Do you call your in-laws Mom and Dad?

[Rainbow Brite]

I've called my MIL "Mom" once already and I love it - but it's so hard to get used to for some reason...lol. What do you guys call them?

[SerendipityCrafts]

I never knew what to call my ex inlaws. I met them when I was 16 so it was always Mr. & Mrs. I asked xMIL what she wanted to be called when I got married but she said "whatever you want". Calling them by their first names didn't seem right and because she didn't suggest "Mom & Dad", I didn't feel comfortable calling her that either. I don't think I called them anything until our kids came along and then it was Grandma & Grandpa :rofl:

I met DH's parents as an adult and so, I just started in with Mom & Dad. I only found out recently that DH's ex would never use Mom or Dad.

Some say that they can't call another woman Mom because they only have one Mom. I see Mom as a title just as Brother is and so I don't mind using Mom & Dad at all. I have plenty of room in my heart for 2 Moms & 2 Dads :)

[WebLady]

Yeah, I sort of call FIL "Dad"; I also call DH's grandparents Grandmother and Grandfather, per their request ;)

[Jacklynn]

I call them Todd and Tammy.... because that is their names, and I just always have.

[Dani]

I call them by there first names (that is when i accidently answer the phone when they call! lol) But I do call his grandmother's "grandma" and his aunt/uncles aunt _____ and uncle _____.

I couldn't call another person mom, I only have one and we are super close.

[kgvettegirl]

I call my MIL mom just because I can't say Bertha with a straight face. And she likes it.

Plus before I ever met RC and knew what his parents names were I named my Jeep Bertha. It is just too weird.

[KMS]

I call my MIL mom just because I can't say Bertha with a straight face. And she likes it.

Plus before I ever met RC and knew what his parents names were I named my Jeep Bertha. It is just too weird.

Oh how funny! :D

I called them Mr & Mrs Schellberg since I've known Chad, but now we're Mr & Mrs Schellberg too so that's just weird. His dad told me to call them by their first names now that we're all family and if I ever felt comfortable I could call them mom and dad, but all that feels weird too so I think I've been avoiding calling them anything at all. How long you guys think I can keep this up?? ;)

[SerendipityCrafts]

I call my MIL mom just because I can't say Bertha with a straight face.

LOL that was one of the reasons I couldn't call the XILs by their first names ........ they both had funny names too.

[SerendipityCrafts]

How long you guys think I can keep this up?? ;)

I was able to do it all through my first marriage but it does get easier to slide around as soon as you have kids LOL ....

Honey, your Mom is on the phone.
Kids - go see Nanny.

[Brian's Bride]

Yeah, "Mom" is too weird for me, too. I've been using Margaret and Todd since I've met MIL and her fiancee.

[shopmysongs]

I told my DIL to call me whatever. She really never called my anything but now that I'm a grandma she calls me that. Both my husband & myself call each other's parents, mom & dad. Some people it's just harder for.

[Nekochanpurr]

I kind of want to call them mom and dad.. But i have gotten through these 8 years.. Not calling them anything! :petrified: I can't bring myself to do it.. Even on the shower thank you's, i wrote both their names, then (mom and dad). LOL Help!

[SerendipityCrafts]

They say that if you can do anything for 3 weeks straight, it becomes a habit ..... LOL

[KMS]

I was able to do it all through my first marriage but it does get easier to slide around as soon as you have kids LOL ....

Honey, your Mom is on the phone.
Kids - go see Nanny.

Hahahaa. Thanks for the tip. I'll remember that! :grinhappy:

[Cilantro]

I call them by their first names. :)

[NOTKT]

I call them mom and dad, unless my parents are around, then they all get called by their first names!

[Kirby]

I call them by their first names. Even though I like them, I refuse to call them mom and dad because I have my own mom and dad.

Plus, it creeps me out because then it would seem like Jon and I were brother and sister. :snide:

[smiller]

That is really funny. I have been with my now finace for 5.5 years and everytime I never know how to call his parents. I sort of just look at them if I have something I need to say and wait till we make eye contact. He does the same with my parents.

