are up to 24 full hours of daylight. Can you imagine? Plus there's the Blue Lagoon, amazing geography, Northern Lights (in darker months), and apparently very friendly people. It is isolated, but because of that, it's been left so pure.

Iceland used to be an expensive place to travel but with the Euro dominating and Iceland still using the Krona it has become considerably more affordable.

You may wonder how we even thought of this. Several years ago in an anthropology class I had to write a paper about a major change endured by a country and I wanted a country no one else would think of. Iceland! The more I read about it, the more fascinating this far-away world became. I've dreamed of going for years.

We'd love to go somewhere tropical, warm, all-inclusive, relaxing ... but we're getting married in August and the best time for us to honeymoon is that same month before the school year starts. Hurricane season? No thanks. August is a perfect time to take advantage of a place that's harder to travel to in winter.

Just for fun I had looked up prices for flights. Get this: Boston to Reykjavik, direct flight, round-trip...$646, all fees included. Um, it's costing me only about $50 less to get over to Portland this Christmas to see my family! So I said, let's go for it! Brian's on board, so, here goes!

RosieAngel

09-07-2008, 09:39 PM

If you don't like the location, it's early enough to cancel and just eat the deposit, right? Maybe you can find a smaller place more suited to the cocktail reception setting! I know you're on a tight budget, though, so maybe losing the deposit is a bad idea. It's just a thought!

Kay

09-07-2008, 10:11 PM

I just want to post that I LUV your location!! I soooo wish we had something nearly as nice in the small area which I live. You will do wonders with it! I think changing your mind constantly and questioning everything you do is something we all do ~as I am still doing it, constantly!

*FABULOUS VENUE*

BTW, did you know that legend has it (and apparently history books too) that Eric the Red, a Viking, discovered Iceland and Greenland and he wanted more people to go to Greenland than Iceland so he named them the opposite of what he saw - Iceland was actually the land of the "green" fields and the beautiful place to live but he wanted it kept a secret. :winktongue: GREAT choice for a honeymoon - NOT being on the Euro is a HUGE plus - which is why we have chosen Turkey (but that is not set in stone yet, as they are currently applying to be on the Euro, dangit).

acidcookie

09-07-2008, 11:55 PM

I just want to post that I LUV your location!! I soooo wish we had something nearly as nice in the small area which I live. You will do wonders with it! I think changing your mind constantly and questioning everything you do is something we all do ~as I am still doing it, constantly!

*FABULOUS VENUE*

Thank you! It is pretty great, up in the mountains here. I'm just never satisfied, and totally indecisive. I'm from Portland, OR which has a wealth of funky, interesting places so it's just tough to not have that here when I feel like it's part of me. My mom has suggested getting married there which would rock but I don't even want to entertain the idea of planning a wedding from 2,500 miles away, especially when flying there costs me $600 now!

uptowngirl

09-08-2008, 12:59 PM

Iceland would be such an amazing place to go! DH has a friend who lives there, and he has sent us pictures a few times...I love all the bright colors on the buildings! I'd love to hear more about your trip once you get it planned!

BTW - yay Portland! :D Being a Vermont/Portland girl I definitely understand about the flights back and forth...I have been doing it for 12 years now!

acidcookie

09-19-2008, 02:25 AM

I suppose it's time for an update. Here's what's happened lately:

Cake!
-We have a date on Monday to meet with a cake baker. She comes highly recommended from my former roommate who had her cake done by her. She's reasonable at $2.25/slice for buttercream and is apparently also the executive pastry chef at Penn State! She's available on our wedding date, but says that even if we sign up with her now we don't have to let her know what we want yet. Maybe that's normal anyway, but I think it's great! We're giving her red velvet and carrot cake flavors a whirl.

Her site: http://www.delectabledelightsbyheather.com/index.html

FH attire
-Brian got his suit. He was in need of a new suit anyway, so he picked one from Banana Republic. It's a 3-piece dark gray pins-tripe suit (this one: http://www.bananarepublic.com/browse/product.do?cid=5376&pid=582583). I was surprised he even wanted a full suit, but told him to wear what he wants. I do think he should wear it with his red tie because it's virtually identical in color and fabric style to my dress. What's funny is because his suit was $400 and I got such a steal on my $199 dress, his wedding attire is twice as expensive as mine! Granted he'll wear his again, whereas I'll be hard-pressed to find another occasion for mine, haha.

Photography
-FH's advisor officially agreed to do our wedding photographs. He's a photographer here, obviously not as his main career because he's a professor, but he's more than an amateur. His work hangs in one of the buildings on campus. He initially offered because apparently he wants to do more portrait work. Oh, and he's doing it all for free. Of course he gets a spot for reception dinner and we'll get him a gift.

