Shawna (Bride)

[Hayz]

Hey ya girl - just wondering how you are getting on now. You're so close now.

Anyway just wanted you to know I'm thinking of ya.

[tha_mrs]

Hayz, did you have pics?I would love to see them!~

[Shawna Bride]

Thanks for asking Hayz.. I was thinking of you the other day to see how you were doing post-wedding.
I'm feeling a little down today. I am so scared that I won't be a good wife. I'm just feeling a little insecure and sensitive today... I don't know why, nothing happened to make me feel this way.

[CindySue]

Thanks for asking Hayz.. I was thinking of you the other day to see how you were doing post-wedding.
I'm feeling a little down today. I am so scared that I won't be a good wife. I'm just feeling a little insecure and sensitive today... I don't know why, nothing happened to make me feel this way.
Shawna.....are you living together now? If you are I dont think anything will change except you will have the same last name and you can boss him around more. J/K

[Shawna Bride]

Ya, we are... but I'm not really very domestic. It just doesn't come naturally to me.
He laughed at me when I called him to tell him I won't be a good wife.. He knows I'm a slob and loves me because of that he said.
I guess I just wish I had the domestic gene and could take care of him.

I am just feeling weird today.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Ya, we are... but I'm not really very domestic. It just doesn't come naturally to me.
He laughed at me when I called him to tell him I won't be a good wife.. He knows I'm a slob and loves me because of that he said.
I guess I just wish I had the domestic gene and could take care of him.

I am just feeling weird today.

But Hun, there is no reason why you couldn't change if it makes you feel that badly!! Did you know that I was the BIGGEST slob before meeting my DH!! Now I am the biggest neat freak, its crazy! You won't be a bad wife hun, he's marrying you because he loves you! Not because you can't clean...lol. It's all good! Like someone else said, the only difference after your married is that you will share the same last name (will you? I don't know if I ever read which way you were going to go! lol) and you'll be hubby and wife! It really feels no different! Except the other day when someone called me MRS! :bbeek: Lol

[Kacie_bride]

I know several women who do not have the "domestic gene" that have great marriages. But like previously mentioned, if it makes you feel that badly, change. I didn't have any domestic skills until I moved in with Justin. Then I figured out that if I wanted to eat good I would have to figure out how to cook. It wasn't that Justin wouldn't cook, it was every time he did he smoked out our house! The smoke alarms would go off and everything! LOL. I also just decided that my home was a representation of me and not my parents anymore so I started cleaning. Don't worry you'll be a good wife wether you take on the domestic role or not. Marriage is not about cooking and cleaning.

[MOB Karen]

Ya, we are... but I'm not really very domestic. It just doesn't come naturally to me.
He laughed at me when I called him to tell him I won't be a good wife.. He knows I'm a slob and loves me because of that he said.
I guess I just wish I had the domestic gene and could take care of him.

I am just feeling weird today.

Shawna, I'm sorry to have to say this, but you either have that gene or you don't. It would be very hard to change. I feel like it would be like changing a tiger's stripes, you just can't do it. I think you would start resenting the fact that you felt you had to change in the first place. I think he likes you like you are, or he wouldn't be marrying you. Personally, I'm not one bit domestic, and that might be why marriage never worked out for me. I tried, but I just couldn't do it. Now Amber is another story, she is so domestic! She loves cooking and doing wifey stuff. She'll stay married forever! But I always, always hated it. No matter how hard I tried to change.

[tha_mrs]

I think that when you get married some things will change.Once you get back home after all the celebration is over, you come home different.Not just with a new last name, but you come home his WIFE! To me, that makes me want to do somethings I've never done and try things I've never tried.I love to cook, but cleaning, oh no ma'am that domestic gene skipped me too!;) But is just something about the thought of being his wife, you will want what ever your husband wants for himself and vice-verse.There is no doubt in my mind that you will be an wonderful wife! (hey, and I don't really know you,so imagine what your FH thinks)You will be wonderful because you want to be wonderful! And that my dear is what keeps us on our toes.Striving to be the ultimate.The ultimate mother, the ultimate wife, the ultimate friend, and the ultimate lover! I have seen it and I want that for myself as well.Your FH sees it and his effort will match yours.So hey Bride...do your thing! It'll be grand,don't worry.