I am hoping to not have to refer to them as anything after we are married and continue with my "wait till they look at me" move.

I definitely won;t call them mom and dad because they will never be my mom and dad.

If I must I will probably just call them by their first names. My dad has asked my huny several times to refer to him by his first name rather than waiting for my dad to happen to look at him.

[WBandMe]

Haha I totally do the eye contact thing too. Although really, I still avoid saying anything to them if I can help it. I speak when spoken too, and even then I make it as quick as possible. For thank you notes and stuff like that it's always been Mr. and Mrs., but for my birthday last month they sent a card and signed it "Mom and Dad" (with quotes) Lastname. So, I sent a thank you note saying "Mom and Dad" (still quoted) then wrote a line about how I thought it was sweet how they signed it. As for actually speaking to them... yeah, I still don't call them anything. This weekend I'm leaving for a two-week vacation with them... I wonder how long I'll get through living in the same place without needing to call them something!

[NowAShelton]

haha im joining the eye contact group. and if i absolutely have to i'll do kinda a uh *cough*ms.laverne*cough*

[Micah's bride]

I call FMIL by her first name and NaNa when it has to do with my son. Had I met her when I was younger, I probably would have called her Mrs. Terry, but she is so laid back and I'm pretty comfortable around her, so I've never felt weird calling her by name.

[flyerso6]

Haha funny thing for me is Ive never called them anything, never really had too, the first time I do its going to be so awkward. Crazy I have gotten by 5 years and never called them anything lol. I dont think I would ever call them mom or dad just because I had a mom and a dad and no offence to my in laws and I love them but they aren't my mom and dad. Hopefully I can get by not calling them anything until we have kids and then they will be grandma and grandpa lol.

[ChibiAiChan]

I call sean's mom by her name.... Sean calls my mom either Deb (her name is Deborah) or "mom" and he always says it all goofy. Him and my mom get along really awesome... cracks me up.

[MrsFuchs09]

I call FMIL "Mom" and Rick calls my mom "ma" or "mom" too. And he calls my dad "dad." We did this a long time before we got engaged.

I call FFIL "Mr. ________" b.c he scares me. He used to hit Rick when he was a litle kid and he's a jerk to Rick's mom, who I love as my own. After the wedding, I'll call him by his first name, prob. Until then....no. lol.

[RevMatty]

Depends... If it's Gina's bio-mom I do, if it's her step-mom I just tell her to stop complaining, there's enough air in the trunk:D

[val24]

we call each other in laws by their first names
but i do call his grandparents, granny & grandpa

[jannafin]

I call them by their first names. I call my stepdad by his first name, so I couldn't imagine calling my in-laws "Mom" and "Dad" when I don't even call my stepdad "Dad."

About a month ago, I went to a bridal shower for one of DH's cousin's FW (they were married yesterday actually, so I guess she's his DW now, lol) with my MIL and SILs. When the bride opened her gift from the groom's parents, she referred to them as "Mr. and Mrs. Lastname." My in-laws and I never really discussed it before and after hearing that, I wondered if they might prefer that I not call them by their first names. So, I mumbled to my MIL, "Do you want me to call you 'Mrs. Lastname'?"

She looked at me funny and said, "NO." And we laughed. I love her. :)

I call DH's grandma "Grandma", though. Just kinda worked out that way...

[Century Guy]

Yep! I call my in-laws "Dad and Mom". Admittedly, it can still feel odd now and then after 7 years, but I do it. They live about 2 minutes from us, so we all see each other fairly often, so it's not AS odd for me as it might be for some...

[RosieAngel]

FH calls his biological parents Mom and Bob - I don't know why he doesn't call his Dad "Dad!"

I call them by their first names, and sometimes call his Mom "Mom" if we're having an affectionate moment.

[ikkin510]

I don't really call my ILs anything...LOL. I don't feel comfortable calling them mom and dad. We just aren't that close When I have to call them something I usually use their first names though.
Is it odd that I don't know what my husband calls my parents? I never really paid attention to that I guess!

[mrssaferitetobe23]

I usually call them by their first names. I don't like calling FMIL Mom because my mother actually passed away three years ago, so I'm not comfortable calling anyone else by that name. So for now, it's "John and Shirlene."