His photos: http://wang.ist.psu.edu/~jwang/photography/index.html (http://wang.ist.psu.edu/%7Ejwang/photography/index.html)

Cool ring idea!
-Also, we came up with a neat idea for the ring exchange part of the ceremony. My engagement ring is custom-cut, not a solitaire, pretty blingy for my taste and has channel-set diamonds so I just know I can't wear a wedding band next to it. So I won't be getting one. SO... what do we do when give each other rings? I could give my ring to him and have him use it again during the ceremony. But frankly, that's silly to me.

I will have owned this ring for a year and a half and I don't see any reason for going through a staged "with this ring" moment with a ring I already have as though he's presenting me a ring when he's not. Why go through the standard motions to represent something that's not actually happening?

So I thought that we could modify it. During the ceremony he won't even give me a ring. I'll just give him a ring. The idea will be something more like he's already given me a ring, made a promise to me. Now I'm giving him a ring to return that promise. Then even FH said "like it completes the circle!" Yeah! So he gets it and thinks it's a great idea. For the year and a half we will have been in an engagement stage. His ring to me started it, my ring to him finalizes it, solidifies the commitment.

$$
So where are we now?
Already paid: $1,250
Still budgeted/expected remaining costs: $5,344
Still need to save for remaining costs: just $612.

Not bad.

TeacherSonja

09-19-2008, 03:18 AM

Anne, you have so much done already. Great work! I love the ring idea!

Ninedays9

09-19-2008, 08:09 AM

Kudos to you for getting so much done on your wedding even while so busy with school. :)

PGDesigns

09-19-2008, 08:31 AM

I know you have been going back and forth about your venue, but I think you will do an amazing job with it! I have loved reading all of your ideas so far!

acidcookie

09-19-2008, 08:34 AM

Thanks everyone :)

brendalin

09-19-2008, 10:58 AM

Cool ring idea!
-Also, we came up with a neat idea for the ring exchange part of the ceremony. My engagement ring is custom-cut, not a solitaire, pretty blingy for my taste and has channel-set diamonds so I just know I can't wear a wedding band next to it. So I won't be getting one. SO... what do we do when give each other rings? I could give my ring to him and have him use it again during the ceremony. But frankly, that's silly to me.

I will have owned this ring for a year and a half and I don't see any reason for going through a staged "with this ring" moment with a ring I already have as though he's presenting me a ring when he's not. Why go through the standard motions to represent something that's not actually happening?

So I thought that we could modify it. During the ceremony he won't even give me a ring. I'll just give him a ring. The idea will be something more like he's already given me a ring, made a promise to me. Now I'm giving him a ring to return that promise. Then even FH said "like it completes the circle!" Yeah! So he gets it and thinks it's a great idea. For the year and a half we will have been in an engagement stage. His ring to me started it, my ring to him finalizes it, solidifies the commitment.

What an awesome idea! I love it!

acidcookie

12-01-2008, 01:48 AM

Wow, so the wedding is officially 8 months away! We still haven't been doing much. We've gone back to our original "enchanted forest" theme, but with a twist. See, the one thing that got us hung up on it and made us change our minds was the decor it seemed to call for. Really decking the place out in trees, lighting everywhere, twinklies, mystic things ... so we've put a modern twist on it. In doing a search for some stylized art, FH stumbled upon the illustrations of Charley Harper and we loved the style instantly:

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e368/acidcookie/charley01.jpg

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e368/acidcookie/charley03-1.jpg

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e368/acidcookie/charley04.jpg

We knew it could be the key to our modern, minimalist interpretation of a magical summer night in an enchanted forest.

I just ordered our invitation paper from paperandmore.com. I got their 100% recycled cardstock and matching envelopes. The colors and style for recycled paper there are so limited (and quite expensive elsewhere), but using the recycled paper is important to me. Plus it has a very natural, uneven, speckled look to it that I find charming.

But not much else has come about since then.

Just to keep track:
Spent: $1,397
In savings: $6,014!

acidcookie

12-01-2008, 02:00 AM

In the past month or so I've done much more reflecting on myself than anything about the wedding. Or maybe it's that I know I need to do more reflecting. I feel really beaten down lately. It seems I invite ridicule no matter what. A simple Facebook status gets friends out of the woodwork to criticize, commentary on another friend's posts gets their friends who don't even know me to attack me (not my post or opinion) personally, the comebacks, the insults, getting heavier. Why? What do I do in my daily interactions that provokes confrontation? I've started to think that it's me, not everyone else. Sure, I have one particular friend who wants to start an argument with everyone, and right now I need to keep out of his hair. But why everyone else if it is not something I am unintentionally, implicitly inviting?