[tha_mrs]

I hope it doesn't sound like I am discounting any one's post.If it does I am sorry that's not how I wanted it to sound

[MOB Karen]

I hope it doesn't sound like I am discounting any one's post.If it does I am sorry that's not how I wanted it to sound

If you are talking about me, I don't feel that way at all. I was just giving Shawna my experience with domesticity. She has something that I never had which is someone that loves her just the way she is and doesn't care if she doesn't become Superwife. She is very, very fortunate and when she realizes that, she won't feel bad anymore. Good luck, Shawna! You will be a wonderful wife!

[tha_mrs]

No ma'am I didn't mean you. I just kinda noticed that my post was different from every body's.( I hate being differen sometimes) I just didnt anyone to take it the wrong way.You know because I am saying something different.What I was saying that he will lover her either way, but I think it may be something inside her that would make her want to do things differently.That happened to me the first time.

[MOB Karen]

Mrs. Middleton, from the sound of it, you're doing a great job of being a Mrs. yourself.

[Amber818]

Well...it all comes down to the fact that he fell in love with you just the way you are. The only thing that will change is your name. Don't feel obligated to change just because you feel you have to. Go with what feels natural. Things will fall together just how they are suppose to be. I think it is awesome when roles are reversed. You make him happy just the way you are and he makes you happy just the way he is. Just remember that...always!! Good Luck and Congratulations!

[CindySue]

I agree with everyone in a way. I was like you Shawna....a slob. Not really into the whole cooking and cleaning thing. But I changed over time. I think my kids had a lot to do with that. Now its like 2nd nature to clean the kitchen before going to bed, or to walk through the house just "straightening" up. And I would rather cook my family a home cooked meal over going to Mickey Ds any day! Your sweetie loves you for who you are and THATS whats going to make you a good wife.
Im wondering if a lot of your stress is coming from the fact that YOURE GETTING MARRIED IN A WEEK!!!!!!!!!!:goodluck: Out of all the doubts and fears Ive had so far, I think that last week or 2 are going to be the hardest for me.
Hang in there Sweetie.....Youre gonna do fine!!!!

[tha_mrs]

here, Here !:d

[tha_mrs]

Mrs. Middleton, from the sound of it, you're doing a great job of being a Mrs. yourself.

No ma'am, It comes from listening to the wisdom that could only come from people like you, GREAT MOMS!! See the way I see it mom, is that's how you know you've done your job.You said yourself how wonderful your own daughter was, who do you think she was watching.Don't count yourself out, if your daughter is wondeful then some of that (if not most) had to come from a strong parent.I read a lot of your post.I am young so I always look for wisdom.Although you are not my mom, you are a MOM. And yo never know what I could draw from you, just posting in a forum!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Shawna, I'm sorry to have to say this, but you either have that gene or you don't. It would be very hard to change. I feel like it would be like changing a tiger's stripes, you just can't do it. I think you would start resenting the fact that you felt you had to change in the first place. I think he likes you like you are, or he wouldn't be marrying you. Personally, I'm not one bit domestic, and that might be why marriage never worked out for me. I tried, but I just couldn't do it. Now Amber is another story, she is so domestic! She loves cooking and doing wifey stuff. She'll stay married forever! But I always, always hated it. No matter how hard I tried to change.

Just remember that some tigers CAN and DO change their stripes! I am living proof!! Lol!! I hated cooking and cleaning and now I consider myself to be a domestic godess! Sure I have my days where I don't cook or clean, but I have the right and feel its only fair that I have a reserve of a few lazy days here and there!!

Just remember Shawna, its about you! Not about what you do or don't do!! Its all stress right now Hun! It'll be fine in a little over a week!! Take care!! Deep breath!! lol!! Most importantly HAVE FUN!! lol

[Jenn060306]

Ya, we are... but I'm not really very domestic. It just doesn't come naturally to me.
He laughed at me when I called him to tell him I won't be a good wife.. He knows I'm a slob and loves me because of that he said.
I guess I just wish I had the domestic gene and could take care of him.

I am just feeling weird today.
Hey Shawna. I worry about the same things too. I am a miserable cook and i'm not so good with the domestics either. I sometimes cry to Mark thinking i won't be a good wife because i'm not good at household stuff. He doesen't care though. He know's what i'm like and he's ok with it.
I was thinking about you today as i was driving arround town trying to get some of my wedding stuff done. I was thinking you probaly need a moment away. If you want i will take you out for Tim's. Tea and a muffin.
Hope you're doing ok. Keep us posted! We love you!