[StarCoveter]

I call them by their first names. I went for a long time not calling them anything, and just avoided it. But on the same token, sometimes FH calls them by their first names as well, so it's not that big a deal.

[Whitewater]

My fiance lost his father when he was still in high-school, and just before I met him, 30 years later, his mother married again. He calls his step-father 'Jack' (a psuedonym, obviously, for their privacy) and when Fiance brought me over the first time, Jack introduced himself that way to me, too, so that's what I call him. Fiance introduced his mother to me as 'Jill' and though he calls her 'Mom', she's happy when I call her 'Jill', so to me, they are 'Jack and Jill'. Jack will never be 'dad' because that's not his role in the family -- and he's happy with it, so I'm happy with it.

They sign their birthday cards to me 'Love, Jack and Jill' so obviously they're happy with this arrangement.

Anyway, Fiance calls MY parents Sally and Steve, and not Mom and Dad, and *they* are happy with that too, though occasionally they still prefer Mrs and Dr MyLastName, and because Fiance was taught to do this as a manners thing when he was a kid, he'll still occasionally call my father 'Sir' which pleases my dad -- a former Navy Captain -- no end. :)

I would be very uncomfortable if I was expected to call my in-laws Mom and Dad, but luckily they don't seem to expect it, so it's all good :)


Whitewater

[WBandMe]

Well, over the course of the two-week vacation I mentioned I didn't call them anything. FH at one point asked what they'd like to be called and FMIL said she'd never thought about it, whatever I want, and see what his dad says. FFIL said he'd be honored if I wanted to call him dad, otherwise Mr. Lastname if it would make me more comfortable. I could see calling them mom and dad after the wedding, and my mom has already said she wants FH to call her that. For now, the eye contact thing is I guess what I'll do.

[bridal1]

I call them like the way I call my real parents.

[Jacobs_Girl]

I always called her Mariam, I never thought of calling her mom before. I know jacob calls her mommy LOL

[rainbowtreat]

I call freinds of mine sisters as they are like sisters to me but calling some one else mom has never been something I wanted to do. I never thought much of it. I always called my exMIL by her name. At my reception I gave my new MIL her bottle of sand from the sand ceremony and I called her by her name and said this is for you. She said " ( her name )? all the other girls always called me mom and your the one that just married him." I was confused at first then I realized what she had said. Now don't take it the wrong way, she is a great person and we talk once in a while. ( she lives in WV and we are in NH ). When she calls my husband will answer as we have ID so we know it is her. I will answer if he is busy or not at home and once in a while I will call her. But I still call her by her name. That is just me. No reason behind it. I have seen alot of people, my friends even call my mom mom. My husband will call my mom mom ( there are no dads in the picture ). I just don't do it. I asked my husband if she felt bad that I didn't but he said it didn't matter. I was thinking it was a southern thing.

Our friends who are like family to us call their inlaws mom and dad. The husband said he would be concidered rude if he didn't call them mom and dad. Now that bugs me. BUt to each their own.

So every one around me calls every ones mom mom. I just don't do it. Not because I have one mom and that is it. I just don't do it. I never called my step mom mom either. I always called her by her name. To the kids she is grammie "D' but to me she is her name. I never lived with them only visited.

[Katiegirl]

I'm joining the "eye-contact/trying to avoid names" group! :D I couldn't call them Mom and Dad, because they're not my Mom and Dad. David (FH)'s dad is is also a David, so sometimes it can get confusing. I've called him David when speaking to MIL, but not to his face! I doubt either of them would care if I called them by their first names, I'm just shy and feel like I'm still not "grown up" enough to call adults by their first names!! I'm 27!! :D

I don't think I would have a problem calling his family "Aunt ___" or "Uncle ____." Heck, I could definitely see myself calling his sweet grandfather "grandpop" or something, I just haven't done it yet.