I'm tired. I feel weary and like I'm really not going in the right direction anymore. I need time to myself, to think, to reflect, to CREATE. I'm pretty busy, but much of the precious free time I have I manage to squander here on the Internet, staring at the TV even though there is not ONE show that I make a point to watch, wasting on other inconsequential things. I'm a musician, an artist, a photographer, why am I not using the free time I beg for to further those things?

I need more release. I need to write songs, I need to find somewhere (besides the symphony) to perform, on a more personal level. And most importantly, I need to look outside myself. My calling to volunteer, to use what I know is a relatively privileged status in the world to help others, is louder than ever. I keep going back to the Peace Corps site but know that I am not in a place to commit 27 months of my life to the kind of life I would lead. Americorps, Citizen Corps, options. For now I probably only have the resources to help with local things like the local dog rescues or tutoring local adults getting their GEDs, etc.

It's December 1st, a new month, a good time to turn over a new leaf. I may take a big time out from my routine, my everyday, and give some serious time for myself. Well wishes, ladies (and gents), I'll be back soon!

EarlyBird

12-02-2008, 03:53 PM

somehow, i have never ONCE looked at your journal. i must say,i love everything you wrote (reflections and stressful situations in the first part of your journal was the most incredible thing i have read about wedding planning)
I just wanted to throw a couple things out there, feel free to take them with a grain of salt and then throw them out the window.. just thought i might be able to help a bit..

Your wanting the enchanted forest with some tress etc. what about sommmehting a little different. if the place is large enough, what about doing a couple lounge chairs, couches etc with the trendy laid back feel with those lanterns hanging and different colored kind of candles on a neat table (if you have neat pieces in your home like a white coffee table or couch you like, you could even bring it in)- when i priced out furniture it was sooo cheap to rent i was amazed..
then the other part, the "food" part could have a couple trees with the white xmas lights on them and stuff. it would break up your areas, creating a laid back feel and a little decor would go a long way and you could kind of use both of your themes to reflect YOUR taste.

i know what i envisioned in my head but i have noooo idea if the above statements came out right :)

acidcookie

12-16-2008, 01:18 PM

Planning the wedding is like setting up the right costumes and staging for a night of drama. I envision the evening as some coordinated mess of enchanted forest, fairytale, birds, castles, and a subtle bohemian/burlesque flair. How will I ever get it together?

I just ordered this castle as our cake topper:

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e368/acidcookie/475d_1-1.jpg

We're still inspired by those Charley Harper prints. I still want an enchanted summer evening in a forest feel but with a twist.

I plan to wear a fascinator (something like these: http://www.etsy.com/search_results.php?search_type=tag_title_descripti on&search_query=fascinator)

And I just found this beautiful fairy necklace that I think would be amazing with my crystal-lined, red, strapless ballgown:

http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_430xN.37858827.jpg (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=15184037)

But it might be too much with chandelier earrings and a fascinator...:ooh:

FH designed some cute invitations but they're a little more ... literal? than I'd like so we're working on that. I'll have to post pics once we finally get the design together.

amisteratwisterandme

12-16-2008, 04:55 PM

There is nothing wrong with taking time out for yourself. I hope you can find whatever it is that is making you edgy. I understand that!!!!

Volunteering doesn't have to be huge to make an impact. Regardless of the size of your commitment, the bucket needs every drop of hope you can give to fill it up, and it starts with one little drop!

Something that could be wedding related, and also help your sense of community would be to ask your guests to donate to a charity of their choice in your name instead of the usual wedding gifts. You could also specify a few different places that you and your FH support.

Then in lew of favors, you guys could donate in your guests name. Have little cards made up for each table that explains why you are passionate about your cause/causes and let the guests know that this was the avenue that you chose to take instead of spending money on trinkets.

Not trying to discount anything you have written, just knowing myself I like getting ideas from friends and using my creativeness to put things together. It makes me feel good!

acidcookie

12-16-2008, 10:19 PM

FH took the initiative and started an online Google word document for our guest list and included his guests. I added mine and right now there are 95 people, including kids. This is less than when we came up with rough drafts in summer, but I'm sure more people will come to mind. It's certainly hard to draw the line with some people, like friends and sort-of friends in my department, or friends I haven't talked to in a while or sort-of friends I am around a lot because of other friends...