[Kacie_bride]

I agree with everyone in a way. I was like you Shawna....a slob. Not really into the whole cooking and cleaning thing. But I changed over time. I think my kids had a lot to do with that. Now its like 2nd nature to clean the kitchen before going to bed, or to walk through the house just "straightening" up. And I would rather cook my family a home cooked meal over going to Mickey Ds any day! Your sweetie loves you for who you are and THATS whats going to make you a good wife.
Im wondering if a lot of your stress is coming from the fact that YOURE GETTING MARRIED IN A WEEK!!!!!!!!!!:goodluck: Out of all the doubts and fears Ive had so far, I think that last week or 2 are going to be the hardest for me.
Hang in there Sweetie.....Youre gonna do fine!!!!


I think when kids come into the picture it defiantely changes things. Unless you make a lot of money there is no way you can afford to eat out every night when you have kids. We couldn't do it and we don't have kids. They also can't eat TV dinners every night if you want them to be healthy. In this case, a motherly instinct kicks in to nuture the children. I'm not a mom, but I've seen this happen.

[Hayz]

Hey Shawna - Nothing has changed with us. You are obvisiously a good girlfriend as he proposed so therefore he must believe you will make a good wife. Just stay doing exactly what your doing now because that is what he loves. By becoming his wife you are not going to suddenly become a different person. If you did do you think either of you would like it?

I have just carried on being me, its just nice now I can say he's my husband and I'm his wife.

[rainbowtreat]

Ya, we are... but I'm not really very domestic. It just doesn't come naturally to me.
He laughed at me when I called him to tell him I won't be a good wife.. He knows I'm a slob and loves me because of that he said.
I guess I just wish I had the domestic gene and could take care of him.

I am just feeling weird today.

I am the same way. My mom and my sister are clean freaks. I just want things picked up but everythign doesn't need to be spotless for me. I hate dishes and Nicholas knows this. He told me when he moved here that I didn't have to do the dishes that he would do them for me. I can do 100 loads of laundry but I hate doing the dishes. He does do them most of the time but once in a hwile I will do a sink full when he has been working alot.

We also live together and his mom was the one that was afraid things would change between because we are getting married. But we are so good togehter and he knows how I am about house work. He doesn't complain, if he did I just remind him, hey you knew from the beginning that this is how I am. But over all everything works out great. He is a great man to me and my kids.

I am sure things will be just fine with you 2. Just keep being yourself, and that is who he fell in love with.

[LizabethDavis]

Sweetie, I wouldn't worry one bit about your domestic skills. Is it cleaning you are worried about? Try this site.... www.flylady.net (http://www.flylady.net) It gives good tips about getting into a cleaning routine and if you have a "routine" it is easier to do it....Your cooking can always be worked on as well.

The bottom line is though that he obviously fell in love with for who you are, so I wouldn't worry too much about changing!! Good luck sweetie.

[Shawna Bride]

Sweetie, I wouldn't worry one bit about your domestic skills. Is it cleaning you are worried about? Try this site.... www.flylady.net (http://www.flylady.net) It gives good tips about getting into a cleaning routine and if you have a "routine" it is easier to do it....Your cooking can always be worked on as well.

The bottom line is though that he obviously fell in love with for who you are, so I wouldn't worry too much about changing!! Good luck sweetie.

That looks like a great website!

[Shawna Bride]

5 days
5 days
5 days!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel so amazing. A few things finally sunk in to me yesterday:
1. Everything for the wedding is planned, and there's no point worrying about things. No Matter what things will go wrong, but who cares? It's going to be an amazing night no matter what happens.
2. My FH loves me, and proposed to me knowing that I am not the best housekeeper!
3. I am the luckiest girl in the world for finding him and I am so excited.

I'm totally relaxing and enjoying these next 5 days

[WhiskeyGirl]

5 days
5 days
5 days!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel so amazing. A few things finally sunk in to me yesterday:
1. Everything for the wedding is planned, and there's no point worrying about things. No Matter what things will go wrong, but who cares? It's going to be an amazing night no matter what happens.
2. My FH loves me, and proposed to me knowing that I am not the best housekeeper!
3. I am the luckiest girl in the world for finding him and I am so excited.

I'm totally relaxing and enjoying these next 5 days

Glad to hear things have mellowed out for you Hun!!
I was the same way a few short days before the wedding. Its like you realize there is no turning back and that everything will fall into place and that the number one thing is marrying your man!! Have fun and enjoy the next few days!!

[rainbowtreat]

I am so happy for you. Glad you can enjoy this time. I can't wiat to see all your pictures. Have fun!