[TangoWedding]

I call them by their first names - I think it'd be a little creepy with both of us calling them mom and dad. We're not siblings. :bbconfused:

And I wouldn't allow Jeremy to call my parents mom and dad. I barely call them that. LOL

[Rainbow Brite]

I was thinking it was a southern thing.Maybe you're right (I do live in the South after all). I just always figured it was the common thing to do. But then...my MIL (who's from New York) and her husband do it as well. So maybe it's not a southern thing? I'm confused...lol

Either way, I think it's cute. And if people want to think we're incestuous siblings because of it, they can kiss my *** :rofl:

[jenkniivila]

I use their names.. couldnt imagine calling them mom or dad. I suppose it just depends on your relationship with them. My husband calls my parents mom and dad sometimes..

[garnet]

My ex in laws I called Mr and Mrs F-- for a long time. I called them by their first names only a handful of times.

My soon to be MIL........her name is June and thats what I call her for the most part. Her long time boyfriend is Lyn and thats what I call him too.

[MrsBold]

I know she wants me to call her mom. I am trying to get used to it and I want to call her that because she is more of a mother than my own.

[spuls5]

I call them by their first names. I have known them for 15 years since we grew up together. So I used to call them by their first names then and still do. If I'm talking to FH I will refer to his mom as mom, "your mom called" or whatever.

[vicky_vicky]

Its funny! I dont call them mom and dad. If I speak with my fiance or his sisters and I want to say something about their mother or father I will say "How is mom/dad?"
But in person I never call them mom/dad, I call them mother in law/father in law, :bbconfused::confused: well actually in greek there is a specific word for these.

[Scrwballsgrl]

I call them by Mr.First Name & Mrs. First Name....old habits are hard to break:winktongue:
FH calls my parents by the same....it might change after we're married though.....b/c my mom always called my dad's mom by her first name but my dad has always called my mom's mom by Mrs. Williams.

My sis fiancee, called my dad by his first name and everyone just kinda was like:bbeek:

[joeyz_gurl]

His Dad is out of the picture... his mom wants me to call her by her first name... but being the good southern gal i am ... i feel uncomfortable with that and call her Ms. first name... my dad still after 35 years of marriage to my mom calls my grandma Mrs. Last name... lol, and when i just asked my mother ... she says she used to not use a name when referring to her... but called her grandma, until she became grandma to my niece... now she calls her memere... cuz that is what my niece calls her!

But for right now Ms. first name is working for me...

[gwenshack]

We're both doing the first name thing with our FILs. I avoided calling his mother anything for the first three years (although most of our communication was a random e-mail here or there). I would address the e-mails "Hello there!" because I certainly didn't want to call her mom, didn't want to insult her by calling her by her first name, or possibly equally offend her by calling her Mrs. blah blah blah. So I stuck with "You" for as long as I could hold out.
FH, meanwhile, has called my mom by her first name from the git-go. Within five minutes she told him he could call her by her first name. There was no confusion.
As for my transition out of the "You" phase, I just decided that if I had been introduced to her in another setting she would have been introduced to me by her first name. I'm not a child, so I decided that first name terms would be appropriate.
Mom, however, will not be. My mom is the only mom!! :)

[Ohio888Bride]

I avoided calling his mother anything Mom, however, will not be. My mom is the only mom!! :)

Same here. I don't have much contact with her, because she's just not around. We've invited her to our home a few times, but really don't speak to her much. She's always been cold to DH (her only son); he tried to warn me about her demeanor, but I had hope. I now know that I should have skipped the hope in her and stayed with the faith in DH.

His "father" helped to raise him (separately from his mom), but they don't speak. DH has reached out to him on numerous occasions, but the relationship has always been strained. DH's father doesn't return his phone calls and won't answer the door when DH drops by his house. It's sad. Needless to say, I don't have to call him anything; I've never even met him.

Both of his parents live in the same city that we do, but there's no contact.

DH has met my mom three times - once when she traveled to see us two years ago and twice when we drove to see my family (8 hours away). My mom loves him dearly! :) DH has never called my mom anything, but I've always told him that everyone calls her "mom"...even people who aren't married to one of her children. She'd have no problem with him calling her Jan, I'm sure.

