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View Full Version : Between Sixteen Years And Three Months.


mitch
07-11-2008, 04:05 AM
Today July 11th marks a weird day for me.

If i had stayed Married to my First Husband it would have been our Sixteenth Wedding Anniversary today. Alas we only reached Ten. And i hold my hand up to the reason behind the Divorce.

Yes i was a naughty girl and met someone else. That someone else turned out to be Shmoo, who in exactly Three Months time i Marry.

I'm more excited about this Wedding than i was the First One. Maybe it's because i'm more Mature (Hard to think when you read the silly stuff i put on here at times lol) I was only 22 when i got Married the First time. I'm not saying that all 22 Year Olds are immature. Far from it. But i admit i personally did have a lot of growing up to do.

This time round i think the Wedding itself will reflect more on what Shmoo and i are about and not the norm. We are seen by our Friends as life and soul of the party and maybe that's why everyone we've invited so far has said they will definately be there. (I think it's more to do with our good Friend Jack Daniels LOL) But we do have a serious side to us. We work hard, keep a decent home, look after his Four Girls and Grandson as best we can, financially and emotionally even though we are 300 Mile away. We have a close net of Friends but hardly any Family. I don't even see mine and they live a mile across town. Infact they don't even know we have a Wedding Booked.

Maybe this Three Month mark has made me think about the true meaning of Marriage and what can be achieved by it. Or maybe i'm still doped to the eyeballs from yesterdays operation LOL.

To me Marriage this time round is all about commitment, understanding and sharing both the happiness and the sadness.
I never fully commited to my First Husband. I loved him, don't get me wrong. But this time round the love is more intense with Shmoo. We say it every day, every text message has Love You at the end. We even say I Love You as one of us leaves the room.
The Understanding has come from both knowing this time round what Marriage is all about. I Understand he works hard, needs time with his kids and time out on the PC. With my First Husband i couldn't understand the reason behind a lot of stuff that went on. And that turned me cold and bitter towards him in the end.
And the sharing of Happiness and Sadness has brought me more strength than ever before. I lost Two Babies with my First Husband and they were never spoken about again. Like it didn't matter. But i take my hat off to him for helping me through the death of my Father.
With Shmoo we have lost one child and it is spoken about. We laugh and we cry, we laugh till we cry. And that has got to be special. Hasn't it?

Sorry for the length of this. I must be going soft in me old age. :bbredface:

What does Marriage mean to you?

SerendipityCrafts
07-11-2008, 07:02 AM
Re: the pseudo anniversary - It's a bit bitter sweet isn't it? I know.

Hmmmm marriage ....

For me, it means a true and equal partnership, with someone who is my twin and not my polar opposite. It means being with a man who lifts me up and encourages me to reach heights that I had previously stopped dreaming about. It means a deep and committed relationship; not a day to day roller coaster of emotions. It means honest communication; no more days of sullen moodiness. It means feeling safe and secure, loved and cherished. It means wanting to please him because he gives so much back to me. :)

f77g4
07-13-2008, 04:09 PM
Wow - a bit bittersweet for sure.

I'm glad that you've found your true "soul mate" mitch as it appears that you and your FH have a great bond and a wonderful life.

For me marriage is getting to spend every day with my best friend and one of the only people to truly "get me". It means that I know he has my back and I have his. It means sharing my life with someone who I can't live without and solidifying/making a public commitment to everything I have felt for him in the past 7.5 years.

LovingLife
07-13-2008, 04:23 PM
Marriage to me is...

Knowing that no matter what, I have someone who loves me unconditionally. Waking up every morning to my best friend, and still getting butterflies. Knowing that not even in the worst of times can I picture myself with anyone else. I always will have someone to listen to me and actually understands me. We have an equal and loving relationship and I could not ask for anything more.

He has given me the two greatest gifts of my life....

My son & true love

WebLady
07-13-2008, 04:30 PM
I can honestly say that I never think about any anniversaries of my first marriage. I am such a different person now than I was then, but in a way I guess I have that experience to thank in part for who I am today.

I never really thought about the future much in my first marriage, I think about it all the time now. The ex and I never really talked about things much over the common niceity (sp?), and sometimes even that was minimal. Now, DH and I talk all the time about all kinds of things; we laugh, we cry, we joke, we play, we plan, we pray ... DH is truly my best friend; I am so in love with that man :wub:

We kiss and say I Love You several times a day ... our marriage is about love and commitment and enjoying life and building a future together :grinhappy: