Officiant NOT coming to rehearsal???

[StarCoveter]

OK, our officiant is actually FH's sister. She's not a professional - she just did the online thing for us. She did a lot of acting in college, so she'll be good up there doing her job.

She lives 50 minutes from the ceremony site, and says that she will not be able to make it to the rehearsal. BUT, she and her husband have said they are coming to the rehearsal dinner, which is still 30 minutes from her house. How can she drive 30 minutes and not 50? URG.

She says that her husband is taking her car for work and that she can't use the company car she keeps to drive that far. Well, if he's going to work, how can he come to the dinner???

And can she not get clearance to drive that far, and say that it's for the all-important rehearsal?

I mean, I know that's far to drive, but this is a one-time thing, ya know? I'm concerned that if she just shows up on Saturday morning, we won't have time to say, ok this is how it goes. I don't want anything to get screwed up on the day of. I know she just stands up there and talks, but she does have to hand us rings, vow papers, etc.... I would just really rather her be there the night before so I can feel calmer about the whole situation.

[uptowngirl]

Ooooh, that would make me nervous! Usually it is the officiant that runs the rehearsal! I guess if she will be at dinner you can always pull her aside and ask her to walk through things with you verbally - just to make sure there won't be any major surprises - or ask her to make sure and be there way early on Saturday!

[Brian's Bride]

Yeah, our officiant ran our rehearsal, too! Her story doesn't really jive, either. Will you have time on Saturday morning to do another trial run with her? Because Friday night you will figure out how everyone will walk in and out, the who-goes-where stuff. Maybe then you can tell HER how to walk in, and then just go through the script with her that morning. The whole BP probably wouldn't even need to be present for it.

[Jenna5366]

The officiants I looked into, a lot charged an extra $50 to have them attend the rehearsal. The one we ended up picking didn't say anything about that, but I think the ones in this area tend to not have a rehearsal... which scares me!

[saltyveruca]

Can you arrange for someone to pick her up? Or even just go visit her in the week before your wedding, just the three of you?

[StarCoveter]

Well, we live 3 hours from her/the ceremony site... so we won't have time to go visit her beforehand. And we offered to have someone go pick her up, but that would mean an hour and 40 minute drive for someone to do that. We can offer it, but I mean come on! She's known about this for a year!!! It just seems a little irresponsible, at the least.

[snowflakebride]

That does seem a bit strange...offer to push the rehearsal time back for her and see what she says to that. :ooh:

[Kirby]

I would think it would be difficult to even do the rehearsal without the officiant. :bbeek:

[Rainbow Brite]

Our officiant would've charged us a good bit extra for a rehearsal, so we didn't include him. We went to his office a few weeks beforehand to talk through the entire thing and get the "order of events" to put in our programs. But we did the walk through all by ourselves and it was fine. Of course, he's done hundreds of weddings, so we were very confident in his skill. Your girl sounds like a newbie, so I'd be nervous too :bbeek: Maybe at the very least you could call her and talk through the ceremony?

[StarCoveter]

Yeah, she's never done this before. URG!

[brendalin]

I would talk to her and explain to her the responisbilites of an officiant. How will you rehearse with out her?

[L.J.Aguirre]

ouch! i dunno but i'm guess just communicate as much as you can via phone and email. tell her what's gonna happen step by step. it was 70 dollars extra for us to have a rehearsal at the chapel.

[StarCoveter]

Well, she's definitely not coming to the rehearsal. But I'll see her at the dinner and talk it over with her then... and then she's going to get to the site early on Saturday and we'll walk through it then....

*cross fingers* Hopefully it'll all be alright!

[bichonlvr]

It will be fine..we did not have a rehearsal and it all worked out great!!!