DH will never meet my dad; he passed in 1993. :(

We mailed wedding announcements to DH's "parents" and have gotten no response...no email, text, phone call, card, message in a bottle, nothing... We may as well not even bother inviting them to the vow renewal and leave their names off the program. They obviously want nothing to do with their own son. I'll never have to call either of them anything!

[swtearl]

NO,

can't call them mom and dad....I've been married to their daughter over 25 years yet and never got that close to them.

[Coreysangel]

I call my mil mom i love her so much she is sooo amzing im not that close to my own mother and i haven't really seen his dad as often so i dont call him anything its just a hi or bye type thing i talk to his mom everyday

[EarlyBird]

I grew up in a family where we are italian and everybody is aunt uncle blah blah.. even if they arent your aunt and uncle.. in old school italian families (which mine happens to be) it was a serious sign of respect.SOOOO needless to say my mom calls her mother in law mom and i do the same thing. If im talking amongst my sis in law or bro in law i say "get mom" or "ask mom this" an i will hear them go "____(first name) blah blah" to be honest, it hurts me cuz i know that other days they call them mom and dad, they are very hot and cold about it.

If my parents are around i avoid calling ANY of them anything, only because i know its bound to cause confusion. I remember a couple weeks ago i was with both moms and i go MA and my mom goes which one :) So she is cool with it.. she will always be mommy, daddy will always be daddy, but i like my second set :)

fh calls my mom and dad mom and dad for the most part. him and my dad are very much FRIENDS though so i think in a social setting he might call him vin :) not sure
i know he calls mom and grandma and aunts by "mom granda aunt so so "

[tootsie]

I call them by their first names, Elaine and Woody. I think I'd feel a little weird calling them Mom and Dad. They are better parents than my parents though!

I have to bring this up - hubby brought up naming our first son Woodlea Forest, Woodlea after his dad and Forest after his grandpa...I was like, um no.

[Aleta]

Greg is starting to joke around that he will call my parents "mom and dad" after we're married. I call his parents by their first names, but I realized the in-laws on Greg's side call his parents Mom and Dad.. so I suppose I will too.

[Whitewater]

I have to post to this thread again, because now my MIL is signing herself 'Mom' [lastname] on birthday cards and whatnot and calling herself 'Mom' Lastname when she leaves voice mails and so on, like 'Hi, Whitewater, this is Mom lastname calling . . . . ' which is really freaking me out.

I mean, there's my biological mother whom I have never met, my adopted Mom (who is my mom, practically speaking, since I was adopted when I was 5 days old) and now my MIL is calling herself Mom!

How many mothers can one person have? I'm just glad there aren't any step-mom's in this picture, otherwise it would be crazy-making.

I think my MIL would be thrilled and flattered if I called her Mom, but I am sticking resolutely to calling her by her first name. Because my mother is ALREADY offended by my MIL signing my most recent birthday card 'Love, Mom Lastname'!!!

God knows what Mom would do if I started calling MIL 'Mom'.


Yeah. My MIL is now calling herself Mom when she interacts with me, and I just can't bring myself to do the same. I hope she doesn't get offended or upset by that, but I just don't think it's possible to ever call my MIL Mom!


Whitewater (and of course, my FIL will never be 'Dad' because *he* doesn't feel comfortable doing that, so no problem there!)

[EmmaM]

I live with my future grandmother in law, and I call her Granny Dane (Dane is my FH) His mum I call either her name, or Mummy Dane!

[WBandMe]

Well, now that I've been married for awhile, I guess I'll post here again. I am still not comfortable calling my in-laws anything at all. The nice thing is that now that we're married, cards and Christmas gifts we will put "Mom and Dad" with the assumption being that it's William calling them that and I'm just along for the ride. The other day I saw my MIL across a parking lot, and I yelled out her first name to get her attention... and when she called here a few weeks ago she said, "Hi, it's C____" ... so I guess that we'll be using first names for now. Although, I'd really prefer to not call them anything still!

[MrsDM]

DH's mom is out of the picture, so we don't have to worry about that one.

His step-mom he calls her by her first name, as do I. I doubt that she will ever be anything to me other than her first name.