Also, FH sent me the Illustrator file with our invitation design. I like it overall (very cute!) but feel there's a little too much going on and I want it a bit more abstract, so I think I'll play with it a bit.

Ok, now to get back to grading my students' final reports. Lots of reading to do tonight because my final grades are due tomorrow!

P.S. And thanks everyone for the comments! :)

acidcookie

01-05-2009, 12:06 PM

Time for some updates I suppose!

Our wedding "theme" or decor or whatever is morphing into this birds-in-the-forest thing. It's not an official theme, but I'm really drawn to the cutesy reto birds and swirly trees, a la: http://www.shutterstock.com/cat.mhtml?search_group=&lang=en&searchterm=bird+swirly+tree&x=0&y=0. They're all over Etsy so obviously I'm on to something.

Fascinator!
One thing that further drives this is an absolutely perfect feather fascinator I found on Etsy.

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e368/acidcookie/myfascinator.jpg (http://http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=12948493)

Because my dress is red with some crystal beading I think the splash of red in this one with the others will complement it perfectly.

FH's wedding band
We also bought FH's wedding band, sort of unexpectedly. We were at a local art/jewelry store in Portland because they have mokume gane rings, which I waned to see in person. Long story short, he was drawn to this hand-hammered band, a style he originally like:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3211/3167560851_54eb92b295_m.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/acidcookie/3167560851/)

Favors & more
We toss around so many ideas that lately I've been putting my decisive foot down and asking us to commit to an idea. So we are putting board/card games on the tables, filling the jars we've been saving with candy and putting them as centerpieces, and providing empty favor boxes so people can scoop out candies. In lieu of a traditional guestbook we are making the name/placecards an opportunity for each guest to write us a note of congrats, wishes, advice, etc. which they can drop in a box or large vase as they leave. Then we can read them all after the wedding and store them in a photo album.

I asked the lodge manager if we can have confetti thrown on the deck outside because I found some cute eco-friendly confetti poppers that I want guests to shoot off at the end of the ceremony.

http://www.beau-coup.com/Pictures/wedding_poppers.jpg (http://www.beau-coup.com/wedding-confetti-poppers.htm)

If it's ok with the lodge, I also plan on stocking up on sparklers come July 4 for us to play with once it's dark.

Whew! Maybe I have been getting things done!

I need to email the lodge manager again today to ask what color their plates are (I think I remember them being white) and what colors they have for tablecloths & napkins. She's really nice and lets us stop in as they are setting up for others' weddings to get ideas and maybe we should do that again.

TeacherSonja

01-05-2009, 12:19 PM

I love the fascinator! It will look great on you!

ChristineLS

01-23-2009, 07:20 PM

I never read your journal until now, and it's fantastic. I like how your evaluating the whys and hows of what you're doing, and being so sensible about it. I wish I had the same degree of organization!

acidcookie

02-09-2009, 12:17 AM

FH and I love each other very much and want to spend the rest of our lives together. But we've both got things to work on. We both struggle with anxiety. Mine makes me irritable, and I can also be very critical (not from anxiety but from ... how I was raised I guess). I'm working on these things in counseling. He can be worrisome and obsessive. He's working on that. We are also going to couple's counseling, though we're a bit lost in our objectives on that.

Well, the wedding being less than 6 months away was worrying him. He really wants us to work out the issues that have arisen or intensified since we've moved in together, before we get married, without a date to stress him/us out. So he suggsted we postpone the wedding. I know he's right, that we should be totally ready to go before it happens, but I'm still really sad. I had a feeling though that he'd say this soon, because any wedding talk recently has brought tense feelings. I wouldn't have postponed it only because I don't think we're really doing productive work on ourselves right now like we could be and I think moving the date back indefinitely is not going to change that. But I told him if he has any uncertainty about getting married in August then of course I don't want him to do it.

I just really wish we'd decided this even a week ago because my mom just booked her and my sister's flight and hotel here. She's the only one to have booked anything yet, and even paid an extra fee to go to the trouble to change the reservation (was a package deal) to the hotel closer to our house. I know that our wedding needs to work for us and we can't be pressured by what's convenient for others, but I hate that I have to tell her so soon after paying for it that it's wasted money because my mom does NOT have money like this to spend.

I'm thinking maybe she and my sis can come then anyway and just visit (since I have the time sort of free and it might be nice to have some family here during a time should have been a big celebration). If not I'll pay her whatever cancellation fees she has to pay, since we at least have money in savings.

I know it's the right thing for now, it saves us stress (especially given my schedule right now), and we're still getting married, but I'm still feeling a bit heart-broken.