His dad I use his first name, but him and I don't have that great of a relationship, so again, I doubt it will ever be anything other than that.

His grandparents (his dad's parents) I call grandma and grandpa. They have been nothing but sweet to me from day 1 and I don't feel it is appropriate calling them by their first names.

I wouldn't be surprised if DH calls my parents mom and dad someday. The relationship is definitely there and they have all kinds of nicknames for each other.

[mitch]

DH's Mum passed away nearly twelve years ago. As for what to call his Dad?

Cripes. I don't even KNOW his real name. :rofl:

We hardly see him. I've met him twice in seven years. Both times he hardly said two words to me. :bbconfused:

[dodgercpkl]

Anton and I aren't married yet, but I already call his parents mom and dad and his sister "sis". When we 1st got engaged, his family told me right off the bat that I was part of the family and should call them mom and dad, etc. I love his family and they are very much like my own, so it's easy for me! :)

His sister and I talk on MSN fairly often and she always opens the conversation with "hey sis!"

[LuLu86]

i dont call DH's parents mom n dad. Now my first husband i called his mom, 'Mom.' But as bad as it sounds my mil n i get along just some of the time. She is very suffocating and fil just dont care.

[melissa1031]

I call Fh's dad by his name.And Fh calls my mother by her name because thats what I call her.

[Nekochanpurr]

My husband has started calling my mom 'The Deb' LOL. She doesn't care, so.. XD Thank God mom is laid back.

[sandy03]

DH was giving me a hard time the other day because I call his mom and step-dad by their first names rather than "Mr. and Mrs." It just seems more natural to call them by their first names, but he also uses his step-dad's first name. When we have kids I'll probably use whatever pet names they come up with for themselves.

I do call his grandparents "Mamaw" and "Papa". When they started signing their cards to me like that rather than with their first names, I knew I was accepted!

[FFC]

My husband has started calling my mom 'The Deb' LOL. She doesn't care, so.. XD Thank God mom is laid back.

:rofl: My MIL's name is Debra and I call her Deb. I just can't seem to make myself call her mom when I have a perfectly healthy and alive mom. So she is Deb. His dad is out of the picture and if/when I do meet him he'll be "dipsh*t".... er.... John :blink:

Matt calls my mom his "other mommy"... or Beth :coolblue: and he calls my dad Jeff. So far I haven't heard him and my dad joke around about their new relations.

[f77g4]

Absolutely not nor will I ever.

They have started signing cards Mom & Dad but I can't....in my opinion they aren't even much of parents for my DH let alone me and I have the best parents so no need to add a 2nd set.

DH doesn't call my parents that either but he has a way better relationship with mine then his....he has started to give mom hugs though :)

[EarlyBird]

deleted.. responded to the wrong post

[FutureKelley]

Normally if I am talking to them, I use their first name... but writing it on cards and stuff I put mom & dad.

[ChristineLS]

I call them by their first names. Even though I like them, I refuse to call them mom and dad because I have my own mom and dad.

Plus, it creeps me out because then it would seem like Jon and I were brother and sister. :snide:

That's how I feel about it! Beyond that, my parents called their in-laws by their first name, calling someone else "mom" and "dad" would feel really unnatural for me, since this forum is the first I've heard of the custom.

It seemed like the leap from Mr. and Ms. LastName (they are divorced) to first name was the sign of closeness, not the other way around.

Will was laughing the other day, saying "I guess I can change your parents from Mr and Mrs YourLast Name in my phone"

[Jacklynn]

Nope, I call his parents by their first names and he does the same for mine. I can't imagine calling someone other than my mom and dad "mom and dad"

[jennybaby]

I call my future In Laws by their first names.

My FH is probably just going to call my Mom 'Mom.' We've never thought anything of it in my family. Both my SILs call her 'Mom.'

[VickiLynn84]

It feels weird for me to call Jon's parents mom and dad. even though I love them to peices. I already have a mom and dad. they sign everything that way but it just feels strange to me to even attempt to say it. Although one day I joked and called her Momma D (her name is Dorothy) and she liked that and signs her emails to me that way lol